The Goombalini family says Trump is toast
The New York Sunshine Observer has just reported that the Salvatore Goombalini crime family has let it be known that the minute that the pussy grabbing Trump sets foot in prison he will be toast. Sunshine Observer reporter Carmine Calatino, who kn…
Read full storyAnti-Trump billboards spring up all over America
In the "No Fucking Kidding Department," anti-Trump billboards are popping up all over every state in the union. The QuinniPinni Polling Agency reports that Trump has become more hated than bastards such as Hitler, Hirohito, and Charles Manson.
Read full storyTrump's Hollywood Walk of Fame star gets vandalized for the 13th time in just the last 4 months
Innuendo reporter Sausalito Ole reports that the hooha grabber's Walk of Fame star has been vandalized again. Lucy Crowsteen, a spokesperson for the sidewalk group noted that since old "Baby Fingers" is so damn hated that they are not going to hav…
Read full storyBritney Spears' "just say no to drugs" program is a big success in 49 states
The US DEA has just stated that Britney Spears' "Just Say Hell No To Drugs" program is a tremendous hit in 49 of the states. A spokesman for the DEA, Lionel Boocastle, divulged that the only state where the drug program did not work was in Alabama…
Read full storyPresident Biden invites Taylor Swift and Anson Mount to the White House for an old-fashioned Texas barbecue
The Vox Populi News Agency has just broken the story that President Joe Biden has just issued an invitation for America's "Happiest Couple," Taylor Swift and Anson Mount to attend a good old-fashioned Texas barbecue dinner at the White House. POTU…
Read full storyThe Mafia tells Trump if he has any sense he'll leave the US as effen soon as possible
There are two things one does not mess with, a rattlesnake and the Mafia, and both can bite you before you even know you've been bit. Mafioso boss Salvatore Goombalini recently got word to Trump that if he has any lick of sense left in his vacuous…
Read full storyAnti-Trump campaign ads appear all over Iowa TV
Mystery has hit the national TV airwaves in Iowa. It seems that some unknown billionaire has spent millions of dollars paying for thousands of anti-Trump TV ads. A reporter with the Veni Vidi Vici News Agency stated that she tried to find out who…
Read full storySouvenir bowel movements for all the top enemies of America
The laundry staff at Mar-A-Lago have added their voices to Trump’s ongoing indictment by adding their voices to those of Jack Smith. This reporter was able to get one staff member on tape to record what the world now knows about the greatest spy in A…
Read full storyA Kentucky rabbi is arrested after DEA agents find 38 gallons of moonshine in his truck
A rabbi in Kentucky has been arrested by agents with the DEA. A spokesperson for the DEA stated that Rabbi Myron Myronowitz III, 43, was caught in a back holler outside of the town of Woodchuck Hormones, Kentucky. Rabbi Myron's 2020 Toyota Reno Ro…
Read full storyThe Los Angeles Police Department hires one of L.A.'s most infamous prostitutes
Los Angeles Channel 107 has just informed the public that the L.A. Police Department has just put one of the most well-known working girls in L.A. county on their payroll. The woman identified as Breena Vineyard, 29, is noted for not only being st…
Read full storyKimberly Guilfoyle and Donald Trump Jr., say that they do not do drugs...never, ever, never
Donald Trump's former 'side piece,' and his little boy, Donald Trump Jr., say that they're sick and tired, tired and sick of having to always comment that no, they do not do drugs. To be fair, Nancy Reagan found it hard to 'Just Say No', she was f…
Read full storyTrump has just picked Ted Cruz to be his vice-presidential running mate
Well ladies and gentleman, it is now official, Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump, who many are calling the "Teflon Racist" has just informed the news media that he has chosen Guatemala native Sen. Ted Cruz to be his official 2024 presidential election ru…
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Two members of the Proud Boys planned to steal Gov. Greg "Eggplant Face" Abbott's wheelchair
The FBI has uncovered a plot by two low-level members of the highly extremist group, The Proud Boys, who were going to steal Gov. "Shitface" Abbott's million dollar wheelchair and throw it in the Gulf of Mexico. Federal agents Clive P. Trailwood a…
Read full storySupreme Court made U.S. women breeding property of the state
Like a pig farm owned by farmer Jones, whose pigs are fed and bred under Mr. Jones's supervision, US women's bodies have become the breeding property of the State. Women no longer have the right or freedom to choose. The Supreme Court passed laws to…
Read full storyEric "Gofey" Trump said his dad has admitted that he will end up in hell
Well, low and behold, Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump had finally admitted that his ass will burn in hell in the not-to-distant future. Old Orange Leatherface told his stupid ass son, Eric "Gofey" Trump that he is getting psyched up for his one-way…
Read full storyMiddle schoolers bind and whip principal following classroom visit by dominatrix
Leona Abernathy, principal of Belfry Middle School in Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, was determined to allow her students the opportunity to experience Nature without boundaries. Most of the students were farm kids, and had observed farm animals doing t…
Read full storyAn Al-Qaeda terrorist captured as he sits in Yankee Stadium eating a hot dog
One of the most notorious Al-Qaeda operatives Shateen Koot Shoom has been taken into custody by members of the DEA. The infamous terrorist known as "Crazy Shateen," was sitting in a box seat at Yankee stadium watching the Yanks playing against the…
Read full storyJoe finally admits talking "business" with Hunter
Relentlessly pressed by FAUX NEWS reporter, Helga Hardass, about whether the president had ever discussed business with his wayward son, Hunter, the President snapped back: “Yes, I asked him how much he paid for those two hookers he was shown bang…
Read full storySupreme Court bans Cialis in a 7-2 decision
The Supreme Court, in a 7-2 decision, has banned the drug Cialis which, as one of the justices in the majority wrote, “Basically makes horny old men into incessant boneheads.” “Women,” noted Supreme Court Justice Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (one of…
Read full storyLatest Spoof US Headlines
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Donald "The Perv" Trump finally admits that YES! he has the 'hots' for Kimberly Guilfoyle
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GOP diehards say that Trump has turned into gorilla shit
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Stormy Daniels says that Trump is one really messed up son-of-a-bitch
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It is so damn hot in Texas that a woman baked a loaf of bread in her mail box
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The NRA member numbers continue to drop like rain from the sky
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Charles Barkley says he drinks a case of Bud Light every day and adds F*ck da haters!
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Fights at Popeyes without a single can of spinach in sight
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Larry Nasal gets into scuffle at Florida prison
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The FBI has a video of Trump stealing White House silverware
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The US Proctologists Guild names Ted Cruz "asshole of the year"
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When two laws go to war … Kari and Mel get a popular voice again
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More states want to arrest Trump so they’re making up crimes for him to commit
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The first annual January 6th carnival
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Joe finally admits talking "business" with Hunter
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Clarry Thomas, trans lesbian and powdered wig, may have to write laws against herself
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Three of Trump's cousins say that the evil bonehead needs to go to prison
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“I Hump for Jesus” … not if you wanna keep your job, Amy
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Avocado Wedding Cakes have become quite the rage
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Eric Serman is not giving up his fight against Tigers Wood
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America's top female spy, Lady Chatterley, is a mistress of disguises