Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Blasted’ on Netflix, a Norwegian Alien Invasion Action-Comedy That’s Just Edgar Wright Lite

Netflix movie Blasted is about five dudes at a weekend bachelor party, but the title doesn’t refer to what happens when they do too many tequila shots. No, this is a sci-fi flick offering us ray guns and aliens, running and shooting, and jokes, in what is hopefully a high-larious mashup of genres. A real-life mystery – the not-quite-explained floating lights often seen in Norway’s Hessdalen valley – is the basis of a story about doofuses stumbling over an alien invasion; thankfully, two of those doofuses are former laser tag champions, surely a heretofore impractical skill that can finally be put to good use.

BLASTED: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

The Gist: HESSDALEN: a remote woodsy area in central Norway. Not much happens there, except the strange phenomena of floating green light-globs that locals theorize are of extraterrestrial origin – or maybe there’s a totally logical scientific explanation for it? The movie gives us an answer right away, as we see the globs take over the brains of a scientist and a YouTuber. Cut to: Sebastian (Axel Boyum), a small-time hedge-fund manager nervously preparing a presentation. His buddies Pelle (Eirik Hallert), a weirdo in goofy clothes, and Audun (Mathias Luppichini), a weirdo in a tidy suit, interrupt to tell him they’re throwing a surprise bachelor party for him. They’ll hang out in a cabin in Hessdalen and get wild and crazy playing board games! I guess this is what happens when you’re 5,000 miles from Vegas, and too many bachelor-party movies have been set in Vegas.

Wild card No. 1: Sebastian’s investment pitch to rich guy Kasper (Andre Sorum) bombs, and, out of desperation, and rather improbably, he invites Kasper, a man who says he likes his “balls tickled,” to the party. Even more improbably, Kasper agrees. And now the pressure’s on to entertain the Kasper, who I think with the “balls” comment was implying that he’d prefer strippers and booze to jigsaw puzzles and Pass the Pigs. Wild card No. 2: Sebastian’s fiance surprises him by inviting Mikkel (Fredrik Skogsrud) to the party. Seb and Mikkel were once crowned Europe’s greatest laser tag duo, with their photo in the newspaper and everything. Seb has moved on, and looks down on Mikkel for being an adult who still plays laser tag with 12-year-olds. So there’s tension between them, especially when Mikkel packs his tag gear for the Hessdalen excursion.

It goes poorly. Kasper shows up with a furry bear onesie that Sebastian feels obligated to wear for the rest of the movie. Audun tries to fire everyone up for an INSANE private tour of the observatory. Mikkel can’t go anywhere without his laser pistol. Pelle wears a dumb hat. Kasper doesn’t seem any closer to committing to an investment deal. They decide to play paintball at a nearby course, and that’s when they notice the locals, especially the ones with mullets, are acting funny: They have a green glow in their eyes, act like homicidal-maniac zombies and sure seem to be killing people. A nearby bored and very pregnant cop, Hjordis (Ingrid Bolso Berdal), gets involved. During an altercation, Mikkel takes aim with his laser pistol and zaps the green globule right out of a human’s head, which is an act of kismet if I’ve ever seen one.

What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: Edgar Wright is a touchstone for Blasted director Martin Sofiedal: The wacky boys-club camaraderie and genre spoofing are straight outta Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, and especially The World’s End.

Performance Worth Watching: Luppichini is the funniest member of the cast, playing the dweeb among many doofuses who’s a wisp of a character but enjoys a few medium-effective smirk-inducing moments.

Memorable Dialogue: “Strictly speaking, they are armed. Ish.” – Hjordis makes a laser tag joke

Sex and Skin: None.

Our Take: It’s hard to get too fired up about Blasted, an amiable enough comedy whose primary failing is trying too hard. Trying too hard to be funny, trying too hard to be spoofy, trying too hard to be the Norwegian Edgar Wright. Sofiedal arranges a collection of “funny” character types, drops them into an intensely silly plot, contrives a scenario to resolve that plot and works his ass off to get to that scenario, which you won’t be surprised to learn calls upon two of the principal characters to get their old skills out of mothballs and use them for the sake of all humankind. NO SPOILERS of course, not that you couldn’t see everything coming from a mile away.

Predictability isn’t always lead weight around a movie’s ankles, however. If the characters do and say funny, unpredictable things in the course of fulfilling their crashingly obvious destinies, it goes a long way toward comedy salvation. But Blasted is content to be, at best, mildly amusing, and at worst, wearisome once the movie passes the 90-minute mark, and we check our watches and realize there’s nearly another half-hour of too-goofy-for-its-own-good vaguely spirited nonsense to go. Sofiedal throws in quickie Fargo and Kill Bill nods, indulges Body Snatchers and zombie tropes, kindles some half-assed emotional buddy-bonding moments and calls it good. It’s not good. It’s not bad, either. It’s fine, which isn’t quite enough. Wright’s early movies were lively satires of his favorite genres, and Blasted apes his tone and style so thoroughly, it feels like a parody of a satire. That’s one irony too many.

Our Call: SKIP IT. Blasted lacks a distinctive voice, and therefore struggles to bring its sci-fi, comedy and action fully to life.

John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Read more of his work at johnserbaatlarge.com.

Stream Blasted on Netflix