Synopsis
Don't Get Mad... Get Even!
A dark and humorous take on how to get revenge on those that have wronged you, hosted by Linda Blair (The Exorcist).
How to Get Revenge
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USANR
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USA
01 Jan 1989
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advises signing a dude up to the communist party and gay porn to make his wife leave him but tbh a gay communist sounds like the best boyfriend ever
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Hosted by Linda Blair with cheerful sarcasm, a satirical how-to guide for the aspiring sociopath in all of us. Styled into a parody of infomercial dreck, the humor is warmed-over deadpan, the grist (mail tampering, car vandalism, etc) either obsolete, or if you're seeking inspiration, impractical.
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The fact that Linda Blair was never named in any lawsuits as a result of this film, reaffirms my faith in humanity.
Feel good movie of my year.
September Daily Horror Hunt
Day 23. In which we watch any horror film featured on the internet review series Best of the Worst. -
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We are escorted into this masterpiece by the soothing sounds of a saxophone solo and fade in to the image of Linda Blair reading from a bible in a wood panelled room. Right away you know you’re in good hands for the next hour.
Hearing Blair say stuff like “The idea is to fill a paper bag with fresh animal droppings. The fresher the better” is proof enough that the VHS era was the golden age of family entertainment. -
"Faux" infofilm absolutely fucking drenched in wood panelling with a green screen flat screen way before its time and Linda Blair having her presence arguably wasted on this how to video on various forms of revenge, ranging from petty bollocks to downright malicious deviousness. Fake experts on various forms of vengeance throw down examples and techniques and act as currently working P.I's for some reason. Pixels cover faces and these fuckers cover mail, phone, car and vender based spite and work their weaves of sax and webs of stories all the way through immoralities and crime and right on down to forced implied suicide avenue. Dryly funny occasionally and somewhere out in the vortex enough to be palatable to the fiends, but man, I dunno. I liked it I think. Maybe. It's long for something so short.
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| The short version: Linda Blair is proof that demon possessed girls can still grow up to be productive members of society using their "experience" to contribute to the greater good.
| The also short version: I started with a giggle that soon turned into a mortified jiggle (you know the kind).
Highlights include :
-A cop suggests harming someone by spending gay or bisexual porn both at their residence and their job - (there are over 15 magazines available now)- "start some rumors," and he's sure to get fired. Well, gay porn or a commie magazine (potayto/potATo).- A Jimmy B impersonator (or is Jimmy B an impersonator of his?) gets his meal interrupted by a dude and his…
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Found this on a jontron video and the video was the most unintentionally hilarious thing I've ever seen in my life. How Linda Blair didn't get a class action lawsuit for this is beyond me but that's what makes it even funnier.
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At last! Now I know precisely how to get revenge on all those rich cupcakes who can afford dishwashers.
Thanks, Linda Blair!
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„Boy I´d have to agree. Imagine that, breaking up a marriage to the U.S. mail – amazing!“
(Linda „The Host“ Blair)Holy excrement, that's towering incredible! Ding-dong-ditches with dog droppings (take human if you don´t have a dog handy), a truthful sleazy private detective with a fag, who´s dedicated familiar with undisguised malicious joy, a nerdy prank victim with a ridiculous pony haircut and thick glasses, a senselessly rendered, female-supported police officer who gives tips on evil phone pranks and even presents a hitlist with his favourites, syphillis letters of horror, destroyed car engines caused by sugar or baking powder in the tank, one-liners of madness ...
... everything moderated by a very cheerful and easygoing Linda Blair in her… -
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In this faux documentary on the fine art of petty reprisals, Linda Blair, along with a number of "experts", guides us through the process of weaponizing the postal and telephone service, malignant auto modification as well as home deterioration.
The absolute inability to gauge proportionate response is hilarious throughout, but the thing I enjoyed most was some of the "acting" going on within these 48 minutes.
The story of getting revenge on the college cheerleader is told in such an oddly specific tone and timbre that I'd call it horrible acting, but I know at least two real people who would tell a story like that in exactly the same way...