It’s common for people to come together after a formal funeral ceremony. But what is a funeral repast? A funeral repass or repast is often held by the family as an opportunity to come together in celebration of the life of one recently passed. These events provide opportunities for people who knew the deceased to share fond memories and pay their respects to the family. Although less formal than a funeral, a funeral repast often calls for the same conduct and dress code as formal ceremonies. Essentially, a funeral repast is the same as the reception, the term by which it is commonly known.
What is a repass or repast after a funeral?
Fundamentally, a funeral repass is an extended celebration either for exclusive guests or for all those who attended the funeral. This is ultimately up to the family of the deceased. The tradition is a further opportunity to pay respects to the dead and to express joy and appreciation for the person’s life well-lived.
The purpose of a repast
So why is it necessary to host or attend or host a funeral repast? It is another opportunity for people to honor and celebrate the lives of the deceased in a positive light. A funeral ceremony can often be a very somber affair, therefore a funeral repass encourages more celebration than a funeral does. This is not to say that a repast is the same as a celebration of life, but it’s somewhere in between this and a formal funeral. These events provide a space for family and friends to share a meal in honor of the recently passed.
What happens during a funeral repast?
As a celebratory gathering, people socialize with one another while sharing food. They often discuss happy memories and positive experiences they had with the deceased. If you’re having a conversation with someone, it’s important to maintain an air of respect and be courteous towards those close to the recently departed. There is often buffet-style food served at a funeral repast, although canapes and finger food are also very common.
Location and guest list
Hiring venues can often be an expensive undertaking, therefore funeral repasses are often hosted at family homes or in public areas like the park. However, some funeral repasses do take place in paid venues, which specialize in catering and larger gatherings. The guest list is determined by the family of the deceased. Sometimes, all those in attendance at the formal funeral ceremony are allowed to join the funeral repast. However, if the family wishes, the repass may only be intended for a group close to the deceased and the family thereof. You should never assume you are invited and rather wait for your invitation or speak to the funeral director about whether or not attending is appropriate.
The reception
The funeral repass is generally known as the reception, less formally. It’s a time for those who cared for the recently deceased to come together and share fond memories of a life well-lived. The slightly less formal atmosphere of a funeral repast is great for discussing more light-hearted topics and showing respect for the departed.
The food and drink
At a funeral repast, the food and drink are typically buffet styles, with finger foods and canapes usually on offer. A repass is defined as “the taking of food, as a meal”, therefore the food is a very central part of a funeral repast. Depending on the tradition of the religion, there may be wine and beer served too. The food is also heavily dependent on the religious requirements of the funeral. For example, if you’re attending a Jewish funeral, there will not be food containing pork.
Offering sympathy and appreciation
It’s highly appropriate to offer sympathy to the family and close friends at a funeral repass. It’s also slightly less formal which means people are more receptive to receiving words of sympathy. Depending on the religious belief, it may also be appropriate to bring flowers and a sympathy card. Writing a card or a letter is often easier than expressing verbal sympathy, so consider doing this if you feel it’s necessary.
Other customs
Some of the other customs you can expect from a funeral repast take the deceased wishes into account. Here, you may expect to hear some of the departed’s favorite music and perhaps participate in activities they would have loved. It’s also a common occasion to have open mic sessions, where loved ones can stand up and say a few words of affection and sympathy in front of the repast party.
In terms of clothing, it is customary to wear dark, plain colors as you would at a funeral. You should not wear bright colors like red, orange, or pink, and you should also avoid busy patterns and prints. Aim for formal outfits with colors like black, dark navy blue, or even brown.
The cost of a funeral repast
The funeral itself is usually a costly feat, so the funeral repast tends to be more intimate and less extravagant. For this reason, many families try to save money by having the repass at someone’s house or at an appropriate public location. Guests of the funeral repast or repass may receive requests to bring a plate of food for everyone to share. This also holds sentimental value, as it adds to the idea of sharing a meal in honor of the deceased.
What is the proper etiquette when attending a funeral repast?
One’s behavior at a funeral repass should not be dissimilar to the etiquette of a funeral. Although you may feel emotional about the passing of a loved one, it’s important that you do not seek the family’s support. Just like a funeral, a repass is still a time for mourning, and the family will likely require sympathy and support from you. One should also take care when engaging in conversation. The repass is a time to honor the dead, and conversations should be conducted with the utmost respect and grace.
