Ruth Nelson Obituary

Ruth Nelson

Ruth Nelson, prominent social activist and philanthropist, and former Chairwoman of the Tulsa Housing Authority, as well as former president of Planned Parenthood for Arkansas and Eastern Oklahoma, died in Tulsa Wednesday morning, January 25, 2023. She was 87.

Initially coming onto its board 1989, Ms. Nelson took over as chairwoman of the Tulsa Housing Authority (THA) in 1991. She stepped down in 2016, her tenure with the agency having spanned over a quarter century. Chea Reddit, president and CEO of THA during Nelson's time as chairwoman, remarked of the Authority before Ms. Nelson, "A large percentage of our units were boarded up. None of our sites had grass, much less landscaping. Many of our residents slept in their bathtubs for fear of stray gunfire. Open drug dealing was rampant, and not even staff was safe to walk through certain areas alone." The Tulsa World wrote at the time of Ms. Nelson stepping down that "Since Nelson's time on the board, the housing agency has changed into one in which nearly all units are occupied, and major renovation projects have been completed." These projects included new facilities in North Tulsa, West Tulsa, and, most famously at 10 North Yale, where she and the THA withstood public anxiety to erect a four story 80 unit facility in 2009. The U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) labeled the Tulsa Housing Authority a "High Performer" for the final 18 years Ms. Nelson served as chairwoman.

Ms. Nelson first became involved in housing issues in 1968 as a board member for what was then known as The Tulsa Recreation Center for the Physically Limited (now The Center for Individuals with Physical Challenges), where she eventually served as president, and where her mother had been a longtime volunteer. Eager to find a way for the center's clients and others similarly challenged to live independent lives with adequate care and facilities, she worked to broker a relationship with THA that eventually resulted in the erecting of Murdock Villa, a Section 8 complex with over a 140 units built by THA on land adjacent to the center in 1981. She joined the THA board in part to address problems resulting from police calls to Murdoch Villa in its early years, not only helping to rectify the problem, but leading to years of devotion to housing issues.

Her involvement with Planned Parenthood of Arkansas and Eastern Oklahoma began in 1985, eventually resulting in several terms as its president. At a time when the organization became largely synonymous nationally with abortion and little else, she advocated a pro-choice mindset but pushed her chapter to focus on larger women's health and education services, most importantly for the disenfranchised. This took her into communities of every race, social stratum and religion. So long as it meant better lives for the underserved, she collaborated with Priests, Rabbis and Reverends, and congregations of every color. She raised money for her causes in any community that might possibly take an interest.

A member of the Tulsa Historical Society's Hall of Fame, as well as the Tulsa Library Hall of Fame, Ms. Nelson was awarded the Key to the City by the city council in 2016 in recognition for her work with housing, women and the poor. But much of Ms. Nelson's work occurred anonymously, often without the recipients of her philanthropy, whether individuals or organizations, ever knowing the source of the largesse. Said Chea Redditt, "Her drive and determination has touched the lives of tens of thousands of Tulsans-not Tulsans of wealth or power, but the disabled and the poor. Whether they know it or not, Ruth Nelson has changed their lives." Because her activism, charitable work and travel reached far outside of Tulsa into greater Oklahoma and beyond, Ms. Nelson nourished friendships all over the country and world.

Ruth Nelson, nee Kaiser, was born in 1935 in London, England, where her mother, Kate Kaiser had travelled so her first child wouldn't be born in what was then Nazi Germany. Ms. Nelson's father, Herman Kaiser, remained in Germany at the time to settle affairs. The Kaisers were Jewish. They emigrated to The United States in 1941, sponsored by Tulsan Sam Miller, settling first in an apartment near downtown before eventually moving to a house on South Victor. Ms. Nelson attended Lee Elementary School and Central High School, from which she graduated in 1954. She graduated from Bryn Mawr College, in Bryn Mawr Pennsylvania, Magna Cum Laude with a degree in Philosophy in 1958. She remained heavily involved with the college for the remainder of her life, traversing the globe as a fundraiser, and eventually serving on its board.

She married Don Nelson of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania in 1958, and they settled there briefly to have the first of four children, a son, Mike Nelson, in 1959. The three moved to Tulsa in 1961. Ms. Nelson applied the same devotion to family she did to activism and philanthropy, committing much of her life to raising and educating her four children, assigning books for them to read and report on during lively dinner table conversations. Like her parents, she believed education provided a passport to life, or, as she put it, "If life is a series of meals, if you're educated, you'll always know what you're eating or at least how to read the menu." She taught Latin at Holland Hall School when her son, Randy's Latin Teacher took a leave of absence, and coached middle school Girl's Tennis for her daughter, Pam and her classmates upon learning that the school didn't have a program for girls. An avid reader, she devoured three newspapers daily (The Tulsa World, The New York Times, and The Guardian) as well as a steady diet of fiction and non-fiction. Her favorite author was William Faulkner whose complete works she read, many of them two or three times. Not only a tennis player, but scuba diver as well, she travelled the oceans to swim among whales, sharks and all the marine life she could encounter, often on "live-aboard" vessels, where she could dive two to three times per day, often at night.

Divorced from Don Nelson in 1982, she married Tom Murphy in 1994, with whom she shared a love for The New York Yankees and travel. Together they ventured to nearly every continent, with an early emphasis on the most remote environs, from Africa to India to Asia, "while we can still do it, and before it all changes," she would tell her children and friends. She traversed rivers in dugouts, slept in huts in remote villages, and bathed in streams well into her 60s. She and Tom hosted regular family get togethers in Jamaica attended by three generations, and took grandchildren on trips to Africa, as well as on train trips through Canada. For her 75 birthday her children and grandchildren joined her and Mr. Murphy on a cruise through Alaska's Inside Passage, and for her 80th, for an excursion down the Peruvian Amazon.

Ms. Nelson is survived by her husband; brother, George Kaiser; and her four children and their spouses, Mike Nelson and Michelle Murray of Los Angeles, California, Pam Nelson and Peter Fritschel of Cambridge, Massachusetts, Randy Nelson and Rona Nelson of New York City, and Tim Nelson and Lisa Benavides-Nelson, also of New York City. She leaves behind 10 grandchildren, Katherine Nelson, Sam Fritschel, Eric Nelson, Emma Fritschel, Annie Nelson, Henry Nelson, Renee Fritschel, Teddy Nelson, Harper Nelson, and Elijah Nelson.

In lieu of flowers, donations should be made to The Tulsa Center for Individuals with Physical Challenges or Clare House, both in Tulsa.

Funeral Services will be Friday, 12 p.m., at Congregation B'nai Emunah. Interment will follow at Rose Hill Memorial Park Cemetery, both in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

Fitzgerald Ivy Chapel, 918-585-1151 www.fitzgeraldfuneralservice.com