Christmas, Hanukkah overlap for 4th time in 100 years

In the past two weeks Martha Kennedy has polished her grandmother's menorah and brought out the family's Christmas decorations.

On Christmas morning she will sit by a tree decorated with ornaments from the family's travels and open presents with her husband and two children. At sundown, she will light the first candle of Hanukkah and say a blessing in Hebrew.

For this first time since 1959, Christmas and the first night of Hanukkah fall on the same day.

December has always been a balancing act for interfaith families like the Kennedys — she's Jewish; her husband, Jerry, was raised as a Christian — because the Jewish Festival of Lights generally falls during the same month that Christians celebrate the birth of Christ. Some have called it the "December Dilemma;" The O.C., a Fox television show, merged the two holidays in a 2003 episode and dubbed the result "Chrismukkah." Commercialism followed, and now there are Chrismukkah cards, candles and even a cookbook.

The number of families trying to respect two religions is growing. According to the National Jewish Population Survey 2000-01, 47 percent of Jews who wed since 1996 have married people of other faiths.

Most blended families responding to a survey by InterfaithFamily.com said they would celebrate both Christmas and Hanukkah this weekend. But two-thirds said they would keep the observances separate. A majority (78 percent) thought "Chrismukkah" was a bad idea because blending the two holidays can confuse children, said Edmund Case of the nonprofit advocacy group.

When it comes to celebrating both holidays, Rabbi Steve Gross of the Houston Congress for Reformed Judaism says it's a question of religious meaning.

"What is the value we are teaching through the observance of the holiday?" asked Gross, who is Martha Kennedy's rabbi. "What does the tree mean in an interfaith family? If its meaning is religious and involves going to church and the message is the birth of the Savior, that could be confusing if you get a completely different message from the other faith."

One of the big challenges families face is holding on to the traditions of one parent, while observing the religion of the other. Gross suggests that interfaith families raising children as Jews celebrate Christmas and have a tree with the Christian grandparents. Parents raising children as Christians could celebrate Hanukkah with the Jewish grandparents.

Every family handles the challenge in its own way.

Hade Cashion, a Catholic, plans to attend midnight Mass on Christmas Eve and open presents with his family the next morning. At sundown Sunday, he will help celebrate the first night of Hanukkah.

"We have done a tree every year," said his wife, Lisa, who is Jewish. "That's his holiday. We share each other's holidays and respect that we both believe in the same higher power."

The Cashions, who are expecting their third child on Dec. 31, are raising their children Jewish. The oldest, 6-year-old Jacob, knows that Christmas is part of Daddy's religious tradition. But with the two holidays on the same day this year, it's overwhelming for small children, Lisa Cashion said.

"We told them that because Christmas and Hanukkah are on the same day this year, there won't be as many presents under the tree, though Santa will still leave gifts and stuff stockings," she said.

In January, the Cashions will celebrate Christmas in South Texas with Hade's family.

Meanwhile, their Christmas nook has a decorated tree and stockings. The Hanukkah nook contains the family menorah, a basket of dreidels, a Happy Hanukkah sign and lights.

After sundown and a dinner of turkey and latkes Sunday, the family will light the menorah and open Hanukkah gifts.

Martha Kennedy remembers having a hard time dealing with Christmas after her two children were born.

"Jerry had all these wonderful traditions that he did as a child," she said. "I didn't have a Christmas tree, so I had a lot of guilt."

A discussion with her mother changed her mind.

"I was like: 'I just don't think I can have a tree.' But my mother said: 'If it was some sort of exotic European thing, you would embrace the tradition, you would want to bring this into your family. It's really no different,' " Kennedy recalled. "So she gave me the seal of approval."

Jeff and Rita Williams have two sons. David, 12, is being raised Catholic like his mother; Justin, 5, is being raised Jewish, his father's faith.

Early on, Jeff Williams had "agreed to raise the children Catholic, because I figured a lot of times the faith of the mother is dominant with little kids. But as time went on, I felt left out, and I missed my traditions."

This year, as always, they have a Christmas tree, with decorations that include a Star of David ornament.

They plan to go to Mass on Christmas Eve and open most of their presents that night, keeping with the Noche Buena traditions of Rita Williams' native Guatemala.

On Sunday night, Williams will light his menorah, say a prayer and give each child a small gift.

"We all believe in the same God," said Jeff Williams, who also was raised in an interfaith family.

barbara.karkabi@chron.com