Although my mom and I fight, I still love her…a lot

“It’s really hard being a teenager. There are so many problems that we have to go through in society. But none of them can compare to the problems we have with our parents.
Parents tend to have a very weird way of showing that they love us with all their Do’s and Don’ts all the time. Oh, and my favorite word is “NO.” When a parent tells their child “NO” and gives no reason along with it, that can really bug and leave them wanting to know why. I speak from experience. Once I asked my mom if I could spend the night at a friend’s house and she told me “NO.” When I asked her why, she said “I don’t have to give you a reason because I’m your mother.” Of course being the stubborn person that I am, I needed a better reason, and we ended up arguing.
I love my mom very much and I’m very fortunate to have her as my mom. However, I really would like to have a better relationship with her. The relationship we have is alright. I enjoy our little mother/daughter moments that we have when just the two of us are able to talk to each other. Late one night she told me I could ask her anything about what guys expect from girls. I was happy she asked because I had so many questions I wanted to ask and because I trust she’ll give me valuable information.

If only we could stop fighting
If only we could have more bonding rather than be at each other’s throats, then perhaps we could be happier. There isn’t a day that goes by without us arguing over stupid stuff. In fact, some of the things are so stupid that I don’t even remember half of it. One time I was bored, I already did my homework and it was a Saturday, so I asked my mom if I could watch the UCLA basketball game. She knows how obsessed I am with UCLA and since I hardly ever watch television, I figured it would be alright. But to my surprise, she said “NO.” She said that I watch too much TV (which isn’t true) and that I should go study. I got mad at this and I started my usual routine of “why not” and I called her a mean old woman, which she really hates, and not only was I not able to watch TV, but I wasn’t able to go out that day either.
I don’t like fighting with my mom because it really hurts me. I wish that we could just get along, but it’s hard. She’s always yelling at me for something or calling me names. She tells me I’m selfish because I never ask her if she needs any help and I always ask her to go out or have her do me favors. She has a point but she’s not looking at my needs.

Sometimes I disrespect her
No, I’m not a little angel, I do disrespect my mom, which is something that I have to work on. I remember on Halloween night, I really wanted to go out with my friends. I asked her calmly if I could go out, and she told me “NO” because she doesn’t want me to celebrate a pagan holiday. This made me very upset because I had made plans with some friends to go out and I would have to cancel. I told her that she was mean and that I would have nothing to do but just stay in the house and be bored while everyone was out having fun. She told me that was too bad. I lost my cool and we ended up exchanging a few unhappy words. And just when I thought my night couldn’t get any worse, this guy called me and my mom picked up the phone. Because she was mad at me, she started asking him all these questions like how old he was and where did he meet me. And when he told her to ask me, she got upset and told him that if he couldn’t answer a simple question not to call anymore. This really made me mad and our argument escalated so much, I just couldn’t handle all of the negative energy and I had to go sleep at a friend’s house.

It hurts when she calls me names
It hurts me when she calls me names and yells at me. It’s worse when she says she hates me and that all I am is a burden in her life and how she wishes she never had me. For those of you whose parent(s) have told you that, you know how much it hurts. Even when my mom apologizes for saying that to me, it still hurts.
Sometimes I find myself feeling as though she doesn’t love me and that she favors my sister over me. When I come home my sister’s drawings and certificates are all around the house, while the articles that I have written are in a folder in her room. I have asked her if she could drop me off at one of my LA Youth staff meetings, and she tells me that she doesn’t have time, but she’ll have enough time to take my sister to her art class every Saturday. I feel like the outcast of the family, as though I don’t belong.
I wish that we could just get along but it’s hard. I wish that I could just go to her and be able to talk to her about anything or ask her for something without having to get into an argument with her. I wish that she would trust me more and actually listen to what I have to say and not always assume things. I guess all I can do for now is just try to do my part by continuing to love my mom and try my hardest to respect and stop questioning her all the time. Because I will never have another mom.”