I’m having such a hard time this quarter in my studio class, specifically because of my teachers. I feel like I can’t go to either of them for help because they’ll either get mad at me or be super rude. It feels like my professor has a bias against me and is openly mean to me (she’s known around to being racist) and the TA is so inconsiderate of where I’m coming from and saying everything I’m doing is just wrong.
I totally get critiques but the way they talk to me is so disrespectful and degrading. I still have 2 months left with them and I’m starting to get so anxious I can’t sleep at night and am too afraid to go to studio.
Yesterday the TA was so rude he raised his voice at me and was so rude I started to cry. I had to leave the classroom. (This was the first time this has ever happened).
If anyone reading this could help me out and talk with me about this I would appreciate it. My outside friends told me to brush it off but they didn’t have to experience that and how embarrassing it was having my peers see me leave crying.
Edit: I just looked at her rate my professor and I couldn’t agree more with what others have said.
My friend/classmate went through the something similar and was bullied by our professor. She went to the assistant dean throughout the semester and gave him updates on the bullying she was experiencing. She ended up getting her grade revised at the end because the professor rated her so poorly even though she had a good project and review. I would take a list of instances and things said or written to you that were offensive/mean and let the dean or assistant dean know you feel like you're being bullied and you don't want it to affect your grade in the end.
We will all have to deal with rude people from time to time. It sucks but there's a few ways to not let it affect you as much such as standing up for yourself and calling them out. You can also consider just ignoring them and continously reporting them. Please document via email your experiences so the administration can't get around it. If you have other people who've been bullied by the same teachers or a witness, I would ask them to come with as you sit and meet with the dean or whoever.
Also, unless they said something explicitly racist, I would not bring race into it. It's a touchy topic and brings what can be an unrelatable dynamic that clouds the issue.
I'm also going to say too, take a good look at your list of experiences. Are they about your work or about you personally? Try to detach your feelings from how your work is received by others. Sometimes we just do shit work despite our best efforts and that's it. It doesn't define you or your value. It'll also make the learning process easier because it's not about you, it's how can we make this better?
Good luck. Things can be hard and this is the time to tough it out, not back down.
Thank you for that advice. Many students I’ve talked to have agreed with me the teachers are a problem so I know I’ll have their back (I think). Do I need to actually email people or can I just keep track myself of these instances?
I’ve heard from a few other students they’ve been going into the mentality of “I don’t give a fuck anymore” or “disconnecting from their work”. And it kinda makes me sad it’s resulting into that because these teachers only like what they think is right. Totally changing our concepts and models.
I guess to give an example of how I’m a bit mistreated is I printed in the wrong scale. 1/8 instead of 1/4 and she went off on me. She told me to read the paper she handed me (the class prior) again Bc I obviously read it wrong. But I’m looking at the paper right now and it doesn’t even say to print 1/4 scale. But another classmate didn’t even have prints and she wasn’t even bothered.
But thank you so much for your advice I will really try to make it into a learning lesson and come out better from it.
Documenting via email means that the dean or whoever can't pretend they didn't know, and your emails ensure your version of events is appropriately documented. Talking only won't do. Take it from someone who just learned this the hard way. Send the email to the dean or whoever you talk to. You don't necessarily need to add anyone else to it but maybe dean and assistant dean. First email documenting this could go something like:
"Dear Dean and Assistant Dean,
I am writing to ask for your help and guidance on this issue that has been affecting me greatly. I am currently in Prof. Meanie's Studio001 class and throughout this semester, I have been experiencing what I believe to be bullying tactics from both him/her and the fellow TA, ThisGuy. After months of rude, mean and disrespectful comments, the most recent event left me in tears. I bring this to you as a concerned student in hopes that a resolution to this issue may be made. Can we please meet and discuss? Below are a few of the most concerning incidents I experienced:
List 5-6 of the worst incidents. If you have witnesses, say that too. I would list the number instead of the name unless they're willing to speak up for you just so you don't get heat if they didn't want to say anything. (eg "in front of my class," "with two other students present" etc)
I have a list of a number of other incidents as well, which I will bring to our meeting. Thank you for reading my concerns. I look forward to speaking to you.
Sincerely,
cajoyeh"
In most cases, I try to understand where "mean" people are coming from and ask questions so I understand the motive. This usually results in mutual respect and less criticism from them. But if this has been so continuous and downright disrespectful, that needs to be resolved. Good luck!
I barely go to the studio either. It's not my tutors it's my classmates.
I'm a little different.. . Im basically the definition of different... im very poor (ive been homeless while at uni) I have autism and adhd and am a trans man and I'm also gay (I've never told anyone I'm gay but I wish I could) I also have a limp and severe eczema that is all over my body and especially my face and hands... literally have been bullied for every one of these things in the 1 and a half years I've been in this course. In the first year, I became severely depressed and ( TW) considered ending everything. Not only because of studio, but that was a factor. Obviously, because I'm like this, my confidence wasn't great to start with, but now I can't even do reviews in front of anyone, but the tutors. I have one friend in studio and that's it. My tutor was kind enough to move me to the same group and her once he found out my situation (there's a lot of personal and family issues I'd rather not share on the Internet)
This isn't just me, tho , there's been blatant racism by my classmates towards black students. There's a boy that pretend to be gay to get invited to a girls' party. I'm not even going to get started on the sexism. There's maybe 1 other visibly queer student, and they've been bullied and ostracised, too.
The thing is, I REALLY REALLY push myself. I'm trying extra hard this year, and it's kinda paying off. I really don't want to quit this. I'm letting the stress and anxiety drag me through at this point it's my only fuel some days.
The only advice I can give is to take advantage of being at university outside of ur degree. Join a sports society or two and have a good network of friends outside architecture they'll save u when u want to run off a cliff. I've found joy in my hobbies, and I work on my projects in the library a lot of the time that I'm supposed to be in the studio (with my tutor permission). I don't try to save money for architecture by not treating myself the way I should. I go to the gym when I'm really stressed and ask for help when I need it. I've started to recognise my faults and try to fix them. It's hard to get out the mindset of failure when ur in it but u have to push urself through to the other side.
I wish u the very best. Stay in it for the rest of us who need down to earth people !
Thank you for opening yourself up and sharing your story with me. I’m so sorry people treat you differently. They sound childish, especially acting that way in college. You’re very strong for continuing such a difficult journey but you inspire me so much. I should be very grateful I got into the program and have supportive classmates.
Thank you for sharing so much and the advice. I’ll keep this with me
Take a deep breath, first of all.
It's just a class. It's just a professor. 15 years from now you'll be talking about that one dick who taught studio and laugh about it. You will meet lots of people in your lifetime who have poor bedside manner and that's not a reflection of you or your moral character as a human being. You deserve respectfulness as much as anyone else, but that doesn't always mean you'll get it, because some people don't know or don't care to give it. When you join the military they scream in your face. Obviously you're not in a war situation, but think about it. Some people can't take that and they wash out, and those guys are probably the same ones that wouldn't make it in a real war scenario.
So you have two choices: you can wash out before you get to the part where you have to manage rude, entitled clients, or an asshole boss, or some coworker with a chip on his shoulder OR you can take this as an opportunity to practice letting things roll off you.
You're there to learn something, right? So learn it. Every criticism is valid (because everyone has an opinion and they're allowed to do that), but not every criticism is useful. Weed out the useful parts and get better, and practice leaving the rest behind.
You make great points. And in the moment I thought I was so worthless. Frustration has gotten so high these past few weeks and I think I’ve just been so fed up. These teachers are not good people, the professor is known to pick favorites (10 years of students rate my professor comments!). But I want to be able to take a yelling and stick my chin up and continue to do what I love no matter what. I’m still so embarrassed that I cried during a crit and left class. In front of the TA and all my peers. Maybe he’ll think less of me, I don’t know. But thank you for the advice I’m going to just let those harsh words roll off my back.
Well, everything is temporary. Even embarrassment. You are learning and learning is nothing that you need to be ashamed of. You fell on your butt 1000 times and looked hella goofy when you were learning to walk and run, but that doesn’t embarrass you to think about, does it? People who are rude and uncivil are the ones making fools of themselves.
You’re absolutely right. What is growth without falling a few times. Although this fall hurt a little bit more than I’m use to. But you’ve given me a great outlook on the situation thank you!
Lil pro tip: all you have to say is “I appreciate your perspective.” You don’t have to agree or disagree or kiss ass or defend yourself right in that instant. Give yourself space to take in what was said to you so you can separate the advice from the delivery.
![[deleted]](https://www.redditstatic.com/shreddit/assets/snoovatar-back-64x64px.png){kind=small}
[removed]
I'm sure you're an absolute delight everywhere you go.
OP is not going to change the behavior, but does have to cope with it and pass the class, or drop it.
[removed]
Thank you for sharing your own experience and advice. I have heard how the architecture industry is toxic and I was scared of that when getting into my major. I didn’t have any problems until now (I guess it’s only my second quarter though).
And I feel maybe I’m too much of a push over or too shy to have the “fuck you” mentality. I tried to kind of defend myself but she didn’t care. I don’t want to start really defending my designs though but it’s something I’ll need to work on. Thank you again
I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this ❤️
I hope you consider reaching out to the mental health services at your university. I had counseling throughout arch school because my anxiety was sky-high and prevented me from actually doing my work - because my work itself was so anxiety-provoking. I’d have panic attacks in studio because the whole environment was a pressure cooker.
(Please know that I do NOT mean to disregard the racism you are experiencing from your prof/TA. That’s unacceptable. I just wanted to mention counseling because I have not seen that mentioned by others.)
I’m so sorry you had to go through such a tough time but wow I couldn’t have described what I feel more perfect than you did. I’m starting to lose sleep because I’m so anxious and all I think about is studio and having to face my teachers.
But it helps so so so much hearing from like minded people that have gone through what I’m going through now. My outsider friend told me to basically get over it and I couldn’t feel more hurt hearing that from a friend. Thank you for you’re kindness and empathy
I’m so very sorry to hear that your friend told you to “get over it”…! That’s not kind or understanding… Thankfully, no (good) therapist will ever tell you to “get over it” 😂 I hope your university has someone you could speak to!
When I was in therapy (during arch school) the therapist told me that her and her colleagues all really disliked the arch program for how poorly they supported mental health. I guess they were seeing a lot of us arch students and noticed a pattern 😬
Good news though, once my mental health improved (via counseling AND meds) my projects truly got BETTER! So I promise there are brighter days ahead, you just have to get through the bullshit (like this semester) and take care of yourself ❤️
Sending you all my love and support!!
