Drew Barrymore is setting the record straight after a runaway news story claimed she’d said she wish her mother was dead. 

The story stems from a profile published in Vulture where she did mention her mother, Jaid Barrymore, who momagered Drew when she was a child star until, after Drew’s stint in rehab at 14, the actor was emancipated from her parents. What she actually told Vulture was this: “All their moms are gone, and my mom’s not. And I’m like, Well, I don’t have that luxury. But I cannot wait. I don’t want to live in a state where I wish someone to be gone sooner than they’re meant to be so I can grow. I actually want her to be happy and thrive and be healthy. But I have to fucking grow in spite of her being on this planet.”

In the piece, the quote arrives in the context of taped interview with Jennette McCurdy, a former child star who wrote a best-selling memoir titled, I'm Glad My Mom Died. They discussed in the interview how to write about a complicated relationship—here, their difficult mothers, who in Barrymore’s case is still alive—and Barrymore said, “Okay, I’m having an aha moment. Maybe it’s protectiveness that I feel. I’ve never put it in those terms in my head.”

The not-always-pretty nature of her mother-daughter relationship ramrodded through the tabloid machine did not sit well with Barrymore. Some headlines repurposed her words “cannot wait” to signify that she’s excited for her mom’s passing, rather than what she actually meant, which was that she can’t afford to wait to process her difficult mother-daughter relationship until after her mother is gone. The twisting inspired this chastising Instagram post:

“To all you tabloids out there, you have been fucking with my life since I was 13 years old,” she began. “I have never said that I wish my mother was dead. How dare you put those words in my mouth. I have been vulnerable and tried to figure out a very difficult, painful relationship, while admitting it is difficult to do while a parent is alive.”

“For those of us who have to figure that out in real time, [we] cannot wait. As in, they cannot wait for the time, not that the parent is dead,” she continued. “Don’t twist my words around or ever say that I wish my mother was dead. I have never said that. I never would.”

Barrymore added, “In fact, I go on to say that I wish that I never have to live an existence where I would wish that on someone. Because that is sick.”

Later in the Vulture piece, she expressed regret for her quote. “I dared to say it, and I didn’t feel good,” she said. “I do care. I’ll never not care. I don’t know if I’ve ever known how to fully guard, close off, not feel, build the wall up.”

She sent the author of the piece, E. Alex Jung, a text soon after: 

I texted my mom for her birthday

and she told me she loved me

and she was proud of me.

I don’t care how old you get

Or how big your mission is

When your mom tells you

she loves you

You revert back to small

And the fact that she loves

me with my truth

And my honesty

Is the best time I have ever

heard her say it.