Dildos are one of the most popular sex toys on the planet, and for good reason. They’re a dependable and pleasurable way to have explosive orgasms and can be used by people of any gender or sexuality. In fact, people have been using dildos for thousands of years. Recently a stone phallus was discovered in Germany and is estimated to be 28,000 years old! From there, dildos have been mentioned throughout history, from ancient China, Greece, and the Roman Empire.
The word “dildo” comes from the Italian word “diletto” which translates to delight, and that is just what these toys do. They are sex toys that can be used for penetration of the vagina or anus, are made from a large selection of materials, and are usually phallic-shaped. They’re great for solo play, couples can use dildos together, and some such as double dongs can be used by a couple simultaneously for even more fun.
Types of Dildos
Everyone should have a dildo in their sexual toolbox, so it’s important to know what types are available to you. Below is a list of the most popular types of dildos along with a brief explanation so you can find one that is right for you.
- Realistic Dildos: Realistic dildos are molded to look and feel like actual penises and provide all the details you’re looking for. From natural looking veins, sculpted heads, and hefty balls, they offer the most life-like experience possible. And since no penis is the same, they’re the perfect option if you’re looking to explore something different. Realistic dildos offer a wide variety of sizes and features. Some are curved, others are straight, there are uncut rods, vibrating dildos and dildos that let you explore your double penetration fantasies. There are even squirting dildos that ejaculate on command.
- Huge Dildos: You’ve heard the phrase “Go Big or Go Home,” well giant dildos allow you to do just that. Fit for a size queen, these toys are for those who like a bit of advanced sexual play. And since they normally start at sizes ranging from 9” and upward, you definitely want to use plenty of lube and start slowly.
- Glass Dildos: Glass dildos are non-flexible, firm, and often have textured shafts for extra thrills and to hold onto lube. These dildos can be heated and cooled for extra stimulation through temperature play. With proper care, glass dildos can last a lifetime.
- Strap-Ons: When you want to thrust those hips and penetrate your partner, the strap-on is the first thing that comes to mind. Most people will immediately think of a dildo and harness, but strap-ons have come a long way. There is still a wide variety of strap-ons where a dildo is fitted into a set of straps via an “O” ring. The straps go around the waist and are adjustable. However, now there are thigh harnesses, panties that allow you to attach a dildo, and even strapless strap-ons. These beauties slip inside the vagina of the penetrator to hold it in place, allowing both of you to feel amazing sensations.
- Vibrating Dildos: Get your buzz on with a vibrating dildo. Typically phallic shaped, these stimulating wonders tend to have remote controls or a twist base that let you dial up the pleasure.
- Suction Cup Dildos: These dildos feature suction-cups on the base that allow them to stick to any smooth, flat surface making them perfect for hands-free solo play.
- Double Dildos: Double the fun, and pleasure, with these extra-long dildos. The added length allows for deep penetration or even double penetration thanks to their flexible nature. However, they are most often used with a partner for simultaneous thrusting. (I.e., vagina and vagina, vagina and anus, or anus and anus.)
Getting Ready to Play
Whether you are new to dildos, or an old pro, you want to have the best possible experience when it comes to sexual playtime, and it all starts with setting the mood.
Start out by making sure your dildo is clean and ready to go. Then find a quiet and comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed. Ignite your other senses by lighting a candle or turning on some music. Then turn your attention to touch.
Warm yourself up by running your hands over your body and pampering other areas such as the nipples and breasts, running your fingers along your inner thighs, or rubbing the clitoris or stroking the penis. You may also want to first penetrate yourself with fingers or a small vibrator, just make sure to always use lube.
Once you feel like you’re ready, you can then devote your full attention to playing with your dildo.
Best Ways to Masturbate with a Dildo
Every body is different, and everyone knows what feels best for them, but there are also some tried and true techniques to help you achieve amazing orgasms.
- Thrusting: This is pretty straightforward. However, instead of just moving the dildo in and out, try different speeds and depths to add variety.
- Hands-free (Note: for suction cup dildos): When you want to leave your hands free for exploring other areas, stick your dildo to a flat surface for effortless thrusting. You can go at your own pace and control how deep you want to take your toy.
- G-Spot (Or P-Spot) Stimulation: Some curved dildos are designed to target your inner hot spot. Think of it as a heat seeking pleasure missile. Once it’s locked in on that pleasure zone stroke it with your toy or make a small circular motion while experimenting with pressure and speed. Just do what feels best.
- Playing with the Tip: You don’t always have to achieve full penetration to achieve full pleasure. Experiment with just using the tip of the dildo to tease yourself. Try a slow then fast pace or shallow then full strokes.
- Rotation: Since dildos are so lifelike, put a twist on your masturbation routine by twisting the dildo as you work it in and out. Or try a dildo that has a rotating feature already built in.
- Anal: Dildos are great for backdoor play as well, and most anal dildos will feature a flared base so that the toy doesn’t slip in too far. And like traditional vaginal play, you can thrust, rotate, go hands free or put the fun in your partner’s hands and let them take control. Plus, anal play isn’t just for women. Men can enjoy backdoor fun as well. Just make sure to use plenty of lube. The anus does not have natural lubrication, so this is an absolute must-have for your pleasure, comfort, and safety.
Dildo Positions for Solo Play
If you’re using a dildo by yourself, there are three popular positions that are perfect for solo play although feel free to always use your imagination and experiment.
- Missionary: This is probably the easiest position for masturbating with a dildo. Simply lie on your back and spread your legs. If you are using the dildo anally, try putting a pillow underneath to provide a better and more comfortable angle for penetration.
- Face Down: Lay on your belly or get up on all fours like you’re about to engage in doggy style. You can either reach upward through your legs or over your backside to thrust and work your dildo. It really depends on your comfort, flexibility and reach.
- Riding or Straddling (for suction cup toys): The best thing about dildos is many come with a suction cup on the bottom. This allows you to stick the dong to any clean, smooth surface. What does this mean for you? Hands free play! Try sticking it to a toilet seat, floor, or sturdy bench and ride ‘em cowgirl. Or stick it to the wall or shower wall and back up on it. Meanwhile, your hands are free to caress your breast or play with your clitoris for added stimulation and pleasure.
Using a Dildo with a Partner
While it’s important to have a little “me time,” dildos are also a great sex toy for partner play. They’re perfect for heating things up in the bedroom, strengthening the intimate bond between couples, and opening lines of communication by allowing partners to express what feels good for them. Below are some tips on how to incorporate dildos into foreplay and sex.
- Use Dildos During Foreplay: Foreplay is a perfect time to introduce sex toys into the mix, and dildos are no exception. To heighten the anticipation, try running a smaller dildo over her breasts, trailing it down her body, teasing her inner thighs, then inserting it while in a deep kiss. Experiment with different thrusting techniques, speeds, and depths so when it’s time for actual lovemaking she’s ready for the real thing and you have an idea of what turns her on. The same goes for men.
- Strap-on Sex & Pegging: Most people think of strap-on sex as being between two females, and most often that is the case. However, many heterosexual couples are discovering “pegging.” This allows the woman to take control while penetrating her man. Stimulating the male prostate can lead to mind-blowing male orgasms, so if he’s adventurous and open minded, it’s time to give those role-reversal fantasies a try.
- Dual Penetration: Some dildos contain two appendages to mimic the feeling of double penetration. This is a perfect choice for those seeking the feeling of a “three-way” without actually having to have a third person involved. However, the most common dildo for dual penetration is the double dong. People of different sexes and orientation turn to this trusty toy to allow them the benefit of simultaneous pleasure. Whether you’re using the dildo vagina to vagina, vagina to anus, or anus to anus, try the scissor position or go butt to butt for the deepest sensations.
Tip: if you are going to be sharing dildos, especially if you have a new partner or you are going to be with multiple partners, it’s always good to use a condom on your toy between partners. Not only does it make your dildo easier to clean, it also helps protect against STDs.
Taking Care of Your Toy
Dildos can be a big investment, not to mention a new best friend. That’s why it’s important to take care of your toy so it can “take care” of you.
Before using your dildo, carefully inspect it for any tears or defects, and give it a quick clean. This ensures that any lint, dust, or bacteria that may have gotten onto the toy doesn’t get into you and cause irritation or infection.
When playtime is over, cleaning your dildo again is probably the single most important thing when it comes to care, so it’s essential to do so immediately after each and every use.
To clean your dildo, use warm water and an antibacterial soap. Thoroughly wipe and rinse, making sure if your toy uses batteries to avoid getting that area wet. Another option is to use an antibacterial sex toy cleaner. Rubbing alcohol can also be used to cleanse plastic dildos.
Once your sex toys are clean and dry it’s time to store them. It’s recommended that they be wrapped individually in either a lint free material such as linen, or a velvet storage bag. Many materials do not mix well with each other and can actually end up destroying or damaging your toy. This is especially true with silicone. Never store a silicone toy with another silicone toy. The result will be a slow disintegration and you’ll end up with a misshapen and unusable toy.
If your dildo is made of Cyberskin, always make sure to use talcum powder after cleaning to maintain your toy’s unique feel.
If your toy is battery operated, remove the batteries before storing if you don’t plan on using it in the following week. Batteries can corrode and ruin your toy, or your toy can accidentally turn on and not be ready when you are. It’s also important to always use the right battery for your toy.
With just a little bit of cleaning, maintenance and proper care, your favorite dildo will be around for years to come.
About the Author
Dr. Jenni Skyler, PhD, LMFT and CST is a certified therapist, sexologist, and a licensed marriage and family therapist with a Doctorate in Clinical Sexology and a Master of Education in Counseling Psychology and Marriage & Family Therapy. Dr. Jenni has been Adam & Eve’s in-house expert since 2018, helping our customers better understand how sex, and sex toys, can benefit them emotionally and physically. Learn more about her.
