My Name Is...! (Oregairu/OC)

AN: Forgot to post the stuff here, lol. If you want to read the original, rough draft, it's located here. Hope you enjoy this one, guys.

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Chapter 1: Status Quo


"Have you decided on your name?"

I stare at the silver-haired man in front of me, his glasses shining ominously in the afternoon light. The rest of his face was hidden behind a stiff plastic cover, a caricature of a fantasy battle printed on its hard exterior, with some of the paint starting to peel off. The air in the room was just as quiet as ever this time of day, which meant that the sound of dice hitting the table could be heard throughout the room. Once again, the tubby bastard had rolled behind my back. When we're still in character creation.

Truly, what an asshat. "No."

"Well, you are lucky to be blessed with such good fortune!" The bastard crowed, cackling like an evil mastermind just about to reveal his master plans, He liked doing it, even if his speeches were embarrassing to hear second-hand. "I, the Great General-Shogun, have foreseen such an event, and thus had prepared accordingly. Behold my benevolence, for I shall now bestow you a name befitting to one such as yourself–!"

"Zaimokuza..."

Alas, I was too late. The tubby bastard had snatched my character sheet out of his hands, and hid it behind the plastic screen that covered his side of the table. With great haste, he began scribbling onto my character sheet, and I dreaded what he would put in there. The worst part was, this wasn't the first time that he ran roughshod over my character's carefully-curated stats. Damn you. Damn you to the deepest pits of hell, Zaimokuza Yoshiteru.

Feris Thunderwrath will be forever remembered in my heart. Now stop shoving your poorly-written characters into my face. "There! Now, your name shall be known to the whole world as… Odachidono!"

He must've thought it a great name, to be able to scream it out loud. None of us shared the same opinion, however. Unlike me, Oto-sensei didn't pay a lick of attention to Zaimokuza, instead lazily poking away at the paperwork in front of him, as if hoping that some kind of magic spell would fill up the forms. Sadly, reality didn't work that way, which left our club advisor blankly staring at a small stack of paperwork with eyes that looked like he wanted to be anywhere else but here.

Going back to more present matters, my reply to Zaimokuza's declaration was simple and resolute. I glared, set my face into stone, and drawled back a reply. "And what's that supposed to mean? This is a DnD campaign, for goodness's sake."

The tubby bastard blinked, the confusion in his eyes genuine... or at least, from what I could see. "Didn't sensei tell you that we'd be doing homebrew campaigns this month?"

He didn't.

My glare turns towards Oto-sensei, still stuck in a self-perpetuating loop of poking the paperwork until it signed itself, but alas even my most venomous glares couldn't drag him out of his happy place. Truly, paperwork is a frightening thing. Hopefully I'd be able to avoid such a thing in the future. Still, I'd wish for our club advisor to be hounded by staplers and paper clips and whatever bureaucratic implements of torture that might be best used to optimize pain.

You don't just say that we're doing homebrew for the entire month without informing me, sensei. Have you seen Zaimokuza and his 'homebrews'? He'd be better off as a writer, for goodness's sake. A bad one yes, but I'd take his shitty writing over being force into one of his 'original campaigns' any day of the week.

"… He didn't." Zaimokuza nodded and hummed, nevertheless trying to shove my… 'changed', character sheet into my face. An action that I quickly swatted down with a glare, and slapping the damnable thing into the middle of the table. I will die on this hill, Zaimokuza. Your piddling editing skills wouldn't be able to break my will anytime soon.

"Well, since you lost the rock, paper, scissors match last meeting–" I blink, gawking at the tubby bastard to expound upon the matter, "–I was the first one to do a campaign and everything. Which is why, o' glorious retainer, that this entire game is set in the Warring States Era, serving as the devout vassal of the great Ashikaga Yoshiteru! This campaign's goal is to protect your liege's throne from conniving vassals and outside threats alike that seek to oust him from power, which would require a mix of diplomacy, politicking, and subterfuge–"

"Then why the hell are we using DnD?" I could think of a few systems that could work a bit better.

"–SILENCE! None shall question the wisdom of the Great General Shogun!" I truly did. Not to mention that his bout of screaming made me wince from the sheer volume. Where did you get your lungs, o' Great General Shogun? Do they grow larger the larger you are? If so, then I don't think that the extra size is worth the capability to blow out my eardrums. "… Now to be honest I wasn't exactly thinking about things that hard when I made this entire campaign, but it'll be fine! There's still gonna be adventures and stuff, so don't you worry."

I stare.

"Adventures and stuff." I parroted, dark thoughts passing through my mind as I wondered what was the best way to verbally butcher the tubby bastard in front of me. "Adventures and stuff, he said…"

"Yes, that's what I just said a few second ago. You don't have to repeat it, Niji-san." My eye twitched, but I knew better than to interrupt the tubby bastard now. Or well, I know that I should – goodness knows how many campaigns have been derailed by Zaimokuza's chuuni-ness, as of this point – but I just couldn't find it within myself to care.

"Now, you shall be playing as the great Ashikaga's foremost vassal and right-hand man. Rumors among the more disreputable members of the court has started to murmur that you and Ashikaga-dono are in a forbidden relationship with one another and–"

"Stop." I held out a hand as I did so, my expression just a few odd triggers away from blowing my top, "I know that it probably happened or something since you're the one doing research into all of this and stuff, but could we not?"

Zaimokuza stares. His gray eyes narrow behind his lenses, and pushes his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. Not to be outdone, I massage my temples to try and get rid of the small migraine that I am now currently experiencing, trying to reach out to the only adult in the room with faux-telepathy.

Oto-sensei, I would really like your help right now. It would certainly be nice if you stopped staring at the paperwork that you're supposed to fill out and help me with curbing Zaimokuza's tendencies to blabber about this topic or that.

"… We could, though?"

"No." I snap, letting out an aggrieved sigh. Fine, he's going to play hardball? I could do hardball. "... Also, we just met for a few weeks now. I'm... well, not glad, but something else comes to mind considering now that I know you feel this way about me, but this is neither the time nor place to do that."

He blinks. "Wait."

I ignored Zaimokuza and continued on with my own rambling, "Sure, you're pretty good to be around even when you're annoying around ninety percent of the time, but… This is just too fast of a time-frame? We only met a week ago. Also, I'm pretty sure that you're projecting something onto me if this is how you're going to do the campaign. While I'm on board with most of what you crap out most of the time – despite my abject objections otherwise – I have the sinking feeling that this is going to be stepping out of line and–"

"No, it's really not like that, so you better shut it before someone hears!" Zaimokuza hurriedly replies, leaning forward to put a hand over my face. He blatantly ignored the fact that he had to topple over the plastic cover while doing so, which meant that I could take a sneak peek at all of his notes. "... Um, well. Besides, there's better options out there, Niji-san. No offense."

That's pretty offensive.

Still, I'll let that slide out of the -- hrk -- goodness of my heart. I let out a sigh, waving a hand in front of Oto-sensei, and this time the attempt to get his attention had apparently done something. I watched as our wayward advisor's eyes followed my limb in a trance, before turning back towards my conversation partner. "Look Zaimokuza, while it's pretty interesting and all that, I think you better change the names unless you want to look like you're projecting yourself onto something. That, and let me change my character's name."

"But the historical accuracy–"

"All of it's make-believe, there's no historical accuracy."

The tubby bastard growled. "It's a point in your favor o' glorious retainer, but there's something more spicy in the way that these events could translate into real life!"

"There's nothing spicy about this." I snapped back, quickly using my phone to search the internet for something related to this 'Odachidono'. A few clicks later, an article from good ol' Wikipedia, and checking the sources in the excerpt leads me to change my expression into something resembling utter disgust, flipping my phone around and showing it to Zaimokuza. "There. Read that. Read that, and tell me if there's anything spicy about that. I'm waiting."

It takes a few seconds of the tubby bastard reading through the article, but Zaimokuza seems to stand by whatever he found, turning towards me with a hard expression. "It is as written, o' glorious retainer. Nonetheless, the article does not go into the depths of such a relationship, so it should be fine, yes? It serves as perfect background material for the backdrop of the Warring States Era, and–"

He didn't read it at all.

"First off, none of those made any sense whatsoever." I cut in, "And second, are you really trying to make me explore whatever depths of debauchery these… whatever these two did?"

Zaimokuza groaned, rolling his eyes at me. Oh, he was exasperated alright, but I was the one who reached that state of exasperation first, and so I'm the one that's going to be left standing after all of this is over. "Come on Niji-san, the relationship between the two isn't entirely that bad–"

"'The strong sexual love relationship between Yoshiteru and his squire, Odachidono'." I drawled. "It's right there, written word for word, and if you think that it's a good idea for both of us to act this sort of tripe out, then I'm not gonna do so."

I crossed my arms over my chest and let out a scoff. Zaimokuza blinks, snatching my phone a second later, and he begins reading through the article once more. A few seconds later, he drops my phone on the table, the blood draining from his face.

Words could not describe the feeling of victory on my lips, all but expressed into the smuggest of smirks. "… I see you actually read through the damn thing this time around."

"Bwuh?"

With a grumble, I take my phone back and stuff it in my pockets, letting out a few curses at the tubby bastard while he was in the middle of having some sort of mental breakdown. Alas, such a waste of time spent world-building whatever crazy world that Zaimokuza had written up. His efforts shall be regarded as a mastercraft of what not to do when you're working off on incomplete information.

Hence, why I decided to steer the conversation into a more productive train of thought. Which of course, first entailed snapping our club advisor's attention out of his paperwork-induced coma.

Oto-sensei shrieked, the sound of my hands slamming against the table sending him into action… and scrawling out an ugly line throughout the form that he was supposed to be filling out. He took one look at the form, one look at the pen, then turned towards me with a frown. At least, I think it's a frown Frankly, it was more or less a disapproving pout than anything else. "Niji, I was working!"

"Spacing out isn't what I'd call 'working'." I drawled, clapping my hands to garner Zaimokuza's attention. "Now onto more pertinent topics, gentlemen. As you can see, our little 'club' has nothing but two members, Oto-sensei excluded since he's a grown-up, and is supposed to be doing whatever teachers do in their off time."

"Hey…" I ignored our club advisor who had begun filling out more paperwork, and turned towards the tubby bastard with a raised brow.

"Is there anything bad about that?" I ignored Zaimokuza's question as well. My hands slam the table, making the pair jump once more, and I speak.

Loud, clear, concise. An outside observer might testify that I was yelling, but sadly witness testimonies are unreliable unless they have some solid evidence. "As of a month since the formation of this 'club', we've got two members. Two! A month since the school year started, and with the whole shebang of recruiting individuals having come and gone, and nothing. Not even a third member so we could be nominally considered as a 'club'!"

"Glorious retainer, like I had iterated but a few moments ago, is there anything bad about that–"

"Yes, there's something bad about that!" I shrieked, pointing a hand in Zaimokuza's direction, politeness and manners be damned. "We can't play tabletop games with two people and a deadbeat club advisor, we need at least five! Or four. Most likely four, since you don't seem like the type to interact with other people all that much–"

""Hey!""

"What, it's true! Don't say otherwise."

Oto-sensei tried to speak, but quickly withdrew his objections and grumbled to himself, scribbling down a few more sentences in the forms that he was supposed to be filling out. As such, it left both Zaimokuza and I to have the same wayward conversation from the week before. This time however, things were going to be different. I was going to drag Zaimokuza out of this club room, force him to go recruiting with me, and–

"O' glorious retainer, you mistake your liege's lack of capability with other individuals as a sign of my weakness, but nay! I have scouted out an individual that might be a good fit for this club of ours!"

That... was a surprise.

Zaimokuza looked smug as all hell as I gawked at him, and even went into a pose that only demonstrated his chuuni-ness for all to see. Sadly, I was the only one who was able to see it, and thus my boos and jeers were unable to get through the bastard's thick skin. "Fufu, bask in the gloriousness that is I, the Great General Shogun."

I had only one response. "Did you bribe someone?"

"No!" The tubby bastard shrieked, "He's just someone I know from PE classes, is all! You know the days in practicals where we team up with another class and do exercise in the yard and the like?"

Yes. Even if the mention of PE made me want to retch from phantom muscle cramps. "Go on..."

"Well, he's from another class. I met him a year ago."

My nose scrunches in confusion. And irritation. And a dozen other emotions that went through me at the same time, until it more or less settled on exasperation. Which is to say, my normal expression when dealing with Zaimokuza. Oh, look the migraine from before is back... "Then why didn't you invite him here, then?"

Zaimokuza winced. "Well… he got taken up into another club."

"So?" I asked, not really getting where this was going, "Look, just because he got dragged into another club doesn't mean that you can't drag him back into yours. If they're your friend, then it should be easy to make them join the club that you're in."

At least, that's how I saw things. Judging by the tubby bastard's hunched shoulders however, it might seem that things are more complicated than I had expected. "I… well… Yeah, but… we're not exactly friends…? A-And… you know… them, and all that…"

For goodness's sake, this wasn't the time to be playing the pronoun game. We need people in this club, and I'll be damned if Zaimokuza tries to make it harder than it should be. "So you're not exactly friends with them? Alright, sure, I can still probably convince them to join. What's with 'them', though? Other people that you don't get along with?"

"He's… well…" He sniffs. For a second or two, I thought that Zaimokuza might be crying, but it was most likely a trick of the light, "… He's in a club with girls…"

...

Why.

What disservice did women do to you, Zaimokuza-- Actually, scratch that. I can see why. Even if it actually pains me to think about it, considering that you're by all means a decent enough guy. Still, I can see why others would get off to a wrong impression, what with the… chuuni-ness and all that. Nonetheless, I can work with this. The additional detail doesn't really dissuade me. Even if Zaimokuza thinks that it's a bit too much for his tastes.

"So, what's your friend-but-not-exactly-friend's name?" I ask, fingers drumming on the table with a clear air of exasperation around me. Whoever this person is, they had successfully managed Zaimokuza. For over a year, at that. That must count for something, right?

"Hikigaya Hachiman…" Zaimokuza mutters while twiddling his thumbs, "The Great Bodhisattva… The only one that I can truly call my equal…"

Alright, I can work with that. A quick search in the school's online directory leads me to the man. A Class 2-F, a frightening ID picture, and a… currently in the Service Club?

What the hell is that?

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Chapter 2: Round in Circles


The Service Club. From a quick search on the school's directory, it seems to be composed of just three people who stand around all day doing nothing but read books and the like. Which is of course, pretty stupid. If they wanted to read books, then they should've just joined the Literature Club. Of course, there's the possibility that were outcasts from the Literature Club themselves and wanted to stick it to them…

I'm probably thinking about this way too much.

Or perhaps I've been thinking about this way too little, when I learned that Yukinoshita Yukino was the head of the club.

My tongue clicked in distaste, already hoping that she wasn't there. A hand idly rubbed at the straps of my book bag, the other having held a phone that showed a map through the campus, which told me the directions from which to find this 'Service Club'. It wasn't as if I was lost, either. So long as I've got a map, I can probably lead myself to wherever I wanted.

No, the main reason why I was currently stalking back and forth the hallway outside the club itself was because I was unsure. Or psyching myself up. Or ensuring that when I barged into the room, I could swiftly turn around and schedule a retreat without batting an eye. Perhaps a mixture or combination of all three.

Or, hear me out here, I was a tad bit worried that the other member of my club was planning to ditch me. Granted, it's not the first time that Zaimokuza left me alone for a while, but he never truly stood me up, instead coming in at a later time than usual. That, and the tubby bastard sent me texts via email to tell me if he was coming late.

But five minutes of doing nothing but walking in circles had been enough to thin my patience, and so I checked my phone to see if there was anything new. Sadly, there was nothing. Not even a text message, not even a call, not a single thing that would allow me to ascertain Zaimokuza's status since he was usually so punctual–

Ring.

Finally!

To: Shinsei, Niji
From: Zaimokuza, Yoshiteru

Hearken, o' glorious retainer! Tis I, the Great General Shogun, Zaimokuza Yoshiteru! This scroll holds a message of dire import, which speaks of the reason as to why I am currently recalcitrant in joining you for the righteous crusade to add another member to our ranks.

For you see, I came to the Land of the Service Club two fortnights ago, beseeching them for aid with the draft of my latest magnum opus. It is with great horror and despair that I inform you that this attempt ended with the heretics within cursing my art with their bewitching snarls. After this incident, I swore to never revisit such a vile land able to produce such inhabitants, but I lack the forces to mount an invasion and torch these treacherous individuals to the last man.

… For now, of course. Let it be known that the Great General Shogun does not back down from a challenge!

TLDR not gonna come w/ u since they scare me, good luck tho

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

I sigh. The grip on my phone trembles as I flip my phone closed, shoving it down into my pockets before I lose my cool and throw it at the nearest wall. All the while, I curse Zaimokuza's name to the high heavens, damning his name to forever rot away in the annals of history… and I think I might be getting too enthusiastic in this. I better dial it down by a bit.

Still, Zaimokuza ditched me. What an asshat.

Going back on topic however, it didn't take a genius to know that I was in relatively dire straights. Alone, with my back-up apparently being too scarred from their last encounter to join me and having to face a potentially ugly situation, I had no choice but to turn around and walk away, heading back towards my club. There was no way I would be willing to face such suicidal odds alone. And if Zaimokuza wanted to complain at me for just walking off, then I can most certainly blame him for not having any back-up.

Alas, fate decided that now would be a good time to spit in my face and laugh, which is why I collided with someone. Or somethings.

"Hrng."

I grunt, taking a step back and craning my eyes upward to see… Hiratsuka Shizuka-sensei, the Christmas cake herself. Of course, I didn't voice such thoughts aloud on the promise of a swift, painful, and brutal death, but what I do know is that she was responsible for teaching Literature. While dressed in a lab coat. Oh, and she was also the club advisor to the Service Club, much like Oto-san.

"Yo", she greets, seemingly ignoring the fact that I had all but gotten a face full of her Shizukas, "What brings you out here at this time of the afternoon?"

I lied, of course. Not a very good lie, but considering my circumstances and the sudden appearance of one of my teachers from out of nowhere, I was forced to speak the first excuse that came to mind. "Exercising."

Which wasn't exactly wonderful. Hiratsuka-sensei snorts, crossing her arms over her chest, and I find my eyes glancing downwards for a second before snapping back up to somewhere less dangerous. Like that perfectly safe and empty hallway behind her. You can't fault me for looking, alright? "I don't think that going back and forth the door to the Service Club counts as an exercise."

"It is to me." Silence echoes in the hallway as Hiratsuka-sensei aims a raised brow in my direction. In all fairness, it is what I would call exercise. I prefer walking to other, more body-intensive abilities such as running, sprinting, jumping, or what-have-you. I was going to take it slow and steady, and not burn my body out when it's still relatively young. Or at least, that's my take on this entire situation.

Uh, wait. Where was I again? Right. Trying to convince Hiratsuka-sensei that I'm just exercising, to no avail. Well, it was a good shot, anyway. By my standards, at least. "Alright, I need help."

Her eyes slide forward towards the door leading towards the Service Club. I reply with a flat glare. She seemingly ignores my response as she puts an arm around my shoulders and begins to drag me towards the room itself. Being the sane individual that I am, I quickly begin calling out for help, only for Hiratsuka-sensei to roll her eyes and place a hand over my mouth.

My eyes glance about the hallway, all but looking for someone to get me out of this predicament, but alas I was only faced with a big, empty hallway.

Which meant that I was being dragged into my doom, whether I liked it or not.

"Oh come on, it's not that hard. Just waltz in, bang the door open, and ask. Is that too hard?"

"I will not be manhandled!" I shrieked. Or at least, tried to. The hand over my mouth made it seem like I was just letting outs grunts and 'mmphs' which makes it seem like I'm an unfortunate victim to something else more sinister. Still, that did not stop me trying, but my efforts have proven futile. It's what irritated me the most, to be frank. "Lrrng mnngh ghh!"

She didn't. Instead, what Hiratsuka-sensei did was open the door, and push me inside the room, using her own girth to block the doorway to freedom. But that was fine. I could just jump out the window to safety, and I'd never be seen again, in more ways than one. However, I wasn't that desperate. Not just yet.

"Yo! I found this little stray roaming around the hallway just outside, so I took them in."

Nevertheless, I swore revenge on Hiratsuka-sensei, even as I took a deep breath and faced the… three members of the club. Hooray for my heart rate, I guess. My nerves are the epitome of not-calm, but I nonetheless heard someone click their tongue when they stared at me. A mutual feeling, no doubt.

"Tch."

Yukinoshita I ignored as per usual, while Yuigahama had apparently colored her hair, which wasn't in the student directory, and I didn't even know that it was possible without the teachers telling you off. Which was… alright, I guess. No one said that I was working off complete and accurate information.

Still with my cursory glance at the two other members done, I turn towards the last. And there he was, my quarry. Zaimokuza's PE-buddy, and friend-but-not-exactly-friend.

His eyes looked much, much worse when I first saw them from the student directory. Was he a delinquent of some sort? Though if it means having more bodies to throw at Zaimokuza when the tubby bastard goes on one of his rants again…

"I have a request."

As one, both Yuigahama and Hikigaya glance towards Yukinoshita, who was in the steadfast process of ignoring my presence. Currently, she was lost in her own little world of tea, snacks, books, and staring out the window, which meant that the two remaining members of the Service Club bickered among themselves as to who would be willing to reply to my statement. One that Yuigahama apparently won, but considering Hikigaya's… him-ness, I think it was a good call.

Just… I'll get used to those eyes in one way or another. I really need another body against Zaimokuza. Please, pretty please. "What is it?"

The moment of reckoning. Or not, since I'm sure I could just postpone such an event until I eventually stopped beating around the bush. Which would take a while, I hope. Outright stating my purpose here was tantamount to suicide, especially with Hiratsuka-sensei still at the door for whatever reason. Go away while I poach one of your club members, I beg you!

"Our club needs more members."

"And that is…?" I pull out a recruitment pamphlet, and hand it over towards Hikigaya. Since you know, he was the one who asked, and it would hopefully make it easier for him to join. Please do. Ignore Zaimokuza's name on the pamphlet. We really need more people, please. "… Tabletop Gaming Club? The hell is that?"

"Mostly pen-and-paper games. Ones that you play on a tabletop – hence the name – and some dice. That, and your imagination." Hikigaya snorts at that, and well he probably has the right to, considering that the explanation sounded a little bit childish. That was my fault, but I'm blaming it on Zaimokuza nonetheless.

Nonetheless, it still didn't stop me from glaring at him. "It's a good hobby, if you have a few hours to spare."

Judging by Hikigaya's stare, I'm thinking that he wasn't too into this sort of thing. But that's… fine? I understand, though. Everything's still good so long as I manage to snag a couple of new members to throw at Zaimokuza, so as long as I could get any help with this matter, then It's… it's fine. I can deal with this. Probably. Keep calm, you're on top of things, so there's really no need for me to get worked up about this.

"Club recruitment ended a few weeks ago, so it's gonna be difficult to get some more members." Yuigahama piped up, and Hikigaya gave her the pamphlet. A quick moment of reading through it, and she rears back with surprise in her voice. "Wait, seriously?! You only have two members so far? You're not even a club at this rate!"

"Yes." And it's a bit of a sore point, so I'd like you to stop being so surprised about it. "Turns out not a lot of people are willing to give this one a shot. That, or they're just not interested."

"Unsurprising, given your lack of charisma."

I stared. For the first time since I came here, Yukinoshita spoke, and it was a snipe at my so-called 'lack of charisma'. Still, not like she was wrong, but it just made her seem petty. Which means that I could just ignore her and continue onward.

"Still", I pushed on, ignoring Yukinoshita's outburst, "I have a feeling that there's a few people out there who might find it interesting if they joined, or if they seat through a session and play along. Not a lot – I know that already – but enough that I feel like we'd get at least ten people throughout the entire school. It's… well, it's going to take some time to spread these things just by word of mouth alone, since we can't use the bulletin board, but–"

"Wait." I paused, turning my gaze towards Hikigaya. "You're acting like we're already on board for this."

... Huh. Alright, perhaps I was a bit hasty. Roll it back by a bit, and start over. "Ah, right. My apologies."

"Hikki, that's rude!"

No, no, Hikigaya's got a point. Just... alright, ignore their bickering for now, focus on what you were supposed to do. Which is recruiting Hikigaya into the club. It's... well, that part's all bungled up now thanks to me, but at least there's the back-up plan of spreading the word of our club around via word-of-mouth and getting potential recruits interested enough to sit in for a session and keep on coming. From then on, it's but a simple trick to get them to sign the membership forms for the club, and then I'll officially have another body to throw at Zaimokuza.

Yes, yes, it's all coming together quite nicely, if I do say so myself. Now I must engage in the obligatory 'I am an evil mastermind' laugh and I think I'm going to stop. Zaimokuza has been rubbing off on me these past few weeks since the club started, and I'm not sure if I should feel good about that or not.

"We won't be taking that request, Shinsei-san."

I roll my eyes at Yukinoshita's declaration, setting down her book on the table and overall looking more annoyed than usual. Mostly attributed to my continued presence in this room, no doubt. Or perhaps it was the way that I kept calm when she referred to me by my last name. "It's a perfectly serviceable request. Just something that you can do in your off-time, and some extra help to pump up the number of individuals in our club. That's all I'm asking for."

Yukinoshita sighs. Or if I were to be frank, lets out an exasperated breath that asks me as to why I'm still here. "I'll call for a vote. All in favor of taking the request?"

Only Yuigahama raised her hand, bless her. And as consolation, at least Hikigaya seemed reluctant with his silence. It's mostly due to the fact that I'm in a club with Zaimokuza, isn't it? It's fine. I understand. Truly. You don't need to elaborate, since I can understand your grievances. Perhaps spending more time than necessary with Zaimokuza isn't in your best interests, and I can respect you for that. A little bitter of course – who wouldn't be? – but I can see where you're coming from.

"Well, thanks for the help that you can give." Which was none. Nonetheless, I took the rejection in stride, turning back around to see that the doorway wasn't blocked, and made my way out of the room.

Hiratsuka-sensei was in the hallway, leaning against a concrete column while smoking a cigarette. My nose scrunched up as its fumes wafted over in my direction, trying to shoo it away with a wave of my hand, but alas, to no avail. After a few seconds, I grumbled and took in the secondhand smoke, beginning the trek back towards my club while bringing up my phone.

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Hiratsuka-sensei go inside the club room and close the door behind her, but I didn't care enough to stop and eavesdrop on the resulting conversation. Instead, I was busy checking my phone for any messages from Zaimokuza, and I was a bit surprised that the tubby bastard had messaged me. Not that I noticed earlier due to my phone being set to silent, as was the norm when you're in school.

To: Shinsei, Niji
From: Zaimokuza, Yoshiteru

Howd it go??

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

I sigh, and quickly type out a reply.

To: Zaimokuza, Yoshiteru
From: Shinsei, Niji

It's a bust.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

---

Chapter 3: Driving Through the Rain


With recruiting Hikigaya botched and my (frankly) tame request for the Service Club denied, Zaimokuza and I were out of options. Well, relatively speaking. We still tried to spread around the existence of our little gathering – it wasn't a club until we had three members, after all – but the immutable fact remained that the time for club recruitment had been done a few weeks back. Putting up posters on the bulletin would also constitute as an offense, since we needed approval for that.

Suffice to say, we were out of ideas.

"Got something on your mind?"

I glanced towards my guardian, finding his eyes focused on the road. With a sigh, I leaned my head against the car's headrest, and allowed it to prop me up to an extent. At the very least, it made sure that I didn't mind the seatbelt digging into my shoulder, and kept my irritation on the down-low.

My eyes stare out the windshield, watching the rain pitter-patter down onto the glass and slide down in streams, only to be swept away by the wipers a few seconds later. It was a calming, relaxing sight, but it certainly didn't take me away from the fact that I was mostly buying for time to get my thoughts in order. A few moments later, I turn towards my guardian, brows furrowed in just the slightest hint of worry.

"It's about the club, Oto."

He pauses. "Zaimokuza isn't that bad, is he?"

"No, he isn't." I immediately reply, wide eyes glancing back to him and the road ahead every second or so. "He's just noisy, prone to random outbursts, has no personal space, contains an ego the size of an entire truck, and seems to be dropped on the head when he was a child..."

Silence reigned in the car for a few seconds. I could keenly feel my guardian's sharp gaze bearing down on me, and I quickly change tacks so i wouldn't get verbally mauled.

"He's nice, though." I meekly add, though one can presumably ignore the fact that I had difficulty putting the words out. "Steadast, at the very least. Cheerful and outgoing when he could chance it. Not someone I'd call a friend–" I ignore Oto snorting at me, "–but he's most certainly an acquaintance. That I wouldn't mind interacting with as long as he's on the other side of the room."

"You have no problems with Zaimokuza?" He asks, "Are you sure?"

A hand against my knees, while I mimed the pose of a man deep in thought. "Maybe we could get some duct tape the next time he goes on another one of his rants..."

Oto lets out a snort, stopping the car at an intersection as the lights turn red. "So it's about the club?"

"I've already told you that." I grumble, "Your fault for making it sound like the problem came with Zaimokuza in the first place."

Not that it wasn't true, but still... "So what seems to be the issue?"

"Club members. Duh." Oto glares at me from the corner of his eye, but I continue to babble on. "Since I failed to poach Hikigaya from the Service Club and the club itself wouldn't give me any help even if that's their reason for being a club in the first place–" I took a sharp breath, "–We're trying to spread it through word of mouth. Problem is, I'm me and Zaimokuza's... Zaimokuza. No one's interested."

"You know it's fine if it's just the two of you, right?"

"Definitely not." I disagreed wholeheartedly, "I need more people in the club. Mostly so that I could throw them at Zaimokuza when he's acting chuuni again, and he'd have to cut his rants short."

"So a totally selfish reason then."

Oops. I wince, turning towards my guardian with a sheepish smile. "... May I also add that it also provides a great hobby both to make new friends, socialize, and to pass the time?"

"Hm." Judging by the way that Oto tittered, my guardian didn't really believe my hogwash. Not that I couldn't blame him, and I was about to open my mouth to try and drown him in more bullshit, but the light turns green and he had to focus on driving the car again.

Around another intersection and a curb, only to brake at a bus stop. A bus stop with someone that I had just met a few hours ago.

Nonetheless, I played dumb, and turned towards my guardian with a raised brow. "Oto, this isn't where we usually take the turn back to the apartment."

"I know." He blithely replies, poking his car door as my window begins sliding down. "Now scoot over, I'm trying to get someone's attention."

I groan. For all but a few seconds, before my protests went unheeded as Oto pulls the handbrake and leans over my space, hollering out to a dour-looking woman wearing a lab coat.

"Shizuka, over here!" He hollers out, catching her attention as she blinks and scoots over to where our car currently is. Why did I ride shotgun again? I should've just hopped onto the back seats. At the very least, I could've caught a few minutes of sleep before we arrive hom– at the apartment. "Got your message a while back. Your car broke down?"

"Impounded." The woman grumbles, taking a cigarette out of her pocket and lighting it up. I wince at the sight, nose already turned up at the secondhand fumes, and I tried to bury myself deeper into the front seat to no avail. "Then I tried taking the bus home, but then this was the last stop that I need to go through before I need to walk the rest of the way home, and I didn't bring an umbrella with me."

Lies! I see it tucked in that handbag of yours. Coincidentally, the same handbag that gave an interesting outline to her figure that I obviously didn't take a gander at. I was better than that.

"Well, get on then." Oto sighs, motioning to the back seat. "Back's all yours. Niji already called shotgun–"

"Nope." I eke out, more out of desperation than anything else. Bad enough that I felt uncomfortable with the seatbelt digging into me, but judging by what I could see from the situation, separating these two was a bad idea. Mostly for my sanity. And the mind-images that they might conjure. "Nuh-uh. I'll take the back seat. Leave the two of you lovebirds smooching at the front instead."

My guardian balks. So does Hiratsuka-sensei by the looks of it, but I was too busy untangling myself from this deathtrap of a seatbelt. I pressed the catch release, unlocked the door, and swung it out with a huge grin on my face.

"Tada! Now she can go in!" I exclaim with a flourish, before nature thoughtfully reminds me that I was now standing out in the relative open. While it was raining. "... Fuck."

"Language."

I roll my eyes at my guardian's reprimand, quickly opening the door to the back of the car and sliding into the back seat. My hair was wet, my face was wet, there was droplets on my lenses, my jacket felt uncomfortable, but it was worth it given that I could now stretch myself out along the back seats like a cat.

Hiratsuka-sensei chuckles at my antics, riding shotgun even as my guardian mutters a few dark things under his breath. No doubt because of me embarrassing his beau. Still, after a quick check that all the doors have been locked, Oto nodded and eased off the curb, getting us back on the road once more.

The female teacher spares a glance at me, and gives a rueful shake of the head. "You spoke a lot less a few hours earlier, didn't you? A lot grumpier, too."

I flinch, before letting out a scowl and crossing my arms over my chest. "Nerves do that. Yukinoshita's presence certainly didn't help. Ace the practice exam of all things, and she doesn't let it go..."

Both of them start chuckling at that, and I couldn't exactly blame them. Looking at it from an outside perspective, it was indeed quite funny. Not so when you're the receiving end of her glares, however. Especially when you look into that Hikigaya's eyes...

I shudder.

"Alright, alright." Hiratsuka-sensei backs off, raising her arms in mock surrender before she puts on her seatbelt. It fit snugly against her figure, which meant that I had to go bug Oto instead before he figures out that something's up.

"Say", I pipe up, "You're not even asking for directions to Hiratsuka-sensei's place."

Oto blinks. And promptly tightens his grip on the steering wheel, even as the blood drains from my face.

"Oh. Oh." I trail off, not really knowing how to dig myself out of the hole that I've buried myself in. "Is there ah, any chance that I'm gonna be meeting a sibling sometime soon?"

"Niji."

Hiratsuka-sensei snorts insead, waving me off with a half-smile. "Don't worry, we didn't do anything like that. Your guardian knew how to get there since he had to back me up with some of my paperwork."

"More like he offloaded his own work onto you." I grumble back, not even believing the excuse, but playing along so that Oto could stop us from getting into a car accident of some kind. "Can you please talk some sense into him? Every time that he's in our club, he just stares at his paperwork and pokes it with a pen as if that'll do something."

"You're getting grounded the moment we get back to the apartment." Oto all but states, his expression unenthused. "It's appropriate punishment for embarrassing me in front of a co-worker."

Right. 'Co-worker'. I should be the one that's embarrassed, what with me only finding about this now, of all times.

"So", Hiratsuka-sensei asks, "What do you do in that club of yours, Shinsei–?"

"Just 'Niji' would do fine."

I smile widely at her, ignoring the way that my shoulders fidget at the name. Hiratsuka-sensei looked like she had just stepped on a landmine – which she had, but I'm not too keen on telling her that – and quickly changed tack, taking another puff of her cigarette and blowing the smoke all over the confines of the car.

I hack out a cough, quickly laying back down while glaring at her. "Can you please not? Secondhand smoke is dangerous."

She rolled her eyes, which was well about what I expected whenever I brought the topic up with anyone else. Still, she did crumple her cigarette against her clothes, which made me hum in just the slightest bit of relief. It didn't change the fact that what Hiratsuka-sensei did was probably dangerous, but at least there was no more cigarette smoke within the car.

"Setting my cigarette habits aside", Which was clearly dangerous, by the way, "What do you do in that club of yours, Niji?"

"We play tabletop games. It's in the name." I drawl, and judging by the half-lidded glare she sent me, Hiratsuka-sensei didn't really like the tone that I had. Still, she asked a stupid question! How was I supposed to answer? "Though we've mostly been playing some tabletop RPGs. Mostly because Zaimokuza likes it, and because he would throw a hissy fit if we played anything else."

"Niji, you're speaking in code."

"Ah, right." I snap my fingers, furrowing my brows in thought, before I come up with an explanation that hopefully wasn't as obtuse as before. "So, tabletop games, right? It's mostly games that you can play on a tabletop. Literally, that is. Card games and board games are in that category as well, if I think about it. Tabletop RPGs meanwhile, are..."

"Hmm." This was going to be difficult. "Usually there's one player who acts as the guide for the story, and the rest of the players join in and try to add details to it. For example, you can have an adventure wherein a team of adventurers are trying to explore a dungeon, and there might be traps! Or treasure, or monsters in the way that the players would have to defeat..."

The adults were losing track. So with a painful sigh, I just resorted to the most basic comparison that I can handle. "Just imagine you're playing Dragon Quest with your friends or something like that."

At last, a lightbulb goes off through their heads. So why do I feel like I need to cry myself into a corner for giving that description...?

"You could just put that on the advertisement, Niji." My guardian pipes up, "That would probably get at least a few people to join in."

"We can't post on the bulletins if we're not a club and don't have permission from the school." I all but echo in a dry tone, quoting the holy law book of the school with the appropriate amount of respect that it deserves. "Zaimokuza and I are just two people, Oto. We need at least one more before we can actually file for a club of sorts. And then it'll have to be approved, which means more hoops to go through, and then we'd probably have to send letters asking the administration to please, please, please let us post advertisements on the bulletin board even after the alotted recruitment time was over, and at that point I don't really think that doing that is going to work."

"So that's why you were trying to poach Hikigaya."

I nod, before I freeze an instant later, blinking owlishly at Hiratsuka-sensei. "I wasn't poaching anyone. Poaching is illegal. Doubly so if it's a protected species. You can get fined for that. Arrested, even."

"Relax, it's just the three of us here, Niji." She waves me off, "You can just admit it."

"Aren't you the Service Club's adviser?" I ask with a raised brow. She nods, and my face turns grim. "Then no, you're not getting anything from me."

"Aside from the fact that you tried poaching one of my members."

"You tricked me into admitting that." I blink, before I correct my words once again, "Not that I'd do something like that, though. Now you're just trying to trip me up using wordplay."

Hiratsuka-sensei shakes her head, already coming to the realization that I wasn't going to stop playing dumb, and changed tacks right after. "Anyway, you can still try to get members by spreading it through word of mouth, right?"

"No." I shake my head. "Definitely not."

She stares at me with a raised brow. "I don't see why. Unless both of you are afraid of social interaction... and while I can probably see Zaimokuza-kun clamming up, you don't look nervous at all."

"This and that are different", I babbled as I continued to shake my head at Hiratsuka-sensei, "Oto's here, and I'd certainly be nervous if I wanted to try and talk to you myself if I'm looking into the faculty office. No offense, but it's just... Zaimokuza tends to ramble on whenever he get into something that he's interested in, and that might turn off some people that might get bombardeed with information. While I'm just..."

I trailed off, letting out a soft sigh before I moved my gaze back down to my knees. "... I'm not too big with crowds. Or other people in general."

Oto nods, turning the car down another road before slowly easing into the curb. "Took him a while before he could open up to me. It'll go away with time, but it's only been a month or so since the start of the year. Give him time."

"Alright, alright." Hiratsuka-sensei raises her arms in surrender, before shifting her gaze out the window. "Head inside that parking lot over there – don't worry, I'll clear it with the guard. I'll still need to..."

She grunts, craning her neck towards me a second later. "Say, Niji, I'll try and find you some prospective members for your club, but what if you guys owe us a favor in turn?"

My eyes narrowed, and I scooted as far as I can get from her.

Frankly, it was a generous offer. Hiratsuka-sensei can more or less press-gang some of the more lax members of the go-home club, and send them our way. Of course, it came with the caveat that most of them wouldn't be interested in our pitch anyway... Not like we'd be able to eke out much of a pitch in the first place, given that Zaimokuza's Zaimokuza and I'm well, me.

Now that I thought about it, Hiratsuka-sensei's offer was more or less useless, wasn't it? Why'd she even bring it up in the first place, then?

"That seems useless."

"If you think it is." Hiratsuka-sensei nods, a sad smile on her face, "But shouldn't you at least try?"

A few seconds pass while I kept silent, my own knees a wonderful vista for the time being. With a sigh, my shoulders slump forward, sullenly nodding along as my hands ball up into fists. There's no time like the present to fix this 'speaking' thing... even if I'm almost certainly sure that I'll fail anyway.

Can't be disappointed if you're all but expected to not even be capable of doing a task in the first place. At least, that's how I remember the saying.

"What's the catch?" I ask, all but leery of what Hiratsuka-sensei would have need of us. It can't be for any public speaking that's for sure... but if – on a lowly if – Zaimokuza and I managed to recruit some members into our club, then I'd take it as a pretty good deal for us.

A suspiciously good deal, in fact. "You guys owe me a favor. Most likely I'll probably sic you on some stuff that needs moving."

Oh. Manual labor. Slightly less horrifying than whatever I had managed to cook up. Still, I didn't exactly like it. There was a reason as to why PE was my most hated class, and most of it had to do with back-breaking physical activity.

Still. Better than being asked to socialize with the sticks in the mud that is the Service Club. Just physically-draining, will-sapping, physical labor.

Maybe I was just exaggerating just a little bit.

"Good!" I blink, finding Hiratsuka-sensei ruffling my hair, and I immediately try to swat off the hand and scowl in her direction. Despite my best efforts, I was too late, and the wily teacher had escaped my retribution as she got out of the car and stepped into the middle of a parking lot. "I'll contact you tomorrow so you can have an idea as to how many people are going to listen in. Rest of it's up to you, though. Got that?"

I nod. And with that, both Oto and I watch Hiratsuka-sensei leave, presumably to her own apartment that was located... somewhere within the building. Once she went inside the doors, I turn back towards my guardian, watching as he started the engine once again and slowly eased us out of the apartment complex.

"So", I pipe up, now that it's just two of us in the car, "Are you two a thing, or...?"

Oto coughs, swerving to the side and somehow disguising it as tailgating a car that was ahead of us. I don't know as to whether or not I should be scared or impressed by it, but I eventually decided on 'scared'. Mostly because I could see my life flash before my eyes as the sudden turn almost flung me out of my seat.

"We're not." Oto mutters, the speedometer just barely grazing against the speed limit as we began making our way back to our apartment in earnest. "Or well, it's... hm. How do I put it?"

"It's complicated?" I asked in a dry tone, and my guardian nodded. Why did I give him an out again?

"Yeah. That." He drums the steering wheel as he continues to speed on, mostly due to the fact that the rain was now falling even harder. "Things happen when you're stressed, drunk, and have been trying to finish off the month's reports in the span of an entire evening."

Ah. "One night stand?"

"Can we not talk about this, Niji?" Oto huffs, turning around on the next intersection as we slowly enter the suburbs. "Just let me have my privacy. Else... I don't know, I'll pull some college-level physics problems and throw an impromptu quiz at you or something."

"Wow."

"I'll make it timed."

"You had me at extra quizzes – the rest just seems unnecessary." I reply, raising my arms in mock surrender before I huff and lean back into my seat. "She's nice, though."

"Glowing recommendation coming from you, sure." My guardian rolls his eyes, the car eventually coming to a stop next to a fine, two-storey home. "Come on, let's go. If I know Shizuka, she's going to get at least five people showing up at your doorstep, and you better be ready to try and get them interested in the club."

I let out a snort at that, even as I exit the car and snatch up my belongings on the car's floor. A part of me was relieved that we were back at the apartment, but another, more prevalent part was dreading what would happen tomorrow. If Oto says that people are going to be coming into the club tomorrow, then people are going to coming into the club tomorrow. How to make sure they stay there, though...

...

Well, a sleepless night doesn't sound so bad, so long as I do it in moderation.

---

Chapter 4: Introductions


The room that our prospective club was situated in is a relatively deserted room by the special requirements building. It was more or less a storage room of sorts, where extra materials bought by the school gathered dust, and while it would ordinarily be illegal to commandeer the room itself if you're a student, Oto's presence here made sure that there wouldn't be any problems in that direction.

Still, it does mean that he needed to fill out some requisition forms whenever we wanted to use anything else in the room. Like the whiteboard that I had just finished scribbling on, for example.

I really need to give him a gift of some kind for his help in all this. But summer vacation's still quite a few ways off, and it means that acquiring some pocket money for said gift would have to wait for a little while longer. Still, I wrote it down on the corner of the whiteboard, in the most likely event that I'll forget about it in the span of a few hours.

For the meantime, I step back, and contemplate my work. I turn towards Zaimokuza a second later, and ignore my guardian currently snoring on the other side of the table.

"So what do you think?" I ask, watching his face turn up at the scrawl that I had written up on the board.

"Niji, you have a problem."

I summarily sent his evaluation of my work to the bin, and turn back to give the whiteboard another read. The entire thing was a half-crazed scrawl of all my ideas that I've been able to cook up last night, interspersed with arrows, blocks of text, and dotted lines that separated it in only a method that I could understand.

Hm. Maybe Zaimokuza has a point.

"What do we do, then?" I ask him, flipping the whiteboard around to reveal its other, unblemished side. "We've got new recruits coming here in a short amount of time, and I'm not sure if we could get them to stay in the club. What will be a club. At the very least, let's make it that way. You did bring what I asked you to, right?"

Zaimokuza nods, bringing out his bag and dumping quite a few board games on the table with a frown. "My loyal retainer, though I most certainly defer to your wisdom in most cases, this time I would have to ask. Why don't we just teach them our ways of crafting stories?"

Ah, yes. The million-yen question, wasn't it? "Because people are stupid."

He stares.

I wince, and quickly backtrack on my statement. "What I mean by that is the people that would be joining us for today would probably not be too enthused with us shoving down things like that into their throats. We could get them interested sure, but it'd take time, and they'll be too intimidated if we keep on pushing. What we should do is start with some of the uh, lower fare first, before we introduce them to tabletop RPGs."

The fact that it gives less incentive for Zaimokuza to go on insane rants isn't lost on me.

"Your logic make sense, my loyal retainer." He hums, crossing his brows in thought before turning towards me once again. "So with all of these board games, card games, and RPGs... are we just going to be a club that simply does tabletop games?"

"Pretty much." I nod in response, "And I don't see why not. We could schedule some tabletop RPGs once a week, while the rest of the days could be taken up by learning some simple board games, or even force a session if everyone's on board. It'll be much better to stick to a schedule though, since at the very least we could compensate if one of our members suddenly has something to do during club period."

Zaimokuza nods again, this time with a more confident smile on his face. "Very well! I shall go along with this plan. Should I help try to convince those coming here to the greatness of our cause?"

I pause. And pale in horror at what the tubby bastard might conjure, if only for a split-second. Oh, I could already feel myself all but shutting that idea down... but if you try and keep a lid on a chuuni, then it's more or less going to explode in a manner that you won't expect. Like a pressure cooker. I think.

Not that I had much time to think through with the idea, given how there was already people knocking on the door.

"Sure, why not." I grin, a distinctly nervous dint to my tone, before I turn towards the door and take a deep breath. "I'll get the door?"

"Please."

A glance back towards Zaimokuza shows that he was already preparing for the worst, rubbing his hands while glancing around the room for an exit. Not that I couldn't blame him – if someone else is more nervous than me, then it's obviously the tubby bastard.

With a sigh, I stride over towards the door and slide it open, finding myself staring at two pairs of eyes. One pair that I recognize from a day earlier, in fact.

"Yuigahama-san?" I ask, more out of confusion than anything, "I thought you were in the Service Club?"

"I am!" She huffs in response, seemingly annoyed by the fact that I had questioned her loyalties so openly. "I'm just here because Hiratsuka-sensei asked me to. Or well, I asked Hina, she said she was interested, so I wanted to come with as well."

"Ah." If this was that teacher's way of helping us, then I'm already halfway to despair. This wasn't the amount of people she promised us. I expected ten. Maybe even five. But just one? Just one person, of all things?

With a smile that hopefully didn't look too intimidating, I turn towards the... only person that Hiratsuka-sensei had apparently managed to convince, turning towards her with a nod. "Hello. I'm Niji. You are...?"

"Ebina." She replies, peering inside the room before glancing back towards me. "I was told that you were organizing a club. Can we go in...?"

"Sure." I step to the side, allowing the pair through, only for Zaimokuza to let out a scream at the sight. With a sigh, I rub my temples, trying to stymie off the inevitable migraine that comes alongside dealing with the tubby bastard. It doesn't work of course, which meant that I have at least a valid reason for glaring at him this time around.

"Oi Zaimokuza, lower your voice. You'll wake up Oto-sensei."

"B-But, but...!"

"Oh, Chuuni-san's here too." Yuigahama pipes up. The tubby bastard staggers, looking like he had been punched in the gut, and I could sort of sympathize with his reaction. Suddenly being called names would do a number on your self-esteem... though in Zaimokuza's case, it probably wouldn't last for long. He wouldn't be a chuunibyou if calling him names was enough to put him down.

"Yes. He is." I could only reply in a hollow manner, motioning towards the empty seats while I plopped myself down on the seat in front of our club advisor. "In any case, welcome to the Tabletop Gaming Club! Or well, just the Tabletop Gaming Gathering, since we only have just two people here."

"So few?" Ebina-san asks, looking around the relatively deserted room with wide eyes, before glancing down and browsing some of the board games that Zaimokuza brought with him. "I thought that there would be more people."

"We missed the opening week." I reply in a glum tone, causing Ebina-san to nod in sympathy, "This thing was established... what, around two weeks back? By then, recruitment was already over, so we're just stuck with just the two of us."

"Um, what do you do here, then?" Ebina-san asks, breaking open another board game set and beginning to read through the rulebook. "This seems to be... a lot of stuff just for two people alone."

"My loyal retainer and I play tabletop RPGs!" Zaimokuza crows, thumping a fist against his chest. I was tempted to immediately shut him down, but I refrained from doing so at the moment. That would just be bad for prospective members, and we were trying to get one. "There was this one time wherein he and I were spinning tales about a war in a magical continent, with flying automatons, airships, and dragons–"

"Yes, that." I cut in once I realized I was losing both Yuigahama-san and Ebina-san. "Though tabletop RPG sessions can sometimes last for quite a while, so we usually just schedule those for when we have the time and just play board or card games in the meantime."

Ebina-san furrows her brows. "That seems like an awful lot of time."

"Zaimokuza and I mostly just hang out." I shrug, "Play some board games one day, play some card games on another. If we got some homework during classtime, then we just do it here so that we can slack off when we're back at home."

"Ah, I see, I see." The noncommittal humming really did nothing to ease my worries, but I nonetheless kept a calm expression on my face as I reached into my bag and pulled out a box of cards. "So I can just drop in and out without issue?"

"So long as you tell us first, then I don't think it'll be an issue." I respond with furrowed brows, glancing towards the stack of UNO cards that I now held in my hand. The ultimate trump card (heh) that I can use if things go wrong. "No need to tell us why, just say that you either won't be coming for the day or that you have some kind of obligation beforehand, and we'd understand. Conversely, just hit us up if you want a club meeting of some kind."

"That... works." Ebina-san replies, nodding along to herself while a thoughtful expression crosses her face. A few seconds pass before she comes to a decision, and she turns towards me with a sheepish smile. "So where do I start?"

I take it back. Thank you for your contributions to this club, Hiratsuka-sensei. I'll gladly do some menial labor work for you. Zaimokuza not so much, but I'm sure you can convince him somehow.

For the meantime, I quickly rummage through my bag, finding some of the paperwork that Zaimokuza and I had filled out a week ago. Mostly around the time when Oto-sensei realized that we were actually serious about turning our little gathering into an actual club, given how most of it already been written up. The ink was already even dry.

"We've got most of the club application forms filed out already." I babble more than explain, sliding over the papers to Ebina-san, who was now looking at me with a strange expression on her face. "Just sign where you're supposed to sign and we'll dump the paperwork on Oto-sensei – that's the idiot currently sleeping over there by the way, don't wake him up."

"Oh." Ebina-san blinks, before reaching into her own bag and pulling out a stamp and a pen. "So... can we play a game while Oto-sensei is sleeping? I don't think he'll wake up anytime soon."

Yeah, he wouldn't. Once he sleeps, rousing him is as difficult as poking a bear.

"I wanna join too!" Yuigahama-san pipes in, and I could only let out a sigh at her enthusiasm.

"My loyal retainer!" Zaimokuza crows, "Shall we proceed with a one-shot!?"

... He just had to suggest the worst possible game to start with. I could only let out a forlorn sigh, cupping my face into my hands while I wondered as to why the tubby bastard wanted to sabotage our efforts to recruit more members. We were this close to gaining a new member, damn it. This close!

She already signed on the forms and everything, and you're already driving her off because of your chuuni-ness! "No."

"What's a one-shot?"

Welp, I tried, but someone tripped the gates. I don't know if it was either Yuigahama-san or Ebina-san, but someone did, and that meant ill news. Zaimokuza took a deep breath, his lenses glinting ominously, before launching into a chuuni-fueled tirade explaining what a one-shot meant, and how it would be fun for everyone to play.

Of course, I was a great translator of Zaimokuza-lese, after dealing with him for two weeks now. If one actually listened to what the tubby bastard was saying, then you'd get more 'I, the Great General Shogun' speeches and overflowing descriptions.

A glance at the two newcomers to our little gathering made me wince. Yuigahama-san and Ebina-san already looked like their soul was about to depart from their bodies, which wasn't good if we'd like to have new members by the end of the day.

I clear my throat, breaking Zaimokuza's rant and causing the two girls to let out a sigh of relief.

"A one-shot's a short session of a tabletop RPG." I explain in a more concise manner, "Like the name, it's only good for one session, so we can get it done in a few... hours or so."

Hours that we probably have, judging by the look on the clock. Actual club period was just starting to go into full swing, which more or less gives us... more or less two hours and a half to explain the basics of what a tabletop RPG is, and get a one-shot done.

Maybe I should've focused more on steering Zaimokuza away from ranting about tabletop RPGs, but that would take more effort than I was willing to expend. Besides, if Yuigahama-san and Ebina-san didn't like it, then they could just pipe up and I'd be more than willing to steer them to a card game or something more banal. Everyone likes UNO, after all.

Still, that depended on the thoughts of our new member. Judging by the look on her face, she seemed intrigued. Her first mistake, especially when dealing with someone like Zaimokuza. "I guess I could give that a shot, then."

I nod, safe in the knowledge that the tubby bastard's ranting hadn't thoroughly killed her interest. "Zaimokuza, you're on the DM side of things. I'll get some pre-made character sheets."

He nods, before freezing up a second later. "... Wait, you mean make something now?"

"Yes, now." I pipe back in a dry tone, "You're the one that suggested the one-shot, you set the scene."

The sound of frustration coming from his throat was like music to my ears. Not that I had enough time to relish in his suffering, since I had to explain to two people the basics of a tabletop RPG, which would take... quite a while.

No time like the present, however. At the very least, it would inoculate Ebina-san as to what to expect whenever Zaimokuza gets on one of his chuuni sprees again. Hopefully, she would stand by me when that happens, and present a united bastion against that tubby bastard's general-shogun fantasies. Before I throw her into the warpath, that is.

I've dealt with Zaimokuza one too many times now. Her sacrifice will be appreciated.

With great pomp, I place down the stack of papers on the table, watching as Yuigahama-san's eyes bug out from the sight.

"Here's the list of characters that we made so far." I smile, sending it over towards the pair's direction. "Pick one that you fancy, and I'll walk you through most of the rules. Zaimokuza would probably take it easy on us three, since two of us are playing this for the first time, right?"

The tubby bastard had already set up a screen that cut off his side of the table, having all but dumped his previous notes behind it and was now mix-and-matching details. It's what I would do as well, suddenly faced with the fact that I had to put up a scenario in a hot minute. Though, the fact that Zaimokuza was now chuckling ominously certainly did wonders for my caution.

When he didn't reply, I asked again with an ominous tone to my voice. "Right?"

Zaimokuza blinks, before turning towards me with a smile and a thumbs-up. "Of course, my loyal retainer. There is nothing to worry about."

Suspicious.

But something to worry about for later. For now, I have to worry about explaining all of this to a pair of girls who have no doubt played this kind of game once in their lives. "You picked your characters already? Alright, so here's how it goes..."

It took a while, but it wasn't because for lack of trying. Both Yuigahama-san and Ebina-san managed to get the gist of it in a short time, but the specifics still needed some time to be worked through before they could become passable at it. They knew what HP meant – who wouldn't, in this day and age? – but the more technical parts needed some kind of comparison or analogy so that they could learn it much quicker. Like wondering if whether or not you'd need a d20 or a d12 to throw a weapon at an enemy, or the rather odd method of casting spells.

All in all, the experience was like tutoring Zaimokuza with his homework. Granted, Yuigahama-san and Ebina-san were far more pleasant to talk to, though I think that was mostly due to the fact that they didn't have the tendency to randomly burst into chuuni rants every now and then.

By the time that Zaimokuza finally finished building something up, Yuigahama-san and Ebina-san were more or less ready to go.

Of course, that was when my previous suspicions began rearing their head.

"The three of you stop at your destination, the yawning mouth of the opened crypt spilling out darkened miasma from its pitch-black depths." The tubby bastard intones, setting the scene even as I scratched the side of my head. There was something niggling at the back of my mind, wondering why I was getting suspicious of his exact wording... "There is a stone sword that hangs from the entryway, its blade pointing down into the tallow earth, cracked and brimming with moss."

I blink. Before narrowing my eyes at Zaimokuza as the set-up finally clicked.

From what I can remember, this was the Crypt of Kar... Kar... Karka-something. I don't really remember the name, but this entire thing had been written by Zaimokuza for that one special occasion in which he was just a little bit annoyed at me that one time, and it showed. Traps, undead, and a boss fight in a relatively small dungeon.

Couple that with my character starting at a low level... Well, it was a bloodbath. For me, at least.

"Ser Parappa lights a torch and goes inside!"

""I stop her."" Ebina-san and I reply at once, causing Yuigahama-san to glare at us both. Zaimokuza was already getting his prerequisite GM laughter from behind the screen, though at least he had the tact to keep it to ominous chuckles this time around.

"Yui, are you trying to get your character killed?" Ebina-san pipes up, brows drawn into a frown as she massages her temples, "Because that's how you get your character killed. Why don't you just... I don't know, throw the torch to light the way ahead instead of just wandering in?"

"Because I have only two torches with me?"

"We can pick it up the moment we go by." Ebina-san replies, before turning towards Zaimokuza with a smile, "We can pick up the torch if we do that, right?"

Zaimokuza's response was meek. Or perhaps that's just because of his nerves, or the fact that he all but proclaimed that he doesn't talk to girls that much. Hopefully he'll get that out of his system by the first week or so, however. "Y-Yes."

"Then we do that." Ebina-san nods, and turns towards Yuigahama-san.

"Ser Parappa lights up the torch, and throws it into the inside of the crypt!"

Judging by the cross look on the tubby bastard's face, he didn't like that one bit. Which was good for all of us, frankly speaking. "As the burning wood clatters against the stone, its orange light casts an eerie glow towards the crypt's walls. It illuminates half-melted skeletons embedded into the stone, bony arms seemingly reaching out to the light, all but twitching and snapping with unnatural light."

Ebina-san turns towards her friend. "... See."

Yuigahama-san scratched her cheek. "Hehe..."

I sigh, glancing down towards my character sheet and almost letting out a little giggle when I read through my class. Cleric, it said. Just perfect for what I need.

"Kon-kon casts [Exorcise] on the skeleton arms flapping about in the walls." I declare, and Ebina-san blinks at me before pumping out a fist in victory. Zaimokuza's frown grows deeper, as he rolls some dice behind the screen and lets out a sigh.

"The wave of holy energy surges through the arms... causing them to let out pained screams before they... t-they turn to dust." The tubby bastard grits out, letting out a sniff before turning towards Ebina-san. "What does Erana do?"

"She brings out her lyre, and begins to play a loud tune." Ebina-san hums, a smile dancing on her face, "That should inform us if there's more things lying down in wait in there."

Zaimokuza, the petty bastard that he is, turns to glare at me. As if I'm the one that apparently filled them in on this little secret, and now his plans to kill all of us have been thwarted. Well, it wasn't my fault that he was so painstakingly obvious with designing stuff like this. Anyone with a brain could've seen it coming, especially when he gave us tells.

Not that it wasn't cathartic, of course. I grin back at the tubby bastard, a smug little thing that serves to only give him a message.

'Bring it on.'

...

We died from a pitfall trap a few meters in, so I guess Zaimokuza should be able to get the smugness out of his system now.

"What? That's unfair!" Not that Ebina-san shared the same opinion as me, of course. "We even checked for traps and everything!"

"None of you passed the difficulty check to figure out the trigger." The tubby bastard said. No, more like gloated, given how he leaned back into his seat and smiled smugly at the rest of our ashen faces. "You could've tried using something that you brought with you to feel out the area in front of you, and that might've probably alerted you to the presence of that trap."

"Bullshit!"

I tried to suppress a smirk on my lips, even as Yuigahama-san wasn't so restrained and was all but giggling at the current turn of events. Still, there was a good thing that came out of this. We had a new member now, and we're officially a club.

Not to mention that everyone's getting along as well. What else could you want?

---

Chapter 5: Dissonance


Sometimes, I wonder why things happen. Barely even a week ago Zaimokuza and I were all but fretting over the fact that we wouldn't be a club for the foreseeable future, and yet here we are, having a new member in our ranks. We were an actual club now – the Tabletop Gaming Club, or so the forms said – which meant that we had received a relative upgrade in facilities.

No longer were we stuck in some glorified storage room, kicking up dust bunnies whenever we move a muscle. Now, we were situated in an actual club room in the club building itself, with clean walls, chairs, and tables that we would have to keep clean if we want things to remain this way. I have never taken in such a clean breath in a long while, and I can say that I am supremely grateful for such an opportunity.

Of course, the fact that we were recognized as a club also meant that we would have to do at least something to better Soubu High in the process, no matter how small. Some sort of unwritten quid pro quo, since the school bothered to give us a club room and requisition some supplies. Zaimokuza, Ebina-san, and I eventually decided on a book. A compilation of sorts, telling of the adventures our characters went through in those tabletop RPGs, dressed in the format of the folk tale.

Zaimokuza brought up the initial idea, Ebina-san was more than happy to chip in, and I have to sit in despair behind a laptop as I tried to edit out all of the tubby bastard's trashy writing in the first proposal. The things I've seen in there... never could I have more pity for the tubby bastard's flash drive in that moment, given that I was all but tempted to format the damn thing and start anew.

All in all, it was a good week for the club. An election started, Zaimokuza crowned himself club president, Ebina-san settled for secretary, and I had to settle for vice-president. Not exactly a most thrilling election given that we were all but three people, but I could certainly give the tubby bastard some flak for dumping all the club's paperwork on me.

I'm the one that already edited that disaster of a proposal and submitted it to the faculty. The least that Zaimokuza could do was at least give me some sympathy for the horrors I faced, but he just started rambling on about how we are apparently 'one step closer in taking over Japan's cultural market'. Sure buddy. You do you.

Hm, in any case, where was I? Ah, right. Ebina-san. Our new member was supposed to be a moderating influence to Zaimokuza's antics, allowing me to slowly reduce the number of chuuni ramblings that comes out of his mouth every day, but it doesn't seem to be working. Quite the opposite, actually – she's been pushing the tubby bastard to embrace his chuuni side, much to my ongoing disappointment.

Like now, for example. "Gilsanda slams his sword on the podium, and proclaims to the gathering below that he shall be kidnapping their prince!"

I gawk at Ebina-san, and she stares at me with an impish grin on her face. Even Zaimokuza was staring at her with something looking like concern, which means something. The chuuni is staring at you in worry. "Ebina-sama..."

"Well since we're kidnapping the prince anyway, we might as well start it off with a joke, right?" She hums, "That should be enough to break the ice and get the party actually started, which would be the distraction that we'd need to pull it off."

Zaimokuza's brows furrow in thought, before he gasps and bows in Ebina-san's direction. "You're a genius!"

"Yes, I am."

"Then I, the Great General Shogun Uma, laughs wholeheartedly at the 'joke'!"

As for me, I could only groan at their by-play, glancing down towards my notes and letting out an aggrieved sigh. The fact of the matter was that Gilsanda and Uma weren't supposed to be here in the first place. Sure, they saved a local village from a goblin attack and captured the mage that whipped up the goblins in a frenzy, but there was still goblin attacks going on around the country that they were currently in.

Now, they accepted the invitation by the local nobles, and ran into the local prince who was taking a pit stop in the castle. Within minutes, the pair seemed to immediately jump to kidnapping the prince because of... Actually, I forgot. That was last session's events.

I check my notes, and wince. Alright, I can see why Gilsanda and Uma might hold a grudge when the prince insulted them. But surely kidnapping him right from the get-go was a bit of a step-up? They just barely handled that goblin attack a while back, and– Ugh, fine. I'll have to just keep this going and try to steer them away from getting killed.

"The nobles in the gathering roar in laughter at the joke, slapping themselves silly and ribbing each other on the shoulders. The servants share little grins as well, even as the trumpet is sounded, and the feast begins in earnest. The doors to the chamber bursts open, and servants come into the chamber bearing plates of wondrous meats, vegetables, and fruits, arranging them into a glorious banquet that leaves the mouth watering at the sight."

"Food..." Zaimokuza blinks, and Ebina-san's face falls into her hands.

"Oh no." She whispers, before snapping back up and glaring at me before the tubby bastard could get a word in. "I yank back Uma before he dives for the food!"

Damn. And here I was, hoping that she'd forget that little detail. "Roll your Dexterity against his Strength."

They do so. Ebina-san's shoulders slump at the results, and she lets out a sullen sigh. "I should've expected this. I really should've. Well, I'll be sure to find an electric rod to rein Uma in just in case this happens again."

"That sounds a bit harsh." I note, causing Ebina-san to turn towards me with a raised brow.

"You're smiling, Niji."

"I live off Zaimokuza's suffering." I reply back, shrugging at her in a blase manner while I give her a smile, "In any case, Gilsanda tries to reach out to Uma, but the latter was already long gone, having joined the rest of the nobles in stuffing his stomach with the dizzying array of foods laid out before him. The feast is gaining greater focus with time, the cheer already spreading towards the other rooms in the castle, and the servants are being run ragged as they are sent to retrieve flagons of water, wine, and seconds. Now would be a perfect time to slip away into the castle hallways, if one wishes to explore without much intervention."

Ebina-san grumbles. "Gilsanda wears his Cloak of Invisibility and begins making his way to the prince's quarters."

Well that was one problem momentarily solved. And by solve, I mean 'momentarily kicked down the line while I built up suspense'. Someone choked on poison during the entire buffet that Uma was currently in, and he is rounded up along with the rest of the nobles inside to be investigated. There were traps along the main pathways leading towards the prince's quarters, forcing Gilsanda to stealthily disarm them so that she could sneak through unnoticed.

Of course, came the 'whys'. After all, the prince had no reason for fear Gilsanda and Uma, and there is no doubt that the poisoning at the banquet and the traps lining the main hallways that led towards the prince were not a coincidence. But who could've done it? Who had the will and capability to do this?

Zaimokuza and Ebina-san were about to find out, as Gilsanda picks open the doors to the prince's chambers and Uma declares his culprit...

Only for someone to knock on the door to our clubroom, all but killing the air of anticipation. I sigh, pushing my chair back against the floor, and get up from my seat, stretching my arms and letting out a yawn. I should get a salary for trying to wrangle these two together, because my goodness this is taking a lot more out of me than I initially suspected.

"Well, I'll be getting the door." I pipe up, already walking towards one of the doors in our clubroom, "That would give you two some time to figure out what's actually going on. Don't look behind the screen, or we'll have words. Last session's bad enough what with you somehow charming the mage and all that."

The pair snickers, and I glare at them both as I reach the door. With a grunt, I heave it open, and come face-to-face with a senior.

I blink, before quickly clearing my throat and giving her a smile. A practiced one at that, since I have an inkling as to why she was here knocking on our door in the first place. "Hello! Do you have any business with the Tabletop Gaming Club, senpai?"

"Yes." She glares at me. "The same 'business' that our club and yours seem to have over the past week."

With a wince, I step outside the club room and close the door behind me, taking a deep breath all the while. We weren't that noisy, were we? Or well, we were. This was about the... third time that she paid a visit to us, and I wasn't really sure if I was the one causing most of the ruckus this time around.

Still, mea culpa.

"Sorry." I reply with a short bow. "We'll try to tone things down."

"This the third time that I came over here in just one week alone." She grumbles, arms crossed over her chest. "Look, it's either you tone it down for real this time, or we'll have to take this up to the faculty."

Who knows how that will go. Oh wait, they'll most likely disband us. "We'll try, senpai."

"Sometimes trying isn't enough." I bristle at the blunt statement, only for me to pause as she gives me a sympathetic smile. "Look, we can find some alternate ways. It's hard enough for us in the Music Club to actually run smoothly given our members, but with you chipping in on your own noise just on the other side, it becomes more than just distracting."

"I..." My eyes trail off to the side, mind utterly blank on what to say in response. Of course, we're going to be seen as distracting. The Music Club was right beside our own club room, and they've been here for... well, longer than our club's entire existence, for sure. I'd volunteer Zaimokuza for the pulpit, but I don't think that they'd be mollified the moment he starts his chuuni rants. "Sorry."

"Well, we're figuring things out on our own end." The senior replies, nodding towards the direction of her club while giving me a smile. "The budget's a little tight for this month, but at the very least we could get some sound-absorbing squares online. You know those pointy little things?"

My brows furrow in confusion, while I shake my head at the... decidedly odd topic of choice. "I've never heard of it."

"They basically function like egg cartons – diverting the sound everywhere and all that. Of course, the ones that actually block out a good amount of sound can cost for quite a sum, so..." She raises her arms in mock-surrender. "No one's getting any replacement for their strings and the like soon. But then again, that should teach the others that they should tune their instruments a little more delicately, yes?"

"Um..." I was lost. "Sure...?"

She huffs. "The point is that you also need to do something. At least, give us a pledge that you'll help us move some equipment if you get too noisy again."

Oh. Ah, I think I get it. The previous small-talk was just so I could let my guard down while she tries to bury our club in favors. Sneaky. It would've worked on any other person, but not I. Or Zaimokuza, for that matter. He was more like to just bluster past every blunder he brings to the table, and it was one of the reasons why I to ease him out of his chuuni-ness. A double-edged sword most of the time – mostly for my sanity – but I've made it work from time to time.

Anyways, um. Where was I? Right, being extorted for favors. "I'm not sure I can give you the go-ahead without the club president around."

Her brows furrow in confusion. "You're not the club president?"

"No, I'm not." I reply with a shake of the head. "That would be Zaimokuza. And while he's more than happy to dump all the paperwork on my lap, he's still going to want to hear about this."

"UOOOOH! NIJI YOU SLY BASTARD YOU, WAS THIS YOUR PLAN ALL ALONG?!"

I let out a sigh of... grief, irritation, grievance, exasperation – something. My face falls into my hands, and I shake my head for a few seconds before slowly turning back towards the senior. "... Though uh, I'm guessing you don't want to step inside?"

She shakes her head. Alright, that's good. For me, at least. Zaimokuza's reputation? Perhaps a different matter, best seen for another time.

"Alright, so", I trail off, humming in thought before the words flowed back into my mind a second later. "The way I see it, our club is basically acting like idiots, which is... fair. Wanting us to keep our activities quiet is also a good thing, but–" I motion towards my clubroom, "–that happens even without any kind of active meddling on my part. The best way that we could solve this is if we just... I don't know, just ask the faculty to reassign us a new clubroom?"

"That's..." The senior trails off, rubbing a hand against her chin in thought for a few seconds. "... Maybe. Yes, that could work. But you'd need someone from the other party to... I guess that would be me, then? Alright, that could work. But are you sure you want to just... up and leave?"

"We've only been here for a week, senpai." I point out with a sheepish smile, "We'd rather just take an empty wing of the club building and scream our hearts out rather than cause a ruckus for someone else."

"Well... I'll leave you to it, then." The senior pipes back with a smile, patting me on the shoulder before turning to walk back towards her own club. "Tell me when you get that proposal done, alright? Though we'd still be happy if you actually just keep things quiet on your end!"

"Um, sure." That's never going to happen. Especially with Zaimokuza in our club. "See you soon...?"

"Shiromeguri." She replies back, giving me one last wave before she ducks back into her own clubroom. "See you soon as well, Niji-kun!"

... Wait, I wasn't asking for her name. That was just supposed to be a farewell.

Never mind. With a rueful shake of my head, I turn back around and open the door to the clubroom, finding Ebina-san and Zaimokuza sitting primly on their own respective chairs. Naturally, such a sight made me suspicious. After the first time that I GMed for these two, I've been wary of what they could do given sufficient motive.

"You didn't peek behind the screen, did you?" I asked with a raised brow, already knowing the answer. Zaimokuza scoffs, his expression cross as he turns towards me with his arms across his chest.

"The Great General Shogun does not stoop to cheating to get what he needs!"

I hum, clasping my hands behind my back as I begin to make my way back to my seat. "Very well, then. Ser Naal seethes at Uma's seemingly baseless accusation, drawing a sword and charging at him. Roll for initiative, Zaimokuza."

"Hmph", the tubby bastard sniffs, even as he begins to roll his dice, "Such a reaction means that they're obviously the culprit. Besides, they had the candle mark on their... their... Ah..."

Zaimokuza pales as I stand in front of him, a wicked grin on my face. "So, just where did you hear about that candle mark, hm?"

I began telling him off a second later. So much so that Shiromeguri-senpai had to slam the door to our clubroom open and scold us for the second time in a single day.

---

Chapter 6: Gossip by the Kitchen


I hum a little tune under my breath, peeling the potatoes in my hand with short, repetitive strokes. It was something of a routine by this point, when I found myself cooking for our meals when dinner came. Mostly due to the fact that Oto had a tendency to bring his workload back home, and while an ordinary wife would be more than happy to scold him for prioritizing his work over family... I'm his ward.

Besides, none of us wanted to watch television, save for checking the news and weather forecast.

"Oto", I call out over the sound of knife-chopping and paper-checking, "Can we change our clubroom?"

My guardian pauses from his work, bringing his head out of the stack of quizzes he was checking and turning to stare at me. My knife had been laid out to the side for now, the potatoes cut and taking a long soak in a bowl of water, and he gives me an odd look while I lean against the countertop.

"Clubroom assignments are usually permanent until the club is disbanded." Oto quotes, before giving me a blank glare. "... You did something stupid, didn't you?"

"No." And if I did, why would I take the time to tell Oto about it? "It's just that we've been getting noise complaints from the club next door, so I just figured we should cut out losses and move out to somewhere more isolated."

"Ah, that explains a lot." He had a put-upon smile on his face as he says so, "... Let me guess, Zaimokuza's getting noisy again, isn't he?"

"When is he not?" I ask in return, causing my guardian to bark out a laugh before shaking his head, returning back to his work.

Seeing the dismissal for what it was, I went back to cooking as well. Carrots peeled, onions diced, garlic minced, and chicken sliced. All that's left to do now is put all of these things together, and hope I don't burn things to a crisp.

The pot sizzles, and the aroma of the spices sings through the air, a heavenly smell beginning to suffuse around us. Just to make sure that we don't trip the smoke detector however, I open the window, and begin fanning the fumes outside.

"So, I guess you're looking for paperwork to move your clubroom?" Oto pipes up from his paperwork, even as I begin to sear the... Wait no, I was supposed to sear the chicken first! Damn it.

"Yep," I reply, a glum tone to my voice as I bring up another pan and began searing the chicken there instead. The smell is... good now, so I began pouring chicken stock on the pot. There was a light sizzle, before the sound suddenly stops and I begin scraping the bottom of the pot with a wooden spoon. Normally there'd be bits of chicken in there, but... hmm, maybe I'll just transfer things over when the chicken's done.

"Then I'll print out the forms once I'm done checking these quizzes." My guardian replies, letting out a quiet hum while signing off another quiz. "Want to see how you did?"

"Somewhat adequate, I'm guessing."

Oto simply chuckles in response, pulling out another paper from the stack and waving it at me instead. "Well, at least Zaimokuza's marginally getting better. He probably has to thank you for it."

"Not going to be teaching him again any time soon if I can help it." I grumble, tossing the seared chicken into the pot and dumping in the tomatoes. "Do you realize how aggravating it is to actually try and teach him something? It's all 'the Great General Shogun can handle this pithy little problem' this and 'my loyal retainer, I have in need of your services!' next. Add to the fact that he doesn't have much patience, and I'm... ugh."

My guardian smiles. "It's working, though."

I agree. "Sure, but I'm not doing it again unless he begs on his knees."

The conversation peters out soon after, giving me enough time to stare at the curry that I was cooking. The rice was done, and the cover was propped up so it could cool down... and by the looks of it, the curry should be done with a bit more time. Nothing left to do but to take a look and stir it occasionally, and dump the vegetables in once it's almost done.

So with a smile, I make my way to the dining table, taking up a seat right in front of my guardian as I let out a comfortable sigh. One of these days, I'll ask him to get a stool for the kitchen. Goodness knows my legs feel like jelly right now.

My guardian seems to finish the last of his paperwork, putting the quizzes in a clear file and setting them to the side. He has a grin on his face when he turns towards me, eyes glimmering with mischief, and I could only dread what he was going to ask me about.

"You have a new club member now, correct?" He asks in an innocent tone, even as I nod in response. "How's she doing so far?"

"Pretty well, so far. No problems as of yet." I smile at that, before it turns into a more strained expression. "... Wait, scratch that, actually. She's been joining Zaimokuza whenever he goes on one of his chuuni rants. Not to the same extent of course – Ebina-san's certainly not as loud as Zaimokuza, but the sentiment's the same."

Oto hums, and I quickly get off my seat to check up on the curry. I got hit with a face full of steam the moment I opened the lid, rearing back with a hiss, but watching with a satisfied expression nonetheless as the curry bubbles away. Still needs a few more minutes to stew before it's ready.

"Frankly, the only problem that we have right now is the noise." I pipe up, beginning to stir the curry with a ladle, "Shiromeguri-senpai from the Music Club already paid quite a few trips in a single week alone, and they're all but ready to complain to the faculty about the noise."

"Wait", Oto pipes up, "You're right next to the Music Club, of all things?"

"Laugh it up." I glumly reply back, setting the landle aside and putting the lid back on before making my way back to the dining table. "Not as funny when you're actually standing in front of her. Feels like you're being choked to death with just a stare."

All exaggerations, of course. Well, not really. Shiromeguri-senpai didn't really look like the type to person to do that, but I wouldn't exactly try to bet on it on the off chance that she does blow her top.

"Damn, that's unlucky." 'Unlucky' wasn't exactly putting the situation justice, Oto. "Well, I guess I can see why you'd just up and leave. Certainly better than trying to tought it out without purchasing some of those anechoic boards."

I glance towards my guardian, whose expression quickly shifted into something contrite. "No, I'm not buying you one. It's less expensive to just move your club somewhere else than buy those things in bulk. Besides, you'd need the faculty's permission to try and do something like that in the first place, so it's better if you just move away and do the paperwork for that instead."

Fair. I got up from my seat, walking back towards the simmering curry, and peered into its dark orange depths, seeing nothing but a thick, bubbling stew. With a smile, I turn off the gas and remove it from the heat, opening up the lid and watching as steam wafts out from the pot.

"Alright, I'll get those forms done after we're done eating." Oto hums, eyes turning towards the pot that I set on one of the coasters in the dining table, and goes to grab a plate. "How are things going on your end, though?"

"Me?" My guardian asks, "Same as usual. More papers to check, more classes to teach, more students that I have to wrangle in order to make them pay attention..."

He was glancing in my direction with a pointed look, even as I rolled my eyes and got out of my seat, taking a bowl and ladling the rice from the cooker. "You know I pay attention, Oto. Now Zaimokuza on the other hand..."

"Don't worry, I always give him my daily telling off." Oto smiles at that, shaking his head at the memory, "Sometimes, that kid... Well, I can already see you getting a headache over there, so let's just eat. Might even watch the news while we're at it."

I shrug, setting down the bowl full of rice on one of the other coasters while my guardian sets the table. A quick prayer for bountiful blessings, and we were off to eat, with Oto turning on the television in the meantime.

Sadly, it turns out we missed the evening news, and the rest of the channels were now showing their usual variety shows. With a sigh, Oto turns off the television, and turns to scoop up some of his curry. Right before he takes a bite out of it, however...

"How are things going with Hiratsuka-sensei?" I chime in with a smile, watching as my guardian hacks and swallows the spoonful of curry.

Oto glares at me for that, thumping his chest three times before he lets out a blissful sigh. One that quickly turns into a cross look, as he glares at me for bringing up the topic in the first place. "Things are going fine."

"Judging by your glare, it seems that things are going not fine."

"Things are going fine." He harrumphs, taking a bite out of his curry before his eyes widen and immediately downs a glass of water. "... Damn, you make your curries spicy. Uh, anyways, where was I? Yeah, nothing's happening. That's a good thing in my opinion."

"Uh, why?" Even an idiot like me could see that you're smitten by her. Or she's smitten with you. It's either one or the other, and I'll be damned if I just let you sit around there twiddling your thumbs like an idiot if there's even a lick of a chance that I could help.

"You don't–" He pauses, furrowing his brows in thought, before he lets out a curt nod and turns towards me a second later. "You don't date within the workplace, Niji. For a variety of reasons, at that."

"What, it's illegal?"

"No, but you still wouldn't do it." I stare. Judging from the look on my face, Oto thought me stupid. Which was... well, I wouldn't want to say it's an accurrate assessment, but I'm willing to give him the point on this topic alone. "Look, say for example, Shizuka and I got together."

"Uh-huh."

"Then we break up in the future. Whether or not it's by a variety of reasons, the results remain the same." He stares at me, pointing a fork in my direction just as I start eating the curry. "What do you do?"

Oh, now I get why the curry was so spicy. I forgot to add the cream. Still, not to toot my own horn when it comes to these types of matters, but it was still delicious. "I'd take you to the side, and ask you if you want a beer, a shoulder to cry on, or if you want me to call on ahead and tell them that you're sick for the day."

My guardian blinks, before giving me a watery smile that disappears a second after. With a sigh and a shake of his head, he ruffles my hair, and I grumble back a warning.

"Good to know that I'm in good hands when that sort of thing happens." He gives me a smile, "But that's not what I was talking about. On the hypothetical situation that Shizuka and I get together and then we break up, I still have to go to work. Still have to see her every day. To try and at least get something done while she's working just a few cubicles away from me."

I wince. "That would get pretty awkward."

"Now you see where I was going." Oto gives me a smile. "Even if I wanted to get on with her – not that I want to–" He glares at me, "–Should things go badly, then things are going to get a lot more awkward around the office."

"And you most certainly can't have that." I mumble into my spoon, even as I take another bite. "Cnngh hmmv Okkho bnngh hppynh, afngh ahll–"

"Don't eat with your mouth full." My guardian snaps, and I quickly swallow my own bite before I begin to eat in earnest. "For goodness's sake, Niji. You're going to turn away any suitors you might have in the future."

"Not gonna get any if I can help it." I reply once I was done chowing down on a spoonful of curry, "I'll probably just be here to take care of your sorry ass until you can shack up with someone. Of course, if you plan on staying single..."

"Then I shall be in your care for a while longer, Niji." Oto intones with a solemn expression on his face, switching back into smile as he finishes up the rest of the food on his plate. He leans back against his chair and lets out a sigh, patting his belly with a hand while giving a thumbs-up with the other. "... Well, that was good. Think you can save up some for tomorrow's lunch?"

I glance at the pot, still finding it half-full. I shrug in response, and quickly finish up the rest of my own meal. "Sure, why not. About those forms, though..."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll get right on it." My guardian grumbles back, getting off his seat and sauntering back towards his room. I tilt my head to the side, glancing back down towards the clean plates on the dining table, and I let out a grin.

"Oi, you're supposed to clean the dishes!" I call out, and Oto promptly replies by giving me the finger. I could only sigh in response, shaking my head at the sight, but it doesn't kill the thin smile on my face as I cleaned up the table and began to wash the dishes at the sink.

At least the club's noise problem is getting sorted out soon. Even if the price meant that I have to wash the dishes.

---

Chapter 7 – Shuffling Papers


I arrive at the Tabletop Gaming Club with an ashen expression on my face, sitting down on one of the numerous seats around the table before letting out a yawn. Zaimokuza stares at me for a few seconds before shaking his head, a thin smile on his face, and I glare at him for it.

Not that I could put much venom into it however, given that I had all but slapped my face onto the table and let out a slow, blissful sigh. Oh, hard wood-polymer-thing-substance, how I wished I could take you home... but that would mean asking Oto-sensei for a requisition form, and that would put me squarely on his 'must annoy' radar. I couldn't have that. Not when I'm running low on fumes.

The door to the clubroom slides open, and Ebina-san's voice pipes up a few seconds later, as I could hear her dragging her seat from underneath the table. "What's wrong with Niji-san?"

"He's been sleeping on and off for the entire day." Zaimokuza whispers, though the fact that I can hear him doing so killed the point of whispering in the first place, "It started ever since first period, and he's been called out at least once every subject when the sages that make this hallowed place of learning their home see him dozing off. My loyal retainer answered them all though, just as I had expected! Still, what an asshat, yes?"

"Oi, I heard you." I snap back, glaring at the tubby bastard while watching Ebina-san take a seat, staring at me with curious eyes of her own. With a shake of my head, I swung my bookbag onto the table, hearing it land with a heavy thump, and I quickly take out a stack of paperwork that I then place on the table itself.

My fellow club members gawk at the stack of papers. Ebina-san seems to be quicker on the uptake however, and turns towards me with furrowed brows. "You got all of this done in one night?"

"Yep." I reply, letting out another yawn as I did so, "Better I do it now before I forget about it, and it just sits half-filled in a random drawer somewhere in the apartment."

""Apartment?""

Oh for goodness's sake... "Oto-sensei and I share a home. He's my guardian. Any more frivolous questions that I need to answer before I get that over to our good pals in the Music Club and ask them to help me with this kind of thing?"

"Someone's cranky." Ebina-san teases, and I grumble a few choice words under my breath before I place an arm across my face, blocking out the afternoon sun.

"Sorry." I glumly reply. "I've been running on coffee and... and four, four and a half hours of sleep?"

I blink owlishly at the blackened ceiling, before I remember to put down my arm and stare at a particular spot on the wall with narrowed eyes. "I think that it'll go away with time. Yeah, I'll probably just need a bit more rest. Tomorrow's a free day, right?"

"Tomorrow's Saturday..."

"I'll probably sleep through the first few hours of club period, then." I nod resolutely, turning towards Zaimokuza and giving him a watery smile. He stares back at me in turn, a cross expression on his face, but his expression eventually morphs into a sigh of exasperation.

Chuuni support, get.

"I shall not bother you during that time as thanks to your services rendered, my loyal retainer." He thunders, before glancing towards Ebina-san and taking on a more genial tone, "Shall we play a card game while Niji goes about his task, Ebina-sama?"

She nods glumly, pushing the paperwork back in my direction as she massages her temples. "Well, good luck on doing that, Niji-san. I suppose I would've helped you with that... but well, it seems you have it all in hand."

"Yes, well..." I trail off, sheepishly pulling the stack of paperwork back towards me while taking another gander at my notes. All of it was scribbled in a half-scrawl, with at least a quarter of the pages struck through with various shades of fancy, and I can't help but wince at the sight before I dump my 'notes' back into my bookbag.

All that's left is just a thin stack of paperwork that was actually required to get things done. Ran it through the photocopy around six times just in case, of course.

I glance out the clubroom, before turning back towards the pair with a wide smile. "Don't look at the back of the whiteboard while I'm gone, yeah? You'll take SAN damage."

That seemed to pique their interest. Too bad for them, since I was entirely serious about the warning.

With a grunt, I got myself out of my seat, walking over towards the Music Club while smoothing down my clothing. I couldn't be seen as too crass, nor do I need to be seen as sleep-starved. That would probably sour the rest of the Music Club's opinion of us... not that we need any more incentive to make them hate us more, given that we've been causing a ruckus for the past week.

So here I am, standing in front of the Music Club, and taking a deep breath to steady myself before knocking on the door. The music within becomes softer, muffled conversations echoing through the wall, but it eventually swells once again as the door slides open and I am greeted with a freshman.

"Hello..." He trails off, noticing the color of my tie, "... senpai. What can we do for you today?"

"Is Shiromeguri-senpai here?" I ask, holding up the stack of paperwork in my hand. "I have some papers that I have to deliver."

"Uh..." The freshman trails off, his eyes going cross-eyed for a second before he turns towards the other people currently inside his clubroom. "I'll get someone...?"

Typical. I nod and huff, motioning for him to get on with it, and watch as the freshman scurries off to get someone who's much higher up in the hierarchy. It takes him a few seconds, time that I spent leaning against the doorframe with crossed arms and looking like someone you wouldn't want to disturb. Maybe my lack of sleep had some help in that department as well, since I seem to be giving everyone the stink eye.

Still, I'm presented with a second-year that gives me a genial smile, even if he looked nervous at the prospect of interacting with me. Seriously, I'm shorter than most people, and you're intimidated?

"Hello...?"

"Niji." I reply back, one eyebrow arched at him. "One of your neighbors right over there."

I jab a thumb into the direction of my clubroom, and the second-year frowns. "Ah."

Yes. 'Ah', indeed. What do you do now given that your mortal enemy has suddenly appeared on your doorstep, bearing nothing more than paperwork and letters?

"I'm looking for your club president." I sigh, presenting him the stack of paperwork that I have in hand. He raises an eyebrow at it, and I reply to his unasked question by allowing him to browse through the details. Though it certainly didn't take long before his eyes widen, and stare at me with an odd expression on his face. "We know we've been causing a ruckus. Best we get this argument done and over with before it gets ugly."

He takes another look at the paperwork just to be sure, blinking owlishly at it before giving me another stare. "You're planning to relocate clubrooms?"

"We've only been in there for a week. We'll survive." I drawled. Sure, it would be a pain to actually move all of our stuff out of the clubroom, and there's no doubt that Oto-sensei would have to fill out more forms to get a paper trail of the materials that we're going to be moving from one clubroom to the other, and I'll have to listen to Zaimokuza's complaints all the while...

Alright, so moving clubrooms would be pretty shitty. But not as shitty as being chewed out almost everyday for being so loud. Of course, most of the blame could be held at Zaimokuza's feet, but alas, I'll cross that problem once he still keeps on being loud.

"So." I pipe up, snapping my fingers at the second-year and snapping him out of his thoughts. "Your club president?"

He sputters for a second, before he babbles out an answer. "Shiromeguri-senpai said that she's in the Student Council Room doing some work of her own, so..."

I nod, taking back the files and giving him a smile. "Then I'll be on my way."

"Wait!"

Oddly enough, I didn't. I swiveled around on a dime, and began marching off to where the Student Council Room is supposed to be. Let's see, I know the route out of the club building well enough by this point in time, but as to where the Student Council Room is...

Good thing that we're in an era that had the internet. Let's see, Soubu High, map of the school, find out where the Student Council Room is... and it's close to the offices by the main building. Alright then, there's my destination.

A few minutes of walking through corridors and up a flight of stairs, and I found myself standing in front of my destination. The words 'Student Council Room' had been embossed on the nameplate in a clear and concise manner, and a look through the windows that led in the room shows... nothing, since the blinds had been drawn. Presumably to keep out the afternoon light.

Trying to listen through the door gives me nothing, despite the fact that it was another run-of-the-mill sliding door that was normally used for classrooms. Still, with no additional information I could use, there was nothing left for me to do but to knock.

Three sharp raps ring against the door, before I take a step back and wait. It takes a few seconds in order for the door to slide open, revealing... well, the senior that I had just met yesterday.

"Ah!" She exclaims with a smile, snapping her fingers as she tried to remember my name. "You're... you're part of the club right beside the Music Club."

"Niji." I nod in response, before holding up the papers in one hand and giving her a sheepish smile. "Can I come in, senpai...?"

"Sure, sure!" She replies, ushering me in with a wave of her arm. Once I was inside, she closes the door and opens the blinds to the room, before giving the paperwork in my hand a stare. "May I...?"

I nod, shuffling over the papers towards her while I take a look around the room. An office chair with rollers, two beanbags, a coffee table, and a couch off to one side, and what seems to be two computers set-up on desks with various file holders right beside them. It looks more like an office rather than what I'd expect a Student Council Room to be... which meant I had to sit on a monobloc chair that faced one of the desks, seemingly deserted for the time being.

"Ah. Ah, it's about this thing!" Shiromeguri-senpai exclaims once more, before she quickly sprints from the entrance to the heavy-looking desk on the other side of the room. "I do recall you saying that you wanted to move clubrooms to solve the problem, but I didn't expect you to be done so soon!"

"Best I get this done now rather than forget it for later." I parrot once more, tilting my head to the side and wondering how many times I repeated those same words today. I shrug a second later, deeming it not too important, only to jolt as Shiromeguri-senpai sits down on the other side of the desk with seemingly casual ease, a stamp case on her free hand.

"Well, all of it checks out so far." She murmurs, flicking through the paperwork once again and humming a soft tune underneath her breath. "Some things I need to fill in, so this would probably take a few minutes, but... well, everything seems to be in order on your end, so I'm guessing all you need is my side of the matter and we can take this to the faculty for approval?"

I nod, causing Shiromeguri-senpai to hum once more and filch a pen from the desk, twirling it around her fingers as she scoots over to one side of the desk and places one copy of the papers onto it.

"So!" She once again speaks, aiming a smile at me all the while, "While I'm busy editing this thing, let's talk!"

"Uh... sure?" It wasn't as if I could just say no.

"Good, good!" Shiromeguri-senpai speaks, clapping her hands once before the computer beeps, and she begins typing at a fast pace. "So Niji – can I call you Niji-san? -- I'm pretty sure that the paperwork to file this thing is quite rare. And also takes a lot of work to fill out. Hard to believe that you did this all in... one day? We last met yesterday, right?"

"Mhm." I nod, more than happy to just stare at my senior typing obscenely fast into her keyboard. I was sure Oto-sensei did that faster... or maybe my eyes just couldn't keep up. I took my glasses off and wiped them clean just in case. "That's what Oto-sensei told me. Both of us agonized over the damn thing for around... what, a few hours? Pretty sure I went to sleep last night with only around four, four and a half hours of sleep."

My senior stops typing. I froze in place, mostly due to the glare that Shiromeguri-senpai gave me. "Make sure to take care fo yourself."

"Uh, yes."

"Getting this done–" She waves one of the papers in front of my face, "–In just a single night is commendable, but you shouldn't sacrifice your sleep just to smooth things over, alright?"

"Sure?"

Am I... am I being scolded right now? Judging by the cross look on Shiromeguri-senpai's face as she continues on her tirade, I'm guessing correctly.

Knowing that such a thing was happening, I fashioned a placid calm over my face, simply watching as Shiromeguri-senpai scolded me for the next few minutes, her scoldings punctuated by sharp clacks of the keyboard that she used to type... something into the computer.

By the time that she was finished, and I could hear the telltale whir of a printer, I could only let out a numb nod in response to my upperclassman's glare.

"I'll do better next time." I reply in a hollow manner. "Besides, I'm planning on sleeping off tomorrow anyway, so it's fine."

If it were even possible, Shiromeguri-senpai's frown became even deeper. I then replayed my earlier statement, winced, and quickly changed tack. "By that, I meant sleeping it off during club period, senpai. I'm planning to stay awake during classes."

"That's what they all say..." She mutters in a dark voice, still continuing to glare at me even as she staples together what seems to be an edited version of the paperwork that I gave to her. With a huff, she scoots over towards the second desk in the room, and places the edited copy into the photocopier machine.

A few button presses and the telltale glow of a laser later, Shiromeguri-senpai turns towards me with hands on her hips, even if she hadn't even stood up once ever since she got onto that seat. Frankly, I'd do the same – office chairs with rollers are a precious luxury, and should be used to their fullest.

... Now I want one...

"Niji, get back to your club." I blink, finding Shiromeguri-senpai glaring at me again, and I let out a sigh.

"Can I ask why?"

"You look like you could use the sleep."

i sputter, even as a flash of mischief crosses my upperclassman's eyes, "You just scolded me for not sleeping!"

"Well I'm most certainly going to stop you from snoring through your club period tomorrow afternoon." She grumbles, "Go. I can most certainly handle things from here on out, since I just need to stamp these documents and I'll be the one to send them to the faculty. You need some sleep, and I am getting cabin fever for being cooped up in here for so long."

"You could just open the blinds..."

"Uh, uh! Not taking lip from someone sleep-deprived!" Shiromeguri-senpai replies back with a smile on her face, even as I glare at her in exasperation, "Maybe get eight hours of sleep before suggesting anything, hm?"

Maybe. But I'll be the better person and let you have the last word. "Thanks for the help, Shiromeguri-senpai."

She replies back with a thinner smile, "No worries, Niji-san. Now go! Your clubmates need you. I can only shudder how loud they're being right now without you to moderate their voices."

I stop, tilt my head to the side, and think about it. Before bowing profusely at Shiromeguri-senpai a second later. "I very much apologize for the conduct of my club members, and I would be willing to shoulder all responsibility for their actio–"

"Just go."

I didn't need to be told twice. I turn around, open the door out of the Student Council Room, and immediately begin fast-walking towards the clubroom, a thunderous expression on my face. If that tubby bastard was being noisy again, then...

... Then I have to start planning for a TPK.

---

Chapter 8 – Delays


"The stone door rolls open with a shudder, the boulder in your path rolling down an unseen groove to a recess in the smooth walls." I thunder, "Torches light up as soon as the door opens, orange light blazing and flickering upon metallic sconces as it leads to a vast chamber hewn from beneath the earth."

"Here lies the cistern of the castle, damp with moisture and holding innumerable swathes of water. Stone-hewn pathways seem to be the only method of traversal throughout the cavernous space, arranged like the spokes of a wheel that leads into a central pillar. A pillar in which a cloaked figure now stands, the light from the torches illuminating a golden mask."

It took around three days for Gilsanda and Uma to finish their introductory session of sorts, the one where they were supposed to be investigating hostile goblins around a village and somehow found a caster using them to destabilize the kingdom's outlying villages. Now, Gilsanda and Uma found themselves facing down a caster that had just finished assassinating the prince and some other noteworthy nobles in the local fort to further destabilize the kingdom.

... Ah, I am not reusing plot points, you see. Yes, most definitely not. I can scrounge up a story for this. Uh, something about a conspiracy from another kingdom wanting to fully destabilize this particular one before they move to annex it, or something like that. I'll make things up as I go.

"Golden mask...?" Zaimokuza trails off, quickly browsing through his notes before letting out a crow of victory. "Aha! The caster that we had captured in the outlying village had been wearing such a thing! Ergo, the General Shogun Uma rolls to remember details about said golden mask!"

"Roll for investigation." A quick roll of the dice later, and I scowl at Zaimokuza's result. "Uma recognizes the golden mask almost immediately, what with it being the same mask tucked into the robes of the caster than had been harrying the village of Harrenhol. There is no doubt that this figure and that caster are connected with one another."

"Stop right there, fiend!" The tubby bastard screams, loud enough that I wince and lean away from him. It certainly didn't help matters that he was pointing a finger at me, jabbing at the thin screen that kept all of my notes out of prying eyes. "We have foiled your plans and unraveled your schemes! Surrender now, and we shall see if the kingdom is willing to spare you for your grievances!"

Hard to say that the intrepid duo foiled some plans and unraveled some schemes when they just blindly stumbled onto the cloaked figure withdrawing a baselard from the prince's chest... Not to mention that the entirety of the castle guard nipping on their heels for the fact that Zaimokuza screwed up on that little murder mystery a session ago.

"Ebina-san?" I ask, jolting our other club member out of her stupor as she swivels towards me with a smile. "Does Gilsanda do anything?"

She blinks. Then stares at her character sheet for a few seconds, before giving me a sheepish smile. "Gilsanda just glares menacingly at the cloaked figure...?"

... Alright. I can deal with that, at the very least. "The cloaked figure does not respond to Uma's shriek. Instead, their golden mask tilts to the side, seemingly as if in confusion, before it straightens back with a sudden click. Something tinkles against the cistern's stoneworks, before a rush of shadow seemingly comes over the cloaked figure, swirling out from inside their robes and–"

"UMA SENDS A BOLT OF LIGHTNING DIRECTLY TOWARDS THAT VILLAINOUS SCUM!"

I blink. Just in case I misheard what Zaimokuza had just said, I took off my glasses, and wiped them clean before giving him a look of confusion. The tubby bastard had already rolled his dice, and I've already rigged, er, fixed, er, I mean stored my earlier rolls for this type of situation. Not that it did anything for a natural 20, though.

There wasn't a word that's enough to describe the sheer exasperation that I was feeling right now. "So. You're casting a lightning bolt in the middle of a cistern."

"Yes. Why?"

I stare. "You're casting a lightning bolt in the middle of a damp, humid chamber, where the space in between stone walkways that are barely larger than you is filled to the brim with water."

Zaimokuza sputters. "I... well, I–"

"Well, you already made your decision, so it would be remiss of me to actually stop you from doing so." My voice held a lilt of sadness to it, even as my mouth slowly opens into a grin. "Very well. With a thunderous wail, a crackle of sparks erupted forth from Uma's fingertips, forking, spurting, and splitting off into globules of blue fire as they–"

"STOP!" The tubby bastard shrieks, forcing me to clear my ears once again while giving him an unenthused glare. By now, Ebina-san would've been tearing him a new one, but... she's still busy thinking on her character sheet. Definitely odd. "I-I, isn't groundwater a great insulator for electricity?"

My rough attempts at twirling a pen stop, before I give Zaimokuza an evil grin. "Yes, yes it is. Your point being?"

"You son of a bi–"

"A crackle of sparks emerges from Uma's fingertips, coalescing into a blue lightning bolt that sails through the air." I cut in, a playful grin still on my face even as the tubby bastard muttered curses under his breath. No doubt that he'll say that it was 'cursed spells' or something embarrassing, so I didn't pay much heed to it. "With a thunderclap, the entire cistern lights up for but an instant, the lightning bolt slamming against a figurine of twisted shadow. As the sudden lights fade away a few seconds later, you are greeted to the sight of..."

I click my tongue, and cross out a line in my notes. "... Three fragments of a golden mask, wreathed in shadow and floating ominously in the air, bobbing and weaving ominously before they disperse somewhere into the cistern, just as the light from the torches cut off."

Boss battle time. And I was feeling a bit more miffed than usual. Why? Because Zaimokuza – loveable tubby bastard that he is – had all just blasted one of the boss's phases with his lightning bolt. The only consolation that I have of this entire situation is that Uma had used his last cast of the spell, since there hadn't been a time to rest given the feasting, and sudden poisoning, and murder mystery, and accusations, and running, and finding the golden-masked figure having finished assassinating the prince...

Still, that was one-quarter of the boss's health gone. And that was the assassin-type!

"Gilsanda, bring up a torch!" Zaimokuza pipes up, only to pause as he didn't receive a reply in time. He turns towards Ebina-san... and finds her currently staring at her phone, cursing at whatever she found on it before flipping it back closed. With a huff, she pushes her phone back into her pockets before turning towards us. Only for her expression to wilt a second later. "Ebina-sama, is something wrong?"

"No, no, it's nothing." It was most definitely something. Even Zaimokuza can see that, since the tubby bastard lets out a sigh and turns his character sheet face-down, turning towards Ebina-san with a worried expression on his face. I do so as well, slapping my notes closed and covering them using the plastic screen. "Like I said, it's fine! So, Zaimokuza-san was saying that I need to light a torch–"

Ring.

That was Zaimokuza's phone. Why the tubby bastard didn't even set it to silent was irritating, and I was about to berate him for it... only for my own phone to begin vibrating as well. With a huff, I quickly pull out my phone and bring up a new message, my eyes narrowing into slits as I saw what was within.

E-mail from unknown address said:

If you do not send this message to at least two other people, then this message shall make itself known–

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

"Can't believe I get messages from telemarketers these days..." I drawl, blocking the e-mail address and deleting the message right after. "It's only been a few weeks since I switched numbers."

"A chain message." Zaimokuza huffs, "Woefully primitive by the standards of this Lord General Shogun. There have multiple attempts by shadowy powers beyond the grave to tempt me into their frightening grips, but this message is but a mere shade compared to them. Naught more than a child grasping for the fruits of its betters perhaps, but it is still quite a–"

"Is it spam?" I snap back in an exasperated tone, and the tubby bastard lets out a sheepish smile before sliding his phone over towards me. A single glance at his spam folder, and I let out a sigh. "... You sure have it rough, buddy."

"Blocking them only stymies their attempts for a time. They are relentless in their pursuit, you see." Zaimokuza intones, before turning towards the other member of our club with a raised brow. "Did you receive the same chain message as well, Ebina-sama?"

"... Pretty much." She huffs, "Bad enough that it's a chain message, but it also concerns some of my friends as well."

"You have friends?"

"Zaimokuza." I hiss, watching as the tubby bastard wilts under my glare and lets out an awkward laugh. Still, Ebina-san seems to take it in stride, letting out a huff of her own before turning to scratch her cheek.

"Well not exactly friends, but acquaintances?" She hums, now tapping her cheek. "Well, they're friends of my friend's friends, if you want to keep it simple and confusing. I guess we're not really friends at all if that's the case...?"

Truly. What a wonderful social circle. And Oto tells me to make some more friends. Ha! "Then you shouldn't be worried."

"Ordinarily, I wouldn't be." Ebina-san grumbles, "Things are a bit different if I'm apparently acquainted with delinquents, however."

The words hang in the room for a few seconds, before i let out a snort barely disguised as a laugh. Ebina-san glares at me for it, and I quickly rear back and put my arms back, faking a surrender while shaking my head. "Sorry, sorry, it's just... hrk, it's a chain message. Scams. That sort of thing. It's rumors at best, something to just ignore at its worst."

"I really can't." She winces, "Bad enough that things are awkward around my friends now, but it'll get worse when that workplace visit comes up."

Workplace... Visit...?

"That sounds important." I whisper, before turning towards Zaimokuza with wide eyes. "Do you know what the workplace visit is supposed to be about?"

"It's in the name, my loyal retainer!" The tubby bastard crows with another thump to his chest. "It is during that time that our sages pluck our souls from the present and place us into the glimpse of a potential future! It is where we refine our motivations, where we are forced to confront our past selves and–"

It was a mistake to ask him that question. "Ebina-san?"

She shrugs at my unasked question. "We pick a group of three or four people, pick a location from the list that the teachers give us, and we get shuffled out there and given a rough tour. Simple as that."

With blood paling from my face, I turn towards Zaimokuza, only to find the tubby bastard still monologuing on as to how he shall be visiting 'the ivory towers of a palace meant for those of great esteem such as I!' or some other droll. Given that the tubby bastard was busy echoing the sound of his own voice, I turn back towards Ebina-san once more, finding her looking at me with a mixture of amusement and surprise.

I didn't like it. "What?"

"You didn't know?" She asks, barely hiding her laughter behind a hand. I scowl at her, arms crossing my chest, and promptly reply back with more heat than I would've liked.

"I wasn't informed of this, no."

"Our homeroom teachers told us this just a few days ago!" Ebina-san exclaims, before tilting her head to the side. A flash of realization crosses her eyes, before she begins to massage her temples. "Ah, yes. That day. The day where Zaimokuza told me you were out of it since you worked through the paperwork to transfer clubrooms. I suppose you didn't get to pair up with anyone else during homeroom?"

My head shakes in the negative, before I turn to Zaimokuza with a hopeful gaze. He wasn't monologuing anymore, bless his soul, but the look of sorrow in his eyes only made the yawning pit in my stomach grow deeper.

"Sadly, I have already recruited my vassals for the journey ahead, my loyal retainer." The tubby bastard spoke in a sorrowful tone, a hand on my shoulder as he patted me in what was supposedly an act of comfort. "But do not worry. I am sure other people would be more than willing to take you onto their own parties."

Hm. "That's a no."

"No?"

"What I mean is that I don't know anyone else in the class." I babbled, only to let out an awkward laugh as Zaimokuza gives me a look. "Save for you of course, but I thought that it'd be obvious."

"This is so much worse than I had expected." The tubby bastard whispers, his head falling into his hands. "I never thought I would live to see the day that my loyal retainer requires more help in social interactions than me!"

"Oi!"

Zaimokuza sniffs, and gives me a challenging stare. "Very well. I shall not help you convince the other parties in our class to recruit you."

"On second thought Lord-General Shogun-sama, I might need your help in this grievous matter."

Ebina-san stares at me in disappointment. The tubby bastard all but preens as my words, even as he barks out a few peals of laughter. "HA! Never let it said that the General Shogun would willingly throw his precious subordinates to the wolves! Where do you wish to go, Niji? I can think of a few groups that might be willing to take you in..."

I open my mouth. Then close it a second later, as I tilt my head to the side and think. Where would I want to go? From what Ebina-san told me, it was more or less a tour guide around some kind of location, explaining how things work and trying to stoke interest in whatever location we chose. Why else would they make it a workplace visit, after all...

... Though there in lay the problem, doesn't it? Bad enough that I hadn't gotten a group for the workplace visit what with me pulling up an all-nighter back then, but where I'd be visiting is also up in the air. And infinitely more annoying, since now that I think about it, there wasn't really any place that I'd like to visit.

At the very least, it would make it easier to join some of the other groups. Not that there was a chance that they'd take me in, but a little hope never hurt anyone.

"Hey Zaimokuza." I pipe up, "Do you have any recommendations?"

On second thought, it was the worst question that I could've asked. As the tubby bastard starts descending into another chuuni rant, I let out a sigh and stare at the window, my hands drumming on the table as I think of finding a way to get into this workplace visit without stepping on too much toes.

"I'm guessing we'll be ending today's club meeting, then?" Ebina-san asks, shooting me a sheepish smile. "Someone needs to catch up on the whole workplace visit, after all."

"Might as well." I let out a sigh, beginning to pack up my notes with a huff. "We'll do the boss battle next session, then. Sadly, that means Uma can still cast their last lightning bolt, which is a damn shame."

Ebina-san grins. "Well, he rolled well."

... That he did. Hopefully, it won't happen next time.

AN: Been a while since I got back to writing this. Have a smaller update while I get back into the groove of things.

---

Chapter 9 – Tomorrow


Let it be known that I, Shinsei Niji, like the concept of workplace visits. Getting a bit of a look at what your future workplace might look like is certainly something that I'd want, preferably so I could just say 'nope' and get out of there the moment I see an office cubicle in the background. If I had more time to think about which place I should be visiting, then I could've certainly picked a place. Maybe a publishing house. That sounded interesting.

Alas, by my (and 'by my', I mean Zaimokuza's) folly, I'm unable to do so, since I had been busy filing the paperwork to transfer club rooms. Not that it was a task that I could've left up to that tubby bastard, and I'm pretty sure that it's bad manners to dump the task on someone who literally just joined less than a week ago like Ebina-san. Ergo, it had been up to me to file that paperwork, which left me blindsided by the sudden realization that the workplace visit was happening tomorrow.

"Niji, that's a good explanation and all, but you still haven't told me where you're going for the workplace visit."

I grumble, shifting my position on the back of Oto's car, only for me to let out a hiss as a sudden bump in the road causes my head to softly barrel into the left car door. Needless to say it was painful, but who speeds over road bumps? Oh right. My guardian. What an asshat.

"I don't know." I can only respond in return, scratching my cheek while staring up at the roof of the car. "Besides, even if I did try to get it done, it's probably too late. Odds are I'll probably just be roaming around Soubu for the entire day with nothing to do."

"Maybe if you did your workplace visit form earlier..."

"Look, I fucked it up, are you happy now?" Oto rolls his eyes, shifting gears before turning the car at a crossing. "It's probably not going to happen again. Still, I'm probably going to be sleeping the rest of the day off if it comes to that–"

"Oh hell no. You're still going to go on a workplace visit."

What–? "Are you serious?"

"Yes." He confirms. "Now, I don't you don't really care for teaching that much, but at the very least you can learn what I do every day for a living. And Soubu's the best high school in the local area by a mile off, eccentricity notwithstanding. Or maybe they're both related. Can't have intelligence with a little bit of insanity, or so they say."

Oto shrugs, turning on the wipers as raindrops began splattering on the windshield. "Besides, it's a school day tomorrow. If you think that I'll let you sleep the rest of the day off, then I'm afraid that someone's going to be woken up by pots and pans."

Ugh. Just thinking about going through that is more than enough to give me a headache or two. Not the fact that I have to wake up early; goodness knows that's more or less a given what with the fact that Oto still has things to do before classes start. But the fact that Oto had apparently planned to put me into a workplace visit at Soubu was... hm. Inspired, I guess? Still annoying, however.

Checking paperwork, preparing syllabuses, actually teaching and standing up for hours on end, with only a few breaks to rest... Why do people go into this profession again? Maybe it was for the exercise. I wonder if I'd be able to drag Zaimokuza along with me on this, burn off some of his fat. He definitely needs it, given how much stuff he eats on a daily basis.

"Hey, at least you won't be going anywhere you don't know." Oto snorts, "Less chance for you to get lost, that way."

I roll my eyes, pulling myself up and poking my head into the front seat. Let Oto have his wins for now. I'll get back at him sometime later. "So if you're planning on just having me as a gofer throughout the day, I don't see much difference as to what we usually do."

"You know that I don't give you that much work, right?"

"But the fact that you have to do so means that you're dumped with too much work for you to do by yourself." I reply back, before letting out a hum and giving my guardian a blank stare. "... Though, I'm pretty sure you'd be able to scrape by if you just stop slacking off and stop hiding by our clubroom and snoring the rest of the afternoon away."

"Nope." I stare. "Besides, I'm the one that's gonna be supervising the rest of your classmates for the workplace visit tomorrow. That means that I'll be traveling around the city and checking up on the groups on the off-chance that they do something stupid – which I'm fully counting on, by the way – so it means that you're probably going to be put under another teacher. Most likely the Student Council, since well... this is all on short notice."

"Don't have to keep bringing it up, Oto." I grumble, tilting my head to the side as the rainfall worsens. "So, basically what you're saying is that I'm probably going to be pawned off to the StuCo as like... their gofer for a day?"

"Pretty much." My guardian replies with a shrug. "There's still some things that you need to fill out after the workplace visit that you need to pass though, so make sure you pay attention. I'm not sure the other teachers are going to be willing to cut you some slack if they made the time to spare to cut you in and you had nothing to show for it."

A fair point. I'd be pretty pissed as well if I spared the time to make a world only for Zaimokuza to veer off-course and indulge in shenaniganry. There was that one time, and another, and another... Though to be fair, we managed to make it work, but at the very least the current campaign with Ebina-san was reigning in his other tendencies. Maybe because he didn't want to chase them off, especially just after we got a third member.

Wait, what was I supposed to be thinking about again? Ah, right. Workplace visit. "Yeah, yeah, I'll do my best."

"Somehow, you saying that makes me a little more concerned..." Oto sighs, shaking his head before slowly easing to a stop, pulling the handbrake while we waited for the traffic lights to turn green. "So, how's your new member? Ebina Hina, right?"

"She's fine." My guardian waggles an eyebrow in response, and I can't help but let out an exasperated sigh, leaning back onto my seat while massaging my temples. "Not in that way, for fuck's sake–"

"I'm pretty sure that was a slip of the tongue–"

"Look, she gets on well with Zaimokuza, and that's good enough for me." I cut in, more or less to stop Oto from babbling his mouth more than anything else. "At the very least, her presence makes him leery of saying stupid shit out loud, which is good enough for me. Helps that she's interested in the club itself, so that's another point in her favor."

And if I were to be frank, actually talking with other people that's not Zaimokuza was a blessing. And I'm pretty that by all accounts, Oto doesn't count. Even disregarding the fact that he's my guardian and all that.

"You like her?"

"Platonically, yeah." Because sometimes you just need to hammer the statement in, since I'm pretty that by this point I'm convinced that Oto has memory problems. "Even better if she decides to stick it out. We're only barely within a week of being a club, after all. Maybe I'll be a bit more comfortable when a month passes by and everything's still hunky-dory."

"Couple with the fact that she can substitute as Zaimokuza's babysitter when you aren't around."

"That too." You agree with a nod. "You can't forget that trait as well. While it's true that any member that tries to join the club needs to deal with Zaimokuza's antics, I'm thinking that the more people in the club, the more that Zaimokuza needs to turn down his chuuni-ness, which equates to a win-win condition for all of us."

"Sometimes, I worry for you..." Oto sighs, shaking his head a few seconds later before giving me a smile. "Still, it's good that you're acquainting yourselves with other people your age. I don't think it's a good idea to keep on spending time with this old man. Makes you older than you normally are, for sure."

"I wholeheartedly agree."

"At this rate, I think I need to find someone who can take you down a peg or two as well." Oto mutters, tapping his cheek with a finger as we slowly pull into the apartment complex's parking lot. "Goodness knows you need it."

No, I don't think that would be necessary. I've already got more on my plate to deal with what with Zaimokuza and all that, so I don't think I need another headache in my life. Not to mention the fact that I'm all but acting as a dumping ground for some of Oto's extra paperwork...

"Well, we're here." Oto pipes up, unclipping his seatbelt and peering past the windshield. "Did we bring an umbrella?"

"Pretty sure we didn't." I reply hum, resting my chin on the shotgun seat while watching the raindrops slide down the glass. "Weather earlier in the morning basically told us that there's little to no chance of raining, so I didn't bring any." My eyes move over towards my guardian, giving him a blank stare. "... And by the fact that you're asking me, I'm assuming you also didn't bring an umbrella as well."

A second passes before Oto turns around and gives me a watery smile. "You know, you should make it a habit to bring an umbrella with you at all times. In fact, it's a hallmark of responsibility to at least take into account anything that could affect your day-to-day life, and the weather is all but one of the many, many factors that–"

"You don't have the right to scold me over this, mister 'I-also-forgot-to-bring-an-umbrella'." I grumble back, rolling my eyes at my guardian's antics even as he kept babbling on. Best to swing over to a new conversation topic now. Mostly to stop the white noise from degenerating even further.

"... So, what do you want to have for dinner today?" I ask, causing Oto stop babbling and blink.

"What do we have in the fridge?"

"I don't know." I glumly reply, leaning back against my seat and fixing my guardian with furrowed brows. "Weren't you the one that went to the supermarket for this week?"

"Yeah, but I just went through the list that you sent me."

"Oh for fuck's sake..." I scowl, bringing up my phone and scrolling through my overworked note app to find that particular grocery list for the week. Notes for my campaigns, notes about upcoming assignments (There's a quiz for world history the day after tomorrow? What the hell, Shinahara-sensei?), notes about my... other hobbies, and finally notes about something more domestically-related.

All color-coded. Because I'm not a philistine.

"Let's see..." I take a look at the list, furrowing my brows a second later before nodding to myself. "... Well, how do you feel about curry?"

"Curry? But we just had it a week ago." Oto whines, pulling the handbrake and shifting the car to neutral before leaning back the driver's seat, causing me to curse under my breath as I shuffled myself towards the right side of the car. "I'm thinking that it's gonna be a bit dull if we have it again."

"Well, I could cook up some eggs..."

"Isn't it too simple?"

My eye begins to twitch, sparing another glance at the grocery list before letting out a sigh. "Then, how about some seafood spaghetti? We still have a few tins of canned tuna left, right?"

No answer. A second passes before I slowly lower my phone, neck slowly craning towards Oto only to find him trying his best to avoid my gaze. Yeah, he was definitely guilty. Why was I even surprised at this point? I knew that my guardian loves canned tuna. Even found him sneaking some bites straight out of the tin during the few times that I woke up in the middle of the night.

But to think that the extra cans would be useless in face of my guardian's gluttony...

"Oi." I rumble. "Don't tell me you ate all of it already."

"Uh–"

"Don't answer. I already know." I sigh, staring out the window only to see that the rain still hasn't stopped falling. A few seconds pass in awkward silence until my mind pivots to an option. The most obvious option. The one that we should've taken before I outright suggested cooking something based on a grocery list that's almost a week old.

"Say, Oto." I ask, "Where's the nearest drive-thru?"

"... You know what, that's a good idea."

---

Chapter 10 – Counsel


"We're here."

I yawn, sluggishly mimicking my guardian, and I snatch my bag from the back seat before slowly getting out of the car. Despite being about half an hour or so before classes start, the sun was apparently doing its best to beat the hell out of everyone standing in the open – me included. My hearts out to the rest of my batchmates standing in the open while waiting for the buses to arrive. I for one, am going straight to the clubroom to doze off before school hours actually starts–

"Niji, over here."

My head swivels, finding Oto-sensei conversing with... one irate-looking Shiromeguri-senpai. Especially odd, since I'm pretty sure that I was more or less going to be assigned to someone in the student council... but on the other hand, Shiromeguri-senpai might be in the student council, so that particualr issue's solved.

With a grumble, I set off towards the two, more or less dragging my bag over my shoulder instead of lugging it around like I usually do. Oto takes one look at my sleep-deprived face, another look at Shiromeguri-senpai's less-than-enthused expression, and apparently decides to leave the both of us be with a smile.

"Well, play nice you two. I've still got a work place visit to supervise." And with that, Oto left, giving one last wave in our direction before he jogs off towards where the rest of the second-years were waiting for their buses.

Leaving Shiromeguri-senpai to push all of her vitriol on me. "Niji..."

The tone immediately makes me shiver, and I quickly eke out a bow in her direction while wondering what the hell Oto managed to tell her. "I'm very sorry for my guardian's attitude."

"What? No, that's not the point." She huffs, yanking my face upwards before ow, ow, ow that hurts– "I can't believe that you managed to miss the deadline for the workplace visit. Do you have any idea how important that is?! You'll be choosing your track for third year in a few months' time, you know!"

I tapped Shiromeguri-senpai's arms, and she release her deathgrip on my cheeks. I let out a sigh of relief, rubbing my cheeks together to relieve at least some of the pain before staring at her with a blank stare. "I know that, senpai. It's just that..."

"Hm?" Did anyone tell her that her glares are scary?

"... Alright, I won't say anything more." I wasn't in a mood to argue, anyway. Especially with someone that I've barely known for a while. Judging by the pleased nod on Shiromeguri-senpai's face, I can more or less assumed that I wasn't in more physical danger, especially since she started moving towards the special building. The StuCo office was on the top floor, I think... Wait. "Shiromeguri-senpai, are you part of the student council?"

"Yeah. I'm the president." She flippantly replies, giving me a glance out of the corner of her eye and grinning at my reaction. "Oh, what's this? Aren't you supposed to do some background research on the place that you're going to for a workplace visit?"

I blink. "Aren't I supposed to be working under the faculty?"

Shiromeguri-senpai hums. "Well, most of the 2nd​ year teachers are going to be supervising the groups going on actual workplace visits, and the rest that remained here are busy with other things and aren't really in the mood to entertain someone who forgot that they were supposed to submit the workplace visit form in the first place."

I glance to the side, just in time to avoid another glare. It takes a second or two before Shiromeguri-senpai starts talking once more. "So, Oto-sensei basically placed you under the student council for the day. About the only good news that we have is that all of our classes are waived for today. The bad news is basically everything else."

That is... well, I certainly can't deny that. "Am I being a bother?"

"Yep." Well, nice to see that Shiromeguri-senpai was upfront about the entire thing. But couldn't you have worded it in a less-damaging manner? "We still need to catch up for the lessons that we might have today and do any quizzes that we might've missed, so it's an overall pain in the ass. Not to mention that we'll probably have to do some StuCo work that we would be saving for later."

"Can't you just... Waive it for later?" I tilt my hand from side to side, causing Shiromeguri-senpai to huff and cross her arms over her chest.

"Sure, I can do that." She pipes up, "But that would just implant the idea that we can slack off during later StuCo meetings, and I can't really have that." Shiromeguri-senpai tuns towards me with a grin, one that sent shivers down my spine. "Don't worry, Shinsei-san. We'll have you doing some of the StuCo's work as well. We've got a lot of work piled up..."

My feet stop in the middle of the hallway, a half-smile frozen on my face. Shiromeguri-senpai stops as well, seemingly picking up on my reluctance in the matter, and turns towards me with a beaming smile.

"Getting cold feet?"


...

And so I was forced escorted to the student council room while under Shiromeguri-senpai's watchful gaze. Or well, not 'room' per se – now that I thought about it, this entire set-up looks more like an office compared to anything else. Or at least, one that didn't have any of those cubicles in it.

"So, here's our little gofer for the day." Shiromeguri-senpai beams towards the rest of the StuCo members, giving me a little push forward while audibly locking the door behind me. "Come on, Shinsei-san. Introduce yourself."

Why does that sound like a threat, of all things...? Most likely because I have three other people staring at me. Judging by the color of their ties and ribbons, all of them are third-years... which means that I am most definitely out of my depth. Three people was bad enough. Zaimokuza was more than a handful, and I'm still a bit off around Ebina-san.

Three more people, and third-years nonetheless... not to mention that Shiromeguri-senpai's nudging wasn't helping with this one bit.

"Uh..." Right, introductions. I take a step forward and lower my head. "Shinsei Niji, Class 2-C. You can just call me Niji, so uh... I'll be in your care, senpais."

Out of the three new StuCo members that I just met, the two guys glanced towards one another for a second, before the one with combed-back hair aims a pitying smile in my direction. "Nice to meet you, Prez's boyfriend. I'm Inosuke Ikari, the student council's secretary."

I stare. Judging by the dawning look of horror on his face, I can only assume that Shiromeguri-senpai was glaring behind me. "Inosuke-senpai, I haven't even known Shiromeguri-senpai for a while." I begin, still giving him a blank stare, "Do you really think that she's the type of person to just date someone that she just barely met?"

He opens his mouth to reply, only for the other third-year girl to slap a hand over his mouth and pull him close. Both of them were more or less engaged with whispering to one another, all the while Shiromeguri-senpai snaked around the room with that bright, beaming smile on her face. And while I don't want to assume, I can only see troubles for them in the immediate future.

... Not my problem, really.

"Niji-san, right?" I blink, finding the other third-year in the StuCo office holding out a sheaf of papers towards me. "Name's Mitahara, and I'm Shiromeguri's VP. Sorry about the two lovebirds over there, by the way. Inosuke and Himejima are gonna get straightened out in a moment, but I don't really wanna be in the splash zone when the bloodbath occurs."

"That's not literal, right?" I mutter back in response, taking the sheaf of papers that Mitahara-senpai held out towards me while taking a glance at the other side of the StuCo office, finding Shiromeguri-senpai right in the middle of pinching Inosuke and uh... Himejima-senpai's cheeks with a furious scowl on her face.

"Oh." I hum, nodding in understanding at the sight. "She does that when she's pissed."

Mitahara-senpai gives me a blank stare. "And what did you do to piss her off...?" He trails off, glancing out towards the window and letting out a sound of acknowledgement. "Oh. Yeah, that explains things. The second years' workplace visit is supposed to be today, wasn't it?"

"Yeah." I reply, giving him a smile and a nod. "I picked Soubu High–"

"Oto-sensei already told us everything, Niji-san. You don't need to lie to us about it." Mitahara-senpai smiles, patting my shoulder before nudging his chin at the stack of paperwork down below. "And since you're basically the StuCo's gofer for the day, it's more or less about time that we started finishing up on some work that we left for next meeting."

Ugh... "Where do I start?"

"Auditing." He replies with a sigh, pointing a thumb at the other side of the room. "Usually, Himejima's the one doing it and I just skim over her output, but... One glance at those three, and I have the sinking feeling that they wouldn't be in the mood to do so until a few hours in."

"... You're the only sane person here aren't you, Mitahara-senpai?"

"Don't say that out loud, or Shiromeguri would quarter me." He mutters back. "Now come on, let's get to work."

So. Audits. From what I know of them, they were supposed to be long, time-intensive tasks that more or less drain your capability to keep on functioning for the rest of the day. And in a sense, I think that's true. But I certainly don't think that auditing just consists of double-checking databases from loads of receipts that had just been tacked onto the side. A lot of receipts, for that matter. And this was supposed to be... actually, wait. I should probably get some clarification first before I actually get started.

"Mitahara-senpai, what am I doing, exactly?"

"Auditing the expenses of the clubs for last month." He replies, pulling out a laptop from underneath the table and typing on it for a few seconds before turning it towards me. "Basically, it's just double-checking to see if the expenses of each club match up with the receipts that they gave us. Here's what Himejima had gotten so far, so you can use this as a basis for when you encode the results."

I stare at the stack of papers and receipts, then at the scary-looking database on the laptop. A few seconds pass before I let out a sigh, my shoulders slumping as I begrudgingly went to work. "This is just like checking papers..."

"Really?"

Let's see... the soccer club had to get some extra first-aid supplies and a few balls since most of the older ones apparently gave out... well, the numbers look good so far, so i guess I'll mark it down.

"Yep." I reply to Mitahara-senpai's question, reaching out to mark down the soccer club's expenses on the laptop before moving onto... another slew of receipts from the soccer club. And this one was supposedly a shelf to move their trophies into. Supposedly. I don't know if they even won that many trophies to warrant a shelf to begin with, but the receipts and the soccer club's reports look solid, so I can't really contest that. "When his paperwork piles up, Oto's more than likely to just harangue me into doing some of it."

"Seriously?"

"You deal with it one way or another." I sigh, trawling through more receipts and comparing them to the files on the laptop. "Mostly it's just some quizzes or papers from other classes. Sometimes he asks me for help in writing memos or letters or whatnot. Sometimes he just asks me to double check class standings while he's doing something else."

The little hum on my lips die as the silence ticks on, and I glance up from my current work to see the rest of the student council glancing at me with odd looks. "What?" I ask, leaning back from my work and glancing to the side, scratching my cheek while letting out an awkward bark of laughter. "Is it really that weird?"

Shiromeguri-senpai frowns, propping up her chin with an arm as she stares at me from her desk. "Shinsei-san, at least you're not checking your own class's papers, right?"

"Of course not. At the very least, Oto has the presence of mind to not even do it." I reply with a wave of my hand, letting out a huff before I turn back towards auditing... the drama club's expenses now. Lots of stuff meant for arts and crafts here, probably as props for whatever play they might decide to hold in the future.

"Well, that's a relief, at least." She replies with a sigh. "Still, shouldn't you complain to Oto-sensei about dumping some of his extra workload on you? Maybe that's the reason why you haven't passed the workplace visit form, you know." Shiromeguri-senpai hums, stroking her chin with a thoughtful expression on her face, "How late to do you sleep, Shinsei-san?"

"About eleven to twelve." I reply, noting down some slight errors with some of the art supplies that the drama club had gotten. Just a few minor things like paintbrushes, but hey, Mitahara-senpai told me to note down anything off, so that's what I'm doing. "And like I said, Niji's fine."

"Yeah, we're definitely complaining to Oto-sensei about this. For the meantime, you're more or less welcome to use the StuCo room if you wanna catch a nap. Outside of class hours, of course." Inosuke-senpai pipes in, giving me a thumbs-up and a grin while the rest of the student council gave their own agreements.

I absentmindedly nod along, mumbling my thanks in response to all of them while I continue on working. I freeze a second later, finding Himejima-senpai leaning over my shoulder, and I quickly scoot to the left to make some space.

"Huh, you're doing good so far." She hums, flitting through part of the stack of paperwork and glancing back towards the database on the laptop. "Pretty fast too. Seems like you won't need my help in this, yeah? You look like you've got things handled here, after all."

"No, I need help." I immediately reply. "I'm just finding out that Soubu has a ludicrous amount of clubs, so I really need your help on this or else we probably won't be done even after the end of the day."

"Aren't you just complaining right now?"

"If we finish this early, then the earlier you guys could take a break. Or catch up with your lessons so that you won't fall behind in the next lessons or whatnot. At least, that's what Shiromeguri-senpai told me, but–" Himejima-senpai snorts, patting me on the shoulder with a thankful smile on her face.

"Don't worry about Meguri." She replies, "She's just a bookworm. The rest of us are more than happy that you gave us this opportunity to slack off for a day." With seemingly renewed vigor, Himejima-senpai pulls the laptop closer towards her, fingers dancing over the keys as she grins. "Come on, Niji-kun, let's get this over with. You also want to sleep the rest of the day off, right?"

How else could I respond to that?

"Y-Yes..."

And so we went back to work. A legendary feat, especially when Shiromeguri-senpai glared at us the entire way.

Illustration for Chapter 10:

Chapter 10 said:

"Sure, I can do that." She pipes up, "But that would just implant the idea that we can slack off during later StuCo meetings, and I can't really have that." Shiromeguri-senpai tuns towards me with a grin, one that sent shivers down my spine. "Don't worry, Shinsei-san. We'll have you doing some of the StuCo's work as well. We've got a lot of work piled up..."

My feet stop in the middle of the hallway, a half-smile frozen on my face. Shiromeguri-senpai stops as well, seemingly picking up on my reluctance in the matter, and turns towards me with a beaming smile.

"Getting cold feet?"

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

AN: And an interlude chapter before the next chapters.

---

"Man, that workplace visit was fun!" I start, plopping down my bag at the far side of the entrance before making my way over towards the central table. A change of pace was fun and all, but there was something to be said about having a place where you're comfortable with. And by all accounts, the Tabletop Gaming Club was that place. Most of the time. "How did yours go?"

"This General-Shogun's visit to the far reaches of the Tankonari Publishing Company has been truly enlightening." Zaimokuza-san replies, leaning back on his seat with arms crossed over his chest. He probably thinks that he's cool by doing that, but... then again, that's just how he usually is. "It has only reignited my– nay, that trip has only raised my passion for writing to new heights!"

"That's great!" And speaking of people who went on workplace visits, we have someone who hasn't done the form in the first place. "What about you, Shinsei-san? How did yours go–?"

"Remember that there's a budget request form in one of the main drawers stationed near the front of the office, so you can fill it out and send a club budget proposal to us if you want your club to have some extra funds. Make sure that you get it done by the end of the second week of the month as–"

I tune out his mumbling with far more speed than usual, glancing back towards Zaimokuza-san and raising a brow in his direction. "What happened to him?"

"I... don't know." He murmurs, "Niji never did this before, but by all accounts he's weirding me out." Wait a minute, Zaimokuza-san. You have a threshold for your chuuni-ness? Is that all it takes for you to break character, Zaimokuza-san? Far be it for me to actually encourage you to have a thicker skin when it comes to these matters, but you can just tune Shinsei-san out, right?

... And he's not listening. "Niji. Niji, are you there? It's me, Zaimokuza."

"But that means that the budgetary meeting is around this week, probably around the time when the StuCo meets up again this Saturday. With that deadline, there's no way that I can fit our club's proposal in even if I work my ass off for it. Not to mention that I'm probably going to have to present my reasons as to why we'd like to have a budget to the Student Council in the first place, and even though I've only met them for a day I'm completely sure that they'll reject the proposal right after I'm done because why wouldn't they–?"

He's completely gone catatonic. I don't think there's a way of snapping him out of it, Zaimokuza-san.

So by all accounts, it looks like Niji-san's the type of person to get a few screws loose when he's left alone for an entire day. Then, does that mean that he needs Zaimokuza-san here so that his overall boisterous personality could keep him in check like some sort of personality yin-yang? Honestly, that kind of situation is just...

"Ebina-san", Zaimokuza-san pipes up, "You're having a nosebleed..."

"Don't mind me." I reply in turn, pulling a handkerchief out of my pockets and stuffing it into my nostril, tilting my head forward and shuddering out a breath. "It's just that, after all my years of reading literature, I never really expected that I'd find such a juicy scenario staring right in front of me..."

"Huh?"

"It's really not something to be concerned with." I wave off with a smile, pinching the bridge of my nose before filching one of the papers that was currently in front of Niji-san. With him being catatonic as-is, he doesn't do anything to stop me, which means that I was free to read up on whatever he was so concerned about. "Let's see here... Budget request form, to be reviewed by the Student Council?"

"What?!" Zaimokuza-san exclaims, snatching another sheet of paper from Niji-san's side of the desk. "But this one's a student council president candidacy form!" He began nudging Niji-san, who was now cradling his head in both hands while still muttering their mantras. "Oi, oi, don't tell me that after a year's worth of hardship, you would simply let our friendship fall by the wayside?! That you would abandon the General-Shogun for petty reasons such as joining the student council?!"

I tune Zaimokuza-san out, plugging my ears with my fingers to keep my eardrums from being damaged. While I was busy doing so, the door to the clubroom opens, and I watch Oto-sensei enter the clubroom with a constipated expression on his face. He stops right at the threshold however, sparing one glance at Shinsei-san, Zaimokuza-san, and then finally myself... before he tries to make his escape.

Not good. I don't want to be left out with just these two. Especially if they're acting like this. "Sensei, what's wrong with Shinsei-san?"

Oto-sensei stops, opens his mouth to reply, before shaking his head and grumbling, making his way back inside the clubroom and closing the door behind him.

"You know how Niji forgot to submit his workplace visit form, right?" I nod in response, watching Oto-sensei make his way to an empty chair and make himself right at home. "Well, I thought that it'd be too easy if I just let him sleep in the apartment all day, so I asked some of the teachers if they wanted him to be a teaching assistant for the day. They turned it down due to... well, more than understandable reasons."

I spy a glance at Niji, still muttering away to himself, and I can't help but agree with Oto-sensei. "Then why's he like this?"

"Well, I asked the student council for a favor to get him to help out with their duties on the day of the workplace visit. I waived their classes during it for extra incentive, but Shiromeguri still didn't seem too pleased with me dumping some work on her lap." Who wouldn't be, sensei? "And well, I don't know what the StuCo put him through, but..."

He waves a vague hand in Shinsei-san's direction. It was a more adequate explanation than what I initially imagined.

"Actually now that I thought about it do I still have my notes for today's club meeting? We're supposed to continue with the campaign, so that means that it's still going to be in that cistern with the second magelord. Since one of the apparitions had already been killed, that means that the boss was chunked down to around three-quarters of its HP–"

"I'VE HAD ENOUGH!" I wince, more than lucky that I still kept my fingers plugged into my ears as Zaimokuza-san slams his hands on the table and roars. "It seems that my loyal retainer has been blue-screened due to his experiences with that reprehensible student council! As such, it falls onto me to make up for my retainer's latest difficulties..."

"... And so I suggest we move to a different location for today!" He grins, turning towards me with a puppy-like expression on his face, "What say you, Ebina-san?!"

Putting aside the issue of wondering whether or not I should kick chuunibyou puppies, I just got here. "Wasn't the workplace visit just a few days ago...?"

"Would you rather leave Niji to die?"

"He doesn't look like he's dying anytime soon..." I take another glance at Niji, and let out a soft sigh, propping up my chin on a hand before mulling out a hum. "Alright, I take it back. Maybe it's a good thing that we go somewhere else for the afternoon. Where do you suggest?"

"Well, a friend of mine suggested the place." Zaimokuza-san replies, stuffing his phone back into his pockets with a shifty glance away from me, "... But! This General-Shogun thinks that if there's anything that could snap Niji out of his current state, then we have to go somewhere that more or less likely to annoy him so much that his sheer exasperation overpowers his current state."

I spare Zaimokuza-san a blank stare. "And that place is...?"

"A secret, of course!"

"... Then I'll stay here along with Oto-sensei if you're being so obstinate about it." All things considered, Shinsei-san's little breakdown was more or less confined to his corner of the clubroom, so he wasn't really hurting anyone. With Oto-sensei having already dozed off just a few moments after he entered, if I just let Zaimokuza-san have his fun somewhere else, then it would be pretty quiet in the clubroom, all things considered.

But, for the sake of my material...! "Zaimokuza-san, I promise I won't get mad at you for it."

"... Fine." He replies, his shoulders going slump before letting out a sordid sigh. "Don't tell Niji before we get there, alright?"

I jab my thumb towards the direction where Shinsei-san was currently moping in his chair. "Does it look like he's going to be listening in any time soon?"

"You make a good point." He grumbles, taking a deep breath before cupping his mouth a few seconds later and speaking up in a mock-whisper. "... Very well, Ebina-san. So what I'm thinking is that we'll take Niji to a–"




"–a maid cafe." Shinsei-san finally – finally – croaks, staring up at the stairs leading deeper into the building as if it might kill him. I snicker behind my own phone, taking a few pictures at his expense, all the while Zaimokuza-san posed in front of him with a smug expression. An outsider might see it as a chuunibyou trying and failing their best to act cool, but...

Only I know the truth. That this was an elaborate mating dance for Zaimokuza-san to catch Shinsei-san's attention. It was the main reason why I came here in the first place, even though maid cafes weren't really my thing. The opportunity to gather some material that might prove useful in the future was just too tempting to pass up, even if I have to bear the shame of visiting one of these places...

"Ebina-san, your nose is bleeding again."

"Ah. Thank you for the heads up, Shinsei-san." I blink, quickly pulling out my handkerchief and sticking it into my nose, all the while my phone continued on snipping away. Part of the magic was gone now that Shinsei-san wasn't focusing in Zaimokuza-san's general direction, but given that the latter was still trying to pose away... I won't let Zaimokuza-san's sacrifice be in vain. Honest.

"I'll be fine." I calmly reply, stuffing my phone back into my pockets while pinching the bridge of my nose. My eyes widen a second later however, as Zaimokuza-san apparently receives a call and begins walking away. "Hey Shinsei-san", I pipe up, pointing at our wayward club member, watching him wander off to the curb, "Where's he going?"

"That idiot... Wasn't he the one that called us here in the first place?" He grumbles, but nonetheless ambles after Zaimokuza-san with not a single iota of enthusiasm. Not that I can particularly blame him – dealing with Zaimokuza-san looks and sounds like a chore, if I were to be frank. More or less taking care of a particularly problematic child, now that I think about it. And yet, Shinsei-san still does it because despite it all, he cares too much for his friend. Or maybe he's too shy to admit that he wants to be more than a friend...

... No good, the material just writes itself. People would stare at me weirdly if my nosebleed gets worse.

"Shinsei-san, you can probably just call Zaimokuza-san–" I pause as I turn around the corner, finding the both of them in a half-bow towards... well, some people that I don't recognize. While I don't know what Zaimokuza-san did to prompt such a reaction, perhaps it might be best for me to pretend not to know the pair for a while– Wait. Actually, I know one of the people that Shinsei and Zaimokuza-san are apparently apologizing to. That's Yukinoshita-san, and-- "Ah, Yui-Yui!"

"Mm?" Yui perks up, before her head swivels in my direction and gives me a wave. "Oh, Hina! What are you doing here?" She blinks. "... And what's with the nosebleed?"

"... Club activities." It wasn't even a lie. In fact, I'm pretty sure I already brought it up to the others before I joined the Tabletop Gaming Club. "My club president wasn't really feeling well, so our other member decided that we should pack up and go somewhere else for the day." I stare at the stairway leading up to the maid cafe with a blank smile. "... Though, Zaimokuza-san didn't really say anything about it being a maid cafe, of all places..."

"Uh, that's my bad." I hum, watching a guy with the eyes of a dead fish that raises his hand. I take a step behind Yui, just in case. "I thought that it would be best to have Zaimokuza show us around this particular establishment since he's already been to this place, but I didn't really think that he'd be ditching your club activities for it."

"No, no, it's fine." I reply, waving him off with a smile, "I agreed to it."

"Eh, you did?!"

I quickly wrap an arm around Yui's shoulders, pulling her close before dragging her away from the rest of her compatriots. And the storm that's apparently brewing in our absence. "Look", I mutter, turning Yui's head to stare straight at the eye of the storm. "This is a very important matter, so I'll ask you this once. What do you think's going on in there?"

"Uh..." She crosses her eyes, raising a hand before pointing it to each person that looks like they were just one step away from duking it out on the street. "Yukinon and Shinsei-san are arguing, Hikki's trying to play mediator, and Chuuni-san just looks like he's hiding behind Shinsei-san to try and weather out the argument."

My eyes glance towards Yui, the poor thing. Doesn't she realize that-- Hm? Wait a second. "Just to be clear, you mean that scary-looking guy's name is 'Hikki'? What kind of name is that?"

"It's a normal name!" She shrieks, and I can't help but lean away from her for a moment, cleaning my ears while she turns towards me with a pout, "... Besides, why are you even so hung up on letting me describe what's going on? I need to get back there and stop whatever argument they're having before they cause a scene!"

"Are you sure?" I ask, turning back towards the display with a cold detachment in my eyes. "If you go inside that storm, you'll die, you know?"

"So cold...!"

"Anyway, you're wrong. That's not an argument brewing right in front of us." I push up my glasses, letting out a wide grin at the sight in front of me. "Look at how Yukinoshita and Shinsei-san are arguing right now. No doubt that she insulted Zaimokuza-san's honor, personality, intelligence, and overall bearing, only for Shinsei-san to stand up for him without even asking for anything in exchange. Do you know why?"

"Somehow I think I should be offended in Chuuni-san's behalf!"

Yui tries to wrench herself off me, but I nonetheless keep her in a tight grip, grinning at the sight before me. "Yes! It could be none other than love! The love pouring between those two is so thick and pure that it's somewhat sickening, if I'm honest! At first, it was Zaimokuza-san's suggestion for us to go here since he was the first to notice that Shinsei-san has been out of it for the entire afternoon. And while Shinsei-san doesn't want to show it so openly, you can see how he cares in the way that he immediately jumps into Zaimokuza-san's defense despite knowing that he'll be brawling with Yukinoshita-san, and–"

"Hina! Your nosebleed's getting worse!"

Ah, Yui's right. Perhaps I might have overdosed too much on material this time around...

"Hina?! Hey, stay with us!"

"Yui", I pipe up, cradling my friend's cheek with a content smile on my face. "Don't worry about me. I'm content with my lot in life right now."

"Hina!"

Unlimited material whenever I want... Truly, a most dangerous thing to have.