Chapter Text
It's A Wonderful Smurf
by Rowena Zahnrei
Mandrake the Mischievous Imp wandered aimlessly through the forest.
"I'm bored!" he moaned.
Three birds who had been conversing on a tree branch above his head flew away. They knew Mandrake the Mischievous and his infamous tricks. If he was bored, no one in the forest was safe.
"I've nothing to do," the little imp went on. "I've already turned the milk in the milkmaid's pail into smelly old cheese-the look on her face when she found out! I've enchanted every one of the fat baker's new loaves so that when they're sliced they'll turn into muddy boots."
He sighed.
"But, I'm tired of playing tricks on humans. They're far too easy to fool. I want a realchallenge. I have to think up the ultimate trick, a trick that will keep me laughing until the end of time! But what? And, who could possibly serve as my perfect victim?"
The little imp sighed again, then stopped wandering and looked about. He was in a part of the forest he'd never been to before. For a moment, he was interested.
"Oh, my! Just look at that enormous oak tree! I don't believe I've ever seen one that thick around before!"
Then, he sighed most deeply and drooped until he was looking down at his toes.
"But I'm still bored."
Suddenly, he snapped his fingers.
"Wait, I know! I'll take a nap under that great oak. I've been walking all day-no wonder I can't think up any really good tricks! A nap is just what I need to rejuvenate my wonderfully mischievous brain!"
It was no sooner said than done. The moment the little imp's back rested against the tree's bark, he was fast asleep.
*******
Brainy Smurf looked around at his stacks and stacks of hand-bound books and sighed, deeply.
"I'm so bored!" he exclaimed, sitting dejectedly down on one of the smaller book piles.
"I've read every one of these books at least a dozen times. I know the stories, spells, rules, and quotations backwards and forwards! If I look at another word, I think I'll smurf!"
He sighed again and turned desperately towards the window.
"But, what can I do?" he moaned. "I don't feel like writing. I'm too bored to smurf up with any good quotations."
Struck with sudden inspiration, he jumped up.
"I know!" he exclaimed, snapping his fingers. "I'll go see if any of the other Smurfs are in need of my expert advice! I'm sure they'll all be grateful for my help. After all, where would any of them be without me, Brainy Smurf, to help advise and guide them as to the best way to smurf about their business?"
Feeling much better, Brainy straightened the short stack of books he'd been sitting on and strode purposefully from his little mushroom house.
The first Smurf he came across was Harmony.
Harmony stood in the middle of the Village, blowing his horn with all his might. From the trumpet's bell issued the most appalling collection of fractured notes that ever afflicted a pair of ears.
Brainy froze for a moment, then he quickly covered his ears and strode away. Harmony's awful playing was beyond even his help.
The next Smurf he saw was Smurfette. She was busily watering the flowers in the small garden that surrounded her house. As she moved her watering can to and fro, sprinkling every flower with just the right amount of water it needed to thrive, she hummed a happy little Smurf song.
Brainy had never been very interested in watering flowers, but he had read a book on the subject of gardening once. Taking a moment to recall what he could from that book, Brainy strode importantly forward and prepared to amaze Smurfette with his superior brain.
"Good morning, Smurfette," he said, gracing her with his biggest smile.
She barely glanced at him.
"Oh, good morning, Brainy," she said distractedly.
Brainy was willing to allow for the fact that she was too intent on watering her flowers to take the time to show him the proper respect. He decided to let her brusque, almost dismissive greeting slide without comment.
"Smurfette," he started, "I was watching you just now, and I couldn't help but notice that the way-"
"I'm sorry, Brainy," said Smurfette, "but I don't have time to talk just now. I must finish watering these flowers before the sun gets too high."
Brainy nodded, trying his best to hide his disappointment.
"Very well, Smurfette. I understand. But remember, if you ever need any help-"
"That's nice, Brainy. Good-bye!"
"Oh. Um, good-bye, Smurfette."
Determined to be of help to somesmurf, Brainy went on.
Everywhere he looked, Smurfs were busy. Even Lazy's snoring had an industrious sound to it. But, no Smurf seemed to need any assistance. Farmer, Tailor, Greedy, Poet, all of them were too busy to pay any attention to Brainy's advice. The Smurflings were too busy fishing to try out a new game he'd invented. Even Puppy was too busy digging holes in the bank of the River Smurf to play smurf-the-stick with him.
When he approached Handy to tell him (after careful observation) that what his Smurf-o-Matic Water Smurfer really needed to make it complete was a pulley, Handy was downright rude.
"Fine!" Brainy shouted. "Don't listen to me! See if I care! I know a Smurf who always finds my help useful. In fact, I think I'll go see if he needs my help right now!"
"Good!" Handy shouted back. "You do that! Leave me alone so I can smurf my work!"
Brainy turned on his heel and stalked off, pushing his glasses angrily up his nose.
"That Handy Smurf will see I'm right soon enough. How does he expect to smurf that water bucket without a pulley? Some Smurfs just won't be told!"
In no time at all, Brainy had crossed the Village to Papa Smurf's house.
Looking in the window, he could see Papa Smurf at his work table, a vast collection of colored liquids and powders in special glass containers arrayed before him. In a corner, Baby Smurf crawled about, giggling and playing contentedly with his blocks.
"Good morning, Papa Smurf!"
Papa Smurf looked up, but Brainy couldn't tell if he was annoyed or simply surprised at the interruption.
"Oh, it's you, Brainy. Hello."
Brainy grinned, encouraged by the fact that Papa Smurf didn't seem to be dismissing him with his hello as all the other Smurfs had.
"I was wondering, Papa Smurf, do you need any help with your experiment? I want you to know, I would be only too happy to do anything you ask!"
Papa Smurf brightened, and Brainy's chest swelled with hope.
"Why, yes, Brainy," Papa Smurf said. "There is something you could do. It would really be a big help to me."
Brainy was so happy he could have danced on air.
"Oh, anything, anything, Papa Smurf!"
"Will you take care of Baby for me?"
Brainy's spirits crashed back to earth with a heart-shattering jar.
"Take care of Baby, Papa Smurf?" he repeated, praying that he'd heard wrong.
"Yes," Papa Smurf confirmed.
Brainy couldn't have been more devastated if he'd broken his glasses, then been told it was impossible to make new ones and he'd have to live a life of almost complete blindness for the rest of his many, many years.
"It would really help me," Papa Smurf went on, oblivious. "You see, this experiment I'm working on requires my utmost attention, and Baby's been rather frisky today."
He chuckled behind his bushy, white beard.
"I understand, Papa Smurf," Brainy said quietly. He could have cried, but never in front of Papa Smurf.
"How smurfy! You can have him until dinner time. I should have finished this experiment by then."
"Yes, Papa Smurf."
Brainy sighed, coming into the house and lifting Baby from his blocks.
Baby stretched out his hands for his blocks and screwed up his little face in preparation for a really terrific wail. Before he could open his mouth, Brainy scooped up his blocks as well. Baby grabbed a red one and started chewing happily on a corner.
Brainy looked down at him dejectedly, then turned to go.
"Always glad to be of help," he said.
He only wished that Papa Smurf wanted him to assist with his experiment. As it was, he'd as good as told him he was as much an unwanted bother as Baby, and that he'd be thrilled to be rid of both of them.
Brainy blinked his stinging eyes rapidly behind his glasses and shut the door quietly behind him. He didn't want to be more of a bother to Papa Smurf than he already was.
To Be Continued...