How to Give a Blowjob

Medically Reviewed by Zilpah Sheikh, MD on May 14, 2024
Written by Julian Selemin
7 min read

Oral sex is the act of stimulating a partner’s genitals or anus with your mouth and tongue. A blowjob, sometimes called fellatio, is a type of oral sex in which a person stimulates their partner’s penis with their mouth and tongue. It can include licking, sucking, kissing, or any other activity that involves the mouth. 

Blowjobs, along with other types of oral sex, are often part of foreplay before vaginal or anal penetration. But you can give or receive a blowjob on its own, or during or after intercourse.

Research suggests that most people have oral sex before their first experience with vaginal or anal penetration.

Who can give and receive blowjobs?

Any consenting adult can give a blowjob, whatever their gender or sexual orientation. Any consenting adult with a penis can receive a blowjob.

What is it like to give or receive a blowjob?

Sensations could range from discomfort to extreme pleasure, so focus on what feels good for both partners while you’re discovering oral sex. Keep in mind that each person's anatomy, smell, and taste are different, and so is what they find pleasurable. If you feel uncomfortable at any point, don’t be afraid to stop or change what you're doing, or to ask your partner to do so.

Oral sex is all about discovering each other’s bodies, so don’t feel bad if you don’t know what to do at first. There's no one blowjob technique that works best for everyone. Most people figure out along the way what's right for them and their partner. But here's a general idea of how a blowjob might go:

  • Before giving your first blowjob, talk honestly with your partner about how you feel. Having any kind of sex for the first time could strain your relationship. If you don't think you're ready to give a blowjob and feel like your partner is pressuring you, let them know. Talk to them about how you'll make the experience safe, and tell them if you have any other concerns. The important thing is for you both to enjoy the experience.
  • If you're ready, try to get a basic idea of the penis anatomy and think about how you want the blowjob to go. Do you want to let your partner come in your mouth? Do you want it to stop before that? Would you prefer to avoid the testicles? Making these decisions beforehand can go a long way toward making the act more pleasurable for both of you. And it's OK if you change your mind along the way.
  • Once you’re with your partner, some foreplay before oral sex is always a good idea. This will help you both feel at ease and excited. At the same time, it can help your partner get hard. Try kissing, caressing, and touching with your hands. Just remember that if either of you feels uncomfortable, it’s OK to stop at any stage.
  • You might start the blowjob by licking and kissing the penis, but at this point, it’s all about what you and your partner like. You could also start by putting the penis inside your mouth and gently sucking. Add some stroking with your hand if your partner isn’t hard yet. Don't be afraid to ask your partner what feels good.
  • What happens next is up to you and your partner. Find a comfortable pace and experiment with various techniques using different areas of the penis and your mouth. You might vary whether you use your tongue and how deep the penis goes into your mouth. Using your hands gives you more control and adds sensation for your partner.
  • Pay attention to what your partner says and their facial and body language to get cues about what gives them pleasure. If you can’t tell what they like, stop the blowjob for a second to ask.
  • Blowjobs often end when both partners want to switch to vaginal or anal sex. Otherwise, if you want to keep going, you can do so until your partner comes, either in your mouth, inside a condom, or anywhere else.

Like all types of sex, oral sex carries a risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). You could get an infection in your mouth or throat from giving a blowjob to someone with a genital or anal infection. And if you have an STI in your mouth or throat, you could spread it to your partner's penis. Some infections, such as mpox, are also spread through skin-to-skin contact.

STIs that can spread through oral sex include:

How to reduce the risk of STIs

While there's no foolproof method to prevent STIs, preventive measures are essential for safely giving or receiving oral sex:

  • Use a non-lubricated latex condom during a blowjob (try polyurethane if your partner is allergic to latex).
  • Use a dental dam if you also stimulate your partner's anus with your mouth.
  • Don't give a blowjob to anyone with sores in their genital area.
  • Don't give a blowjob while you have sores or ulcers in your mouth.
  • Get tested regularly for STIs, including HIV.
  • Talk to all of your sex partners about their STI status.
  • Don’t brush or floss your teeth shortly before giving a blowjob. You could create tiny cuts that raise the risk of some STIs.

Is swallowing semen safe?

While many people swallow semen as part of a blowjob, this carries some risks. Some STIs can be present in semen, including HIV. So do this only if you know for certain that your partner has been checked for STIs. Never let someone pressure you into swallowing semen. Do this only if you want to.

Can blowjobs get me pregnant?

Blowjobs can’t get you pregnant. The only way that this could happen is if semen comes into contact with the vagina after the blowjob. But this is very unlikely if you’re only doing oral sex.

Is gagging normal?

Gagging is somewhat normal during blowjobs. But if it bothers you, tell your partner you don't want to do anything that makes you gag. If only a certain technique or position triggers your gag reflex, you can avoid it and switch over to other things. Over time, you’ll get to know your limits.

To make the most of the experience for both partners, consider some of these tips:

  • The penis is a sensitive organ, so start slowly and gently. Increase the intensity and pace if your partner is ready.
  • Hold their penis at the base as you perform the blowjob to help them stay hard and control how deeply they thrust. This can help you avoid a gag reflex. Add a twisting motion to your hand strokes for variation.
  • Try moving your tongue in different ways. You might swirl it around the head of the penis or make a flicking motion.
  • You can also turn and twist your head during the blowjob.
  • If you want to try the “deep throat” technique, start with your partner lying on their back while you lie on top or parallel to them. Then take their penis as deeply into your mouth as you comfortably can. Once you're both familiar with your limits, you can try a position that gives your partner more control if you like.
  • Never use your teeth unless you know your partner likes it. And always do so with care.
  • Try flavored condoms.
  • Experiment with stimulating your partner's testicles, the underside of the head of their penis (the frenulum), and the area between their testicles and anus (perineum).
  • Don't forget the rest of your partner's body. During the blowjob, you can use your hands to stroke their nipples, butt, ears, or whatever they enjoy.

 

Oral sex simply means using your mouth, tongue, throat, or teeth to sexually stimulate your partner. It can also be performed on a vagina (cunnilingus) or the anus (anilingus or “rimming”). There are lots of different ways to do it. Like anything else, it takes practice to do well.

Oral sex is a very personal preference. It can be a wonderful way to share pleasure with and get closer to your partner. But not everyone likes oral sex or wants to give or receive it. You and your partner will need to figure out what works for you and your relationship.

If you have questions about blowjobs and your safety, your doctor or the local health department might be one place to start. Some sources of sexual health information you can find online include:

A blowjob (fellatio) is a type of oral sex in which someone stimulates a partner’s penis with their mouth and tongue. There's no one right way to give a blowjob. You and your partner will need to communicate and experiment to find out what's pleasurable for both of you.

Can I give someone who is sleeping a blowjob?

It's never OK to have any type of sexual activity with someone who hasn't consented to it. Consent means clearly and freely communicating that you agree to a sexual activity. It can't be given by anyone who is asleep, unconscious, intoxicated, or underage.

Is a forced blowjob a type of sexual assault?

Sexual assault is having any type of sexual contact with someone who hasn't clearly consented to it. It includes forcing someone to give or receive oral sex.