I never knew my dad. My parents split up when I was three years old. My mother hated him with a vengeance until the day she died. Years later, I found out he used to come and watch me when I was drinking in Salford. I didn’t know he was there. I only found out he’d died when I had a breakdown after I’d split up with Mrs Merton [first wife Caroline Aherne]. I went to live with Mum, and she said, “Oh, Peter, I’ve got something to tell you. Your dad died three weeks ago…” I thought, “And you’re only telling me now?”
I’ve had a lot of grief in my life. [Joy Division singer] Ian Curtis, New Order, the Haçienda… I’ve started to see a therapist to help me get over New Order. My wife was sick of how, whenever it arose in conversation, I became distant. I was able to let go when the band split up. When they got back together without me it all turned around. How is my therapist going to help me with that? Dunno. That’s her job, isn’t it?
The Haçienda was incredible. Obviously, we lost loads of money, which, depending on what day it is, I can still get angry about. But the Summer of Love, from ’87 to ’89, will for ever be a blissful time in our memories. That club changed lives. And, I believe, changed the world.
I never get sick of hearing World in Motion. When I’ve toured America, I try to get someone in each city we play to do the John Barnes rap. Some of them are great. Some are rotten. But it’s amazing seeing the joy people have singing the song. That’s what music is about, isn’t it? Joy and coming together.
I’m at peace with Ian Curtis. I have an oil painting of him on my wall. I visit him whenever I pass the cemetery. I used to hold his tongue when he was having epileptic fits. You don’t forget something like that. I was thinking about him the other day, about how in the days before he killed himself, he was giving all his stuff away. But they say that’s what people do when they’re going to kill themselves. The tragedy of Ian isn’t the music he didn’t make, but that he didn’t get to be a father to his daughter.
I don’t think I’ll ever let go of my anger about how I was treated by New Order. I have to fight the nasty side of my character to deal with it in a businesslike way. It helps that I have a wonderful life, a wonderful family, and a wonderful career. But it’s like a divorce where you have to share the kids. We’ve got the songs.
I’m an alcohol and cocaine addict. I almost lost everything. I’ve been clean for 17 years now. It was bloody hard. I tried AA, but didn’t get on with it. I remember some woman waffling on about how proud she was she’d been to Reading festival and not had a drink. I remember thinking: “I headlined that festival!”
Nothing is more important than good friends. I’ve known my best friend, Twinny, since I was 14. He was Joy Division’s roadie. We’re going cycling next week, from Talacre to Llandudno. The more people I’ve lost in life the more I value friendships like ours.
Haçienda Classical will be playing at Hardwick Festival (18 August) and Dreamland Margate (28 August)