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A Grief Observed Paperback – April 21, 2015

by C. S. Lewis (Author), Madeleine L'Engle (Foreword)
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The Spiritual Journey of Grief

A Grief Observed is C.S. Lewis’s honest reflection on the fundamental issues of life, death, and faith in the midst of loss. Written after his wife’s tragic death as a way of surviving the “mad midnight moments,” A Grief Observed is an unflinchingly truthful account of how loss can lead even a stalwart believer to lose all sense of meaning in the universe, and how he can gradually regain his bearings. 

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  1. Print length
    76 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    HarperOne
  4. Publication date
    April 21, 2015
  5. Reading age
    18 years and up
  6. Dimensions
    5.31 x 0.25 x 8 inches
  7. ISBN-10
    0060652381
  8. ISBN-13
    978-0060652388
  9. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"I read Lewis for comfort and pleasure many years ago, and a glance into the books revives my old admiratation."-- John Updike"A very personal, anguished, luminous little book about the meaning of death, marriage, and religion."-- "Publishers Weekly

From the Back Cover

Written after his wife's tragic death as a way of surviving the "mad midnight moments," A Grief Observed is C. S. Lewis's honest reflection on the fundamental issues of life, death, and faith in the midst of loss. This work contains his concise, genuine reflections of that period: "Nothing will shake a man—or at any rate a man like me—out of his merely verbal thinking and his merely notional beliefs. He has to be knocked silly before he comes to his senses. Only torture will bring out the truth. Only under torture does he discover it himself."

This is a beautiful and unflinchingly honest record of how even a stalwart believer can lose all sense of meaning in the universe, and how he can gradually regain his bearings.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ HarperOne; 1st edition (April 21, 2015)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 76 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0060652381
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0060652388
  • Reading age ‏ : ‎ 18 years and up
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 3.28 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.31 x 0.25 x 8 inches
  • Customer Reviews:

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C.S. Lewis

C.S. Lewis

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CLIVE STAPLES LEWIS (1898-1963) was one of the intellectual giants of the twentieth century and arguably one of the most influential writers of his day. He was a fellow and tutor in English Literature at Oxford University until 1954 when he was unanimously elected to the Chair of Medieval and Renaissance English at Cambridge University, a position he held until his retirement. He wrote more than thirty books, allowing him to reach a vast audience, and his works continue to attract thousands of new readers every year. His most distinguished and popular accomplishments include Mere Christianity, Out of the Silent Planet, The Great Divorce, The Screwtape Letters, and the universally acknowledged classics, the Chronicles of Narnia. To date, the Narnia books have sold over 100 million copies and been transformed into three major motion pictures.

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5
6,058 global ratings
Insight to grief
5 Stars
Insight to grief
C.S. Lewis’ is journaling his grief in this book. This book excludes prompts, step by step guides, self help, etc., but this is more of stepping into Mr. Lewis’ journey of grieving. The hardcover is bound beautifully and the pages are reminiscent of deckle edges.
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Top reviews from the United States

Brenda
5.0 out of 5 stars Helps with Grieving process
Reviewed in the United States on December 22, 2023
Verified Purchase
I bought this as a gift for my fiancé since he recently lost 2 loved ones in the past two years. He had never experienced the death of a loved one and it has taken a toll on his mental health. I have never lost a loved one so I was having a difficult time trying to help him through this time of need. I saw the reviews on this book and then asked if it was okay for me to get him a book on grieving, and he said sure (he is not much of a reader). When it arrived he didn't have much interest in reading it and I didn't push him to read it either, but one day he just decided on his own to read it and he said he couldn't put it down and finished it almost all in one sitting. He also said it has given him a lot of perspective on grieving loved ones. He said it helped him understand it (grieving) a little better and that is what I was hoping this book would be able to do for him. Thank you C.S.Lewis.
33 people found this helpful
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Amanda Hupe
5.0 out of 5 stars Words when I needed them most...thank you Mr. Lewis
Reviewed in the United States on February 4, 2021
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Two days after my Dad passed, I bought A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis. I needed something. I could not focus on reading fiction. I needed to read something by someone who I knew whose words would be a comfort. C.S. Lewis wrote these essays after the death of his wife. These are what he called, “mad midnight moments.” For those who are going through a loss, laying down to sleep is the worst. His path through grief is healthy and relatable. However, I lost my dad, not my husband, so this is a book I would recommend to someone who is grieving over a spouse or partner. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t quotes that spoke to me and I am grateful for the insight so I can be there for my mother and listen to her as she processes her grief. There are so many quotes. This isn’t really a review. Just a sharing of quotes that might help someone else.

“Talk to me about the truth of religion and I’ll listen gladly. Talk to me about the duty of religion and I’ll listen submissively. But don’t come talking to me about the consolations of religion or I shall suspect that you don’t understand.”

A GRIEF OBSERVED
THIS. In fact, if you haven’t experienced a loss, still read this book. I could write so many things now to NOT say to people when going through their grief….sorry I am still weaving in and out of the angry stage. But in all seriousness, never say “this is all a part of God’s plan.” Never, ever, EVER. This is like tearing open a wound in someone’s heart. It creates even more anger than before. It is not helpful or comforting. Don’t try to point out the “positives.” I will never see my dad again on this Earth. I have to go the rest of my life without another hug or him calling me, “Joop” because his answering machine couldn’t pronounce my last name. I will never see play with my sons or nephews again and the hole that is in my heart will never close.

“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing. At other times it feels like being mildly drunk, or concussed. There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me.”

I never contemplated a life without my dad. I am still in denial. He could walk in the door any minute. I still feel alone even though I am surrounded by an amazing support system. How did I get blessed with the most amazing family? My sisters, my mom, and I are already close but now we cling to each other and we have all been there for each other.

I am a fixer. I hate when those I love around me are hurting. I am trying to be a better listener because I am not the only one grieving. There is no fixing loss. The hurt and pain will hit in waves but it will never actually cease. As I said above, I hope this can help someone else. There are moments where I feel like I am drowning. But reading these words validated my feelings. They helped and could help you.
149 people found this helpful
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A Reader
4.0 out of 5 stars Poignant, Honest Record of Grief
Reviewed in the United States on March 26, 2011
Verified Purchase
Read through the very slender A Grief Observed by C. S. Lewis last night. The book records a brief history of time after the death of C. S. Lewis' wife from cancer. It distinguishes between records and maps of griefs (how can one map grief?), and shines a light on faith and God during pain and suffering. It's a very honest, bare-boned look at ourselves as people and as Christians.

The book begins with the death, and Lewis' fear that he is dreaming up an image of his wife, and that the representation is far from the reality. Only, the reality is no longer in existence. Lewis records his numerous discomforts and fears: running into people who don't know what to say, or say what they cannot know (She is with God; She feels no pain), or say the wrong thing (There is no God); addressing his sons only to find that they are ashamed when Lewis mentions their dead mother; fearing where his wife is and what state she is in; dreading the midnight hours. There is one beautiful analogy that he makes between the loss of H. and salt. Grief or anxiety is not skirted because he avoids the cafes or parks they visited together. Her absence is like the absence of salt. If there were no more salt on earth, no more salt at all in any food, one would realize it, one would taste it not only in particular foods, but in every food at every meal.

Next, Lewis contemplates the divine. Is God a Cosmic Sadist, or is He wholly good? There are many, many good analogies in here that helped me understand Lewis' process and where he stood in the beginning and at the end. Does God give only to take away out of sadistic pleasure? Lewis claims that God sees that one part of life (Lewis' marriage) comes to fruit and perfection, and moves Christians along to other parts of life in order that through suffering (grief and death), new sanctification is realized. He is not a sadist cutting into the flesh of believers, but rather a skilled surgeon who must continue with all of the incisions in order that the surgery be completed. Otherwise, to finish midway and let off because of the patient's complaints would mean something worse. Nothing is arbitrary, nothing is in vain. And if we see God as dark, wicked, mean, cruel, it is only because we do not see at all, according to Lewis. His great fear is, after all, not that there is no God, but that God is cruel and not what Lewis had understood him to be through Scripture and life.

It's interesting because he gives a description of God's response to human grief: silence. He comes to realize that his own panic and terror caused him to run and slam the door in his own face. It's difficult to save a terrified drowning man, he will pull you down. The prayers are screams and it's impossible to hear anything but ourselves. He writes that he realized later that God chooses the right time to give comfort or answers.

He also says that "God is the great Iconoclast," who constantly smashes our erroneous images of Himself. We are image makers, we are constantly categorizing and creating representations of things and beings we cannot see (alive, dead, and divine). We want the images, we are afraid to forget. But what we need is the real thing. We want our loved ones back, pictures don't suffice. And, of greater importance, we don't want something that is like Christ, or something like his life, work, death, and resurrection; we need the real thing.

(Is it really true that Lewis prayed for the dead? Did he continue after his wife passed?)

The last section is devoted mostly to H., his wife, who is really referred to as H. Lewis is highly cognizant of the triptych he creates. He begins with himself, then looks to God, the Creator, and then appreciates his wife, the created, the gift. He closes the record by stating that it will be a part of his life forever, but that H. did say, not to him, but to the chaplain, I am at peace with God.
54 people found this helpful
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Danielle
5.0 out of 5 stars Insight to grief
Reviewed in the United States on February 21, 2024
Verified Purchase
C.S. Lewis’ is journaling his grief in this book. This book excludes prompts, step by step guides, self help, etc., but this is more of stepping into Mr. Lewis’ journey of grieving. The hardcover is bound beautifully and the pages are reminiscent of deckle edges.
Customer image
Danielle
5.0 out of 5 stars Insight to grief
Reviewed in the United States on February 21, 2024
C.S. Lewis’ is journaling his grief in this book. This book excludes prompts, step by step guides, self help, etc., but this is more of stepping into Mr. Lewis’ journey of grieving. The hardcover is bound beautifully and the pages are reminiscent of deckle edges.
Images in this review
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4 people found this helpful
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Lynn W
5.0 out of 5 stars In Depth and Comforting…
Reviewed in the United States on April 26, 2024
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A raw and truthful accounting of the range of emotions of Grief and struggle with the Crestor God. Highly recommend!
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Bill Flanigan
5.0 out of 5 stars Good book if you have lost a spouse
Reviewed in the United States on April 12, 2024
Verified Purchase
This book was really more of a diary that C.S. Lewis kept when he was losing his wife to cancer and then tried to get his life back after she died. Having recently lost my wife, I found a lot of his thoughts, observations, anger, and sadness relevant to my situation. I'm not alone.

I also appreciated how he lost and then regained his faith. That did not happen to me, but I could understand how some people might get angry at God for their loss. It helps me to read his thoughts as he wrote them in this book.
3 people found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Good for understanding loss
Reviewed in Canada on December 12, 2023
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When someone you love passes away, this book would help you deal with it.
One person found this helpful
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Mr M.
5.0 out of 5 stars Moving
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 27, 2024
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Extremely interesting, and to a degree comforting (because someone else has been through it), analysis of the process of grief.
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Rob Hupertz
5.0 out of 5 stars A hard read but a good read
Reviewed in Australia on January 27, 2023
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…..helped with processing some of my grief. Also a relief to known that a Godly man like C.S. Lewis also struggled with himself, with doubt, with God and with his emotions.
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Patricialeal
5.0 out of 5 stars Buen libro.
Reviewed in Spain on February 2, 2017
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Es un libro interesante sobre la palabra Dios cuando perdemos alguien en nuestra vida. Lo dimos de regalo a una amiga.
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Ets
5.0 out of 5 stars Very realistic portrayal of grief after death
Reviewed in India on November 20, 2016
Verified Purchase
The title very key "A" grief observed ... In this case, it's him grieving the death of his wife. Because it's his experience, it doesn't seem "preachy"... Especially parts I could relate to. It's different in different cases, even for the same person, depending on relation with the deceased. It was a comforting read.
One person found this helpful
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