70 Funny Anniversary Quotes and Wishes for Couples (2023)

Whether you’re searching for the perfect funny quotes for your husband or wife or any other milestone anniversary, you’re sure to find a humorous way to say congratulations. Celebrate that special couple and their committed marriage with a funny quote on an anniversary card or with sentimental anniversary gifts.

With each wedding anniversary that passes, there is more to laugh about and more to celebrate. You’ll discover well wishes for a husband, wife, and friends in our collection of handpicked quotations. Not to mention other married-life antics that you could include in a card or a social media post.

Funny Anniversary Quotes For Parents

Whether that special couple has been married for a year or they are coming up on the 50-year milestone, they will find any of these funny marriage anniversary quotes humorous. These good wishes will congratulate the elder couple on their special day.

1. I think men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
2. Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity
3. “I know you appreciate the fact that before we were married you didn’t know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge.”
4. Marriage is just texting each other “Do we need anything from the grocery store?” a bunch of times until one of you dies. – Daniel Carrillo
5. Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
6. Marriage Has No Guarantees. If That’s What You’re Looking for, Go Live with A Car Battery
7. “Happy anniversary! Just imagine if our marriage was functional as you make it appear on Facebook.”
8. “A married couple are well suited when both partners usually feel the need for a quarrel at the same time.”
9. “Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener”
10. Thinking about it, I wouldn’t have married you if I wanted a peaceful life. My life would have been so unexciting and boring. Happy Anniversary!
11. Thank you for marrying me and giving me a chance, To scream at you whenever I feel, And I am sure I have you to do the same in the future. So let us celebrate our Happy Anniversary
12. “If love is an amazing dream, then marriage is the alarm clock.”
13. “Marriage is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance.
14. “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”- Groucho Marx
15. Before I thought I know what happiness is, I just realize what it was when I got married Then I woke up, it was already too late
16. Married life is much like a deck of cards. You start off needing only two hearts and a diamond. The more years pass, you’ll just wish that you have a club and a spade instead!
17. “Holy shit. We’re still married!”
18. Marriage is finding that one person who puts up with your drama, admires your weirdness, and still tells you they love you at the end of the day
19. “Happy anniversary! I want to spend the rest of my money with you.”

Funny Anniversary Quotes for Husband

Find the best anniversary quote for your husband with these fun ideas for him. Wish your favorite guy a happy anniversary funny way with these good wishes. Whether it’s joking about your love life or doing more around the house, he’s sure to get a kick out of these memorable quotes.

1. “A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. “- Michel De Montaigne
2. “My dear husband, I want you. To do more around the house.”
3. “Happy Anniversary to the best first husband I’ll ever have.”
4. “My dear husband, I want you. To do more around the house.”
5. “Marriage is a workshop… where the husband works & wife shops.
6. “My husband said he needed more space… So I locked him outside!”
7. “Husbands are the best people to share a secret with because they never listen anyway.”
8. “Holy crap. We’re still married? You’re still my husband? Happy anniversary, I guess. I love you!”
9. “On our anniversary, I want you to know how much happiness and satisfaction I got from annoying the hell out of you all these years. I also want you to know that I have no plans of stopping anytime soon. Happy anniversary, dear husband!”
10. Husbands are the best people to share a secret with because they never listen anyway.
11. “Happy anniversary to my husband, who still looks at me the way he looks at other women.”
12. On our anniversary, I want you to know how much happiness and satisfaction I got from annoying the hell out of you all these years. I also want you to know that I have no plans of stopping anytime soon. Happy anniversary, dear husband
13. Sometimes I look at you and I just can’t help but feel happy for you. After all, you married the world’s most beautiful and brilliant woman. Happy anniversary, dearest husband
14. Marriage is a relationship between two people in love where the other is always right and the other is called a husband
15. “Overall, I love you more than I want to strangle you.
16. A good marriage is one that makes room for love, patience, understanding, and truth, as well as all your shoes, clothes, and bags. Happy anniversary to my husband who lets me have all the room that I want.
17. “All I want for next year is you. Just kidding, give me diamonds.”
18. “My husband said he needed more space… So I locked him outside!
19. “Never laugh at your wife’s choices, you are one of them.
20. I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.– Elizabeth Evans

Funny Anniversary Quotes for Wife

Even though you’re great at cracking jokes, find the perfect funny wedding anniversary quotes for your wife below. While she might be sick of your dad’s jokes, these funny antics are sure to bring a smile to her beautiful face. One more way to remind her of how lucky she is.

1. “In my house, I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.” – Woody Allen
2. If at first, you don’t succeed, try doing it again. This time, do it just like the way your wife told you to!
3. “By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” -Socrates
4. “I still love you. Even though you fart in your sleep.”
5. You’re the only one that I have, and you’re the only one I will ever have. But I just wanted you to know that you’re my favorite wife. I love you, wifey! Happy anniversary.
6. Happy anniversary to my wife. Yep, you’re still the person I want to annoy for the rest of my life.
7. When people ask me about what makes a happy marriage, I simply tell them that the wife is always right. When you think she’s wrong, hit yourself on the head and remember that the wife is always right. Happy anniversary to my wife!
8. To keep your marriage strong and your wife happy, admit it whenever you’re wrong and shut up whenever you’re right. Happy anniversary to my wife, by the way!
9. “I love you more than carbs but less than cheese!”
10. “One year down, freaking forever to go. Happy anniversary.”
11. “Happy Anniversary! We’ve been through a lot together and most of it was your fault.”
12. “Being married to you is like having a best friend who never listens to what you say.”
13. “You are the only one I want to annoy for the rest of my life. Happy Anniversary!”
14. “On our wedding anniversary, I just want to give you a big party from your pay. Happy Anniversary!”
15. “I love you. Thanks for killing all the spiders this year.”
16. “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late.”
17. “Happy anniversary my love. Eat all the leftovers again and I will end you.”
18. “Happy anniversary day from the best thing that ever happened to you.”
19. “My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never. “- Jack Benny
20. I love waking up next to you in the morning. Just don’t breathe on me
21. Happy Anniversary, darling, I still admire your determination to change me.

Funny Anniversary Quotes for Friends

You’ve known from the beginning that these two were meant for each other. Celebrate their love for one another while poking a little fun at them also. They are sure to remember the funny wedding anniversary quotes that you include in their card or gift.

1.  “Love can begin at any moment, it grows over time and could last for eternity. Happy Anniversary to you, my friend!”- Unknown
2. Here’s to two imperfect pieces that perfectly fit each other. Happy Anniversary!
3. Woo hoo! Congratulations! You’ve made it! It’s your wedding anniversary! Can you hardly believe this much time has passed since you tied the knot?! Well, the best is yet to come, my friend!
4. There’s a cover for every pot, and you have found yours. Enjoy the perfect match you have, and celebrate your anniversary with a warm helping of love. Congratulations!
5. “They say marriage makes you live longer. I guess it’s true because you’ve been married forever. Congratulations on your anniversary, and best wishes for many more to come you old lovebirds.” — Anonymous
6.  “A friend who means the world to me. A friend who is always there. May this anniversary be as lovely as ever, and may you find more things to share. Happy Anniversary!”-Unknown
7. “I am happy to know two amazing people who have been together for an amazing amount of time.”- Unknown
8. “A couple that truly lives and understands. May your anniversary be superbly grand. Glad to have you as my friend. Have a blast!”- Unknown
9. “Marriage is that relation between a man and his wife in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal. Happy Anniversary, Friend.”- Unknown
10. “Your anniversary is a reminder that you are blessed enough to have found your soulmate, and that life has become so much sweeter since the day you became husband and wife. Happy Anniversary!”

These funny anniversary quotes can be used for any anniversary. In addition to 10-year anniversary quotes and 20-year anniversary quotes, you’re sure to find the perfect saying to match their personalities.