How playing Scout in To Kill A Mockingbird changed my life

There had been a cattle call throughout the south, to let them know there was an audition for To Kill A Mockingbird. My mom had to ask my dad, who said no. She said, “Now, Henry, what are the chances that the child will get the part anyway?”

When we went in for the audition, they gave us the script, and I read it and loved it. My mom said that the next morning I was popping out with lines already – Scout’s lines. She knew I had something.

I went to New York for a screen test, and then to California to film it. I didn’t read the book until after I had my daughter. How many times have you seen a film and read the book, and it alters your impression? I had my whole life up there on screen, and I was perfectly happy with the way it was.

When I read the book, here were all these people I never knew existed! People we all have in our families, good or otherwise. Anyone who lived in the south during that period, the 30s through the 60s, and even today, can totally relate to the feel of the book and the tempo – the slowness and the way things are done. People go to church, and if you don’t go to church, they come to your house to check on you or call. If you are sick, they bring food. They take care of your garden if you are not able to.

I grew up in a house full of boys, so I really didn’t relate to females at all. I trailed around after my brothers, and I wanted to be doing whatever they were doing. Of course, they would try and get rid of me. I just wish I could have been as smart as Scout was, always there with the comeback.

Being on the set was playtime. We had a blast. Phillip (Alford, who played Jem) said we used to fight all the time. I don’t remember it, but he said we did. Bob Mulligan was one of the best directors ever. He would squat down and get eye to eye and talk to me like an adult. I don’t ever remember him talking to us like children. He would just set up the scene for us: “The camera’s gonna be here, you’re gonna be here. We’re gonna move this way. And then you do your line.” How I delivered the lines was left to me. I could do them on the fly. I think it shows.

We only got as much of the script as we needed to know. I was just a normal, stupid kid from Birmingham, Alabama, but I memorised all the lines. Somebody would hesitate on a line, and be thinking about how to deliver it, and I would think that they were having trouble, so I would mouth it. And they’d say, “Cut. You can’t do that, Mary. We can see you on film doing that.” It was bad. Phillip got so mad at me for that. I just didn’t know.

For the scene on the porch swing when Atticus says, “Scout, do you know what a compromise is?” I was supposed to cry, and I couldn’t. I was having fun. They tried everything. They took me off to one side and said, “Did you ever lose a pet?” They finally resorted to blowing onion juice in my eye.

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The hardest scene by far was the jail scene, where we go looking for Atticus. It was the last day of filming, and I knew that I would have to say goodbye to all these people and I would never see any of them ever again. These people were like family. I didn’t want it to end.

I wasn’t doing my lines right. Finally Mr Mulligan called “Cut!” and my mom took me to the trailer and said, “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you better get yourself together. Do you know what the freeway is like at five o’clock? These people have to go home.” So I went out and I did the stuff: “Hey, Mr Cunningham”, and “I know your son.”

Gregory Peck will always be Atticus. He was so wonderful. I miss him a lot. Years later, the phone would ring, and he’d be on the other end of the line. “What ya doing, kiddo?” He’d check on me just to see how I was doing, because I lost my parents very early. My mom died three weeks after I graduated high school. My dad died two years after I got married. It was kind of hard. So after they were gone, Atticus would call and check on me. If he was gonna be on the east coast, he’d say, “I’ll take you out to lunch.” And whenever I was in California, I’d always go visit. He was such a role model, and I always wanted him to be proud of me.

My father was very much like Atticus. We were raised with all those morals, all that grounding. Little girls were expected to toe the line and learn to take care of the house and be mothers and wives, and that was about it. Atticus understood Scout. He didn’t speak down to his children.

After my daddy died, it was good to have the continuance of that male role model. I had three daddies. There was Atticus, and there was my own daddy, and there was Brock Peters (who played Tom Robinson).

I didn’t understand the importance of the film until much, much later. I didn’t even get to see it until we had the premiere. Then I really kind of understood it. The messages are so clear and so simple. It’s about a way of life, getting along, and learning tolerance. This is not a black-and-white 1930s issue, this is a global issue. Racism and bigotry haven’t gone anywhere. Ignorance hasn’t gone anywhere.

Mary Badham was nominated for an Academy Award for best supporting actress for her role as Scout. (Patty Duke won for The Miracle Worker.) After appearing in two more movies, she retired from acting at 14. She is now an art restorer and lives in Virginia.

Extracted from Scout, Atticus & Boo by Mary McDonagh Murphy (Arrow, £7.99). To order a copy for £6.39, go to bookshop.theguardian.com or call 0330 333 6846.