How to Give a Blow Job

Medically Reviewed by Poonam Sachdev on November 22, 2022
Written by Julian Selemin
5 min read

A blow job is a type of oral sex where a person stimulates their partner’s penis with their mouth and tongue. It can be a pleasurable experience for both persons — but it can seem intimidating if you haven’t given a blowjob before. So here’s what you need to know.

Oral sex refers to the act of stimulating a partner’s genitals or anus with your mouth and tongue. The pleasure can come from licking, sucking, kissing, or any other activity that involves the mouth. When the receiving genital is a penis, the act is more commonly known as a “blow job”.

Blowjobs, along with other oral sex, commonly occur during foreplay, acting as a previous step to vaginal or anal penetration. However, blowjobs can also occur during or after intercourse. Similarly, you can give and receive a blowjob as an act on its own instead of it leading to penetration.

Research suggests that most people have had oral sex before having their first vaginal or anal penetration experience. Yet, giving a blowjob for the first time can raise many questions in your mind. As such, it’s essential to clear them before the act itself to avoid being nervous or anxious during the experience. For example, these are some common blowjob-related questions:

Who can give blowjobs? Anyone can give blowjobs, regardless of gender, age, or sexual orientation. There’s a lot of taboo surrounding oral sex, especially when it’s not between a man and a woman. However, anyone should feel comfortable giving blowjobs as long as all the persons involved have given their consent.

What is it like to get a blowjob? There isn’t a clear guideline regarding how you’ll feel during a blowjob. Sensations can range from pain to extreme pleasure, so try to mentally focus on what feels good while you’re discovering oral sex. If you don't feel comfortable at any point, don’t be afraid to ask your partner to stop the act.

Blowjobs can seem intimidating if you’ve never given one before. Yet, oral sex is all about discovering each other’s bodies, so don’t be scared if you don’t know what to do at first — most people figure it out along the way. But if you want to get a general idea, here's how a blowjob usually goes:

  1. The first step before giving your first blowjob is clearing out all the doubts in your mind. Try to get a basic idea of the penis anatomy and think about how you want it to go. Do you want to let him cum in your mouth? Do you want it to stop before that? Would you prefer to avoid the testicles? Clearing these questions beforehand can go a long way in making the act more enjoyable for everyone.
  2. Once you’re with your partner, starting with some foreplay before oral sex is always a good idea. This will help you both feel at ease and excited about oral sex. At the same time, foreplay can help him get hard before the blowjob starts. But remember that if either of you feels uncomfortable, it’s okay to stop at any stage.
  3. Get your mouth close to the penis when you're ready to start. You can start by licking and kissing it — but at this point, it’s all about what you and your partner enjoy. For example, you could also start by putting the penis directly inside your mouth or gently stroking it with your hand if your partner isn’t hard yet.
  4. Now it’s all up to you and your partner. Try to find a comfortable pace and experiment with different areas of the penis and your mouth. You can vary whether you use your tongue, add some stroking with your hand, and how deep the penis goes in your mouth. If you can’t tell what your partner likes, make sure to stop the blowjob for a second to ask him.
  5. Remember to stop at any time if you or your partner feel uncomfortable with what’s happening. Blowjobs often end when both persons want to switch to vaginal or anal sex. Otherwise, you can keep going until your partner cums, either in your mouth, inside the condom, or anywhere else.

A common belief suggests that oral sex is safer than vaginal and anal penetration. However, this isn’t entirely correct — experts suggest that giving and receiving blowjobs without a condom still carries a significant risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Here are some of the most common STIs associated with oral sex:

However, you can significantly reduce the risk of STIs by using a condom during oral sex. While no protective method will completely avoid STIs, taking preventive measures is essential for giving and receiving oral sex safely.

Is swallowing semen safe? While many people swallow semen as part of the blowjob experience, this also carries some risks. Some STIs are present in semen, including HIV. As such, you should only do this if you know for certain that your partner has checked himself for STIs.

Can blowjobs get me pregnant? Blowjobs can’t get you pregnant. The only way that this could happen is if the semen comes into contact with the vagina after the blowjob. However, this is very unlikely if you’re only doing oral sex.

Is gagging normal? Gagging is somewhat normal during blowjobs, although most people try to avoid it as much as possible. If you find that a particular technique or position triggers your gag reflex, try to switch over to other things. Over time, you’ll get to know your limits when it comes to gagging.

Some people, especially those who are inexperienced, often believe that blowjobs are the only form of oral sex — or at least the one that should be most prevalent. However, oral sex can also be performed on a vagina (cunnilingus) or on the anus (anilingus or “rimming”).

If you’re still unsure about how to perform or receive oral sex or the risks associated with it, make sure to check with a doctor. A trained professional can give you precise information about oral sex and help you clear your doubts.