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Return of the Thieves

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8/1 – TUESDAY – MORNING

“Hey.”

Clay glances over, toothbrush still in his mouth, lips covered in toothpaste foam. Nick sidles into the bathroom, grabbing blindly at his tumbler and toothbrush, almost sweeping Eret’s comb off the ledge.

“Watch it,” Clay says, but the words come out muffled and incomprehensible.

The RV wakes up for the day. Eret and Blade are already making breakfast, wonderful smell of pancakes wafting around the camper. Floris is curled up on Zak’s lap, the latter leaned against the cushy backrest of the couch. The rest of the team is nowhere to be seen—perhaps outside taking a walk or still fast asleep.

After breakfast and their first morning in an unfamiliar location, they get to work. Refreshed and ready to start the day. Although…

Tubbo yawns. Darryl looks like he’s about to doze off and hit the ground. Less so in their cases, then.

It does not take long to find out where the book signing event took place—outside Garigoe’s most popular bookstore: A Cappella Books. A table is set up in front of the shop’s display window, a long line of people lining up to get their autographs. Clay spies the man himself sitting at the table, greeting fans with smiles and casual talk.

“That’s our guy,” Floris says. “The author.”

The group stands at the side, watching the exchange between author and fan. The situation is scarily similar to what happened back at Fariold. Countless fans gushing and swooning, buying ridiculous amounts of merchandise, or in this case, the author’s books.

“You know, I heard that Tolkien wrote the novel for a bedridden girl.”

“Yeah, he wanted her to continue fighting, right? That story’s enough to make me cry…”

Clay watches as a couple strolls past, no more interested in the book signing or the author himself as they were. He turns his attention back to the table. The book signing lasts for about another twenty minutes before the crowd disperses and Tolkien leaves.

“I’m thoroughly inclined to believe that he’s our man,” Eret says.

“Same here,” Darryl agrees.

“Yeah. His book sucks.”

Clay glances over at Zak, holding up a copy of the novel. Its cover features a horned vampire of sorts, a wine glass between his fingers. The novel’s title is splashed across in stylized font: Prince of Nightmares.

Not something that Clay would pick up at the store, that’s for sure.

Wait a minute…

“When the heck did you get that?” Blade jabs a finger at the book.

“Oh. It was boring, and I wanted to see whether this guy’s book actually deserved the praise.” Zak chucks the book at Darryl, who fumbles with it. “As an artist, I can tell you that this book has…uh…no soul.”

“What’s that mean?” Tubbo asks.

“No matter how bad or crude someone’s work is, you’d be able to find a sliver of their self within. Like, the way they try to connect with their audience. I should be able to feel something when reading this, but I don’t. And that’s a big problem.”

Darryl flips the book open. The Thieves gather around him, peering over his shoulder. Clay lifts his phone so that Ranboo can see as well, and Floris sits on Nick’s shoulder. Clay’s eyes flit from line to line, cursing internally at the sheer number of huge blocks of text.

Clay isn’t the best writer, and the book is readable, but it is as Zak said. This book is just that. A collection of sentences. Filled with cliché tropes and atrocious wording and…

It’s almost like it’s written by an elementary school child.

“There’s no way something like this got the fucking Book Award,” Eret says, shaking his head. “The judges would have to be blind!”

“Or, they could have had their Desires stolen,” Clay points out.

That’s a distinct possibility. In which case, they would need to enter his Jail and check it out for themselves. With the team’s unanimous agreement, they head out to the main street of Garigoe. Most of the stalls—carnival games and food stalls—for the summer festival has been set up, though they are unmanned.

This place would be bustling when the festival’s in full swing.

“Alright.” Clay unlocks his phone. Ranboo is already waiting at EMMA’s home screen, Tolkien’s name and his Keyword typed in. “Let’s go.”

As soon as Clay presses Enter, the world shifts around them. The darkness of the void swallowing them whole and spitting them into the realm of Shadows.

Dream looks up at the overcast sky, tinted an eerie olive. They stand on an overhead crossing, the wide road teeming with Shadows on either end. Below, Shadows roam as well, carrying flashlights that cast illuminating beams every which way. Getting past the guards is going to be tough.

In the very middle of the mass of buildings is a ginormous castle, turrets stretching to the skies. A golden statue stands in front, reminding Dream somewhat of a similar sculpture in Marion’s Palace…

Lightning streaks behind the castle, and strange cackles explode from within. Screeching bats scatter into the air. What kind of weird fantasy world did they walk into? Then again, this place should reflect the mind of that author—William Tolkien.

“Can you sense anything, Ranboo? Desires, or…?” TapL trails off, gazing over at their navigator.

“It’s…there.” Ranboo does not even have to sniff at the air. He points to a structure in the distance, one that looks way too familiar. A sturdy birdcage rests upon the roof of the castle, a huge diamond sparkling in the flash of lightning bolts.

“That saved us the trouble of looking for it,” Techno says, light sabre resting on his shoulders.

And yet, the three towers surrounding the castle, each encapsulating a sinister glow, tells them that perhaps, the Desires aren’t so easily accessible after all. Still, they should scout around for a bit. See what they can find out about this new Jail.

*

The Shadows are tougher than those from the last Jail, but not something the team cannot handle. With each bullet, each slice, Shadows burst into dust, scattering along the empty streets of Garigoe Jail. Dream carries on, striding down the main street towards their obvious destination.

They soon come to a large, rounded plaza, a fountain spewing water in its middle. The castle lies ahead, surrounded by a moat, a lowered drawbridge taking them right to its front doors. Just like in Alice’s Jail, their advance is impeded by shuttered gates and Shadow guards.

“Well, we’re not getting in that way,” Fundy says, paws folded.

Dream agrees. Walking right up to the castle will just cause a scene, and he does not feel like beating back a thousand Shadows if he doesn’t have to. Is there a back entrance that they can break into?

“Ranboo, can you sense anything?” Tubbo asks.

“I can feel that there’s something over that way. Maybe we could go check it out.”

Not like anyone has a better idea to offer. Dream leads the team, edging around the perimeter of the moat at Ranboo’s directions. The water bubbles beneath them, looking almost like sewage. The pungent stench is atrocious, forcing Dream to pinch his nose.

Thank goodness they do not encounter any Shadows along the way.

“There it is!” Skeppy calls.

A small door sits innocuously in a niche in the wall. It lies across a single drawbridge, narrow compared to the big one leading from the main street. Dream crosses the bridge, boots clacking against the wooden planks, till he reaches the other end. The team gingerly follows.

Dream tugs on the door’s handle. It hardly budges. He rams his shoulder into it. That’s a no-go either.

Sapnap folds his arms. “Great. It’s locked. Just what we needed.”

“Do these three holes mean anything?” Eret taps a knuckle against three rounded indents in the door.

It was a literal walk in the park up till now. Gathering the treasures that are to fit into these indents must be the real challenge.

“So, what’s the plan?” Tubbo asks. “What’s even supposed to go in there?”

Dream shrugs. “Who knows? We’ll find out when we get them.”

“From where?” Skeppy fiddles with the hilt of his katana. “How’re we supposed to find them when we don’t know what they are?”

“Well, I see three towers,” Techno points out. “I think we have our answer to that question.”

“Are we splitting up, in that case? Or are we going all together?” Eret asks. “Fundy and I have limited navigation abilities, and Ranboo can’t be at three locations at once.”

“So, if any of the groups bumps into a strong foe, we might not be able to lend support in time,” Bad says.

“But going together would probably draw too much attention,” Dream says. “I think we should split up for now.”

The teams are assigned. Dream, Ranboo and Techno would be one team. Eret, Sapnap and TapL would go together, and Fundy, Tubbo, Bad and Skeppy will be the last team. If any of them run into trouble, the navigators are to inform the others as quickly as possible.

Together, they head out to the different towers, where each holds a key to the door.

*

8/1 – TUESDAY – NOON

The structure looms over them, much like the Tower of Sauron. It is surrounded by a barred fence, and from what little Dream can see through the gaps, it does look rather…empty.

Dream takes a deep breath and steals himself. The last time they walked right into an empty field…

“You know, this looks like the perfect place for a boss fight,” Techno says, gesturing at the pedestals scattered in the area.

“A boss fight?” Ranboo tilts his head in question.

“Like, a big enemy,” Dream explains and jabs a thumb behind him. “Not like those cronies we fought.”

Ranboo nods in understanding. Dream turns back to the tower and squares his shoulders. Well, nothing like a powerful Shadow to warm up these muscles. He whips his dagger out and ventures cautiously into the field with Techno and Ranboo at his side.

Immediately upon entering the grounds, the gates slam shut behind them, locking with a pronounced click. Not like Dream expected anything less. In front of him rises a Shadow, human in form, black flames curling around his limbs. Dream drops into a battle stance.

“It is I!” the man bellows. “Doma of the Fearsome Four, servant of the Prince of Nightmares.”

Dream blinks. Fearsome Four? Prince of Nightmares? Is this guy for real?

“The way he talks is…strange,” Ranboo observes.

“Silence!” Doma cries. “How dare you mock my speech. I am the guardian of this Keep, and I will defend it till my dying breath!”

Techno laughs. “I really can’t take this guy seriously.”

“You must defeat me in combat if you wish to take what lies at the top!”

Not like Dream doesn’t know that already.

“Come, chosen heroes! For the honour of my lord, I will stop you where you stand!”

“This is going to be a cakewalk.” Techno draws his sabre as the Shadow begins to transform. Dream hops back, the searing black flames engulfing the man whole. The Shadow that emerges is none other than Pyro Jack, the pumpkin-headed Shadow waving a burning lantern in their faces.

Tinier, weaker Shadows flow through the cracks in the cobblestone, clustering around Pyro Jack and awaiting its orders.

“Go, my fellow warriors! For the sake of our lord!”

The attacks come fast and furious. Dream ducks as a fireball flies over his head, crashing into the ground behind him. He weaves through the Shadows, slashing wildly with his dagger and the Shadows fall around him.

He catches up to Pyro Jack, sliding under it and snapping his pistol from its holster. With a wave of his hand, Dream summons Arsene, charging his pistol up with the power of darkness and aiming it at the back of Pyro Jack’s head.

He lets loose the bullet just as Pyro Jack turns around. With an arrogant “Hee-ho!”, Pyro Jack draws up a shield of flames, repelling the bullet and sending it smashing into the tower. Rubble falls from on high, showering Dream and the Shadows with dust.

“Dream, get down!”

At Techno’s commanding shout, Dream drops to a squat. A jet of light nicks his hair, and the Shadow it pierced washes over Dream in another shroud of ash. However, the light beam also drills a hole through the glass of Pyro Jack’s lantern. Flames erupt from it, enveloping the area in a heatwave.

“Dream!” Ranboo calls. “It’s weak to Bufu and Garu! Don’t use Agi attacks!”

Bufu and Garu, got it. If only Skeppy or Fundy were here now… Well, they just have to work with what they have.

“Ranboo, deal with the Shadows. Techno, I need to be up close and personal with that!”

Techno summons Johanna, revs her engine and swerves, taking out the crowd of Shadows itching to take a chunk out of them. Dream wastes no time in hopping on, hands on Techno’s shoulders as Johanna takes off, shearing Shadows as they go.

Dream leaps to his feet, the magic of the Metaverse ensuring his balance. He readies his gun.

“Get ready to jump, Dream!”

Dream’s eyes widen. Wait, why does Techno have a different plan than…

“Go!”

Before Dream can react, Johanna slams to a halt, back wheel launching Dream into the air. Dream screeches as he is flung, stabbing the button of the gadget on his wrist. His grappling hook shoots out, curling around Pyro Jack’s lantern. The wire pulls taut and he’s whipped towards the Shadow.

“W-What are you doing, hee-ho!” Pyro Jack cries, shaking its lantern wildly, fireballs splattering everywhere. Dream hisses as a fiery projectile grazes his sleeve. “Let go!”

Absolutely-fucking-not. With another press of the button, the wire shortens, taking Dream even closer to the Shadow. He lunges at the struggling creature, whisking his dagger out and raising it high above his head. He summons High Pixie, infusing the blade with the strength of howling winds.

“You’re done!” Dream plunges the dagger into the back of Pyro Jack’s head. Scorching pieces of ash burst from the wound. Pyro Jack’s terrified screech is unholy, abruptly interrupted by the sheer force of the raging gales.

With the loss of their leader, the smaller Shadows scatter. Pyro Jack turns to dust, and Dream drops to the ground, landing lightly with a tap of his feet.

“Well, that’s that,” Dream says, shoving his dagger back into its sheath. “Shall we go?”

Techno is already stalking off towards the staircase that winds around the length of the tower. Ranboo seems oddly impressed at their improvised plan, padding after Dream like a curious puppy.

They reach the top of the tower in no time at all. Dream spots the source of the glow, floating innocently in the centre of the platform. He reaches for it, closing his fingers around a slim, icy object.

“It’s a pen,” Ranboo observes.

“Not just any pen,” Techno says. “A fountain pen. Probably Tolkien’s.”

The pen morphs into a red ball, sitting right at home on Dream’s palm. Looks like this is one of the orbs they need to bypass that door.

“Okay,” Dream says. “Let’s go back and meet up with the others.”

*

“This is where the key should be.”

Eret stares up at the tower in wonder. It looks like a regular tower in a video game, though it is rather simple in design. He spies a tender glow just below its steeple—that must be what they came here for.

“That’s convenient.” Sapnap whistles, fingers clasped behind his head. “Let’s go.”

“Hold on a moment. We’re probably walking into a trap here,” TapL says, grabbing Sapnap by his collar and pulling him back.

Is there a way to reach the top of the tower without alerting whatever Shadow guards this place? Eret glances around. The entire place is fenced up, apart from the gateway at which they stand. However, there is a church to their north, turret peeking over the fence. Could they use that to their advantage?

An idea pops into Eret’s head. It may work, but it may also amount to nothing. In any case, it is something that could get them to the other side without having to fight.

“Let’s grapple over,” Eret says, pointing at the church. Sapnap and TapL’s gaze follows the direction he points in.

Neither of his teammates has an issue with that. Together, they dart down the narrow alleyways, ducking past unwitting Shadows and making their way closer and closer to their target building.

The church is, unexpectedly, empty. Eret believed that it could have been lightly guarded, at least. He summons Robin Hood, scanning the area for any sign of activity. The scan yields nothing amiss—they’re in the clear.

Eret is the first to launch his grappling hook, the wire curling tight around the church’s fixture. He hauls himself through the air, landing with a light tap on the roof. Sapnap and TapL follow closely. From this height, they’d be able to reach the tower’s top without alerting the guards on the ground.

A perfect plan.

Too perfect, Eret thinks, taking a step back as Sapnap readies his hook. It’s almost as if the Shadows looked the other way their entire trip here. There were literally no guards around this church…

The snapping sound of the grappling hook’s wire snaps Eret from his trance. He glances back at his team, eyes widened at Sapnap sailing through the air, hardly able to contain his exhilarated squeals.

“No!” Eret shouts, but it’s far too late.

Midway through Sapnap’s flight, a black shape stretches from the ground, almost like a snake’s tail. It curls around Sapnap’s waist, and before Sapnap respond, the snake’s tail yanks him from his straight path, dragging him into the tower grounds.

They fell for the oldest trick in the fucking book!

“Sapnap!” Eret activates his grappling hook, soaring across the fence with TapL by his side. The tower grounds burst with Shadows, commanded by a giggling woman, her lower half that of a snake’s. Her scales gleam in the full moon, her tail wrapped tightly around Sapnap, preventing even the slightest of struggles.

Eret and TapL land right in front of her, Personas and weapons at the ready. All around them are Shadows, mere foot soldiers, watching the confrontation. Some cheer their leader on, waving their little claws in the air. Most jeer, though.

“Heroes of light! You have fallen into my deadly trap!” The leader Shadow, the Lamia, stabs a mocking finger at them.

Eret blinks. That manner of speech certainly caught him off guard. That is possibly one of the most cliché lines he’s heard in a while.

“Well, none of us are dead yet,” TapL says. “Your deadly trap’s a big failure.”

“Silence!” the Lamia bellows. “You will fall to your knees soon enough, and I will lick your bones from the ground!”

What is that even supposed to mean? Why is she just spouting gibberish?

“Now, we must do battle! My name is Ante, a member of the Fearsome Four, my master’s most trusted guard!”

“Kill her!” Sapnap yells. “Oh God, kill her! I can’t take any more of this!”

Eret has to concur.

TapL fires the first shot, the Lamia barely dodging his grenade. It goes careening into a group of Shadows, the resultant explosion shredding them to smithereens. All hell breaks loose as the Shadows swarm them at the Lamia’s command.

Eret summons Robin Hood with a wave of his hand, arrows of light shot into the air, coming down hard on the surrounding Shadows. One of the arrows pierces the Lamia’s tail, and she shrieks as black blood bursts from the wound, tail unfurling and releasing Sapnap from his constraints.

“Thanks!” Sapnap shouts, barely audible over the din of battle. He summons Captain Kidd, cudgel sizzling with electricity slamming into the Lamia’s torso. She merely cackles, shrugging off the sparks like it was nothing.

“You insolent pests!” the Lamia cries. “Take this!”

Her body glows a bright crimson, conjuring fireballs into thin air. She fires the volley, fiery projectiles aiming for the Thieves. Eret ducks, a fireball shooting past his head and crashing into her peons.

“Sapnap! Fall back!” Eret calls. “You and TapL take down the Shadows!”

Sapnap and TapL obey, almost as if Dream was the one giving the command. Eret rolls out the way of a gnarled claw towards the Lamia, the latter preparing another barrage of fireballs.

Eret’s not going to let her. Robin Hood nocks another arrow, letting loose the single bolt that slams into her serpentine body. Ante screeches, the fireballs flying every which way. Eret hisses, barely lifting his foot before a fireball strikes the ground, burning a crater in the cobblestone.

“TapL!” Sapnap’s piercing shout echoes in the tower grounds.

Eret snaps his head over to see TapL soaring through the air, limp body about to land in a group of rampaging Shadows…

Not on Eret’s watch.

Robin Hood’s arrow lances through the air, travelling at a supersonic speed. Eret’s eyes narrow as he watches the arrow fly, relief washing over him when the projectile slams into TapL’s sleeve. It pins him to the wall, higher than the weaker Shadows can reach.

Now that TapL’s safe, and Sapnap is on his way to help their friend, Eret can focus on fighting the big boss. He turns back to the Lamia, only to see the swell of a red ball hurled his way. Eret draws up a shield, white light blinding as it makes contact with the fireball, deflecting it back onto the Lamia.

The Lamia screams, swerving away from the reflected fireball. Eret takes the opportunity to leap away from a couple of grabby Shadows, knuckles clenched tightly in his hand. He rushes the Lamia, leaping into the air and aiming a spiked punch at her face.

The impact is enough to send the Lamia crashing into the tower, cracks spidering across the bricks. She recovers quickly, however, peeling herself from the snake-shaped indent in the wall and snapping her fingers.

Immediately, a fireball bursts from her hand. Eret yelps, ducking just in time. The fireball singes his hair, the scent of char filling Eret’s ears. Eret sidesteps a pursuing Shadow, gritting his teeth when Ante summons another, bigger fireball, her shrill laughter ringing throughout the battlefield.

He whips out his revolver, charging up the bullet with ribbons of white. Eret points the barrel at the massive fireball, loosing the shot before the Lamia can act.

The gunshot leaves Eret somewhat deaf—he’s never quite liked using guns for this very reason. He hisses, willing the sharp hum in his head to disappear, but the explosion of the fireball in the Lamia’s face is a satisfying sight.

The lamia slams back into the wall, her face scarred by the flames. She slides to the ground, coiling around herself like a lifeless length of rope. At the defeat of their leader, the weaker Shadows disperse, fleeing for their lives.

Eret walks up to the Lamia, who merely fixes him with a taunting smirk. He holds the revolver’s barrel to her forehead, pressing the cold metal against her skin.

“Hah!” she exclaims. “You may have defeated me, but I am only one of the Fearsome Four. You—”

Eret doesn’t wait for her to finish. With a press of the trigger, he ends her life. The Lamia screams, dissolving into a cloud of dust. He spins on his heels to find TapL staggering over, arm thrown around Sapnap’s shoulders.

“You okay?” Eret asks. He reaches over, resting his hand against TapL’s cheek and weaving a Diarama into the spot where he was struck. 

“Yeah. I’ll live.”

“Sorry. Didn’t have any medicine on me,” Sapnap mumbles.

“It’s fine.” Eret dismisses Robin Hood and glancing back up at the tower. “Let’s get the power source and we can get out of here.”

They climb the staircase wrapped around the curve of the tower. All they see when they reach the top is a glowing sphere. Eret closes his fingers around it, and it transforms into a book.

More specifically, the Prince of Nightmares.

“His shitty book.” Sapnap nods.

“I mean, I never read it. I’m not going to pass judgement,” Eret says. The book then morphs once more, into a blue orb. One that would likely fit into that back door. Well then, it’s time to meet the others back at the rendezvous point. He has yet to receive any alerts or distress calls from the other navigators, so…

He can only hope that they made it back safe.

*

“There it is.”

Tubbo stabs a finger at the approaching tower, surrounded by a brick wall, a spiked fence peeking from its surface. He can just barely peer over the top of the fence, the sparkling glimmer just beneath the turret certainly eye-catching.

“Alright then,” Bad says. “All we have to do is to just go and grab it. Easy peasy.”

“But with a field as big as that…there’s bound to be some really strong enemies,” Fundy says. “Be careful going in, yeah?”

Whatever they have to face, they’re prepared for it. They’re the Phantom Thieves, after all. Boldly, the group of four take their first steps into the tower. The immediate clank has Tubbo jumping, throwing a glance around to realize that they’re trapped. Boxed in like the proverbial fish they are.

Not that that was unexpected.

What was unexpected has to be the appearance of what appears to be a humanoid Shadow walking up to them. Dressed in fine cloths, this man resembles that of a businessperson. The rich kind who gets invited to snobbish parties with his haughty friends.

“Who are you?” Skeppy asks.

“Funny you should ask,” the Shadow says. He fishes an old-fashioned stopwatch from his pocket and inspects the time. He closes it with a click, head angled at the sky, as if he cannot bring himself to meet their gazes. “I am the third of the Fearsome Four, the guardian of this Prison Keep.”

“The tower’s called a Prison Keep, is it?” Tubbo’s fingers curl tightly around the grip of his rapier.

“Indeed. It looks like you insects have a brain in that skull of yours, after all.”

“Oh, you take that back right now.” Fundy readies his sabre, casting the scariest glare he can muster at the Shadow, but in his furry form, it’s hardly threatening. Tubbo doubts the Shadow is particularly intimidated.

The Shadow harrumphs. “Perhaps I shall, if you can defeat me in battle and prove your worth!”

“Dude, this guy sounds like he came from some badly-written movie,” Skeppy mutters. “I think he’s called Kuga or something. Don’t remember.”

“How dare you forget my name!” Kuga cries, throwing out a hand as any anime protagonist would when trying to prove a point. “I’ll take back what I said about your intelligence! I will crush you like the mindless bugs you are!”

Black flames engulf their enemy as he cackles. The group tenses as Kuga rises above them, transformed into a two-headed dog. Orthrus roars, snake-like tail whipping about.

Smaller Shadows appear around them, seeping in from the floors and walls. Very soon, they are surrounded by wriggling black masses, at the command of the big boss, this caricature of a typical bad guy.

“Okay, uh…Fundy, can you scan the big muffin?” Bad shouts, his chain whip sailing through the air and smashing into a line of Shadows. The Shadows dissolve into clouds of ash and smoke. “Everyone, focus on the smaller Shadows first!”

The team gets to work, Fundy with Zorro summoned, standing in the middle of the trio as they take care of Shadow after Shadow with bursts of ice, balls of fire and veils of light.

“Take this!”

Tubbo’s head snaps over after his next kill, staring wide-eyed at the barrage of fireballs Kuga launches. He summons Cendrillon, about to erect a barrier of light when Bad throws up a dome of fire. Kuga’s fireballs fizzle away to smoking cinders upon contact.

“How did you block that!” Kuga roars. “That was my ultra-special phoenix fireball attack!”

What an…eloquent name.

“Because you have a shitty naming sense!” Skeppy yells, blocking an assault from a Shadow’s claw and forcing it back. With a stomp of his foot, a trail of icicles stab from the ground below, spearing a cluster of Shadows through and killing them instantly.

“I’ve got it!” Fundy shouts. “It absorbs Agi but is weak to Bufu!”

“Skeppy! You and Tubbo go! Fundy and I will deal with the Shadows here!” Bad grunts as he summons Carmen and looses a volley of fireballs at a multitude of Shadows.

Fundy cuts them a path with whirling green blades, slicing through the Shadows straight towards Kuga. Kuga laughs, shrugging off the green blades with ease and launches another barrage of fireballs.

Tubbo draws up a shield of light, repelling the projectiles and sending them crashing into the Shadows around them. Skeppy dives from left to right, barely evading the fireballs as they come hard and fast, crashing into the ground and splashing smouldering cinders everywhere.

“How did you—!” Kuga starts. Skeppy raises his sword high, coating it with sparkling crystals of ice.

“Take this!”

Skeppy plunges the blade into Kuga’s hide, stabbing the blade straight through its chest. Kuga screeches, roaring and bucking with each twist and turn of Skeppy’s blade.

Well, that wasn’t hard. Tubbo swats away a nearby Shadow, slicing it to shreds with his rapier. They really should get to cleaning up these Shadows now…

The sudden roar of flames behind him has Tubbo turning back, eyes widened at the brilliant stream of fire from one of Kuga’s heads. Skeppy screams as the fire engulfs him, desperately trying to pluck his sword wrenched deep in Kuga’s body.

“Skeppy!” Bad’s scream tears through the battlefield. Tubbo leaps aside as Bad barrels past him, whip snaking about and slamming into hapless Shadows. Tubbo automatically takes his place, slashing at a couple of Shadows hot on Bad’s tail.

A body goes flying through the air. Bad halts in his tracks, head angled towards the sky as Skeppy tumbles, charred and smoking. Fundy weaves a pillow from threads of wind, soft enough to afford a comfortable landing.

However, this unexpected development also means that their formation has completely fallen apart.

Tubbo ducks just in time to avoid the stab of a Shadow’s claw, only to be socked across the face instead. He goes sprawling to the ground, rapier clattering a distance from his outstretched arm. Right beside him, Bad yelps as he’s knocked down, hurriedly flinging fireball after fireball at the encroaching Shadows.

Tubbo summons Cendrillon, firing off spheres of light that dissolve a couple of the black masses, only for them to be replaced almost immediately. They have to get rid of Kuga, and soon, or the Shadows are going to overwhelm them quickly.

Tubbo glances back at Kuga and Bad, currently engaged in a one-on-one fight, but Bad can’t touch him. Not with Agi skills. They need Skeppy’s help.

Tubbo glances over at the other spot where the Shadows have converged—at the foot of the tower. Fundy has formed a barrier of swirling tornado, keeping the weaker Shadows at bay. He has got no time to heal Skeppy.

And with every second, Skeppy approaches death.

Tubbo won’t let that happen.

He swipes at a Shadow that lunges towards him, tossing the thing into a cluster of its brethren. Tubbo makes for where Fundy and Skeppy are based, cutting down Shadows on his way.

“Get out of the fucking way!” Tubbo snarls, cleaving the surrounding Shadows with a graceful spin of his blade. The Shadows burst into ash, giving Fundy enough breathing room to summon a healing spell.

Tubbo protects the duo on his own, spamming spear after spear of light, putting up shield after shattered shield. Most of the Shadows hesitate at an invisible border Tubbo carved, afraid of what might happen if they overstep those boundaries.

Well, Tubbo knows what would happen to them. They’d simply turn into ribbons of black before dissolving into dust, that’s what.

“You good?”

Tubbo locks swords with a Shadow that launched itself at him. He chances a glance back to find Skeppy awake, hauling himself to his feet, grip tight on his katana stabbed into the ground.

“Fucking hell, that bitch!” A string of expletives stream from Skeppy’s mouth. So many that Tubbo finds it oddly amusing, but this is not the time for laughter.

“Skeppy! Help Bad!” Tubbo calls. “Fundy and I will take care of these!”

“On it!” Skeppy plunges his sword into the ground, the cobblestone freezing up beneath their feet and encasing the Shadows in blocks of ice. He summons Goemon, the latter snapping his fingers and utterly shattering the trapped Shadows. Skeppy takes off after Bad and Kuga, skating along the frozen ground. Tubbo grins. Now all they have to do is to demolish these motherfuckers.

“Lift me up, Fundy! Get me high!”

Fundy splutters, sending a jet of wind at an incoming Shadow. “Now’s not the time, Tubbo!”

“Throw me into the sky! Quick!”

Fundy acquiesces to that request. He summons Zorro, conjuring a cyclone beneath Tubbo’s feet that, quite literally, hurls him into the air. Tubbo soars above the Shadows, summoning Cendrillon and conjuring a flurry of light lances.

He brings a fist down and the lances fall like raindrops, spearing the Shadows through and leaving nothing but dust. One by one, across the entirety of the tower grounds, the Shadows fall and turn to nothingness. Never has Tubbo felt so powerful, enlivened by the sheer energy rushing through his veins.

“Oh yeah, baby!” Tubbo plummets to the ground, but Fundy is right there to catch him. He lands with a light tap, supported by one of Fundy’s wind clouds. His gaze sweeps across the empty battlegrounds, rapidly filling with Shadows again.

Now’s their chance to help Bad and Skeppy!

That is, if they needed help.

When Tubbo spins on his heels, rapier at the ready, all he sees is the bleeding stumps of Kuga’s heads. The decapitated body lies dead on the ground, and the two heads, entrapped in ice, remains frozen a distance away.

Well…that’s one way to do it. Skeppy sheathes his katana the same moment the heads shatter, bursting into ash, as does the body. The remaining Shadows scatter, retreating from the warriors of light lest they die by their hand.

Tubbo has never felt more like a superhero. Like Superman or Captain America. They’ve just dealt with an entire horde of Shadows by themselves, without Dream around to give them orders.

“You sure you’re okay?”

Bad inspects Skeppy for further injuries, patting his shoulders and checking his face for signs of wounds. Tubbo whistles, turning away. They can start kissing for all he cares, but he really doesn’t want to be there when it inevitably happens.

Fundy is already climbing the stairs around the tower, scampering as fast as his little fox paws allow him to. Tubbo follows after him, and the patter of footsteps behind alerts him to Bad and Skeppy’s presences as well.

At the top of the tower lies a sphere of light, glowing tenderly. Fundy reaches out to it, closing his paws around a medal. Golden and shiny, a colourful strap attached to the sparkly disc.

“National Book Award,” Fundy reads.

“He probably manipulated the people in charge into giving it to him,” Bad says.

“Yeah, his book isn’t even that good,” Skeppy points out.

The medal transforms into a yellow orb. Could this be what they need to get into the castle?

In that case, it’s time to get going. They don’t want to make Dream and the others wait. Fundy pockets the orb and they head back down the tower, more relaxed now that the Shadows are gone, and the boss defeated.