You May Not Kiss the Bride (2011) - You May Not Kiss the Bride (2011) - User Reviews - IMDb
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4/10
I do like the story, but I absolutely dislike the misperceived origins from Croatia Warning: Spoilers
This movie is about an American photographer Bryan (who wanted to travel the world and take photographs of all the wonders he encounters along the way but he got stuck with taking photographs of pets in weird costumes) and a Croatian woman Masha (she wants to have her own dance studio) who are forced to get married so she can stay in the USA. The reason why he is forced to marry this girl he had never met, is because he had an incident with the cat (he was supposed to take photographs of her) which belonged to her mother. Her father is a mafia boss so he took that incident as a basis of making him marry his daughter but only on paper. Her father plans on marrying her for his best man when she gets a permit to stay in the USA and everything settles down. After the wedding,to fool the INS agents, they are also sent on a honeymoon. There she gets kidnapped and you would never believe who the kidnappers are (I will not tell you because it's one of the best parts of the movie). As you may have already assumed, they develop feelings for each other so he wants to rescue her without the help of her father. He is successful and she is returned unharmed to her parents. At that point her father agrees on them staying together but Bryan doesn't want to have anything to do with them anymore because of his near death experience and all the shooting and because her father is a criminal. The end of the movie is expected, it is a happy end but I will not spoil the surprise how it got that way. Maybe the best character in the movie is Ernesto, the guy who drives them around in a tropical resort and helps them along the way. He has the best jokes and the best unexpected (funny) behavior.

Now for the thing I hated most and was absolutely DISAPPOINTED with is the so-called Croatian origins. How could they not do at least a few minutes research to get at least one thing right??? I am from Croatia and I am insulted by it. The names (Masha, Vadik, Borislava...) and the accent they have and the wedding customs are all Russian, not Croatian in the slightest. And the music used on the wedding is Turkish/Russian... It is incredible how ignorant some people are. They needed a few minute research on the internet to pick some Croatian names, one of our songs for the wedding and one wedding custom to use. And what is with that accent of theirs? Typical Russian mafia accent used on the movies, Croatians are very adaptable and have a very easy ability to learn and pronounce other languages. In our weddings, we do not have the custom to shout "Gorko, Gorko, Gorko" (translation: bitter), so a groom would kiss a bride. It is disgraceful to use Russian style and perception under a Croatian name. If they wanted to use our country as the base of the story they should have learn about it and do at least one thing right. They completely misjudged and misused our name, our country and our customs. For me, that ruined the whole movie, the interesting story and quite a few very funny moments.
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A fun story with entirely predictable outcomes
Gordon-113 September 2015
This film tells the story of a pet photographer who is forced into a marriage with the daughter of a criminal mastermind, so that she can get a green card to stay in the USA.

The film starts off with a very bad sequence of a cat and a dog creating havoc. Fortunately, the film gets better after that. The story takes us to the really beautiful Tahiti, where every natural scenery is better than postcards. The story is very predictable, Rob Schneider's character is annoying and the rather raunchy girlfriend wannabe is unbelievable, but "You May Not Kiss the Bride" is still a very entertaining film to watch.
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3/10
Silly Rom-Com! 3/10
leonblackwood1 February 2014
Review: This movie is more silly that funny. I found the leading character pretty annoying, and Vinnie Jones is playing his usual cockney hard nut, but if you don't take the movie seriously then it's just harmless fun. The storyline is really unbelievable, and the ending was pretty corny, but that's what you expect from a Rom-Com nowadays. I was surprised to see Kathy Burke in such a weak movie, but she didn't play a major role. As I hadn't really heard of this movie before, I didn't have high expectations so I wasn't massively disappointed. Average!

Round-Up: If this film had a leading character that wasn't so dumb, then it might have been half decent, but he just got on my nerves after a while. It's obvious that the director didn't really think the storyline through that well because it got ridiculous after a while. It just goes from one weird scene to the next, which makes its unpredictable in some ways, but silly in another. It was a waste of a good cast, except for the leading character, but you can tell that there wasn't a big budget so it shouldn't have been a massive lose.

Budget: $6million Worldwide Gross: N/A

I recommend this movie to people who are into there silly Rom-Com's about an arranged marriage that goes totally wrong. 3/10
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2/10
Terrible, a complete waste of time.
iraz22 September 2012
OK, it's a romcom, but does that mean it has to be dumb, unfunny, and trite? Obviously those who make such movies feel the movie viewing public must want their romantic comedies made like this. This film was made in 2009 and is just now seeing some viewing light. They should have kept it hidden and maybe burn all the copies. A complete waste of time. You can have as many decent actors in a film, but if the writing is poor and the script is an insult to our intelligence, you get what this film is - a mess! Nothing makes sense here, the acting is terrible but the script is so poor and filled with so many things we've seen before that most of us could write a better story without much effort.
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7/10
Pets in costumes and a forced marriage, what else could you wish for?
paul_haakonsen27 August 2012
I actually enjoyed this romantic comedy. Sure it was as predictable as they come, but still it provided some good entertainment. The movie had all that you could want, more or less, in a movie; comedy, laughs, action, gun fights, car chases, and great scenery.

The story in "You May Not Kiss the Bride" is about Bryan Lighthouse (played by Dave Annable) who works as a pet photographer, who lives a fairly unromantic life. His mother (played by Kathy Bates) is breathing down his neck, asking for him to get married and give her grandchildren. One day, while on the job, Bryan's assistant Tonya (played by Mena Suvari) cause an accident involving a client's cat. The owner of the cat is the wife of a Croatian mobster (played by Ken Davitian), and he forces Bryan into marrying his daughter, Masha, (played by Katharina McPhee) so she can become an American citizen. But the mobster's minion (played by Vinnie Jones) is in love with Masha and doesn't approve of this marriage. The 'happily married' couple embarks on a fake honeymoon to a tropical resort where things get out of hand.

I found the story to be rather enjoyable and fun. It had a bunch of great moments. And the story was really helped along by the cast of great actors and actresses they had brought in. Especially Dave Annable was doing a tremendous job in this movie. But also Rob Schneider (playing Ernesto) and Tia Carrere (playing Lani) was doing good jobs as well. The story is fun to watch, and it has just the right amount of romance and comedy to it.

The characters in the movie were well-played and had good depths and personalities. Each were given good time to shine on the screen, and no one really came off as drones or generic characters.

I loved the idea they had come up with when one the kidnappers got that laminating resin thrown on his and the bucket was removed from his face. I was laughing so hard at the result of that. It was just brilliant.

If you enjoy romantic comedies, then you should check out "You May Not Kiss the Bride". It has a great love story, it is filmed in really beautiful locations, and it is great fun to watch. Don't' miss out on this one.
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5/10
nothing funny
SnoopyStyle9 July 2019
Bryan Lighthouse (Dave Annable) is a pet photographer in Chicago and Tonya (Mena Suvari) is his clingy assistant. He is taken by a Croatian mobster after an incident with his wife's cat. Bryan is forced to marry his daughter Masha Nikitin (Katharine McPhee) in a visa marriage. Brick (Vinnie Jones) is the gangster's henchman. Bryan's mother (Kathy Bates) actually tells him to marry her. The girl turns out to be nice and normal. INS agents are on the case. During their tropical honeymoon, they encounter the weird helicopter pilot Ernesto (Rob Schneider) and his cousin waitress Lani (Tia Carrere).

I have never heard of this movie. I'm surprised at the good cast. The extensive cast is not actually bad except for Schneider. By this point, he should come with a warning. Funny enough, he's probably the only true comedian of the bunch. Quite frankly, I can see this as an Adam Sandler movie with all of his gang. I have never heard of Rob Hedden. He seems to have been a Hollywood journeyman. The main issue is that non of this is actually funny. Annable and McPhee are not comedic powerhouses. At best, they're the straight men in a comedy. They need an actual comedian and Schneider is not close. Also I'm a little tired of Annable. This is not so bad that it becomes funny again. It's trying to be a fun silly comedy and it doesn't have that. On the other hand, Hawaii does look beautiful.
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4/10
Away with the bride
Prismark1029 October 2014
A rather silly, uneven, flawed but appealing romantic comedy where pet photographer Bryan gets forced to marry a Croatian woman Masha, by her crime lord father so she can get fast tracked citizenship and make amends for injuring the family cat. Strangely Masha does not have much of a Croatian accent.

In order to convince the immigration service, they are sent off to honeymoon to Tahiti. Of course Bryan is told to keep his hands to himself as this is just a paper marriage and his father's henchman, Vinnie Jones has first tabs on Marsha. However Bryan is smitten with Marsha but she is kidnapped and a ransom is demanded. Bryan with some help tries to rescue her, but her family thinks he is involved in the kidnap.

The film has lots of flaws. Why does Marsha's father try to bribe the Immigration Service officials? Why does he want his daughter to marry Vinnie Jones when Marsha despises him. Why does Mena Suvari lust after Bryan and act like a stalker?

Its only the charms of the two leads and Tia Carrere that propels this uneven film. Rob Schneider does his unfunny shtick as if he is still in an Adam Sandler movie. There is some beautiful scenery as the film was shot in Hawaii, there are a few star cameos and its surprisingly sprightly despite the problems with the screenplay.
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7/10
Pleasant and predictable - lovely McPhee
phd_travel30 May 2013
This is a pleasant and slightly predictable comedy filmed in Hawaii. The premise is cute. A marriage arranged for a green card for a Mob Boss's daughter turns into true love on a honeymoon on a resort island. Some parts are a bit slapstick and silly. It is obviously not a huge budget rom-com but it is still worth watching.

There are some winning performances. Katharne McPhee is lovely and slimmer than on Idol here. She shows she can act as well as sing. Dave Annable tries hard with the slightly silly material he is given. Rob Schneider was a bit under used considering he is the biggest comic star in the movie. Kathy Bates is a little under used as well. Tia Carrerre is a bit plumper and older but suits her role.
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7/10
Light romantic comedy .... Definitely a one time watch
hanish-sharma28 February 2013
I was randomly searching movies in comedy genre when a found this one ... i liked the title ... so decided to see it ... I had very few expectations from it ... but as the movie progressed i fell in love with the characters ... Both the lead actors r very cute and fit perfectly in their role ... the location chosen for the shooting is out of this world ... its not a brilliant movie , i should tell u ... but u can have a good time watching it in your free time ... it'll lighten u up ... i found it much better than movies which uses vulgar words or situations to bring out the humor ...

Don't think too much about the research work , the plot and the reasoning ... production team has not put much effort on that ... but come on , after all its a movie NOT a science project ... So just sit back and relax ... Have a good time .... after all thats what movies r made for :)
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8/10
People, it's a comedy!
albibarcelona4 July 2012
According to me a comedy is supposed to make you laugh, and this movie does. You can say it's not deep and it may have some flaws, some mislead facts and stuff but people, do you watch a comedy to learn about history? NO, you watch it for entertainment and this movie is hilarious on many occasions. To all those who rated this movie with a 4 or 5...think about the purpose of the movie, if you want a deep,meaningful movie then this isn't for you but if you just want to sit back and have a laugh then don't hesitate. Very decent comedy and quite different from the cliché Hollywood romantic movies. Everything has it's purpose. I didn't laugh this much since Due Date.
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2/10
Awful and as mediocre as it could have gotten
saadgkhan16 August 2012
Warning: Spoilers
You May Not Kiss the Bride – TRASH IT (C-) YOU MAY NOT KISS THE BRIDE is a charming tale of adventurous high jinx and budding romance involving an unassuming pet photographer (Annable) who is thrown head first into a series of unforeseeable events when he's forced to marry a Croatian mobster's daughter (McPhee) and spend his honeymoon at a secluded Tahitian resort where the bride is kidnapped. Everything is wrong in this movie from the beginning, you have serious actor Dave Annabel playing a rom-com lover then you've an American Katherine McPhee playing a Croatian girl. C'mon change the characterization if you wanted to cast these two together. Dave Annabel & Katherine McPhee try to do their best but they're mismatch and miscast in the movie. Mena Suvari don't care about blows to her acting career as since American Beauty & American Pie franchise she has not done anything worth remembering. Even still Rob Schneider, Kathy bates, Tia Carrer & Mena Suvari try to bring some comic relive in the movie. On the whole, it's a time pass but very tedious predictable movie, better not waste your time and brains on it.
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1/10
Movie without any effort
hbit011 July 2012
Hi! This is just one of the movies where everything go bad from the start. It seems that sponsorship of one tropical island and shooting on their locations are only purpose of making this movie. When you writing the script you must have some right facts, but that is not the thing in this script. Writer/director has choose some random country for birthplace of lead actress. "Croatian bride Masha Nikitin", with surname that don't exist in Croatia (i have searched) and name is so rare. Nikitin is from "son of Nikita", and it is Russian surname and Masha is Russian name. Why Croatia then? Maybe because father of bride looks and talks like Croatian guy? No, he looks like more like Bulgarian, talks Russian English (you can compare his accent with Goran Visnjic in ER - he IS from Croatia - and look too...). OK, then this is because of joke about coffee in Croatia? No, look at American winning documentary Wow Croatia, where is mentioned that around noon in working time coffee shops are full of people drinking what? Coffey! Because it is bad? No! Because it is good! Lead coffee maker in Croatia, Franck is formed 1892, and in Croatia it is big influence of Italian coffee products and Nestle... And that is just start of the movie. I think i don't need write more...
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Exactly as rated 5.1 stars
daysky25 November 2013
This movie had one of the most unrealistic plots I have ever seen... such as a very conveniently located canoe.

That said, I watched the whole thing...

So basically it is watchable: even cute at moments, incredibly dumb at others

A high point is the island... it is gorgeous

It actually made me consider a career in scriptwriting... I know I can write at this level for sure!

Keep your expectations low, and you won't be disappointed Actually, if you watch it with your boyfriend, he will probably enjoy it if he likes action scenes and crude humor (just a few things, but for me they detracted from the already flimsy story in my opinion)
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6/10
starsWHEN YOU'RE HUNGRY, EVERYTHING LOOKS GOOD
nogodnomasters6 December 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Brian Lighthouse (Dave Annable) photographs pets in clothes for a living. His new assistant Tonya (Mena Suvari) is sexy, playful and is in love with Brian who for some reason avoids her advances. Through some poorly scripted circumstances Brian finds himself in a position where he must marry Masha (Katharine McPhee) the daughter of a crime boss (Ken Davitian) in order for her to obtain her green card. After a year, the marriage will be annulled and she will then marry the overly jealous Vinnie Jones. Dad and Vinnie forbid consummating the relationship, even as they honeymoon in Tahiti.

Brian's under utilized mom (Kathy Bates) offers little in the way of helpful advice as she is a stay at home mom. The poorly conceived plot drags along and then at about 45 minutes into the film, we get the twist and the movie becomes a watchable comedy, formula and all. This will work as a date night film and perhaps a teen family night. Mena "Kitten" Suvari steals all the scenes. Her part was written better than Katharine McPhee.

Parental Guide: No f-bombs, sex, or nudity. Some sexual double entendre.
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5/10
Missed Opportunity to Make a classic
swedish_chef_dave27 July 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I am a fan of silly comedy action movies, think of true lies as an example and this had the story to be one but alas it ran out of money while filming the last half first leaving the beginning without a budget or script, The introduction was truly awful with a poorly written script and terrible acting, the lead actor was OK but just not powerful enough to carry the scenes and did not have any comedic ability, I was about to turn it off but I wanted to write a review on this one so i persevered. Once the cast arrived in Tahiti and Rob Schneider appeared and the lead woman had some real acting to do the movie came to life and the plot came together. Katharine McPhee is a stunningly beautiful actress and was really believable in her part and she and the supporting cast along with Rob pulled the movie along quite nicely, Vinnie Jones is type cast as a hard nut job wanting to kill everyone but he can only overact these days through gritted teeth. but he was OK. Overall with better scripting and maybe a better lead actor the movie could have provided a base for a true classic but the B movie hall of fame is full of almost classics, if it was ever intended to be a comedy it missed the mark by a mile, but the last 45 minutes had me entertained, Rob Schneider should have been let loose far more in this and he could have carried it along better.
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1/10
Wrong Country or writer
robigrg23 July 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Writer of this movie script thinks that people in US are not educated and they don't know anything about geography and Europe. Movie is cheap, unintelligent, and writer is too.

Nothing new, boring, not funny. doesn't have spirit in it. waste of money. Writer of this movie script thinks that people in US are not educated and they don't know anything about geography and Europe. Movie is cheap, unintelligent, and writer is too.

Nothing new, boring, not funny. doesn't have spirit in it. waste of money.Writer of this movie script thinks that people in US are not educated and they don't know anything about geography and Europe. Movie is cheap, unintelligent, and writer is too.

Nothing new, boring, not funny. doesn't have spirit in it. waste of money.
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7/10
Surprisingly good attempt at this genre
terrsgc27 April 2015
I am glad to see they are still making decent movies in this genre (Romantic Comedy Blended with Action/Adventure). One Sunday I noticed this movie was airing on MoviePlex, and even though it was already a few minutes into the movie I gave it a watch. (I came in at the wedding.) I'd never heard of this movie or the two lead actors, and I expected it to be pretty bad. I was mistaken. The story was a bit silly, but nonetheless allowed for suspension of disbelief. Once the key event occurred and the action commenced, the pace was maintained pretty well with just enough laughs mixed in with the action to keep me on the couch and pleasantly entertained until it was over. It wouldn't (and didn't) win any Oscars, but it was far from a waste of two hours.

ACTING I had never heard of their names, but I quickly recognized the lead actress and actor from their TV work. They both did well as movie leads. I was surprised to see the two of them backed up by bigger names like Tia Carrere and Rob Schneider, along with Mena Suvari and Vinnie Jones. Everyone performed their roles well. I like Rob Schneider, but I usually don't like his movies. That's because a little Rob Schneider goes a long way and you usually get way too much. We got just the right amount of Rob Schneider in this one.

OTHER This was not a low-budget movie. It was filmed in a gorgeous Tahitian setting, and the cinematography, chase sequences, and helicopter effects were outstanding.

FOR PARENTS There is nothing in this movie that should keep most parents from letting their kids see it. While there are SOME amorous antics, they are extremely tame. The language is G rated as well. The main protagonists have decent morals, and one of their allies' lesser morals are depicted as silly. Vet the show if you feel you are a little stricter than mainstream.
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1/10
Not Even A Time Waster
kandit12 January 2016
Warning: Spoilers
This movie is very predictable and is so from early on. Versions of it have been done plenty of times before. Here is a quick summary: Photographer almost kills cat of Mafia boss's wife. Croatian mafia boss (more on that later) gives man choice to die or marry daughter (who speaks perfect English) to get her a green card. Man agrees to marriage. Woman kidnapped during honeymoon. Man saves woman. They fall in love with each other. The End.

Now to the Croatian aspect of the movie. As a Croatian, I didn't have a problem with a mafia boss being from Croatia as their are bad people in all countries but at least the filmmakers could have made a real effort. The names were all wrong, the accents were all wrong, the music was all wrong, Croatians don't make borscht and the coffee is actually very good. Half of Europe could tell you the above.

If you think of calling your mom first after a legitimate death threat is something you would do and she would suggest you get married because she wants grandchildren would be her answer, then this is the movie for you. It was not for me.
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a salad
Kirpianuscus26 April 2016
at first sigh, a crazy comedy. who use stories, motifs, clichés,actors in chaotic manner. who seems be result of improvisation because the script is reduced at a simple idea , present in many romantic films of the last decade. she and him. different at whole. together against danger, risks, adventures. at the second sigh - good occasion to new meet Kate Bates in a crazy role. this could be the basic virtue. except the landscapes. short, one of films who are the best option to waste the time. no story, no acting, no need of attention. only a salad/ maybe shawarma with a lot of ingredients . or only a summer delight for comfortable evening. few action scene, a surrogate of romanticism. and a crazy story. that is all.
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8/10
You may have to run for oxygen, you will be laughing so hard
inkblot114 August 2019
Bryan (Dave Annable) is a doing-well pet photographer who caters to the rich and their animals. His new assistant (Mena Suvari) has some clever ideas to manage the creatures and an over-active crush on her boss. One fateful day, two dogs get loose and chase a prized cat to injury. The feline's owner happens to be the wife of a Croatian mobster and he is not pleased with a cat wrapped up in splints. To exact payment, this mobster kidnaps Bryan and declares he must marry his daughter so she can get a green card. Or else. Aghast, Bryan can do nothing but say yes. But, hoho, the daughter, Masha (Katherine McPhee) is a beauty with a sweet nature. The only catch is, Bryan can not touch her after marriage but must leave her alone FOR A YEAR until the annulment happens. This, after dad sends them on a honeymoon to the South Pacific islands. There, they meet a goofy helicopter pilot (Rob Schneider) and a lovely hotel employee (Tia Carrerre). Sparks fly between the couple, for Masha is soon in swimwear and fetching. But, when the couple goes to a secret cover, Masha is taken hostage. Can Bryan save his new wife from danger and win her affections? This funny, funny romcom had this viewer laughing til it hurt. The cast is just marvelous, with Suvari, Schneider, Carrerre, Kathy Bates, and the rest cracking joke after joke while the winsome duo of Annable and McPhee are adorable, too. The scenery (all shot in Hawaii) is breathtaking while costumes, script and direction combine to make one great chucklefest. So, don't delay. You may now run to find this movie anywhere you are able.
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9/10
I Loved It!
danielcvillena1 June 2014
This film is just those films that has everything in it -- like Comedy, Romance, Action and adventure. The acting is also good, I am a big fan of American Idol and Smash so I know that Katharene McPhee will be just great on this Romantic/Comedy film. Dave Annable on the other hand was a surprise. Watched him on 666 Park Ave and I've never thought his acting would be that convincing for his character on this film. The storyline is simple but you'll get hooked to it. I don't know why the rating for this film here on IMDb is so low. I gave it a 9 because it made me fall in love with the characters. Just give it a try, if you're a fan of romantic/comedy films, Im sure you'll love this too.
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There's a reason guy should not write a romantic comedy, because he will turn it into an action movie
Sub_Captain18 November 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I think it's fair to say guys are into bad jokes, hot girls, gun shoots and actions, which is what this movie is about... A mixed of everything guys like into a romantic movie, resulting in a complete cracker of a comedy. Well I think it's hard to call this a rom com because it seems that the main focus of the movie is about the action and jokes instead of the romance between the main characters. The script is laughable (and weird in a funny way) and its very clear it's being written by and for men, which is probably why I find it very funny to watch.

Conclusion: it makes a good passing time movie for a lazy Sunday afternoon, suitable for men who are being forced by their significant other to watch a rom com without suffering too much pain
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1/10
Probably one of the WORST movies i've ever seen...
heathersmith0245 June 2019
Warning: Spoilers
You expect a meet cute and a twist or two then bonding then they fall in love...this had none of that! A convulted ridiculous plot...no screen chemistry etc etc..they spend like 60 seconds of real actual genuine time together and based on that they fall in love and get married for real? Besides the literal gun to his head, her mob father and her 'real' fiance who had her kidnapped for $25 million? Please. Burn this film. So many mistakes! #awful
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5/10
About what you would expect.
Jackbv12329 January 2024
This movie has Rob Schneider playing a dumb but macho wannabe hero. Much of the movie is about what you would expect from that, even if he isn't the main character.

Katherine McPhee is the romantic lead, Masha. Some of the movie is about what you expect from that, but not enough. David Annable's Bryan, the other lead, gets beat up a lot. Most of the time he is a sniveling wimp.

There are bad guys shooting guns a lot. There are chases. Masha's dad is a Croatian crime boss (sorry Croatia). There is South Pacific island scenery and there are people who look like that stereotype. There is a slut trying to hit on Bryan and even ruin his marriage. Tia Carrere is a waitress who tries to help Bryan. There are girls in bikinis, including McPhee briefly. There is plenty of sexual innuendo.

Some of the above things are almost funny. There is no real drama because the bad guys are lame and you know how it is going to turn out.

I'm sorry I watched this but for those who like this kind of mix of stupid comedy, some romance, and hapless danger, it might be worth a watch.
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6/10
Not too bad
ThisisFizban3 March 2022
Expectations are big when it comes to movies. That being said I went into this with low expectations and was pleasantly surprised. There was actual jokes and some thought put into the plot. Not much...but enough for it to be passable entertainment. It's a pretty random selection of character actors who all add some humor. Rob Schneider is hit or miss but he wasn't too bad in this. Anyways, go in with low expectations and you might be entertained.
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