We previously discussed the bizarre divorce case of former Chicago Cubs player Ben Zobrist and his estranged wife Julianna Zobrist. The case took a nasty turn when it came out that Zobrist was suing his former pastor Bryon Yawn for $6 million. He is accusing Yawn of sleeping with his wife, Julianna, a contemporary-Christian singer, after they came to him for marital counseling. Yawn, former pastor at Community Bible Church in Nashville, is also accused of stealing money from Yobrist’s charity. Now Julianna has come forward with a claim of $4 million that is breathtaking in its audacity and, in my view, lunacy. Thus, I award it my Equus Gluteus Maximus (EGM) Award for legal argument. The EGM is awarded to only those arguments that truly distinguished themselves in sheer asininity.
At the outset, I have to admit a bias toward Ben Zobrist as a lifelong Cubs fan. We are, after all, indelibly linked in history and baseball legend: Ben as the MVP of the 2016 World Series and myself as the person who broke the Billygoat curse that allowed him (and the Cubbies) to win.
However, the most recent claim of the Julianna Zobrist could seal her reputation as the most ridiculed figure in Chicago since Steve Bartman.
Julianna is demanding millions on the premise that Zobrist did not play hard enough as a player and therefore failed to protect their “marital assets.” This is from a wife who had an affair with their pastor — an affair that reportedly was the reason that Ben Zobrist fell apart. (Ben Zobrist is deeply religious and reportedly did not want a divorce so he consulted with the pastor secretly sleeping with his wife).
Nevertheless, Julianna believes that Ben should have bucked up Buttercup and played harder: she insists her husband “essentially went from the top of his game to basically giving up, which caused a massive loss in income” and that he “intentionally and voluntarily stopped working.” I wonder why.
She is now arguing “In 2019, he had a contract with the Chicago Cubs for ($12 million), but since he only played for 2 months, his salary was prorated and he only earned ($4.5 million) of the ($12 million) he could have earned.” Ben Zobrist claims that it was Julianna who “coaxed him” back into playing.
This is akin to an arsonist suing the victim for failing to have less combustible possessions.
The claim in my view is so utterly beyond the pale that it more than warrants the distinction of a EGM.
Ben Zobrist is well rid of her. I’m sorry for the pain and suffering he’s going through right now, discovering that she is of low character. This is one of those situations where making it work would be worse than going in polar opposite directions.
The only thing worse than losing a relationship is being at the mercy of an unethical partner while you’re incapacitated with a serious illness like cancer or recovering from surgery.
Some Christian she is huh? What a joke. I hope she gets nothing. The b*tch better start looking for a job instead of depending upon Ben for his money. The gall she has to go to marriage counseling and still be banging the Pastor while she’s doing it just so he’ll go back to work. She should be thrown in jail for fraud.
Her lawyer is the one advancing the theory on her behalf. Why aren’t you name checking the lawyer? He/she/it deserves the EGM.
EGM it is!
While this woman’s claim is truly outrageous because she is the putative cause of his voluntary unemployment due to her own misconduct, there is such a thing in family law as “imputed income”, in which a court “imputes” a certain amount of income to someone who is voluntarily underemployed or temporarily unemployed (being disabled doesn’t count). Sometimes people anticipating a divorce intentionally turn down a higher-paying job or promotion to keep down the amount of child support until after the divorce. Of course, that’s not what is going on here. The law is there, but the facts aren’t. While she is a greedy pig, this is really her lawyer’s fault.
NUTCHACHA’s purloined motto:
“If you can’t dazzle ’em with brilliance, baffle ’em with bull—-!”
– W.C. Fields
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There ain’t nothin’ like the pretzel-formed convolution of a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma, to quote Churchill, and, definitely, possibly, I think, maybe, for sure, right(?), NUTCHACHA is an enigma.
You go, girl!
I was merely pointing out that in divorce proceedings, a court can impute income to one spouse if it feels that the spouse has low income due to voluntarily refusing bonuses or promotions, or because of unemployment that is not their fault, but which is likely to be reversed in the near future. So, there are legal grounds for a court to use a higher income amount for purposes of calculating child support, but that this theory does not apply to these facts. Apparently, that’s what her lawyer was trying to do–claim he could and should have earned more money, ignoring the fact that his emotional distress over her infidelity with her spiritual counselor, no less, was the cause. You don’t get it, do you?
Professional sports workers should not get married. Go to a cathouse and pay per play.
Don’t join up with some hooker in marriage.
She must be a Democrat.
How cruel to force her to live on $4.5 million! The world really is going to hell.
Are you certain this isn’t a test of a plot for “As the Stomach Turns?” Did she file any pleadings that raised this claim or has she only stated it? If pleadings have been filed, then her attorney should get his or her fair share of the prize. I don’t believe I could sign my name to such pleadings much less stand up in court and argue her claims.
An ass in nine can be put into one word. An ass in the ninth hole means the golfer is so far behind that he can’t win.
ItShay article. EGM means Eastern Geographic Metophore.
Shame you do not issue that Award in the Political Arena.
They do, it’s a Patricipation Trophy in D.C. and Olympia.
The audience is questioning, “Where/what the heck is Olympia, is that in Greece?”
They don’t know good beer!
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“It’s the [Tumwater], stupid!”
– James Carville