I was very curious about the movie poster which caught my eye, whoever did it, did a great job. The movie poster seemingly has nothing to do with the storyline: an ambitious employee is tasked with bringing an important CEO back to work from a wellness retreat and things go downhill from there. I want to give it 4.5 stars but since that isn't possible, I will give it 5 for a few reasons: the story is quite unique - it is not a re-make of an existing movie (yes it is based on a story) and not something that countless films have explored already. The way the story is revealed is not so intense and fast with a lame eureka moment seen way too often already.
It is great that the movie keeps you in suspense without revealing too much in one go, yet still manages to create tension and suspense without using extremes: no extreme action, no excessive torture scenes, no lame off-screen screams, things like that. In some mystery thrillers, the protagonist always excitedly finds out clues along the way and reveals things bit by bit and act like excited teens (hint hint Harry Potter series) when they find something. This one doesn't do any of that. Yes, this one reveals the twist and the viewer figures it out before the actual reveal but it is not done excessively, so it always kept me hooked and wanting to keep watching to find out more. Even the actual ending is subject to discussion and keeps people guessing.
The one thing I wanted to dock points for is that considering it is set in a German speaking area, the way the words are spelt is wrong - In German, adjectives and nouns they describe are written as one word and not separate words. It's like a massive typo and an eyesore. Also:
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At the very end, it is revealed that this story has an element of extreme science fiction to it (humans living for centuries?) - so much so it's borderline supernatural and I would have preferred it was more believable or probable fact, otherwise it has that "and then they wake up and realise it was all a dream". At least the premise is in-universe timeline believable (reaching puberty when you are 100 or something)
Other than that the cinematography is great and makes me want to visit the site where it was filmed.
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A Cure for Wellness
Format: DVD
16,26 € 16,26€
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Kaufoptionen und Plus-Produkte
Genre | Horror |
Format | Untertitelt |
Sprache | Englisch |
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Produktinformation
- Seitenverhältnis : 16:9 - 1.78:1
- Auslaufartikel (Produktion durch Hersteller eingestellt) : Nein
- Produktabmessungen : 1,78 x 19,05 x 13,72 cm; 0,28 Gramm
- Herstellerreferenz : unknown
- Medienformat : Untertitelt
- Erscheinungstermin : 6. Juni 2017
- Synchronisiert: : Französisch, Spanisch
- Untertitel: : Englisch, Französisch, Spanisch
- Studio : 20th Century Fox
- ASIN : B01LTICM8Y
- Anzahl Disks : 1
- Amazon Bestseller-Rang: Nr. 59,369 in DVD & Blu-ray (Siehe Top 100 in DVD & Blu-ray)
- Nr. 5,095 in Horror (DVD & Blu-ray)
- Kundenrezensionen:
Kundenrezensionen
4,1 von 5 Sternen
4,1 von 5
2.675 weltweite Bewertungen
So funktionieren Kundenrezensionen und -bewertungen
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Spitzenrezensionen
Spitzenbewertungen aus Deutschland
Derzeit tritt ein Problem beim Filtern der Rezensionen auf. Bitte versuche es später erneut.
Rezension aus Deutschland vom 5. Dezember 2022
Rezension aus Deutschland vom 19. August 2017
"A Cure For Wellness" nimmt sich Zeit, um seine verwobene Geschichte um ein geheimnisvolles Sanatorium in der Schweiz kleinschrittig zu entfalten. Dies dürfte nicht jedem potentiellen Interessenten gefallen. Das rund 140 Minuten lange und in kühlen Farben sehr ausdrucksstark bebilderte Geschehen, das sich auf einen gestressten Jung-Manager fokussiert, der beim Aufsuchen eines ehemaligen Vorstandsvorsitzenden durch einen vermeintlichen Zufall dazu gezwungen wird, längerfristig in einer Genesungsstätte für ehemals chronisch überarbeitete Patienten zu verweilen, stellt seine zentralen Figuren gemächlich vor und bringt die Handlung langsam in Gang. "Pirates-Of-The-Caribbean"-Regisseur und Oscar-Preisträger Gore Verbinski, der bereits bei "Mäusejagd" und "Rango" seiner Neigung für außergewöhnlicher Perspektiven und Kameraeinstellungen Ausdruck verlieh, schuf in Kooperation mit dem erfahrenen, an der Akademie der musischen Künste in Prag ausgebildeten Kinematographen Bojan Bazelli ("King of New York", "Body Snatchers", "Surviving the Game", "Duell der Magier") einen visuell hervorragend gelungenen und stimmungsvollen Genre-Beitrag im 1.78:1-Bildformat. Optische Parallelen zu Filmen von Tim Burton sind hierbei unübersehbar.
Das mit surrealen Fragmenten gespickte und teilweise etwas verwirrende Drehbuch aus der Feder von Justin Haythe, der als Romanschriftsteller und Drehbuchautor unter anderem mit "Lone Ranger" und "Snitch - Ein riskanter Deal" zwei qualitativ nicht unumstrittene Arbeiten abgeliefert hat, kann diesmal überzeugen, ist allerdings keinesfalls frei von Überflüssigem und manch unlogischer Wendung. Insofern man dazu bereit ist, das Geschehen für sich stehen zu lassen, ohne jedes Ereignis bezogen auf dessen Folgerichtigkeit zu hinterfragen, ist das zu Sehende durchaus spannend. Partiell hätte dem Verlauf des zu großen Teilen durch die deutsche Filmförderung finanzierten Films etwas mehr Tempo gut getan. Die größtenteils in Deutschland angesiedelten Dreharbeiten wurden vom Studio Babelsberg ausgeführt und die zentrale Location des Sanatoriums mit viel Aufwand und Liebe zum Detail gestaltet. So wurden beispielsweise die Schwimmhalle des Johannisbades in Zwickau, die Burg Hohenzollern, der Oberhofer Bahnhof und das tatsächlich existierende Sanatorium in Beelitz-Heilstätten zu Drehorten umfunktioniert. Der Soundtrack des britischen Komponisten und Dirigenten Benjamin Wallfisch ("Lights Out", "Hidden Figures") ist fantastisch. Auch die Sound-Effekte und die Synchronisation sind erstklassig. Dane DeHaan, Jason Isaacs und Mia Goth überzeugen in passend besetzten Hauptrollen.
- - - Fazit: Das relativ bescheidene Einspielergebnis an den Kinokassen, das deutlich hinter den Herstellungskosten zurück blieb, wird der Qualität und dem Aufwand des Films nicht gerecht. Zuschauer mit einer Vorliebe für Gruselfilme oder beispielsweise Leser von unheimlichen Romanen dürften durchaus Gefallen an "A Cure For Wellness" finden. Wer hingegen temporeiche Produktionen mit hohen Action-Anteilen oder bluttriefende Horrorfilme bevorzugt, wird vermutlich enttäuscht sein. Optisch exzellent umgesetzt, stolpert die 40 Millionen US-Dollar teure Produktion zwar über einige vermeidbare Längen und zwei bis drei ungeschickte Wendungen, bietet jedoch gleichermaßen unbestreitbare Vorzüge. Sammler und Gelegenheitskonsumenten, die über eine gewisse Vorhersagbarkeit hinweg sehen können und denen sich langsam entfaltende Schauermärchen für Erwachsene gefallen, sollten mit diesem Blockbuster ansprechend unterhalten werden. Aber Vorsicht: Wenngleich "A Cure For Wellness" unnötige Brutalitäten vermeidet, so bringt die Zurschaustellung menschlicher Urängste einige Szenen mit sich, die nicht für zartbesaitete Menschen geeignet sind.
Das mit surrealen Fragmenten gespickte und teilweise etwas verwirrende Drehbuch aus der Feder von Justin Haythe, der als Romanschriftsteller und Drehbuchautor unter anderem mit "Lone Ranger" und "Snitch - Ein riskanter Deal" zwei qualitativ nicht unumstrittene Arbeiten abgeliefert hat, kann diesmal überzeugen, ist allerdings keinesfalls frei von Überflüssigem und manch unlogischer Wendung. Insofern man dazu bereit ist, das Geschehen für sich stehen zu lassen, ohne jedes Ereignis bezogen auf dessen Folgerichtigkeit zu hinterfragen, ist das zu Sehende durchaus spannend. Partiell hätte dem Verlauf des zu großen Teilen durch die deutsche Filmförderung finanzierten Films etwas mehr Tempo gut getan. Die größtenteils in Deutschland angesiedelten Dreharbeiten wurden vom Studio Babelsberg ausgeführt und die zentrale Location des Sanatoriums mit viel Aufwand und Liebe zum Detail gestaltet. So wurden beispielsweise die Schwimmhalle des Johannisbades in Zwickau, die Burg Hohenzollern, der Oberhofer Bahnhof und das tatsächlich existierende Sanatorium in Beelitz-Heilstätten zu Drehorten umfunktioniert. Der Soundtrack des britischen Komponisten und Dirigenten Benjamin Wallfisch ("Lights Out", "Hidden Figures") ist fantastisch. Auch die Sound-Effekte und die Synchronisation sind erstklassig. Dane DeHaan, Jason Isaacs und Mia Goth überzeugen in passend besetzten Hauptrollen.
- - - Fazit: Das relativ bescheidene Einspielergebnis an den Kinokassen, das deutlich hinter den Herstellungskosten zurück blieb, wird der Qualität und dem Aufwand des Films nicht gerecht. Zuschauer mit einer Vorliebe für Gruselfilme oder beispielsweise Leser von unheimlichen Romanen dürften durchaus Gefallen an "A Cure For Wellness" finden. Wer hingegen temporeiche Produktionen mit hohen Action-Anteilen oder bluttriefende Horrorfilme bevorzugt, wird vermutlich enttäuscht sein. Optisch exzellent umgesetzt, stolpert die 40 Millionen US-Dollar teure Produktion zwar über einige vermeidbare Längen und zwei bis drei ungeschickte Wendungen, bietet jedoch gleichermaßen unbestreitbare Vorzüge. Sammler und Gelegenheitskonsumenten, die über eine gewisse Vorhersagbarkeit hinweg sehen können und denen sich langsam entfaltende Schauermärchen für Erwachsene gefallen, sollten mit diesem Blockbuster ansprechend unterhalten werden. Aber Vorsicht: Wenngleich "A Cure For Wellness" unnötige Brutalitäten vermeidet, so bringt die Zurschaustellung menschlicher Urängste einige Szenen mit sich, die nicht für zartbesaitete Menschen geeignet sind.
Spitzenrezensionen aus anderen Ländern
Ring Dancer
5,0 von 5 Sternen
For some films, the journey is sometimes better than the destination and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
Rezension aus den Vereinigten Staaten vom 20. Juni 2017
A Cure for Wellness is a very fine film with some unsettling visuals and splendid photography with a weak payoff, but a payoff that is more than compensated for by what preceded it.
It could be said of some films that the setting is a character all its own, here, the exterior architecture of the institute is much too pleasant looking to be foreboding. But there are few movies I can think of however, where the color and lighting scheme serve their purpose well enough to feel like characters.
The lack of the kind of creepiness factor that in some movies comes as the result of a spooky building like a haunted house, is more than compensated for by the lighting of the interior of the institute and a color scheme with bleak white interiors punctuated with sickly yellow rooms, in shades that run the gamut of jaundiced skin and old dried bones. In some places, the pale color scheme is broken up by muted darker colors of the kind that one finds in civil service buildings in rooms and hallways usually hidden from public view. The kind of colors applied in a way that makes employees feel trapped in their careers.
The color scheme sells the idea of sterile cleanliness while that very same cleanliness winds up feeling oppressive due to the early 1900s style furnishings and staff uniforms. While the bowels of the institute are cave-like and as in many horror films, are a metaphorical stand in for the depths of hell, at this point the familiarity of such settings in films strips them of any sense of foreboding and as such, it is far less unsettling than the rest of the institution.
All of the acting is muted, but I hasten to add that this does not mean that the acting is wooden, far from it. The impression I got was that of the patients either trapped by their fates, numb with a sense of content complacency or possessed of a cult-like contentment. In public view, the staff seems to have settled into a practiced, but conscientious routine, with occasional lapses of crude behavior such as masturbation and assaulting a helpless patient. With the staff, there is enough there to convey that these are flawed beings not as self-controlled as the administrators, but without the overkill some filmmakers find necessary to exhibit in a tepid attempt to gin up any sense of ominousness.
Gore Verbinski tosses in a local town reliant on the institute economically, but for one incident involving a violent young man, he stops short of turning the town into a horror film cliché where the locals are sinister. Though there is some sense of that, the overall impression is that the town residents are all too aware that the vitality of the town such as it is, is due to the success of the institute.
I don’t know that I’d call A Cure for Wellness a horror film. In fact, A Cure for Wellness makes a compelling case for creating a different classification for films that are creepy and unsettling and yet fall short of full blown horror.
The film’s climax is the weakest point of A Cure for Wellness for two reasons. The first reason is the final conflict that while short, as these scenes go, still feels deliberately drawn out. The second, is the reliance on the kind of music that typifies conflict in these types of film, a bit too dramatic. This stands in contrast to the relative quiet music from the rest of the film as well as the music from an interspersed ballroom dance where the patients are clad in white ritual robes. Personally, I think the conflict scene music would have been better served by silence, thus allowing the licking flames, the rippling of water and the breaking of glass supply the soundtrack for a more visceral experience.
Another alternative would have been to use the ballroom music throughout so as to disjointedly contrast the differing moods of the two scenes. This would help to convey the cluelessness of the dancers (all patients) which mirrors their reason for going to the institute and their actual experiences there. Or he could have used the kind of subdued music punctuating the rest of the film, or something discordant and disorienting.
All an all however, A Cure for Wellness is a very excellent film if you give yourself permission to just enjoy the journey.
I rented this film digitally and am seriously thinking of purchasing it as I suspect it’s one of those films that one appreciates more with each viewing..
It could be said of some films that the setting is a character all its own, here, the exterior architecture of the institute is much too pleasant looking to be foreboding. But there are few movies I can think of however, where the color and lighting scheme serve their purpose well enough to feel like characters.
The lack of the kind of creepiness factor that in some movies comes as the result of a spooky building like a haunted house, is more than compensated for by the lighting of the interior of the institute and a color scheme with bleak white interiors punctuated with sickly yellow rooms, in shades that run the gamut of jaundiced skin and old dried bones. In some places, the pale color scheme is broken up by muted darker colors of the kind that one finds in civil service buildings in rooms and hallways usually hidden from public view. The kind of colors applied in a way that makes employees feel trapped in their careers.
The color scheme sells the idea of sterile cleanliness while that very same cleanliness winds up feeling oppressive due to the early 1900s style furnishings and staff uniforms. While the bowels of the institute are cave-like and as in many horror films, are a metaphorical stand in for the depths of hell, at this point the familiarity of such settings in films strips them of any sense of foreboding and as such, it is far less unsettling than the rest of the institution.
All of the acting is muted, but I hasten to add that this does not mean that the acting is wooden, far from it. The impression I got was that of the patients either trapped by their fates, numb with a sense of content complacency or possessed of a cult-like contentment. In public view, the staff seems to have settled into a practiced, but conscientious routine, with occasional lapses of crude behavior such as masturbation and assaulting a helpless patient. With the staff, there is enough there to convey that these are flawed beings not as self-controlled as the administrators, but without the overkill some filmmakers find necessary to exhibit in a tepid attempt to gin up any sense of ominousness.
Gore Verbinski tosses in a local town reliant on the institute economically, but for one incident involving a violent young man, he stops short of turning the town into a horror film cliché where the locals are sinister. Though there is some sense of that, the overall impression is that the town residents are all too aware that the vitality of the town such as it is, is due to the success of the institute.
I don’t know that I’d call A Cure for Wellness a horror film. In fact, A Cure for Wellness makes a compelling case for creating a different classification for films that are creepy and unsettling and yet fall short of full blown horror.
The film’s climax is the weakest point of A Cure for Wellness for two reasons. The first reason is the final conflict that while short, as these scenes go, still feels deliberately drawn out. The second, is the reliance on the kind of music that typifies conflict in these types of film, a bit too dramatic. This stands in contrast to the relative quiet music from the rest of the film as well as the music from an interspersed ballroom dance where the patients are clad in white ritual robes. Personally, I think the conflict scene music would have been better served by silence, thus allowing the licking flames, the rippling of water and the breaking of glass supply the soundtrack for a more visceral experience.
Another alternative would have been to use the ballroom music throughout so as to disjointedly contrast the differing moods of the two scenes. This would help to convey the cluelessness of the dancers (all patients) which mirrors their reason for going to the institute and their actual experiences there. Or he could have used the kind of subdued music punctuating the rest of the film, or something discordant and disorienting.
All an all however, A Cure for Wellness is a very excellent film if you give yourself permission to just enjoy the journey.
I rented this film digitally and am seriously thinking of purchasing it as I suspect it’s one of those films that one appreciates more with each viewing..
Mosher Phil
4,0 von 5 Sternen
Excellent
Rezension aus dem Vereinigten Königreich vom 26. Juli 2023
A trip to this place would certainly cure any wellness you felt :-)
Amazon Customer
5,0 von 5 Sternen
Dvd
Rezension aus dem Vereinigten Königreich vom 15. Oktober 2023
Fast delivery and very good 👍 👌 👏 😀 😎
John's Horror Corner
5,0 von 5 Sternen
The Road to Wellville (1994) meets Shutter Island (2010) with a dash of Frankenstein (1931) in this strange genre-splicing film.
Rezension aus den Vereinigten Staaten vom 5. Juni 2018
MY CALL: Incredibly strange yet surprisingly rather coherent given its moral-testing lunacy and wispily mixed themes, this visually stunning and sanity-challenging film is worth the time of any adventurous film-goer with a strong stomach and a penchant for the unusual.
Director Gore Verbinksi (The Ring, The Pirates of the Caribbean 1-3) brings his facility for scale and cinematography to this GORGEOUS film that injects a horrific story into The Road to Wellville (1994) interspersed with Shutter Island (2010).
From its very offset we are awash with very different tones and themes. We meet a slick, ambitious young Wall Street executive who is charged by the robotically cold corporate board to venture to a sanitarium in the Swiss Alps to return the company’s perhaps insane CEO. Not 15 minutes into the film and we have corporate scandals and hints that a Frankensteinian dichotomy exists between the “villagers” and the hilltop castle-like wellness facility in a region of the world remote from modern comforts—as if spinning an admixture of present day with Mary Shelley’s historic period.
Our young exec Lockhart (Dane Dehaan; Chronicle, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets) discovers a Utopian treatment center with sunny Tai Chi and badminton on the lawn enjoyed by smiling patients in immaculate white robes and none with a negative word to say. So idealistic is it, that the patients seem to participate equally with the staff in hiding something as Lockhart learns more of the historic hydrotherapy facility’s dark past.
As Lockhart, Dane Dehaan is as sinister as he is charming, but more tightly wound; an excellent counterpart to Jason Isaac’s Dr. Volmer (The OA, Event Horizon) very similar performance as the charismatic facility director Dr. Volmer, who is of ever more calm disposition. As Lockhart loses control, Volmer is always there to grasp more. Not unlike Shutter Island (2010), Lockhart’s investigation soon finds himself a patient of the facility, with numerous delusions of his present echoing the haunting pains of his past.
Things get pretty weird and we end up somewhere I absolutely didn’t expect through the use of elderly full frontal nudity, complicated historical clues revolving around incest and deformed babies, a very strange masturbation scene, reality-questioning hypotheses (or hallucinations) of parasitosis and their VERY invasive means of application, rumors of science-based longevity, an unusual application of electric eels in an off-putting coming-of-age scene, and an extremely uncomfortable father-daughter moment that will likely offend many viewers. Yes, this film includes numerous perverse themes. But, no, I don’t find it exploitative. Given the cavalier inclusion of the aforementioned components, the film was approached rather tactfully. Although it is more than a bit jarring when an actress (regardless of her adulthood in reality) playing an early teenage girl (Mia Goth; Nymphomaniac Vol. II, the 2018 remake of 1977’s Suspiria) is the subject of nudity and sexual assault. So… yeah… ummm… don’t watch this with your mother or your kids.
Despite being incredibly eerie and on (frequent) occasion uncomfortable, this is truly an outstanding film.
Director Gore Verbinksi (The Ring, The Pirates of the Caribbean 1-3) brings his facility for scale and cinematography to this GORGEOUS film that injects a horrific story into The Road to Wellville (1994) interspersed with Shutter Island (2010).
From its very offset we are awash with very different tones and themes. We meet a slick, ambitious young Wall Street executive who is charged by the robotically cold corporate board to venture to a sanitarium in the Swiss Alps to return the company’s perhaps insane CEO. Not 15 minutes into the film and we have corporate scandals and hints that a Frankensteinian dichotomy exists between the “villagers” and the hilltop castle-like wellness facility in a region of the world remote from modern comforts—as if spinning an admixture of present day with Mary Shelley’s historic period.
Our young exec Lockhart (Dane Dehaan; Chronicle, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets) discovers a Utopian treatment center with sunny Tai Chi and badminton on the lawn enjoyed by smiling patients in immaculate white robes and none with a negative word to say. So idealistic is it, that the patients seem to participate equally with the staff in hiding something as Lockhart learns more of the historic hydrotherapy facility’s dark past.
As Lockhart, Dane Dehaan is as sinister as he is charming, but more tightly wound; an excellent counterpart to Jason Isaac’s Dr. Volmer (The OA, Event Horizon) very similar performance as the charismatic facility director Dr. Volmer, who is of ever more calm disposition. As Lockhart loses control, Volmer is always there to grasp more. Not unlike Shutter Island (2010), Lockhart’s investigation soon finds himself a patient of the facility, with numerous delusions of his present echoing the haunting pains of his past.
Things get pretty weird and we end up somewhere I absolutely didn’t expect through the use of elderly full frontal nudity, complicated historical clues revolving around incest and deformed babies, a very strange masturbation scene, reality-questioning hypotheses (or hallucinations) of parasitosis and their VERY invasive means of application, rumors of science-based longevity, an unusual application of electric eels in an off-putting coming-of-age scene, and an extremely uncomfortable father-daughter moment that will likely offend many viewers. Yes, this film includes numerous perverse themes. But, no, I don’t find it exploitative. Given the cavalier inclusion of the aforementioned components, the film was approached rather tactfully. Although it is more than a bit jarring when an actress (regardless of her adulthood in reality) playing an early teenage girl (Mia Goth; Nymphomaniac Vol. II, the 2018 remake of 1977’s Suspiria) is the subject of nudity and sexual assault. So… yeah… ummm… don’t watch this with your mother or your kids.
Despite being incredibly eerie and on (frequent) occasion uncomfortable, this is truly an outstanding film.
Christian M.
3,0 von 5 Sternen
A Cure for Boredom
Rezension aus den Vereinigten Staaten vom 10. Juni 2017
Badly CGI-ed deer? Check.
Look Alikes? Timothy Dalton, Leonardo DiCaprio, Judy Dench, James Malkovich
Stereotypical closeups? Eyes, a stopped watch, rainy windows, eyes, chewing, camera flare, eyes, reflections, rocking horses, eyes, ballerina dolls, eyes, old people, trees, lights, a finger, girl through water....also eyes.
Stereotypical Dialogs? An unfinished story, Simplicity of the human body, a past instance that's really important but not known or explained very well, JUST enough profanity, reasons why the protagonist "DOESN'T UNDERSTAND!!", terrible things...just terrible things, No one ever leaves, a dialog where you make a friend without actually saying anything (Did we just become best friends!!)
Lots of naked old wrinkly butts? (In Kool-Aid Man voice) Oh Yeah!!!
I don't know about this Ring director...but he really hates deer. I mean, that scene with the deer...it's hard to watch.
So, the movie:
Welcome to City. Here is where business tycoon Whats-his-face does business. But oh no! He's in trouble. Luckily, everything is easy to put on someone else in movies so it's time to go find someone else to blame.
Enter Xavier's school for the mentally challenged. Whats-his-face goes to find Whoever because of some BUSINESS BUSINESS BUSINESS. SEC, Stock, Overhead, market, points..other business things.
So, he goes to shutter island (where the school is) to find Whoever. Whoever is there, but it seems hard...so Whats-his-face leaves... OR AT LEAST HE TRIES TO!! Whats-his-face gets in an accident (deer scene) and is then brought back to shutter island. Now, he needs 'treatment' from James Bond. He doesn't want it, but is easily convinced because the movie wouldn't be any good if he didn't give in BASICALLY right away. I mean come on, he was only healthy like an hour ago. Obviously he's now right on the edge of being dead.
Enter James Bond's evil death machine. He must have borrowed it from Blofeld. Also, there are eels. Yes...there are eels in Blofeld's death machine.
After a while in Xavier's school for the mentally challenged and often naked, you are trying to figure out the deep dark secret of it all. Ask the girl with the information, but she sucks, so mostly you will just get useless bits of information you can come back to the second time you watch the movie and say "Oh I see what she did there." Or, the drunk vet (farmer? Vet? I still don't know).
Anyway, there's a bit of menstruation blood, a masturbation seen and a sprinkle of eviscerated cow to fill some of the downtime. Oh...also a bit of Sucker Punch dancing with the bad guys from Mad Max.
As for the deep dark secret? Spoiler-It's super weird nonsense. Honestly...when Whats-his-face eventually finds murder monument and a kid sings " Mah mah mah...da mah mah ma!" in the background, I wanted to check out. Luckily I held in there for the grand finale. I got nothing here. It's crazy stupid and just kept getting worse, and nastier, and weirder. Basically-par for horror.
I don't know. Maybe I'm just soured from watching good movies. It's like a really long episode of 'Are You Afraid of the Dark" mixed with "Shutter Island" mixed with some super low budget movie. This is like a shutter island wannabe that eventually careens into night of the creeps. I think I'd just go watch shutter island if you haven't seen it. If you have, enjoy this! It's...well, it's like a worse shutter island! But hey, Timothy Dalton is a worse Bond, but I'll still watch License to Kill.
Look Alikes? Timothy Dalton, Leonardo DiCaprio, Judy Dench, James Malkovich
Stereotypical closeups? Eyes, a stopped watch, rainy windows, eyes, chewing, camera flare, eyes, reflections, rocking horses, eyes, ballerina dolls, eyes, old people, trees, lights, a finger, girl through water....also eyes.
Stereotypical Dialogs? An unfinished story, Simplicity of the human body, a past instance that's really important but not known or explained very well, JUST enough profanity, reasons why the protagonist "DOESN'T UNDERSTAND!!", terrible things...just terrible things, No one ever leaves, a dialog where you make a friend without actually saying anything (Did we just become best friends!!)
Lots of naked old wrinkly butts? (In Kool-Aid Man voice) Oh Yeah!!!
I don't know about this Ring director...but he really hates deer. I mean, that scene with the deer...it's hard to watch.
So, the movie:
Welcome to City. Here is where business tycoon Whats-his-face does business. But oh no! He's in trouble. Luckily, everything is easy to put on someone else in movies so it's time to go find someone else to blame.
Enter Xavier's school for the mentally challenged. Whats-his-face goes to find Whoever because of some BUSINESS BUSINESS BUSINESS. SEC, Stock, Overhead, market, points..other business things.
So, he goes to shutter island (where the school is) to find Whoever. Whoever is there, but it seems hard...so Whats-his-face leaves... OR AT LEAST HE TRIES TO!! Whats-his-face gets in an accident (deer scene) and is then brought back to shutter island. Now, he needs 'treatment' from James Bond. He doesn't want it, but is easily convinced because the movie wouldn't be any good if he didn't give in BASICALLY right away. I mean come on, he was only healthy like an hour ago. Obviously he's now right on the edge of being dead.
Enter James Bond's evil death machine. He must have borrowed it from Blofeld. Also, there are eels. Yes...there are eels in Blofeld's death machine.
After a while in Xavier's school for the mentally challenged and often naked, you are trying to figure out the deep dark secret of it all. Ask the girl with the information, but she sucks, so mostly you will just get useless bits of information you can come back to the second time you watch the movie and say "Oh I see what she did there." Or, the drunk vet (farmer? Vet? I still don't know).
Anyway, there's a bit of menstruation blood, a masturbation seen and a sprinkle of eviscerated cow to fill some of the downtime. Oh...also a bit of Sucker Punch dancing with the bad guys from Mad Max.
As for the deep dark secret? Spoiler-It's super weird nonsense. Honestly...when Whats-his-face eventually finds murder monument and a kid sings " Mah mah mah...da mah mah ma!" in the background, I wanted to check out. Luckily I held in there for the grand finale. I got nothing here. It's crazy stupid and just kept getting worse, and nastier, and weirder. Basically-par for horror.
I don't know. Maybe I'm just soured from watching good movies. It's like a really long episode of 'Are You Afraid of the Dark" mixed with "Shutter Island" mixed with some super low budget movie. This is like a shutter island wannabe that eventually careens into night of the creeps. I think I'd just go watch shutter island if you haven't seen it. If you have, enjoy this! It's...well, it's like a worse shutter island! But hey, Timothy Dalton is a worse Bond, but I'll still watch License to Kill.
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