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Barry Sonnenfeld, Call Your Mother: Memoirs of a Neurotic Filmmaker Hardcover – March 10, 2020

by Barry Sonnenfeld (Author)

4.3 876 ratings

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**A New York Times Editor's Choice selection!**

This outrageous and hilarious memoir follows a film and television director’s life, from his idiosyncratic upbringing to his unexpected career as the director behind such huge film franchises as The Addams Family and Men in Black.

Barry Sonnenfeld's philosophy is, "Regret the Past. Fear the Present. Dread the Future." Told in his unmistakable voice, Barry Sonnenfeld, Call Your Mother is a laugh-out-loud memoir about coming of age. Constantly threatened with suicide by his over-protective mother, disillusioned by the father he worshiped, and abused by a demonic relative, Sonnenfeld somehow went on to become one of Hollywood's most successful producers and directors.

Written with poignant insight and real-life irony, the book follows Sonnenfeld from childhood as a French horn player through graduate film school at NYU, where he developed his talent for cinematography. His first job after graduating was shooting nine feature length pornos in nine days. From that humble entrée, he went on to form a friendship with the Coen Brothers, launching his career shooting their first three films.

Though Sonnenfeld had no ambition to direct, Scott Rudin convinced him to be the director of The Addams Family. It was a successful career move. He went on to direct many more films and television shows. Will Smith once joked that he wanted to take Sonnenfeld to Philadelphia public schools and say, "If this guy could end up as a successful film director on big budget films, anyone can." This book is a fascinating and hilarious roadmap for anyone who thinks they can't succeed in life because of a rough beginning.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"[Sonnenfeld's] moments of self-effacement...make him an ideal tour guide through the vagaries and hypocrisies of the entertainment industry.... He catalogs his own anxieties at length, sometimes to exorcise them and sometimes to fetishize them.... It is thrilling to ride shotgun."―David Itzkoff, The New York Times

"If I went to prison, and I saw that Barry Sonnenfeld was going to be my cellmate, I would think, 'Oh, this will be a breeze.'"―Jerry Seinfeld

"The extraordinary thing about Barry is how many truly strange and amazing chapters he's had in his life."―Neil Patrick Harris

"Writing a book this sharp, [Sonnenfeld is] puncturing the myth of the Director as God....A wild account of his life and times....Here we have not only a new entrant in the movie-director memoir genre but an even rarer beast: a book by someone in the entertainment industry who is neither self-aggrandizing nor self-important but uniquely, and painfully, candid."―The Wall Street Journal

"Hilarious."―Ryan Seacrest, "Live with Kelly and Ryan"

“An engaging storyteller…. In his memoir, Sonnenfeld is both hilarious and tragic…. Somehow the combination works: Sonnenfeld’s breezy style engages us and makes us believe, as Will Smith has joked, that if Barry Sonnenfeld can be a director, anyone can.”―Jeremy Hobson, NPR's "Here and Now"

"Barry's memoir is amazingly honest and brazenly hilarious. Now excuse me, I need to take a shower and try to get some of those images out of my head."―Cheryl Hines

"Sonnenfeld's autobiography is laced with funny, sometimes absurd, moments.―WBUR

"Anyone who has encountered Barry for any length of time has wondered how he came to be the way he is. The answer is hilariously, poignantly, and forthrightly told through various stories that resulted in me feeling nauseous, laughing out loud, blushing, and repeatedly saying under my breath, 'Oh my God, Barry.' Sometimes all of those things at once."―Allison Williams

"Barry Sonnenfeld's memoir is not unlike many of his films. It's an incredible story about an unlikely hero. There is action, adventure, comedy, horror-and just a little bit of porn."―Kelly Ripa

"Hilarious, full of heart, and there are no typos."
―Max Greenfield

"I couldn't put it down."
―Marc Maron

"The most purely enjoyable memoir I've ever read. The content of this neurotic genius's life is fascinating, complimented by his rare gift of storytelling."
―Patrick Warburton

"Exactly everything a good memoir should be."―Audible Editorial

"Outrageous and hilarious...written with poignant insight and real-life irony."―KATU AM Northwest

"Very funny...Told in his unmistakable voice."―WAMC

"A neurotic, revelatory treat...[Sonnenfeld] spins eye-opening yarns....It's brutally honest...memorable and hilarious."
―HollywoodInToto.com

"His utter lack of sentiment when it comes to his achievements makes for a tonic against the typical showbiz-dreamer's success story. It is also a very, very funny book....Sonnenfeld is a portraitist with an ironic sense of humour some would call quintessentially Jewish, and he can't help but find the humanity and hilarity in the horrorshows...uniquely insightful."―Film Freak Central

"Hilarious."―Atlanta Jewish Times

"An extremely Jewy memoir."―Jewish Telegraphic Agency

"Funny, wry, and thoroughly entertaining memoir. Sonnenfeld is, above all, a storyteller."―Bookpage

"A candid, sometimes dark, entertaining, anecdotal trip down memory lane from a Hollywood icon."―Booklist

"Sonnenfeld makes his debut as a memoirist with a brisk, funny recounting of his improbable rise to fame in the movie world...Zesty anecdotes about family, marriage, and fatherhood combine with Hollywood gossip to make for an entertaining romp."―Kirkus Reviews

"The voice of Barry Sonnenfeld, Call Your Mother is one for this moment...chock full of humor and pathos."―The Jewish News

"A very engaging read."―Everyday Decisions with Jo Firestone

"His powers of exposition are impressive....This is both a serious and a comical book--sort of like Sophie's Choice, only funnier."―The East Hampton Star

"Sonnenfeld leavens his many struggles with a substantial dose of humor. He might have endured much, but Barry Sonnenfeld, Call Your Mother: Memoirs of a Neurotic Filmmaker reveals Sonnenfeld to be a survivor. It's also a testament to how the rivers of fate can push you in unexpected directions....Sonnenfeld comes up with a wealth of entertaining stories....Revel in the ruminations of a man whose youthful traumas seared but didn't scar him."―Book & Film Globe

"Amazing."―Peter Sagal, NPR's "Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me"

"One of the funniest books I've ever read in my life."―Holly Firfer, CNN First Reads

About the Author

Barry Sonnenfeld is a filmmaker and writer who broke into the film industry as the cinematographer on the Coen Brothers' first three films: Blood Simple, Raising Arizona, and Miller's Crossing. He also was the director of photography on Throw Mamma from the Train, Big, When Harry Met Sally, and Misery. Sonnenfeld made his directorial debut with The Addams Family in 1991, and has gone on to direct a number of films including Addams Family Values, Get Shorty, and the first three Men in Blacks. His television credits include Pushing Daisies, for which he won an Emmy, Netflix's A Series of Unfortunate Events, and most recently Apple TV+'s Schmigadoon.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Hachette Books; Illustrated edition (March 10, 2020)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 368 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0316415618
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0316415613
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.4 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.4 x 1.35 x 9.3 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #812,781 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #346 in Movie Director Biographies
- #618 in Video Direction & Production (Books)
- #633 in Celebrity & Popular Culture Humor (Books)

Customer Reviews:
4.3 876 ratings

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Barry Eisler

You Really Will Laugh, Then Cry, Then Laugh Again

Reviewed in the United States on May 19, 2020

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I learned about this book from a podcast I like--Alec Baldwin's Here's The Thing. Sonnenfeld was funny and engaging, so I downloaded the audiobook, which Sonnenfeld reads.

And as much as I enjoyed the interview, the book was another level. Sonnenfeld's anecdotes and delivery are hilarious (my associations with champagne are forever tarnished, 'nuf said). But the memoir is bookended by a stomach-knotting recounting of child molestation and parental neglect. "You'll laugh, you'll cry" might be a cliche, but like most cliches some of its longevity is the result of the truth at the heart of it, and yes, this book did make me laugh, then cry, then laugh again.

Ultimately Barry Sonnenfeld, Call Your Mother is a story of triumph--of love, of compassion, of insight--and my final tears at the story's conclusion were of joy. Sonnenfeld is what novelist and child protector Andrew Vachss calls a transcender (as opposed to a survivor). And that is perhaps the greatest triumph of all.

I would be remiss if I failed to mention that my God, "The Ballad of the Kosher Cowboy" (written by actor Jeff Daniels), which rolls along with the closing credits, is both touching and hilarious. Other than that now I can't get it out of my head, it was the perfect coda to a wonderful memoir.

10 people found this helpful

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Dana D.

Funny and poignant

Reviewed in the United States on November 30, 2021

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Well written, you laughed so much you cry however some of the stories do make you want to cry. It's a blessing he shared His story

Reviewed in the United States on April 3, 2024

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Item was in excellent condition and as advertised. Shipping time was acceptable and packaging was good.

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The Consumer

Really funny book - can't wait for the movie.

Reviewed in the United States on March 24, 2020

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You don’t need to know who Barry Sonnenfeld is to enjoy this book. BS Call Your Mother is laugh out loud funny. Sounds like a cliché but it really will tickle your funny bone. Sonnenfeld has a knack for comedy, it can be seen in his style of directing and camerawork in shows like Raising Arizona, Addams Family Values or Men in Black. The journey through his career from awkward kid to major director is quirky with many twists and turns, his telling is the key - It feels like you’re in the room with him enjoying his witty company. Highly recommend this book to everyone.

6 people found this helpful

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Brian

Be glad it wasn't you

Reviewed in the United States on January 25, 2024

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After reading this book, I reassessed my own upbringing, most of which was miserable, but it wasn't Barry's...and thank God. After a while I realized that I was fighting to finish the book...not because it was poorly written, but because I couldn't take it anymore. That he became a relative well-adjusted adult and had a successful career is a testament to overcoming adversity. Oh did he ever...

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Michael A. Kamins

We Led Lives that were one Year Apart in Time--but Miles Apart in Familial Relationships

Reviewed in the United States on July 16, 2020

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I grew up in Washington Heights, living one block away from Barry at 629 W. 173rd Street and hence my motivation to read the book. I went to PS 173 one year before Barry, but would have been in his class had not my mother made a big deal getting me into the prior class despite my late November birthdate. But if I were in his class and became his friend would I have ALSO been molested by CM the CM? Back in the 1960's parents didn't understand the severe consequences of molestation, and I am happy that Barry could announce to the world about what happened to him at the hands (literally) of a family member. We had the same teachers...Kremer, Frishberg, possibly Rowan, Goldberg, Bernstein, Cinelli and maybe Lazos. I remember Lichtenstein who made the mistake of letting the NY Times profile our class. He was told they were impressed by the academic standing of the class, but their intent was to publish a story of how "white" 5-1 and 5-2 really were. Yup even back then almost 60 years ago!

Today almost 60 years after fifth grade, Ms. Lazos and almost all of the fifth grade class get together on Zoom every month to talk about old times. So, my read was very very personal for the first 100 pages as I also went to JHS 143, and unfortunately ended up at George Washington High which was a bit safer than Vietnam.

The ending of the book, left me with a sad feeling for Barry and the difficulty he had with his parents who despite thinking they were loving, didn't do right for him at key points in his life. They chose selfishness not sustenance, manipulation not motivation. If you can't trust your family, who can you trust? The slogan for the book, "Regret the past, fear the Present, Dread the Future." is NOT the message one would want to take home from the book...it is derived from of Barry's traumatic experiences and should be ignored as not a recipe for success. The message for younger readers comes in the epilogue, and that is you make your own breaks. Luck comes from hard work and being where one needs to be when the moment calls for it. Despite challenges, Barry's strongest point is his determination to succeed despite all challenges and THAT is impressive. A kid from the neighborhood makes good! Bravo!

10 people found this helpful

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Deryn Semmes

Humor is the Secret to Life

Reviewed in the United States on May 11, 2020

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My friend recommend this story as a book to pick up when you can't sleep at night. It has been my go to friend, who I can laugh and cry with over the insanities that life can lead you to and the pure brilliance of knowing that this moment didn't just happen. It's a miracle! The best part of this story for me was how it ended. It was a surprise, priceless, and made me bawl. As Mr. Sonnenfeld and the cast of Addam's family insisted, you have to have a complete ending. I am so sad the story has ended (for now)!

2 people found this helpful

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Valerie Eckhard

great read!

Reviewed in the United States on July 19, 2022

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I am from NY, but do not live there any more. Some times I miss it, and this gave me a much need boost of that pure East coast honesty I have been craving.

One person found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

Jane Farries

Funny, sad, addictive memoir

Reviewed in Canada on July 10, 2020

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Sonnenfeld may be humble-bragging in spots about his cinematic skills, but’s it’s extremely good h-bragging. Some soul-blenching moments as well, as counterpoint to his humorous anecdotes. Simply a joy to read.