The Best 'Love Actually' Quotes, Ranked

[The new Prime Minister has just arrived in Number Ten Downing Street]
Annie: Would you like to meet your household staff?
Prime Minister: Yes, I would like that very much indeed. Anything to put off actually running the country.

Annie: And this is Natalie. She's new as well.
 Natalie: Hello David. I mean, Sir. Shit, I can't believe I've just said that. And now I've gone and said 'shit'. Twice. Oh, I'm so sorry Sir.
 Prime Minister: That's alright. You could have said 'fuck' and then we'd all be in trouble.
 Natalie: Thank you, Sir. I did have a terrible premonition I was going to fuck up on my first day. Oh piss it!

[on sheets of poster board]Mark: With any luck, by next year - I'll be going out with one of these girls.[shows pictures of beautiful supermodels]Mark: But for now, let me say - Without hope or agenda - Just because it's Christmas - And at Christmas you tell the truth - To me, you are perfect - And my wasted heart will love you - Until you look like this.[picture of a mummy]Mark: Merry Christmas.

[At the altar, just before Peter is married]Peter: No surprises?Mark: No surprises.Peter: Not like the stag night?Mark: Unlike the stag night.Peter: Do you admit the Brazilian prostitutes were a mistake?Mark: I do.Peter: And it would have been much better if they'd not turned out to be men?Mark: That is true.

Rufus: [gift wrapping a gold necklace] Let me just pop it in the box. There. Harry: Look, can we be quite quick? Rufus: Certainly sir. Ready in the flashiest of flashes![he ties a ribbon around it] Rufus: There. Harry: That's great. Rufus: Not quite finished...Harry: [Rufus pulls out a plastic bag] Actually, I don't need a bag, I'll just put it in my pocket. Rufus: Oh this isn't a bag, sir. Harry: Really? Rufus: This is SO much more than a bag...

Colin: Exciting news! Tony: What? Colin: I've bought a ticket to the States. I'm off in three weeks. Tony: No! Colin: Yes! To a fantastic place called Wisconsin. Tony: No! Colin: Yes! Wisconsin babes, here comes Sir Colin! Whoo hoo! Tony: No, Col! There are a few babes in America, I grant you, but they're already going out with rich, attractive guys. Colin: Nah, Tone, you're just jealous. You know perfectly well that any bar anywhere in America contains ten girls more beautiful and more likely to have sex with me than the whole of the United Kingdom. Tony: That is total bollocks. You've actually gone mad, now. Colin: No, I'm wise. Stateside I am Prince William without the weird family. Tony: No, Colin, no! Colin: Yes! Tony: Nyet! Colin: Da! Tony: Nein! Colin: Ja, darling!

Juliet: I thought I might be able to swap it for some pie or... or maybe Munchies? Mark: Actually, I was being serious. I don't know where it is. I'll have a poke around tonight... Juliet: Mark, can I say something? Mark: Yeah. Juliet: I know you're Peter's best friend and I know you've never particularly warmed to me. Look, don't... don't argue. We've never got friendly. But I just wanted to say, I hope that can change. I'm nice. I really am. Apart from my terrible taste in pie and... It would be great if we could be friends. Mark: Absolutely. Juliet: Great. Mark: Doesn't mean we'll be able to find the video, though. I had a real search when you first called and couldn't trace any of it, so... Juliet: Well, there's one here that says "Peter and Juliet's Wedding". Do you think we might be on the right track?

[in Portuguese]

Jamie: Beautiful Aurelia, I've come here with a view of asking you to marriage me. I know I seems an insane person - because I hardly knows you - but sometimes things are so transparency, they don't need evidential proof. And I will inhabit here, or you can inhabit with me in England. Sophia Barros: [in Portuguese] Definitely go for England, girl. You'll meet Prince William - then you can marry him instead.