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Would a Rocknroll by Any Other Name Be As Rock ’n’ Roll?

Mr. Smith, née Rocknroll, née Smith, and Kate Winslet. Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images for HFA

There is no shortage of reminders that change is the only constant. Climates deteriorate, as do nations; rights are given and taken away; industries are weakened and broken and seemingly replaced with nothing. And yet while change warps reality around us, if we take a moment to consider it, we’ll notice Ecclesiastes 1:9, though at first blush incongruous, also holds: There is nothing new under the sun. Power remains with those who’ve always held it. Humanity destroys itself in its typical ways. Kate Winslet’s husband Ned Rocknroll has changed his name to Edward Abel Smith, which is actually what his name was before it was Ned Rocknroll.

C’est la vie.

If you remember, or maybe you don’t because we’re both so young, haha?, the era’s celebrity blog network caught on that Kate Winslet was palling around with billionaire Richard Branson’s cousin back in 2011. The connection was made after word got out that Kate Winslet saved Branson’s mom from a burning mansion and everyone was like, what? Once it was revealed that Kate Winslet was dating Branson’s cousin, everyone was like, oh.

But then it was revealed that his cousin was named Ned Rocknroll and everyone was like, what? And then it was revealed that Kate Winslet was actually marrying the guy called Ned Rocknroll and for a wedding present Richard Branson gave them a trip to outer space and everyone was like, wait, WHAT? But then, Ned Rocknroll is very hot, so.

Anyway, according to the Sun, via the Daily Mail, via Celebitchy, Ned has gone back to his birth name, which, again, is Edward Abel Smith. (He changed his name officially in 2008.) The switch was reportedly prompted by the fact that the couple’s son, whose name is Bear Blaze Winslet (decidedly not Bear Blaze Rocknroll, you may have noticed), recently turned 5, and they thought having a dad with a more normal name might … help him somehow, as he got older.

Here’s what a source told the Sun about it (which I am quoting from the Daily Mail, as the Sun article does not seem to be available online):

“It was always a bit of a joke. He is a very happy-go-lucky person. He never takes life that seriously but sometimes life changes and now he wants to be a bit more serious. He decided to change it back to Smith because he is now a dad and wants to set an example. Kate also felt it might be embarrassing for their child as he got older.”

My name is Bear Blaze Winslet, and my dad just used to be called Ned Rocknroll, thank you very much.

As we’ve already discussed, everything changes. And it all stays the same. The name Ned Rocknroll, you will surely be missed.

Terrible: Ned Rocknroll Changed His Name Back to Smith