Five Things You Must Do to Be a Strong Female Leader in 2020
Being a strong female leader is essential in the 2020 work environment, and here’s how you can become one…
Adults like to tell us the importance of our dress code at school, and of making sure us girls look professional so as not to draw attention from the boys. But no one ever tells you the rules of a good headshot.
- Stand up straight
- Smile wide
- Own your worth and look directly into the camera knowing that you are a boss lady and you deserve to be taken seriously
Now that picture above is the first headshot I ever took, and that was taken last September, before I knew what it meant to be a boss lady.
I already knew the importance of confidence and of standing up for myself in a world that doesn’t always treat women with the respect it should, but the idea of being a boss lady was completely lost on me.
Since September, I have made it my goal to understand what it means to be a boss lady, and become one at all costs.
What is a boss lady?
A boss lady is a female who truly embodies boss mentality, and boss mentality is about knowing who you are and accepting it regardless of a society with different ideals. It means finding power in the facets that make you unique and understanding your worth authentically and authoritatively.
Boss mentality != arrogance
Being a boss lady is about harnessing the power that comes with being a women, and using it to thrive in any environment. You know who you are, you know what you’re made of, and you know what you are capable of and what your limits are.
In short: you know your worth and you don’t take crap from anybody.
1. Build a network of strong female women
Over the past month or so, I have been working with a group of young women from TKS in developing a global bossladies initiative.
Ideally, this will look like…
- girls connecting internationally on things they struggle with and things they are passionate about
- an open space for discussion and questions on pioneering careers in as female STEM leaders
- a place where we can mentor others on confidence, self love, mental health, relationships, and more
- a community of women not just dreaming about their futures, but building them together
A network of strong female women is vital to your growth as a boss lady because it allows for the opportunity to teach others about what you have learned about boss mentality, AND develop relationships with women who have been doing this longer than you.
These women can be business associates, friends, colleagues, anyone interested in supporting your journey into becoming a boss lady.
Networking with other boss ladies is important because of the short and long term benefits. Develop friendships and professional relationships with other women working towards similar goals and cultivating similar ambition can result in some of the most meaningful relationships. Not to mention, you always have those women to back you up and help level each other up when an obstacle arises.
Long term, those women could even become your co-founders, collaborators, sisters; you never know the opportunities that will come from an extensive network of people who both care about each other AND also want to change the world. For me, it is one of the most empowering things in my life.
Making your first boss lady squad
Not everyone has TKS like I do where a boss lady squad is literally built into the program. To develop your own squad of strong ladies looking to make something of themselves, reach out to a couple of friends you know who are interested in business, STEM, or whatever industry you work in. Then, pull in some mentors by cold messaging people on LinkedIn. Experienced professionals working to show everyone what a strong woman can do in a work environment love to pass that on to other girls who are rising up the ranks of their own companies or communities.
Establish weekly syncs to talk about important concepts like self-acceptance, confidence, assertion, and boss mentality. Make plans, and mentor others. You can set the KPIs for your community and go from there.
Never be afraid to add more members to your squad or community. Your sisters have your back and growing the squad can only provide you with a greater number of relationships or opportunities.
2. Develop antifragility
Antifragility is the most important mindset that has helped me to become a strong leader, because antifragility is key in one’s growth, to go from someone who is held back by setbacks, to someone who actually benefits from them.
Antifragility is the most underrated superpower; being antifragile means not only do you bounce back quickly from chaos and dissapointment, you thrive from failure.
I developed this skill the hard way when I was preparing to speak on the Fantastic Futures panel at South by South West this March. After practicing and honing my content for months, I got the call that the conference was going to be canceled due to COVID-19.
Part of me definitely wanted to curl up into a ball and cry, but at the end of the day, self-pity just perpetuates the idea that you failed and can’t do anything about it. If you are in power over your own life, you always have a choice about how to react and what you do next.
I ended up filming my presentation anyways and perfecting it further, ending up with a dope video that has gotten me more opportunities than I could ever dream of. When you work hard and something doesn’t go your way, you can have the same input and same results, just by working towards a different output. You can watch it here.
Before joining TKS and hearing from all of the amazing female leaders, I let my anxiety hold me back from doing so much. I was afraid of not being good enough or of making a mistake.
Competition and comparing yourself to others not only kills productivity, it kills any chance of good relationships with other women.
That’s not to say women shouldn’t push each other to do their best, but gossip, pettiness, and being downright catty never scored anyone the job offer or sealed the deal on a new friendship.
I believe in authenticity and honesty as core parts of any team, company, or community culture. With the other girls in TKS, we tell it like it is. Develop thick skin for the right reasons, and you’ll up your resilience game 10x.
3. Own your identity
The best way to own who you are is to first understand who you are. I believe in constantly asking questions about who I am and who I want to be in the future. Projecting the version of yourself you wish to be, turns you into that person. It’s self actualization at its finest.
For example: “Hi, I’m Faith Inello, and I’m a high school student who likes to learn about different science stuff.”
That was weak as hell.
Now try, “Hi, I’m Faith Inello, I’m 16 years old, and I’m using BCI’s and metabolomic data to cure mental illness.”
Boom. Now that’s an intro that would get me interested in what someone is working on.
Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. Confidence is key, and if you say it with a smile, a self-assured tone, and solid eye contact, you’re 90% of the way there.
Now that many networking events and business meetings are taking place from home, a firm handshake and a decent business card don’t go as far as they used to. The verbal intro is everything, and if you can’t sell yourself to yourself, because you don’t even know who you are, you definitely won’t be convincing anyone else of your power as a boss lady.
Discovering Who You Are
There are so many ways to figure out your personality, strengths, weaknesses, and the drivers behind your motivation.
To understand these, I’ve gotten really into two things: personality tests, projects, and meditation.
Knowing my Myers-Briggs type and my enneagram type has actually played a big role into understanding who I am and what makes me tick. These kinds of tests can offer insight into why you might be quick to act out, or afraid to speak up. Having a better insight of your personality type can help you master your emotions.
You also have to understand what you like and don’t like to narrow down your passions. This year I studied over 27 different topics in biology and engineering to figure out where my favorites lied and what I was the most interested in. If you don’t care about what you’re doing, your setting yourself up for failure. After looking at everything from nanotech to bacteriophages, I settled on delving deep into metabolomics and brain computer interfaces.
Your passions frame your interests which are an integral part of your personality. Learn them now to get an unfair advantage on everyone who is still “finding themselves” and figuring out who they are to decide what career they want.
Finally, meditation is integral to understanding who you are. If you are never alone with your thoughts, how do you know which voice is yours and which voices are your parents, your friends, your colleagues trying to tell you something about yourself. Only you can truly know who you are, and you can also choose who you want to be. The realizations about yourself from meditation are infinite and continual: every time I quiet my mind I learn something new about my identity.
Your identity is a composite of my experiences, my genetics, and my continually evolving mental framework. Understanding who you are is the first step to developing who you want to be: a confident boss lady.
4. Maximize passion-driven work
Passion motivates much of what we do. If I’m not passionate about something, why should I invest time and effort into it? The more I maximize passion-driven work, the more I want to GSD. If you aren’t engaged in what you are doing anymore, its not worth working on because you’ve hit a dead end in what you think you can do in that arena.
I know what I’m good at and what I’m not. Consistency is a struggle for me but hustling comes naturally; how can I play to my strengths by emphasizing what I’m good at and focusing on working on the skills I’m lacking. At the same time, how can I surround myself with people who will fill in the gaps where I am weaker and how can I complement their skillsets?
This is where a network of female leaders come in; when you surround yourself with ambitious people, you can delegate the work to whoever will do each part best. This is important in any business environment, especially now when many women are working remotely
As a part of the global bossladies initiative, I actually focus on opening and closing activities for our sessions, as well as playbooks. I chose to focus on these things because I’m great at reading a room and getting the hype up, I can encourage thoughtful introspection at the end of a discussion, and I give great advice. I’m not always as good at focusing on a single thing at a time or meeting specific deadlines. I have other women supporting me to pick up the slack where I fall short, so that we can all focus on what we do best.
5. Invest in positive feedback loops
I love a good feedback culture, but I want a feedback culture where we emphasize consistent positive feedback loops where we hold ourselves and others accountable in a way that facilitates consistent growth over time.
One thing I hear from many young women working in a male dominated environment is that they are afraid to speak up and ask for help or guidance for fear of being judged.
First off, if you prioritize working in a female-driven company, this is no longer a problem ;)
Ok, I’ll be honest, most of us aren’t working in female-run businesses where the women far outnumber the male employees. Yet.
Through TKS, I’ve learned how to use positive feedback loops to empower other young women and help them grow during the program. We proofread each other’s article and give feedback on each other’s videos, because it’s common courtesy. Who would want to be in a community where people didn’t value each other’s growth?
If you are the smartest person, let alone woman, in the room, pick a new room. You’re not going to learn anything new there, so there is no point in staying.
What Now?
Female leaders need to invest in themselves before they can truly step it up and make a difference in the lives of other up and coming girls in any industry or community. Not only will this inspire more girls to seek out possible careers and titles that were previously only held by men; it will convey to people of all ages that women know their worth and their willing to show people what they are truly made of.
I dream of a future where girls understand that they can be strong and intelligent and just as resourceful as every man, and that their own inherent strengths are just as powerful. Every girl should be able to walk in a room and command the audience inside because her words matter, her voice matters, and she has the power to change the world some day.
I’ve known what it means to be a boss lady since last September, but I’ve been working to ensure this vision my whole life.
Make sure to leave a clap on this article and email me at faithinello@gmail.com to ask questions about the five things you need to do to be a boss lady in 2020. If you enjoyed this article, I’d love to talk to you more about how you can work towards these five actions, and even provide feedback on your own boss lady intro.
