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People criticise Sirius for that but in that moment Sirius was in a very bad place mentally and lashes out but otherwise he doesn’t do that. Similarly Lupin here is also in a very bad place, is desperate and filled with self loathing and he tries to persuade Harry by saying this is what James would have wanted.
I know he doesn’t lash out at him verbally but he of also really suffering and Harry’s scathing comments provoke him enough to jinx Harry. I don’t mean to be overly critical of either Sirius or Lupin and both are fascinating characters who went through so much trauma they never processed but both can lash out when pushed far enough and James being their best friend who they never had the space to grief can be brought up at rare times in not a good context.
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both of them trying to manipulate Harry into something using James is so??? it's a bit funny, but at the same time, you just feel sad for every single one in the situation. Sirius and Remus have such traumatic pasts that they haven't healed from.
James is such an important character who is haunting all of the books without being present. Plus, for Remus, he also saw sirius die right in front of him and is basically suicidal at that point (he was taking on reckless missions all the time). Harry did what he couldn't with Sirius. He stood up to himself and asked Remus to move on for his child!
The Marauders were a bunch of misfits united by how different their core personalities were. You have the outcast (Lupin), cowardly (Peter), and estranged (Sirius), who all look up to the spoilt (James) as their saviour.
While we will never actually know the true reason why Peter joined the Death Eaters (other than his claim of having been threatened, which makes no sense), Sirius and Lupin never outgrew their dependence on James. It's not entirely their fault either, considering the first wizarding war tore them apart and left them all with trust issues.
People criticize the characters in isolation without considering the traumas they all faced, expecting flawless character role models for Harry. The truth is, everyone is flawed, and streaks of selfishness exists in all of us. Both Sirius and Lupin never got all over their lost youth, and saw Harry as James living through him.
While Lupin learnt his lesson after Harry's haranguing, Sirius never got the chance to.
There was also that moment in PoA where he tries to shame Harry into staying inside so his parents' sacrifice isn't for naught, and meanwhile he sits on vital information about the fugitive he believes is trying to kill Harry