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I demand a lot from myself, but also from my spouse. At a young age I figured out that I love to work. I also figured out that being in a traditional marriage with a man that had traditional or outdated ideas on women’s roles would not work for me. I sought to find a man that would support me and appreciate my ambitious personality. When we met neither of us had a penny, but over 11 years in our partnership we have built a lot.
Jacob Morgan, has always invested, coached and pulled me up with him, to help me build my own seven figure speaking and content business. We have a COVID baby (a baby that was born during COVID) Noah who is nine months old, and a daughter Naomi who is four years old. We divide the domestic tasks 50/50 - although it’s not a perfect science - but not only has he supported my career, but he changes diapers, gets up with me with the baby, and is always happy to take our kids so I can have me time or focus on my career. I remember the first time I left our daughter to do a keynote in Australia, I cried when we put her to sleep. But it soon became clear that when I left, our daughter was just fine - dad was completely capable of being the sole parent.
I could have the best of both worlds, I could focus on something I love - my career - and also ensure my children have the best at home. But it took me leaving, and it still takes me physically removing myself even now - to make room for Jacob to do his part. It is not perfect at all, but with our marriage it would not work if he did not support me at work and at home. And when I get to build my career I am a happier woman, better mom and spouse. That said, on International Women’s Day we also need to recognize the dads that enable their spouses to achieve great things by doing their share at home - which matters a great deal.
Growing up, young girls are often told they can “have it all”—the great career, the well-behaved kids, the doting spouse and the happy home.
But as reality sets in, women realize it’s nearly impossible to have it all without making sacrifices. Even when they work outside the home, the majority of home management and parenting still lands on women. That’s where having a supporting spouse becomes incredibly important.
A supportive spouse leads to greater marital stability. Research has found that when husbands provide their working wives with high levels of support, including helping with household tasks and childcare, marriages are much more stable than marriages with women in higher status positions without spousal support.
And having a supportive spouse makes a difference in career success. Research from the Harvard Business Review found that for every standard deviation increase in a spouse’s conscientiousness, a person will earn $4,000 more a year on average.
Remarkable women have found career success on their own, but when they have the support of a husband and partner, they can often more easily manage their many responsibilities and impact the world. Women are stepping into the light to lead and inspire, and men are doing their part to support and take care of things at home.
In light of International Women’s Day, here are 20 stories of men who support their working spouses.
Lloyd Bean for Ursula Burns, Former CEO of Xerox
Aside from grit and determination, it takes a strong support system to become the first Black female CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Ursula Burns, former CEO of Xerox, credits much of her success to her husband, Lloyd Bean, who was 20 years her senior. While Burns was rising up the corporate ladder, Bean stayed home with their two daughters. She says this: "You should find a great partner. Man, woman, whatever it is — you have to find a good one."
Doug Emhoff for Kamala Harris, Vice President of the United States
Kamala Harris recently made history as the first female vice president and brings with her another historic first—her husband, Doug Emhoff, serves as the country’s first second gentleman. Harris and Emhoff met when both already had established successful careers, her as a lawyer and politician and he as an entertainment lawyer. As the 2020 presidential race drew closer, Emhoff knew he had to take a step back so his wife could shine. He took a leave of absence from his law firm during the campaign and officially left once Harris was elected. Emhoff was frequently seen on the campaign trail alongside his wife. In preparing for his new role, Emhoff researched former second ladies to find a way to fulfill his new duties and support his wife.
Terry Dillon for Mary Dillon, CEO of Ulta Beauty
As Mary Dillon was building her career and moving from prominent positions at McDonald’s and Quaker, her husband Terry quit his job as a biochemist to stay home with their four children. She has been vocal about the importance of his support and the value of finding time for family activities. Now that their children are grown, Terry regularly joins Mary as she visits Ulta stores around the country.
Tremayne Carr for Julia Collins, Founder of Zume Pizza
Julia Collins’ partner Tremayne has a Google alert on her to find out stories about her, often before she sees them. When she has a public meeting or speaking engagement, Tremayne rearranges his schedule to be there and support her and regularly works from home to care for their son when she is working. Collins says he is the first romantic partner she’s had who truly wants her to be a rockstar.
Stan Zlotsky for Tatyana Zlotsky, CMO of A Place For Moms
Working moms understand the struggle of having sick kids. As vice president at American Express, Tatyana Zlotsky’s days were full of meetings and responsibilities. But then her two young sons caught viruses every week for six months, forcing her to take time off to take care of them. Tatyana’s husband Stan agreed to be fully responsible for taking the boys to the doctor. The arrangement meant Stan had to start working from home some days, but it created a smoother home life for the entire family.
Mark Rometty for Ginni Rometty, Former CEO of IBM
Ginni Rometty’s husband, Mark, is famously private with his personal life. He is a principal investor in an oil company and chose his career path because it gave him flexibility to support his wife’s career growth. Early in her career when Ginni was faced with a big job offer she was hesitant to accept, it was Mark who pushed her towards it, noting that a man wouldn’t waffle in the face of the opportunity.
Michael Feldman for Savannah Guthrie, Anchor at the Today Show
Anchoring the Today Show requires early mornings for Savannah Guthrie and the support of her husband, Michael Feldman. During the pandemic, the couple has had to rearrange their work schedules and work together to support their two young children. Feldman gets the kids going in the morning and set up on virtual school while Guthrie is at work and is her biggest supporter of her career as a reporter and as a mom.
Dave Goldberg for Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook
As a vocal advocate for women in the workplace, Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg has said that picking a spouse, especially one who splits housework, is a woman’s most important career choice. She followed that advice with her own husband, Dave Goldberg. Although Dave had his own successful career as CEO of SurveyMonkey, he was an equal partner and viewed his and Sandberg’s careers as equal. Together, they made decisions for their futures, raised their two children and pitched in around the house. She wrote her groundbreaking book “Lean In: Women, Work and the Will To Lead,” that many women all over the world read and were impacted by, including the woman writing this column. The unfortunate and untimely passing of Dave when he was so young was devastating for Sheryl, but she processed it by writing her book “Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy” to help others who lose a loved one. Sheryl has found love in a new relationship with Tom Bernthal which shows that life goes on, and even in grief we can find strength, persevere and rebuild.
President Barack Obama for Michelle Obama, Former First Lady
Former First Lady Michelle Obama calls her marriage to Barack a “seesaw marriage” with them each taking turns to step back and support the other at various points in their career. Michelle put her law career on hold to be the first lady, and now it’s Barack’s turn. He is her biggest cheerleader in her new endeavors, regularly sings her praises and is happy to sit back and let her shine.
Desmond Pieri for Jules Pieri, Founder and CEO of the Daily Grommet
Jules Pieri calls the early days of parenting three young sons and two working parents a "ballet" with constantly moving pieces. To be successful, Jules and her then-husband Desmond were in constant communication about their schedules and responsibilities, from travel plans to family dinners. In those early days of building a company, Desmond's support helped Jules thrive in her organization.
Tony Quintos for Karen Quintos, CMO of Dell
Karen Quintos and her husband Tony know that building two successful careers requires compromise and unwavering support. When the two were both in major roles at Merck and Citibank, respectively, Tony commuted back and forth between New York and Tampa. Eventually, the family decided to simplify, and Karen followed Tony to Citibank. But a few years later it was Tony’s turn to follow Karen, and he joined her at Dell. But as their children grew older, Tony stepped in to stay home with their teenagers. Karen credit’s Tony’s support and flexibility as key to her success.
George Clooney for Amal Clooney, Attorney
Before marrying George Clooney and being thrust into the spotlight, Amal Clooney was an accomplished lawyer. She has maintained her career and recently released a 1,000-page legal text titled The Right to a Fair Trial In International Law. Amal wrote the book as she travelled around the world to her husband’s filming locations, but she says he was her biggest support during the long and draining process, often encouraging and inspiring her on long writing days.
Pete Paphides for Caitlin Moran, Author
When they first had children, author Caitlin Moran and her husband Pete Paphides tried to split childcare duties as evenly as possible. But as is common with WFH mothers, the majority of it still fell to Moran, who was writing a book in her head as she nursed babies and changed diapers. When their daughter turned one, Paphides began working from home so he could have a more flexible schedule and allow Moran to put her book on paper. Her resulting book, How to Be a Woman, is all about feminism, and Moran notes the irony that it couldn’t have existed without the support of a man.
Joe Nosofsky for Laurie Siegel, Board Director of Lumen and Factset
As Laurie Siegel’s career was advancing and she took over HR at Tyco International, her husband Joe quit his job at AT&T to stay home with their two school-age daughters. It was a rough transition for the family at first, but Joe soon stepped into the role, learned to cook and started preparing weeknight dinners for the family. Even now, with Laurie in a less demanding job and their adult daughters not living at home, Joe continues to cook for his wife.
Benjamin Stauffer for Jennifer Hyman, Co-Founder and CEO of Rent the Runway
Jennifer Hyman has been vocal about the support of her husband, saying that she wouldn’t be able to do as much or focus as well without a partner doing their equal share of parenting. Hyman has two young children and runs a billion-dollar company. Her husband Benjamin Stauffer has been by her side as her company hit huge milestones during her pregnancy. That support has encouraged Hyman to create equal pay and benefits for all male and female employees.
Noah Baumbach for Greta Gerwig, Director
Celebrated movie director Greta Gerwig’s romantic partner knows exactly the process and difficulty of directing a feature film. Noah Baumbach has his own successful directing career—the two were even pitted against each other during a recent award’s season. But because they work in the same field, Baumbach understands Gerwig’s process. When she is on set, he frequently travels to spend weekends and as much time as possible with her. He is vocal in his support for her movies and is her biggest cheerleader.
Dennis Troper for Susan Wojcicki, CEO of YouTube
Susan Wojcicki and her husband Dennis Troper have been married more than 20 years and have five children. They have always been united in how they run their household and balance their careers. With Troper’s support, Wojcicki has excelled and taken career risks. She is a vocal advocate for paid family leave and prioritizes her own work-life balance.
Alan Strack for Stefanie Strack, Founder and CEO of Voice In Sport
A common argument between Stefanie Strack, founder and CEO of Voice In Sport, and her husband Alan is over who does the laundry. Neither one of them like the task, but it’s crucial for their family of four. Prior to her current position, Stefanie was CEO of Rag & Bone. With her demanding schedule, Alan stepped up to do the laundry for the family, even as he was launching his film art business. Even taking over one small chore took a load off Stefanie and showed Alan’s support.
Sam Natapoff for Alexandra Stanton, CEO of Empire Global Ventures
Alexandra Stanton and her husband Sam Natapoff run their family like a business as equal partners. Each Sunday, the couple meets without their children or any distractions to discuss issues before and to plan the coming week. They check in on the previous week and make assignments to keep the family and their careers moving forward smoothly. The regular communication keeps the couple working together and contributing to the household.
Todd Gendreau for Liz Gendreau, Chief Mom Officer
Liz Gendreau has spent her career in IT management and is known online as the Chief Mom Officer. Gendreau has been the primary breadwinner since shortly after her and her husband got married. Her husband Todd has been incredibly supportive of her career and stays home with their three boys, even as he faces judgements as a stay-at-home dad. Gendreau says her husband has been her biggest supporter and is proud of her success.
These supportive husbands and partners understand that women are powerful and can make a difference in the world. As they support their working wives, they give women more space to shine.
Blake Morgan is a customer experience futurist, keynote speaker and the author of the bestselling book The Customer Of The Future. Sign up for her weekly newsletter here.
