Help with dating, with a focus on how to get something started up, whether the goal is casual sex or a relationship. Learn how to connect with the ones you're trying to get with!
I'm newly single and I used Tinder for a while before my relationship (it's how I met my ex). Decided to try POF instead. It's been so much more difficult messaging these girls than Tinder and my conversations never get anywhere. I feel like my text game is pretty good but for some reason it just doesn't work on here. Any help would be great.
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Hm. I'm surprised to hear that. I've had much more luck on POF compared to tinder. Tinder seems to have turned into a silly game for people to just see how attractive they are and never act on it. Meanwhile, most people on POF are putting actual time into making a real profile and trying to meet people.
Beef up your profile and photos, and ask them meaningful questions in the first message that shows you took the time to look at their profile. The amount of assholes on there is incredible, so you'll be a breath of fresh air if you just be a normal person.
I can confirm this, after a POF date she showed me how many messages she had, my one was simple but stood out compared to the rest. Feel free to pm me for more info
I'd like this info as well.
Please share!
I do way better on Tinder (75%ish fclose rate out of probably 20ish dates now) and the matches are all 7+.
POF on the other hand has been really really hideous women who "want to meet me" which I find ridiculous because not to jerk myself off but I'm way out of their league. The other women who I do find attractive have insanely high expectations and want a professional model and bodybuilder who makes six figures and is a stand up comedian and they have multiple kids and/or are batshit insane.
POF blows. Tinder all day
Hey dude. I have massive success in getting dates from tinder but rarely am I able to F-close, especially on the first date. Can you walk through a typical experience you've had in meeting a new girl and getting her into bed that night? I think I'm too much of a nice guy so maybe I'm not setting the stage for sex in an obvious enough manner. Any input you might have would be helpful, thanks bro!
Well I always take them out to do something different. As in not just a coffee or a drink (but I always try and include drinks in the date). If its sunny and warm I take em out riding on my bike. I'll take em dancing a lot. Took one to a country bar and swung her around a bit. In a place like Portland Oregon where most dudes don't do country its a whole new experience for them (same with the motorcycle). Comedy clubs, jazz clubs etc and activities like pool, hiking, shooting. Just new or exciting type stuff. Not being the typical date. Just don't overdo it and try and obviously impress them from it. Most of my dates are on the cheap.
I also just ask em questions about themselves cause that's what they wanna talk about and then tease em a bit. Tell em stories about stuff I do or have done. Go to places people know me and come up and say hi. Last night at the country bar one of the bouncers is a member of my MC so I got huge social proof from that interaction, calling me by my road name was funny for her. I physically escalate but not to fast. Dancing helps MASSIVELY to break the physical barriers.
Stuff like that.
Thanks for the response! How do you usually transition from being out to going back to your/their place, and from there to getting them in bed?
Most of the time I take them home, kiss em, and they invite me in. I don't do anything duplicitous or coercive or special. Don't bring em to my place the first date either.
Women are the gatekeepers to sex. They know going in whether they were up to have sex on the first date with anyone and within 15 minutes of that date whether they are gonna do it with you.
I will say that if a girl hasn't let me kiss her by date 2 I'll move on. If there's no sex by date 4 I'll move on.
Whatever works, right? This thread shows that your mileage may vary with both services.
How attractive are you? I've had tons of conversations, but none of them go beyond the girl wanting to know she's attractive. I'm average, I would say.
Pretty attractive I've been told 8, 9. Bench 400 six pack beard motorcycle type country dude. Girl a few dates ago kept calling me american sniper and another one Thor.
Truth is that tinder is a meat market. Looks are a big deal but they don't close the deal. Half of them it takes another date or two and some I never do, usually because the girl is an awful person and I don't care how hot they are when a girls rude and/or self absorbed I lose interest
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Never said I was. Do I have to be to post here?
I mean, I once looked like Chris griffin from family guy and walked on a cane at 27 years old, and lived with my parents till 30 So I've been worse than the norm. Didn't get laid once from age 25-29.
I always thought PoF was pretty terrible. I switched to OkCupid and that's how I met my girlfriend and we've been together over a year now. I would recommend OkC, it was overall a much better experience.
However, asking them something based on something you saw on there profile is always a good thing, especially if you can work a joke in there (my first message to my gf I teased her about her talking to her cat).
POF: The most active in my area, very basic but effective, and the one i've had the most luck with.
OKCupid: MUCH better profiles, but far less girls.
Agreed. POF is cancer incarnate where I live.
Depends on location. I live in Canada, near the US border. POF separates people based on location and country, so I don't see Americans. Both Tindr and OkC are full of Americans, which makes it much harder to find anyone at all.
I didn't know that, thanks for dropping some knowledge on me
FYI, my average looking female friend was getting around 200 messages+ a week... I had a female friend without a picture up... get 100 messages a week... maybe 6 months ago at work was chatting up a pretty hot woman who said I couldn't even count how many messages i'd get a day!
Your message will likely get drowned out on POF, totally not worth the time/effort.
I actually have a successful relationship from POF. There are a lot of assholes on that site so expect a bit more effort to come out of your messages.
I met my current girlfriend using POF. It's my first and only time using an online dating site.
She caught my eye and sparked my interest while I was browsing the site publicly. To my surprise, you can actually browse people's profiles prior to even setting up an account. So I set up an account, messaged her (and only her), we went on a date the next day (she asked me out), and the following day, we both deleted our accounts.
I was a member of POF for three days, and I came out of it with the best relationship of my life thus far. She's a hot, classy RN with no baggage.
Give it a try. You have nothing to lose.
HINT: actually read their profiles and make it clear that you did.
In my city, pof is for single mothers, nurses, teachers, and other women who can't meet men due to either their job or whatever mental illness they have.
Tinder is instead for girls who are actually looking to get laid, even if they are apparently all out my league.
I've had good success with it. My girlfriend of ten months now and I met over it. Just keep trying to find ways to relate. Look over their profiles, etc.
PoF seems to be the bottom of the barrel. OKC seems to be a bit better. However, keep in mind that most people on these sites have issues. Hell, I was on there, and I was in total needy mode about 3-4 years ago. I know others who are and know them personally - all are really needy and are seeking out 'the one' (mostly girls).
After doing a decent amount of daygame, I find you can actually meet and screen girls much better. Nightgame is more for fun.. personally I find daytime approaches get better second dates and more quality people.
I've used Tinder, PoF, OkCupid, and farmersonly (just kidding about Farmers).
Anyways I started using it heavily for a month and I'm considering to delete it.
PoF is nice. The layout isn't the best. I've messaged girls on them and was about to go on a date until I got busy.
Anyways I like the concept of PoF (same with all dating apps/sights). but I never gotten success from it. Some people have, but I've not. I really want to start focusing on day game more.
Whatever works with you is good, so if you use PoF, but your friend is a day game master, then stop comparing and work with the craft you got.
I just moved to a new city and so fired up the OKC account. I've had three dates since moving here and honestly so far the best date out the bunch was the one I met off OKC. The other two were women I met in person thru social/hobby connections. I say use whatever tools you have at your disposal, just don't let the internet become a crutch. You should be able to attract women in both real life and online if you got game.
no. PoF is absolute trash.
Delete apps.
Go out, meet real women who have a life.
You are out of a relationship and your confidence is at an all time low, I understand, but none of those sex-app women would be able to reject you if you walked up to them and approached like a man.
No, your game is not good if you are resorting to internet as your only option, sorry if this hurts your ego but this is the truth.
Give me twenty (approach 20 beautiful, classy women out in the world) and tell what happened, that way we can work on your shortcomings and help strengthen them.
Fucking afc talk mate. I just got out of a 1.5 yr relationship and was too busy to go out so I jumped on tinder and fucked a new girl sat night without even meeting her once. Night game is fun but all avenues are open to meeting women. Take your limiting belief bull shit somewhere else.
Agreed. I don't get all the hate on online game. Ideally it should be a passive supplement to usual game, but if you only use it and get the results you want then I can't see anything wrong with it.
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She actually ended up paying me :p
Depends if you want to meet people by knowing a bit about them first or not. Not everyone is outgoing also, so what about girls who don't go out you might be interested in?
I'm pretty sure you get to know the real person while speaking on the internet. Like.. you could totally look at redditors' post histories and learn about them.
That's a weak sauce argument, friend. Don't give that to guys on r/seduction who wrote the book of the game, approached countless women and enjoyed them without getting catfished.
You will always and in every circumstance "get to know" about a person much better in 10 minutes in real life than you could in 1 week on the internet without communicating with her.
Words make up only 7% of our communication. Add smileys and you get 9%.
Do yourself a favor, and fake confidence until you make it. Go out and approach real women, in real life, have real interactions and real mini dates right after you said "Hey!"
I know rejection is no big deal on the internet and you can copy paste the same message to 2000 women in a day without being hurt psychologically; but it's worth doing it in real life. No pain, no gain.
Internet can sometimes complement your game. You CAN try a new line on 2000 women in an hour without having to go out. And fine tune your responses to possible reactions from women. That's it.. You won't find the woman of your life on Tinder. You won't even get laid without putting much more effort than you would at a sleazy bar.
I absolutely agree. Day game works best for me, when you get confident and approach 4 or 5 girls in a day, maybe get 1 or 2 phone numbers from that, then work on them and set up dates. This is far more satisfying than using any dating website/app. It's Ok to use them but only to supplement meeting girls in real life.
Correct. When you have the game, skills, inner state, options, memories of success and confidence from picking up the hot girl sitting at starbucks: internet girls is NOTHING to you. Just as, having mastered the club/bar game makes daygame child's play.
Here is some proof as to where you can attract girls by 2-3 words , or drawn pictures alone: http://imgur.com/jZFup4T
I didn't have my own picture, I did not type long lines or ask for sex. Just teased her drawing talent and accomplished sexual communication in hand drawn silly images. She got nude and masturbated on cam that night for me, left her 4 kids to her mom and flew over to Finland to stay with me for a week within that month. And in my book, if a woman can ignore her maternal instincts to be with you: that's some powerful fucking game :)
What is disappointing is that; we are writing long posts, answering questions and trying to help guys out there so they don't make the nice guy mistakes we have; and get on the right track quickly: They insist on being the selectee on some lame dating app , instead of being a selector, a confident, leading, non-needy real man who leave women better than he found them. Mindboggling.
It might just be the area Im from but pof is literally only gross out of shape women who usually have at least one kid looking for someone to support them. Deleted that app and haven't looked back.
Yep. There are so many "mommyofone123" usernames out there. Even the hot ones around here have kids... saw a profile for a gorgeous redhead who was ready to settle down and had 3 kids but wasn't in contact with their "sperm donor". What a waste...
POF is pretty bad. Yes - there are some decent-looking women on there but the quality is typically low. Okcupid isn't much better. If you're looking for higher-quality chicks pay to use Match.com
It's superior to OkC & POF in that people have to pay to use Match. That simple. Due to this, women receive less messages from guys and the guys are of a higher quality as they have to be able to afford to pay for Match.
Also, you'll be dealing with a higher quality of woman on Match as they have to pay to use the service; if they're paying they're more receptive to actually meeting guys.
Women get burnt out receiving 100 messages a day on POF.
POF is absolutely horrible. I'm a relatively attractive guy and I barely got responses. These girls are immensely selective
My mom and dad did pretty well on it at one time I guess. My mom is still with the dude she met on there, going on almost 7 years. As for game? I don't know. I guess I always figured POF was for people 28 and over or something. I know Tindr is super popular in people in my age range, but I don't really use it either. The thing I think when it comes to apps/sites like that, is that your phrasing and/or spelling is a big deal. Since you think yours is good, it probably isn't bad. It may depend on the girls, but keeping it short might be your friend. Being concise may let you stand out.