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I'm Glad My Mom Died: Jennette McCurdy Hardcover – 15 Sept. 2022
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Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition. Her mother’s dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called “calorie restriction,” eating little and weighing herself five times a day. She endured extensive at-home makeovers while Mom chided, “Your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn’t tint hers?” She was even showered by Mom until age sixteen while sharing her diaries, email, and all her income.
In I’m Glad My Mom Died, Jennette recounts all this in unflinching detail—just as she chronicles what happens when the dream finally comes true. Cast in a new Nickelodeon series called iCarly, she is thrust into fame. Though Mom is ecstatic, emailing fan club moderators and getting on a first-name basis with the paparazzi (“Hi Gale!”), Jennette is riddled with anxiety, shame, and self-loathing, which manifest into eating disorders, addiction, and a series of unhealthy relationships. These issues only get worse when, soon after taking the lead in the iCarly spinoff Sam & Cat alongside Ariana Grande, her mother dies of cancer. Finally, after discovering therapy and quitting acting, Jennette embarks on recovery and decides for the first time in her life what she really wants.
Told with refreshing candor and dark humor, I’m Glad My Mom Died is an inspiring story of resilience, independence, and the joy of shampooing your own hair.
- ISBN-101982185821
- ISBN-13978-1982185824
- Edition1st
- PublisherSimon & Schuster
- Publication date15 Sept. 2022
- LanguageEnglish
- Dimensions15.24 x 3.3 x 22.86 cm
- Print length320 pages
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Product description
Review
“Not many people rise to her level of fame or are so deeply abused, but McCurdy’s narrative will feel familiar to anyone who has navigated poverty and trauma. Taking advantage of the store discount at your dad’s retail job, tuning out screaming matches between parents, avoiding calls from debt collectors … this is what childhood is like for millions of Americans. Like many, I recognized myself in her words.”—Sabrina Cartan, Slate
“Unflinching…This year’s most candid book…I'm Glad My Mom Died made me laugh; it made me cry. It's such a funny, dark, moving, honest, real, uncensored book, and it's unlike anything I've ever read.”—Mary Elizabeth Williams, Salon
“[The]number-one New York Times-bestselling memoir that has also achieved pop-cultural phenomenon status…I'm Glad My Mom Died is more than source material for a deluge of headlines about Grande and the slimy advances of a Nickelodeon svengali McCurdy calls simply ‘The Creator.’ McCurdy distinguishes herself from standard-issue celebrity memoir fare with a vivid, biting, darkly comic tone and an immersive present tense.”—Michelle Ruiz, Vogue
“For McCurdy, this book isn't just her writing debut. It's a reckoning with guilt and grief after her mother's premature death. It's healing from multiple eating disorders and processing decades of trauma. It's finally doing what she wants for the first time: not acting. Writing…Healing from trauma looks different for everyone: For McCurdy, writing this memoir symbolized empowerment over her narrative. And understanding that it's OK not to forgive her late mother provided her peace.”—Jenna Ryu, USA Today
“Judging simply by the shocking title of Jennette McCurdy’s debut memoir, I’m Glad My Mom Died, you may think the book is a no-holds-barred, scathing takedown of her mother and everyone else who perpetuated the horrifying upbringing that the former iCarly star endured, but you’d be wrong. McCurdy’s book is certainly revealing, describing the abuse she endured from her mother, who pushed her into acting at age 6, then guided her directly into an eating disorder and much worse until her death in 2013. But beyond that, it’s a measured, heartbreakingly poignant, and often laugh-out-loud-funny memoir with McCurdy showing more sympathy for her complicated mother than most people could even imagine mustering. However, what is perhaps most important about her memoir, which is smart, well-written, and powerful, is just how much hope and help it will surely provide to those suffering similar abuses right now.”—Scott Neumyer, Shondaland
“The new memoir from former child star Jennette McCurdy has an attention-grabbing title: I’m Glad My Mom Died. Over the course of the book, McCurdy, who built her name on Nickelodeon’s iCarly and Sam and Cat, more than makes her case, detailing years of her mother’s mental and physical abuse. The result is a detailed look at a very specific and individual childhood of horrors, but it also points to a major systemic problem. I’m Glad My Mom Died doubles as a damning indictment of the child star system…She paints a vivid picture of child stardom as a system in which children find themselves turned into walking piles of other people’s cash, and summarily dismantled when they lose their value. It’s damning both for the horrors she experienced as an individual and the systemic failures to which her story points.”—Constance Grady, Vox
“McCurdy’s book must be written by someone. Why? It must be done because there is someone out there right now who truly believes that life will never be any different. They truly believe that they will live under their parent’s thumb, never have the life they wanted, not trust their own agency, their own minds, and people like Jennette exist to tell them: You are not wrong, you can trust yourself. You can do this too.”—Erin Taylor, Observer
“A stunning memoir…[McCurdy] reveals herself to be a stingingly funny and insightful writer, capable of great empathy and a brutal punchline. It’s a document not just of all she’s endured, but also of the wisdom she accrued along the way.”—Sam Lansky, Time
“A coming-of-age story that is alternately harrowing and mordantly funny.”—Dave Itzkoff, The New York Times
“[A] magnum opus…sharply funny and empathetic.”—Ashley Spencer, The Washington Post
“McCurdy strips away the candy-coated facade of her sitcom experiences.”—Vanity Fair
“[The] US summer publishing sensation that—in short, punchy sentences delivered with a high level of self-perception—could transform the trauma memoir business…[T]he book, and the reception it has received, could return the focus of the trauma narratives to the mother and create new demand for mother-daughter accounts.”—Edward Helmore, The Guardian
“[An] explosive debut…insightful and incisive, heartbreaking and raw, McCurdy’s narrative reveals a strong woman who triumphs over unimaginable pressure to emerge whole on the other side. Fans will be rapt.”—Publishers Weekly (starred review)
“McCurdy asks readers a question: When and how does one rid oneself of the cage created by others and walk freely? Her stunning debut offers fierce honesty, empathy for those that contributed to her grief, and insights into the hard-fought attachments and detachments of growing older.”—Booklist (starred review)
“Delivered with captivating candor and grace.”—Kirkus (starred review)
“Jennette McCurdy is the queen of lemonade from lemons, using her trauma to weave a painfully funny story that also illuminates the commodification of teenage girls in America. An important cultural document just as much as a searingly personal one.”—Lena Dunham
“Jennette’s road to finding herself—removed from the expectations of her mother—is impressively funny. She fuses nuanced relationships, complex grief, religious whiplash and Hollywood trauma into a bold story with a specific comedic voice.”—Jerrod Carmichael
“How can a book be so sad and also so funny? It's an art, and Jennette McCurdy has mastered it here. I’m Glad My Mom Died is hysterical and heartbreaking and fascinating all at the same time.”—Jenny Lawson, New York Times bestselling author of Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things and Broken (in the Best Possible Way)
“I'm Glad My Mom Died is furious, sad, brave, knowing, honest, heart-wrenching, and utterly compelling. McCurdy writes with a keen insight and startling compassion. Whether showing how dysfunction can seem normal to those most affected, the torture of eating disorders, or the mindfuck that is child stardom, McCurdy brings readers deep into the milieu so often hidden from outsiders. This is a beautifully crafted coming-of-age story as fearless as its author.” —Lauren Hough, New York Times bestselling author of Leaving Isn’t the Hardest Thing
“Jennette McCurdy’s book is a coruscating picture of her life as a child actor, devastatingly honest and with great understanding of the psychology and emotions operating at a deep level. It’s a riveting read, entertaining and very touching.”—Hayley Mills, New York Times bestselling author of Forever Young
“Jennette’s career as an actor was simply a character in a much more important story. She is a natural writer with a wonderful sense of humor. Her story is heartbreaking with a nice balance of hopeful. I could not put this book down.”—Laraine Newman, original cast member of Saturday Night Live and author of May You Live in Interesting Times
From the Back Cover
About the Author
Product details
- Publisher : Simon & Schuster; 1st edition (15 Sept. 2022)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 320 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1982185821
- ISBN-13 : 978-1982185824
- Dimensions : 15.24 x 3.3 x 22.86 cm
- Best Sellers Rank: 1,029 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer reviews:
About the author
New York Times Bestselling Author Jennette McCurdy has been showcasing her multitude of talents for over 20 years, with more than 100 credits under her belt between film and TV. Most recently, Jennette has chronicled the unflinching details surrounding her life and rise to fame in her memoir I’m Glad My Mom Died, which stayed at #1 on the NYT bestseller list for 52 consecutive weeks and has been in the top 5 on the NYT best seller list for 44 straight weeks. In the inspiring book of resilience and independence, Jennette uses candor and dark humor as she dives into her struggles as a former child actor—including eating disorders, addiction, and a complicated relationship with her overbearing mother—and how she retook control of her life.
In addition to her impressive acting resume, Jennette is an accomplished creator. Her darkly comedic one-woman show “I’m Glad My Mom Died,” which she wrote, directed, and stars in, had a sold-out run at Lyric Hyperion Theatre. Jennette has been at the forefront of writing and directing Strong Independent Women and Kenny, which was featured on Short of the Week and nominated for the Grand Jury Prize for Best Short Film at the Florida Film Festival. Her works have also been published in the Huffington Post, the Wall Street Journal, and The Hollywood Reporter.
Jennette is currently writing her debut fiction novel, set to release in 2024. Jennette has also been honored as part of the 2022 TIME100 Next list, a compilation of emerging leaders from around the world who are shaping the future and defining the next generation of leadership.
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Hailing from Los Angeles, McCurdy, alongside three older brothers, navigated a home dominated by her mother's control. At the tender age of 3, her mother faced a diagnosis of breast cancer, a battle she initially survived but one that would ultimately claim her life when the author was 21. McCurdy courageously lays bare the intervening years, delving into the depths of how "my mom emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me in ways that will forever impact me."
Debra, driven by an unrelenting desire to mold her only daughter into "Mommy's little actress," orchestrated auditions for McCurdy starting at the tender age of 6. As the author matured and secured acting roles, she found herself caught in a relentless pursuit to impress her mother, who, in turn, grew increasingly fixated on her daughter's physical appearance. The narrative unfolds to reveal a mother who, with a cruel perfectionist demeanor, subjected McCurdy to extreme measures—tinting her eyelashes, whitening her teeth, enforcing strict calorie restrictions, and conducting invasive examinations during her teenage years.
As McCurdy naturally sought independence and distance from her mother, her burgeoning celebrity status exposed her to the perils of eating disorders, alcohol addiction, self-loathing, and tumultuous relationships. Throughout the memoir, McCurdy candidly portrays Debra's abusive behavior patterns, showcasing a woman prone to rage triggered by everything from crooked eyeliner to spilled milk. Despite the cruelty, the author approaches her deeply flawed mother with a sense of compassion.
Towards the conclusion, McCurdy shares a heart-wrenching secret unveiled by her father in adulthood. While she didn't emerge unscathed from her tumultuous childhood, McCurdy transforms her harrowing experience into a powerful stage act, achieving a catharsis that brings solace to her mind, body, and acting career.
The memoir unfolds as a heartbreaking account of an emotionally battered child, narrated with captivating candor and grace, showcasing McCurdy's resilience and ability to find healing through her artistic expression.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 31 January 2024
Hailing from Los Angeles, McCurdy, alongside three older brothers, navigated a home dominated by her mother's control. At the tender age of 3, her mother faced a diagnosis of breast cancer, a battle she initially survived but one that would ultimately claim her life when the author was 21. McCurdy courageously lays bare the intervening years, delving into the depths of how "my mom emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me in ways that will forever impact me."
Debra, driven by an unrelenting desire to mold her only daughter into "Mommy's little actress," orchestrated auditions for McCurdy starting at the tender age of 6. As the author matured and secured acting roles, she found herself caught in a relentless pursuit to impress her mother, who, in turn, grew increasingly fixated on her daughter's physical appearance. The narrative unfolds to reveal a mother who, with a cruel perfectionist demeanor, subjected McCurdy to extreme measures—tinting her eyelashes, whitening her teeth, enforcing strict calorie restrictions, and conducting invasive examinations during her teenage years.
As McCurdy naturally sought independence and distance from her mother, her burgeoning celebrity status exposed her to the perils of eating disorders, alcohol addiction, self-loathing, and tumultuous relationships. Throughout the memoir, McCurdy candidly portrays Debra's abusive behavior patterns, showcasing a woman prone to rage triggered by everything from crooked eyeliner to spilled milk. Despite the cruelty, the author approaches her deeply flawed mother with a sense of compassion.
Towards the conclusion, McCurdy shares a heart-wrenching secret unveiled by her father in adulthood. While she didn't emerge unscathed from her tumultuous childhood, McCurdy transforms her harrowing experience into a powerful stage act, achieving a catharsis that brings solace to her mind, body, and acting career.
The memoir unfolds as a heartbreaking account of an emotionally battered child, narrated with captivating candor and grace, showcasing McCurdy's resilience and ability to find healing through her artistic expression.
I've never been able to read auto biographies with many sitting half read, waiting to be completed.
However I finished this in a day.
Marvellous is the wrong word given the devestating reality of this very real story. But this book was truly capturing and telling of all characters involved. It made for an empathetic, emotive book that encapsulated you for as long as you needed.
It was heavy in the story and hearty in the writing and that made for an excellent debut book.
Take aways -
Personally I read it for industry secrets, such as calorie (calorific) restriction to stunt growth and aging, and for another account of Hollywood and entertainment ind. control, corruption, abuse.
But I also took away from it the following:
Ego, inflation, narcissistic control - material possessions, hoarding, an attempt to distract oneself from death, own mortality...
I learnt a bit about the inner workings of agencies, academies, and acting classes, introductory techniques, at least for children, although it's probably quite similar to what adults are taught to do, i.e. make noises and behave like animals to loosen up.
High metabolism, very fast. Older you get the metabolism shifts where you 'only have to look at something to get fat'. Carbs and sugar convert to fat.
Net's mom is on a regime of hot tea every morning for breakfast, nothing else and nothing in the tea, and a plate of steamed vegetables every night for dinner, plain, nothing on them. Rarely lunch - sometimes a naked salad or half a chocolate chip snack bar.
I approve of the steamed vegetables and salads, but it's not enough to withstand the malnourishing abuse of tea and snack bars and it's very likely that this may have led to or contributed to her stage-four cancer diagnosis which went into remission and came back for the last time - clue is in the title, I'm Glad My Mom Died. But they do - including the meagre chocolate in the snack bars - speed up metabolism. Need protein, the building blocks of life. Not all protein is created equal, I'm sure, but protein in whatever form is a must. Theoretically, to my mind, it should help to retain youthfulness, but, from experience, may also add to or kickstart the aging / maturation process. Carbs, selective carbs, the same when it comes to youthfulness, as is highlighted in the exclusion of protein, resulting in stunted growth and potentially metabolic high speeds (depending on genetic disposition). I would imagine calorie restriction is a much greater factor than the choice of food though, and protein would be infinitely preferential over simple, refined carbohydrates, as these would definitely, provably (you only need to look around), ruin the looks and sicken the body. Striking some kind of a balance between complex carbohydrates and protein is key, perhaps panning from one to the other (if not in tandem), but proteins are integral.
Water-dense fruits, watermelon and jicama are mentioned. Cayenne and chili peppers for increasing metabolism, which makes sense; these are all things I have in my diet, and I went through a phase some years ago of eating cayenne spice directly from a plate, licking my finger and dabbing it, almost every day. I love heat, and sweating is great and purifying for the body and the skin. Coffee is mentioned, decaf (probably because they're Mormons), as an appetite suppressant, or nicotine of course, and there is something to be said for the both of these, sparingly and from quality sources, but both are stressors for the body and the metabolic system, so it depends what the goal is - to suppress appetite and weight gain or to enjoy youthfulness and good health?
Back to the book and my 'review' :
It's really screwed up reading about the micromanaging of her life and the control and invasiveness of her mother, most prominently. The narcissistic hallmarks are there. But you know, we all have narcissism in us. It's the nature of the ego - taken to its extreme conclusions, through inflation and overinflation. And this book made me contemplate further on something that was floating around my head weeks ago, months ago, which didn't really find an outlet or finished-formulation. I'm still forming this idea - these thoughts and feelings - and they are: narcissists may not be able to be trusted but they deserve pity, compassion, empathy, even if we can't get too close. They're flawed, damaged people, not monsters or demons or some such thing. I feel like they're lost-- perhaps permanently, in this life of theirs, this incarnation; their souls are trapped behind the false self, the fragile ego that overinflates, because of whatever their own experiences and traumas were, and it protects, shrouds, ultimately blots out the light of their true selves. It's very sad. I know there's not a lot of time or thought given, seemingly, in our current culture, to this possibility for understanding and compassion. From what I can tell, and I've watched quite a number of videos by Dr. Ramani and others, and own a Ramani book, they're regarded as irredeemable, inhuman. And it may be so that they are, but I feel they're in there somewhere, usurped by a personal demiurge. This book helped to bridge that gap for me, to make that connection concrete, because of the love that's at the heart of this book. Despite everything, there is a love there - from daughter to mother and from mother to daughter (and sons). It made me tearful. I didn't expect that, especially given the bold (but wry) title. There's a quote about the mother being consumed by the abyss of her brain tumor and the only thing she's able to say is 'love you'. I know there'll be conflicting feelings, for Jennette more than the average reader, as to whether this is the 'same old' - attachment - but I think the love was there, all along, it just finds inadequate expression because of the warping effect this life can have on us. In closing, I found the book to be emotionally resonant - what it feels like to be a human.
Top reviews from other countries
However, it's important to note that the book delved into some heavy topics that might be triggering for certain readers. While it was an engrossing read for me, I believe it should come with a trigger warning to ensure that potential readers are well-prepared for the emotional depth of the story.
Overall, this book struck the perfect balance between engaging storytelling and sensitivity to its content.