Made in Partnership with 
When people say things like, “I wish I saw more Black couples,” or “is anybody still getting married anymore,” I simply respond by saying, “oh, I guess you don’t watch Black Love.” If there’s one place where you can find real couples (including celebs) sharing real-life experiences about love, it’s on the television series, “Black Love.”
In 2017, when the very first episode aired, I practically designated myself as an honorary member of the Black Love family and social media team. Since then, I’ve been sharing, blogging, and writing pieces about the show on my personal website, other national websites, as well as BlackLove.com. I’m not even a big Twitter person, but for just about every season, I’ve tweeted and shared key, valuable insights from the show.
Not to mention, I’ve had the wonderful pleasure and honor of attending live events, and I’ve even built relationships and interviewed the creators as well as a number of couples from the show. That’s how invested I am in the “Black Love” series and my very own Black love story (I’m happily married for 13 going on 14 years).
Whether you’re a “day one” viewer like me or you caught on later, it doesn’t take long to realize just how impactful the show is and has been. When I think about how the series has impacted me personally, there are so many things that come to mind*.
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“Black Love” provides me with a sense of community.
Before the series started, and with the exception of some of our favorite 80s and 90s television sitcoms, mainstream media hasn’t always highlighted the beauty and buoyancy of Black love. The Black Love series, however, has changed all of that. We finally see ourselves on-screen – raw and uncut – completely vulnerable. We see and hear celebrities but in a way that makes us feel more connected to them simply as humans. We also see everyday people like you and me. As someone who wasn’t raised around a lot of married couples, “Black Love” has created a community — on TV, online, and in-person — where we can hear from and connect with other like-minded people. It’s because of the couples’ stories and experiences that we’re able to find “our people,” as well as fellow champions and advocates of true love.
“Black Love” helps dispel certain myths about dating, love, and marriage.
One thing’s for certain, not all love stories are exactly the same. Moreover, just because something worked for someone else’s marriage, doesn’t mean it’ll work for yours. I’ll be the first to tell you that our marriage was rough the first few years primarily because of growing pains and adjusting to our new normal (no one ever told me that prior to getting married). Eventually, however, we found our rhythm. Just like so many other “Black Love” couples did.
I’ve learned through my own experiences as well as through the stories shared on “Black Love” that no, sometimes the first year of marriage may not feel like a honeymoon. However, that doesn’t mean the next 10 years won’t feel even better than the first. No, the love of your life may not show up when or exactly how you envisioned them. However, just because something isn’t packaged the way you thought it would be doesn’t mean it’s not exactly what you need (thanks, Ashley Chea from season one, for that beautiful reminder). Everyone doesn’t know everything and everything doesn’t necessarily apply to every relationship, but “Black Love” is certainly a place where you can get the real deal about real love.
“Black Love” inspires me to recommit to the commitment.
Unfortunately, a lot of people commit to the wedding before they commit to the marriage, failing to realize that the wedding only lasts a day, while the marriage is meant to last a lifetime. Hence, it’s about committing to choosing to love your partner each and every day. Every time the couples on the show reminisce about how their love story began, it takes me back to the early days when my husband and I started dating and later when we said “I do.” So, I find myself recommitting to the vows I made almost 14 years ago. One thing’s for certain, happiness and true love can’t reside if both people aren’t willing to commit to each other and the marriage…whatever it takes.
As one of the creators once said at a Black Love event: “Black love is like self-care/love for two.” So, instead of constantly asking “what can you do for me,” we’re all encouraged to lead more by asking “what can I do for you.”
“Black Love” ignites inspiration and empowerment.
So often, we see picture-perfect images across social media, which can sometimes cause people to think that love and marriage is as easy as riding a bike. Unlike the traditional Disney fairytale endings, however, love and marriage takes work and effort. People need to know that so they don’t feel like aliens when they encounter unexpected difficulties and trials in their marriage. It’s comforting to simply know that you’re not alone and that you’ll get through this.
Black love was already something that we were talking about before the series aired, but the show amplifies and empowers so many other voices, including my own and so many others who are proud to share their love stories. “Black Love” has inspired so many people to share not only the happy moments, but also the ups and downs. It reminds people that yes, love and marriage requires work, but as with almost anything, if it’s worth having, then it’s worth fighting for.
Contrarily, there are a lot of negative images and misinformation out there when it comes to love and relationships. So, to experience and witness spouses who love like they do, cherish each other like they do, treat, protect, and care for each other like they do, is beautiful and powerful.
“Black Love” creates genuine connections.
Every episode includes a diverse array of people from different backgrounds and all walks of life. Each season highlights couples who almost anyone can relate to and learn from. Who doesn’t want to feel like they belong?
Not to mention, every episode feels like a therapy session because of the topics that are openly discussed: sex, mental health, finances, grief, patience, fertility, family dynamics, and so much more. They say “we go through to help others go through.” So, hearing the couples’ stories creates an instant connection and makes them feel so relatable. It reinforces the idea that I am, and we are, not alone.
Additionally, many of us have developed real-life connections and relationships with each other because of our mutual passion for all things related to Black love in general. The series inspired me so much that I created my own show, Wives Wine Down®, which has featured the incredible Codie, one of the Black Love creators, as well as some of the wives from Black Love. The more we continue showcasing real people sharing real, honest, and positive stories about love and everything in between, the more the connections will continue.
“Black Love” shows me what it means to give your spouse grace.
As the saying goes, “nobody’s perfect, but you’re perfect for me.” The sooner we realize just how imperfect we are, the easier it is to forgive others and move on. Honestly, I can easily hold onto something for a while and bring it up years later, but I’ve learned that rehashing the past can keep you from enjoying the present and the future. Whether it’s a petty argument or a reasonable misstep (depending on your personal limitations or dealbreakers), extending grace forces you to move on and move forward peacefully.
“Black Love” increases my confidence and hope in love and marriage and redefines “relationship goals.”
It provides hope for both married and single people. They say “it’s easier to be it when you can see it.” So, when you see someone who looks like you, accomplishing something that you aspire to do, it automatically motivates you and makes you feel like you can do it too. “Black Love” showcases so many couples who, after so many years and decades, are still in love and still enjoying life together. If that’s not so-called “relationship goals” — love, peace, and happiness — then I don’t know what is.
“Black Love” has shown the world that so-called “relationship goals” go deeper than merely aspiring to be America’s next top power couple. Relationship goals, to me, means to love God, love yourself, and love everyone else. It’s the ability to see a couple, like so many featured on the series, learn from their experience, and aspire and believe that it’s possible to experience love or something similar (if that is one’s desire) without obsessing about being exactly what another couple looks like.
So, thank you, Black Love, for showing us who we are, who we can be, and what love can look like. Contrary to popular belief, people are still falling in love. People are still getting married. People are staying married. How do I know? Because I’m one of those people and because “Black Love” has spent five (almost six) seasons showing us that Black love is not a trend. Rather, it’s a commitment to walk boldly through life, overcoming challenges with a partner who is committed and determined to love you through and through. Although the series is ending, Black love in general will continue for more generations to come.
*I dedicate this to my beautiful mother, Vivian Brown, who recently passed away (God rest her soul). I know how much she loved me and my husband, and she knew how much I loved her, Black love and “Black Love,” the series; so much so that one of her last gifts to me that I found in her home was a blanket with a picture of me and my husband with the words “E&S = Black Love.” I am forever grateful because it was her love for me that has allowed me to give and receive love in an abundant way.
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