Dear Abby: Husband's secret life as a serial cheater revealed

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 23 years. About a year ago, our 22-year-old daughter became suspicious that her dad might be having an affair. She found out it was true through his text messages. When we sat down as a family and discussed it, at first he denied it. He got upset to the point that he told our daughter to leave the house, which she did for two weeks. We asked her to come back after my husband and I talked to work things out and I took him to confession. We later all went away for a vacation together. 

Some time has passed, and I looked at his phone and saw he's been at it again, this time with a 30-year-old woman who lives here, and another one in another state. When I told him I knew, he denied it. Recently, I've been going to counseling. I need advice.

— SUSPICIOUS IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR SUSPICIOUS: By now it should be apparent that your husband cannot or will not stop womanizing and lying to you. I'm glad you are seeing a licensed therapist, because you need to decide rationally whether the situation you're living with is one you are willing to tolerate. You should also schedule an appointment with your doctor to be tested for STDs, and one with an attorney to find out what your rights are as a wife of 23 years in New Jersey. After that, you will have a clearer idea of what to do.

DEAR ABBY: I met this guy online three months ago. He's the greatest guy I have ever met. He respects me in ways no other man has respected me, and I appreciate that about him so much. I feel like I may be in love with him, but I don't know if that's the case or if it's because I'm alone and vulnerable and want someone to love me back. I was never close with my biological father or my adoptive father, so some of this may be "daddy issues." Should I tell him how I feel about him, or is it way too soon?

— TAKEN BY HIM IN MICHIGAN

DEAR TAKEN: It would be more prudent to wait until you are sure about your feelings for this guy before declaring your love. Slow down. Let the relationship evolve until you are sure about your motivations. If you do, he may beat you to the punch. 

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem. I'm 8 and I want a dog, but my parents won't let me have one. The last time we had a dog, I left the door open and it got run over. I feel really sad and bad about it, but I want another dog. Even though it was an accident, my parents don't trust me. How can I show them I'm responsible enough and I won't forget to close the door again?

— REALLY WANTS A DOG IN SACRAMENTO

DEAR REALLY WANTS: Please accept my sympathy for your loss. Because you didn't mention how long ago your dog was lost, I will assume it is fairly recent. You might be able to regain your parents' trust if you begin accepting responsibilities at home. Do they want you to make your bed, keep your room neat, help in the kitchen or the yard? Shouldering these kinds of responsibilities can show parents you are ready for more ... like caring for a pet, for instance. I wish you luck.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married 47 years. Since she retired from her job, she has become addicted to her DVR. She records everything she can think of to watch "later." She has shows she recorded from last year but hasn't watched, and they take up 90% of her DVR disc. She uses only about 10% for new shows that she watches to make room for other programs. So, every night, we have to watch what she has recorded that day to make room for the next day's recordings. 

If I say anything about it, she gets very upset and it causes tension. I don't mind some of the shows, but there aren't that many I will spend time watching. I wish there was a support group for husbands of women who are addicted to their DVRs so we could understand what's going on in their heads. How should I deal with the problem?

— SAVED FOR LATER IN TEXAS

DEAR SAVED: If there is a support group for husbands of compulsive wives, I am not aware of it. The solution may be to inform your wife that she can now stream many of the shows she's been saving on the DVR. A compromise might be viewing ONE of the archived programs a night in addition to the new ones, if possible. However, if she's not agreeable, consider buying yourself your own television set. That way, you are not obligated to watch anything you don't wish to. 

DEAR ABBY: I was offered a beach condo. I invited my friend "Sara," then another and another. These women had heard of each other, but didn't really know each other. I assumed we could all have a great time. When I told Sara I had invited others, she backed out! 

It has been three months, and she has refused all invitations to get together. We used to talk daily and see each other weekly. I have apologized. How do I get Sara to forgive me for not having given her a "heads up" before inviting the others? Was what I did so bad that she would end a long friendship?

— MISSING HER IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR MISSING: No. I suspect Sara may have other reasons for taking 10 steps back, and inviting others to join you was the straw that broke the camel's back. Was she jealous? Did she need time alone with you to confide in you? Have you been able to discuss with her the reason for her extreme reaction? It might save the relationship if you could find out. However, if Sara's unwilling to talk about it, perhaps you should consider yourself lucky to have seen this punitive side of her so YOU can step back.

DEAR ABBY: What is the proper response when someone tells you their relative is going into hospice? "Congratulations, that's wonderful" doesn't seem right. But "I'm so sorry" doesn't seem appropriate either, since hospice is an affirmative action often welcomed by the person who is ill. I would appreciate your thoughts.

— CORRECT RESPONSE

DEAR CORRECT: An appropriate response would be, "I'm sorry to hear this. But if it means the end of your loved one's suffering, it's the right decision."