World of Warcraft has always had something of a love affair with charming fictional dishes, and now the alpha reveals a bunch of intriguing new WoW Dragonflight recipes – which we’ll rank in order of deliciousness.
The MMORPG game‘s dedication to evocative foodstuffs has even resulted in an official WoW cookbook, so any mook can make themselves a batch of spicy Dragonbreath Chili. Dragonflight will be no exception to this trend, as in the latest alpha build Blizzard has made a whole host of aromatic comestibles available to try. Rather than just give you a dry list, however, we’re going to rank all of them by how tasty they sound.
1 – Hoard of Draconic Delicacies
Buff – 35 to your highest secondary stat.
We don’t know for certain what exactly Draconic food is like, but we imagine it’s fiery as a dragon’s maw and that’s all we need to know – and ‘hoard’ suggests there’ll be a lot of it.
2 – Yusa’s Hearty Stew
Buff – 35 to your lowest secondary stat.
Is there anything better than a good thick stew, served perhaps with some fresh crusty bread? Other than a load of spicy dragon food, we can’t think of anything.
3 – Aromatic Seafood Platter
Buff – 21 Haste & Versatility.
‘Aromatic’ is rarely used for things that don’t smell great. “That rubbish bin is so aromatic” just doesn’t scan. We can smell that delectable ocean deliciousness right now. Mmmm.
4 – Sizzling Seafood Medley
Buff – 21 Haste & Mastery.
‘Sizzling’ calls to mind a platter of food brought to your table on a hotplate in a fancy fish restaurant. We can taste it from here. It would be better if it smelled nice, though.
5 – Thrice-Spiced Mammoth
Buff – 12 Stamina & 6 Intellect.
A mammoth so nice they spiced it thrice. Mammoth isn’t likely to be the most delicate of meats, but bung enough spices on it and you could make a shoe appetising. There’s likely to be a lot of it, too.
6 – Roast Duck Delight
Buff – 12 Stamina & 9 Intellect.
What’s so delightful about this duck? We may never know, but it sounds like a tasty treat. We’d order this in an Earth restaurant, let alone one in Azeroth.
7 – Feisty Fish Sticks
Buff – 21 Haste & Critical Strike.
Here’s hoping that “feisty” refers to the flavour profile, and not the energy level of this seafood dish.
8 – Braised Bruffalon Brisket
Buff – 12 Stamina & 9 Strength.
A serviceable dish, sure to fill the stomach, but perhaps not wow the taste buds.
9 – Scrambled Basilisk Eggs
Buff – 12 Stamina & 6 Agility
Scrambled eggs are really a foodstuff that needs accompaniment – without toast or hash browns, they fall squarely in the middle of the pack.
10 – Salt-Baked Fishcake
Buff – 35 Mastery
Has the potential to be higher on the list, but heavily salted seafood can often be overpowering.
11 – Charred Hornswog Steaks
Buff – 12 Stamina & 6 Agility
“Charred” can either mean “hideously overcooked” or “pleasantly grilled” – so as such these steaks get a middling grade.
12 – Great Cerulean Sea
Buff – 21 Versatility & Mastery
Likely a seafood chowder of some sort, but the name does not exactly scream edibility. Too much of a mystery.
13 – Seamoth Surprise
Buff – 35 Versatility
The “surprise” is learning what the hell a seamoth is when the waiter brings it to your table.
14 – Riverside Picnic
Buff – 12 Stamina & 9 Agility
Picnics are really defined by the locale. Eating an apple and a packet of Quavers in a Draconic hell pit seems like a poor experience.
15 – Salted Meat Mash
Buff – 28 Stamina
Ew. No.
16 – Revenge, Served Cold
Buff – 21 Critical Strikes & Versatility
Revenge feels good going down, but within 20 minutes you’re just hungry again.
17 – Thousandbone Tongueslicer
Buff – 21 Critical Strike & Mastery
They used to sell Thousandbone in deboned tins, but most people were unwilling to buy a small container of brine. Additionally, ouch.
18 – Timely Demise
Buff – 35 Haste
The name could either refer to the meat you’re eating, or you five minutes afterward. Either way, no.
That’s the entire menu for now. For more on changes coming in the latest Dragonflight alpha, check out our rundown of the Hunter changes, or learn about the addition of a notorious Hearthstone villain.