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Tweak: Growing Up on Methamphetamines Paperback – January 6, 2009


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The story that inspired the major motion picture Beautiful Boy featuring Steve Carell and Timothée Chalamet.

This New York Times bestselling memoir of a young man’s addiction to methamphetamine tells a raw, harrowing, and ultimately hopeful tale of the road from relapse to recovery.

Nic Sheff was drunk for the first time at age eleven. In the years that followed, he would regularly smoke pot, do cocaine and Ecstasy, and develop addictions to crystal meth and heroin. Even so, he felt like he would always be able to quit and put his life together whenever he needed to. It took a violent relapse one summer in California to convince him otherwise. In a voice that is raw and honest, Nic spares no detail in telling us the compelling, heartbreaking, and true story of his relapse and the road to recovery. As we watch Nic plunge into the mental and physical depths of drug addiction, he paints a picture for us of a person at odds with his past, with his family, with his substances, and with himself. It's a harrowing portrait—but not one without hope.
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Nic Sheff's wrenching tale is told with electrifying honesty and insight." -- Armistead Maupin, author of The Night Listener and Michael Tolliver Lives

"Difficult to read and impossible to put down." -- Chicago Tribune

"
Tweak is...Bukowski and Burroughs, the heart to his dad's head—and the kid can write." -- Seattle Weekly

"An unflinching chronicle of life as an addict." -- U.S. News & World Report

"Full of jaw-tightening and occasionally grisly scenes of shooting up, deals gone bad, guns and sex, Sheff’s story takes off like a shot in the arm with a terse, honest and spontaneous narrative." -- Kirkus Reviews

Review of
Tweak and Beautiful Boy: "Both takes on this story are riveting, brilliantly written, thoughtful, searingly honest and equally essential. They should be mandatory reading for every teenager and every parent of one." -- London Daily Mail

"The trajectory of drug addiction is nothing new, but Sheff's lucid, simple prose makes the heartbreaking journey seem fresh." -- San Francisco Chronicle

“A raw and sad account, vivid in its depiction of the pleasures and tunnel vision of addiction and the challenges of sobriety.” -- BCCB

"Raw, powerful, and honest." -- The Bookseller

About the Author

Nic Sheff is the author of two memoirs about his struggles with addiction: the New York Times bestselling Tweak: Growing Up on Methamphetamines and We All Fall Down: Living with Addiction. Nic lives in Los Angeles, California where he writes for film and television.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Atheneum Books for Young Readers; Reprint edition (January 6, 2009)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 352 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1416972196
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1416972198
  • Reading age ‏ : ‎ 15 years and up
  • Lexile measure ‏ : ‎ HL770L
  • Grade level ‏ : ‎ 9 - 12
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 10.6 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.9 x 8.25 inches
  • Customer Reviews:

About the author

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Nic Sheff
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Nic Sheff is a recovering drug addict and alcoholic. Still in his early twenties, he continues to fight daily battles with his addictions. His writing has been published in Newsweek, Nerve, and the San Francisco Chronicle. Tweak is his first book.

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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on April 21, 2013
As most have mentioned here, this is a great companion read to Nic's father's account of the family issues in his book Beautiful Boy. I think what makes this worth reading, is that you get the full perspective here and much more depth about what was really going on with Nic during the times his family was wondering and worrying. Nic also accurately portrays the disease of addiction, the cravings, the flawed thinking about doing things differently.

More importantly, I think there is a clear picture from Nic of the suffering he experienced as a child, going back and forth between his parents, and the issues with his stepfather are made clear as well. In David's book these issues are mentioned and emphasized, but they lack the personal perspective of what the child experienced. This book answers many of the unknowns if David's book and really captures the suffering that lead to the addiction.

Addressing the critical concerns:
1. I suggest all folks ignore some of the first pages of the writing style, as the writing skill progresses through the book and the style eases up with the "you knows", "or whatevers", and such. I almost didn't keep reading, but I was glad I did as the author proves himself to be a fine writer, capturing his personal development (or lack thereof) at any given time. I am not sure why the editor did not edit these out, as the work would be more appealing to a broader audience without those forms of common speech embedded.

2. The name dropping, knowing famous people: unfortunately I think this is normal for a lot of people in LA (yes I used to live there) and becomes part of the culture there. I personally think Nic is able to recognize in this work how the allure of "being someone" drew him in, mostly due to his own inadequacies (whether recognized in the moment, he seems to me to clearly reflect this as an issue he addresses in recovery).

3. Ethical concerns about disclosure: I teach ethics and actually I would be okay with the disclosure about his relationship(s) given the assumption that anybody deemed as identifiable was aware and granted permission. I think maybe this didn't happen. Again, this should be part of the publishing and editing process, so I personally would not hold Nic alone overly accountable to this. I was not able to identify anybody specifically, but I assume others in circles in LA may have been able to do so.

4. Lack of maturity in the writing, Nic's apparent selfishness, etc: I agree with some of this, but I actually think it is great because it shows Nic's arrested development which is related to his illness and life traumas. The idea of this book is to provide insight to others on the life of a young addict and if you think he portrays himself as superficial and immature, that is in part due to the reality of his illness and his traumas.

5. Redundancy: yes Nic is in and out of rehab. Yes you know each time he relapses it will end in big bad failure. Yes it gets old, but I think this is part of the accuracy of the portrayal of his life. These repetitions are needed to convey the pain and suffering of the repeated suffering of the addict.

6. Nic's writing skills: room for growth and I can see where the slang and rawness of his approach may bother some folks, but it read real to me given his development when he was writing this. I think his writing skills also reflect a lot about his generation. I think he is also emulating many of the authors he finds inspiring.

I am wishing Nic, David, and family some peace, ease, and joy in their life and I hope that they both continue on their healing journey. It's an everyday commitment to healing and everyday new opportunities arise for growth.

~Carey S Clark, PhD, RN, AHN-BC, RYT
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Reviewed in the United States on March 9, 2008
First off, I should say that I'm not one of those "I read it cover to cover in one day" kind of readers. I hear people say "I couldn't put it down" when describing a book and wonder what kind of life - obviously devoid of things needing to be DONE - they live.

That said, I read "Tweak" - cover to cover - in one day. I couldn't put it down.

I've had friends addicted to meth. I know that meth's grip is insidious and tenacious - that the predictable and almost-methodical way it destroys everything in a person's life is almost viral in nature. But seeing this "inside look" at how a meth addict perceives his addiction, his drug, his life, and the destruction of everything perceived as valuable - occurring right before his eyes... it's a compelling, haunting narrative.

The most striking thing for me in Nic's story is how at the very bottom - when virtually all is lost - the only thing that remains is the most sober of thoughts: "it's time to get clean". And at a time and in a condition where no hidden reservoirs of strength remain, the fight of a lifetime begins.

Watching Nic's recovery is like watching the heroine in a horror flick walk (usually backwards... go figure) into a closet where the slasher villain is lying in wait to kill her. You recognize the villain and the precariousness of the situation long before Nic does - and you're screaming "don't go in there" - because by this point, you see how far he's come and you're rooting for him to make it and you see the disaster about to happen. It's interesting that Nic's father (who also writes "the parent's perspective" of his son's addiction in 
Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Meth Addiction ) is involved in the production of horror movies, because his story has so many elements of a great horror movie.

There are many heroes in this story aside from Nic - his family and his sponsor (Spencer) chief among them. To open yourself up to participating - emotionally investing - in a life with someone who repeatedly has shredded all sense of normalcy, safety and comfort - that takes a healthy dose of courage, perseverance, and love. Those are the hallmarks of every great hero, and his father, step-mother, mother, sponsor (and his wife) bear all of these hallmarks.

Read this book to reaffirm your faith in the strength of the human spirit - its dogged determination to survive, its desire to thrive and its capacity to forgive. Give this book to the young people in your life to instill an honest, powerful image of how drugs can destroy a life and inflict pain and sadness on everyone connected to that life.

But be prepared to lose a day, because you're not going to want to put it down.
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Top reviews from other countries

Dominique Barker
5.0 out of 5 stars Outstanding
Reviewed in Canada on January 11, 2023
That’s really the only word to describe this memoir.
An incredible, inspiring, heart wrenching, ugly, beautiful tale of relapse and recovery. Nic Sheff provides clarity on the life of the addict while simultaneously offering the point of view of the loved ones as well. Nick’s lifelong struggle with acceptance and validation coexists with his addiction to drugs. His struggle with mental illness is incredibly open and honest.
I read this book for the first time as a struggling 13 year old, and it stuck with me tor ten years in the back of my mind. Finally rereading it as an adult made me feel so many things for Nic and also for myself. It opened up an entire inner monologue for myself and started so many conversations. This is one of those stories that stay with you no matter how long it’s been.
Pixiemeat
5.0 out of 5 stars One of the best addiction memoirs ever!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 13, 2023
I've read A LOT of books about drug addiction, but Tweak has to be up there as one of the best I've ever read.

Quite simply, it's Nic's unflinching honesty that makes it such an incredible read.

I've never underlined so many passages in a book ever. If you only read one of these types of addiction memoirs, please read this one!
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Cindy
5.0 out of 5 stars Wow
Reviewed in Germany on November 28, 2022
Amazing
Trishanjana Bhattacharya
5.0 out of 5 stars Beautiful Boy
Reviewed in India on February 18, 2022
Tweak is a must read book for someone who's struggling with addiction.. the boy in this book again fall for the addiction when he was enjoying his life for the first time after overcoming from his relapse with the women named Zelda which makes me sad .. some how when I was reading this I started having a feeling for this boy so I didn't want him to relapse again.. also I have watched the movie based on this book called Beautiful Boy act beautifully by Timothée Chalamet.. I really really like his acting..
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Trishanjana Bhattacharya
5.0 out of 5 stars Beautiful Boy
Reviewed in India on February 18, 2022
Tweak is a must read book for someone who's struggling with addiction.. the boy in this book again fall for the addiction when he was enjoying his life for the first time after overcoming from his relapse with the women named Zelda which makes me sad .. some how when I was reading this I started having a feeling for this boy so I didn't want him to relapse again.. also I have watched the movie based on this book called Beautiful Boy act beautifully by Timothée Chalamet.. I really really like his acting..
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Manuel Nava V
5.0 out of 5 stars Excelente libro!
Reviewed in Mexico on October 22, 2019
Excelente libro. Por casualidad leí primero el de Beautiful Boy y realmente creo que es el orden correcto para leerlo. Me impresionó mucho, me dió un baño de realidad desde un punto de vista cercano al problema de addicción. Muy recomendado.
2 people found this helpful
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