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This article was co-authored by John Keegan. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
This article has been viewed 1,640,067 times.
It's not always easy to tell if a boy has a crush on you. However, there are many tell-tale signs that a boy likes you as more than just a friend! Once you know the truth, you can be on your way to starting a relationship with the boy, or can just feel satisfied by knowing the score.
Steps
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See if he tries to impress you. If a boy has a crush on you, then he’ll go out of his way to try to impress you. He’ll want you to think that he’s brave, exciting, cool, or even wacky. The next time you’re around the boy who might have a crush on you, see if he starts trying to say or do something that is calculated to impress you. If he tries to show off when he’s playing sports, brags about his awesome weekend plans, tries to do something crazy like jump in a pool with his clothes on, or engages in other behavior that seems calculated to impress you, then he may have a crush on you.
- Watch him closely when he does something “impressive.” If he keeps looking over at you to make sure you’re paying attention or to see what you think, then there’s a good chance he has a crush on you.
- Though it can be hard to know what he does when you’re not around, try to get a sense of whether he starts showing off more when you’re there. For example, if he starts telling a ridiculous joke or showing off his ability to juggle oranges just moments after you walk in the door, this behavior may be for your benefit.
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See if he’s jealous of the guys you hang out with. This is another dead giveaway that the boy has a crush on you. If he’s jealous of the guys you hang out with, then it can only be for one reason: because he likes you and feels threatened by them. Guys have different ways of showing that they’re jealous of other guys. He may just make fun of the guys to you, be rude or aggressive to the guys, or just roll his eyes and turn away from the other guys in your orbit. If he’s jealous of the guys you’re around, it’s because he wishes he had more quality time with you instead.
- He won’t admit that he’s jealous, of course. But if you find him constantly talking about what a loser your friend Jake is or asking you why you’re even friends with a weirdo like Steve, then this is his way of saying he wished you were spending time with him instead.
- If he puts down your guy friends to their faces, then he’s definitely jealous of them. Though this behavior can be a problem if he’s being really rude, if he’s just not being super nice for a while, it may just mean that he has a crush on you.
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See if he’s always looking for excuses to hang out with you. If the boy has a crush on you, then he’ll want to spend as much time with you as possible. He may suggest that you hang out after school to study together, or he may invite you to the mall to watch a movie with a big group of friends. He may go to a party just because he knows you’ll be there. He may ask what you’re up to and may conveniently say that he was thinking of doing the same thing. If it seems like he’s been around more often and that he’s been doing a lot of the same things as you, then it may be because he has a crush on you.
- Think about it. If you barely saw him a month ago and suddenly he always seems to be around, then it may be because he has a crush on you.
- He may be too shy to hang out with you by himself, but if he and a pack of friends are always around, it may still mean that he likes you.
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See if he flirts with you. It may not always be easy to tell when a boy is flirting with you. A lot of it depends on his age – if he’s in middle school, his own way of flirting with you may even be to tease you or to poke fun at you. Every age and stage of life has a slightly different definition of flirting, but the main thing is, if he singles you out, spends more time around you than others, is playful about something you say, do, or wear, and generally singles you out, even if you feel like it’s in a teasing way, then it means he’s flirting with you.[1]
- If he’s playful and makes fun of you for always wearing purple or keeps making jokey comments about your earrings, then he’s flirting.
- If he gently pushes you or elbows you, this is his way of flirting with you and trying to get closer to you.
- If he teases you so much that he has even come up with a special nickname for you, then he’s definitely flirting. Many boys lightly tease as a way to tell you that they like you even if it comes off as a bit rude.
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See if he treats you differently from other girls. One key indicator of whether a boy has a crush on you or not is how he treats other girls. If he treats other girls exactly the same way as he treats you, then he may not have a crush on you. But if he’s pretty flirtatious with you and ignores or doesn’t care much for other girls, then he may have a crush on you. Many boys will try to make you laugh just to get your attention too. Another option is that he’ll pay attention to other girls and will kind of ignore you — as confusing as it is, this may also mean that he likes you and just feels shy toward you.
- The next time you’re around him and other girls, notice what he does with them. Does he playfully tease them, ask them lots of questions or even jokingly put his arm around them? If he does the same with you, then he may just be a flirtatious person. However, if he treats them differently from you, then you may be the real apple of his eye.
- He may even be more polite and gentlemanly around you than other girls. Does he hold open doors or pull out chairs for you more than he does for other girls? If so, then he may have a crush on you.
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See if he does favors for you. Another sign that he has a crush on you is that the boy will find ways to do small favors for you. Maybe he’ll throw out your trash for you in class. Maybe he’ll help you carry your books. Maybe he’ll check what time a movie is playing for you. Even the little things count. Think about it. Do you feel like he’s going out of his way to be helpful to you? If he does this for you but not for other girls, then it may mean that he’s doing favors for you because he has a crush on you.[2]
- Of course, he may just be a friendly guy who does favors for everyone. But the chances of that are less likely than the chances of him having a crush on you.
- The fact that he does favors for you means that he’s being thoughtful about what you need. This is a sign that he has a crush on you!
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Observe his phone etiquette. Nowadays, one of the easiest ways to tell if a boy likes you is to see what he does when it comes to his phone. He may be too shy to truly communicate with you in person and may feel more comfortable getting to know you over the phone. Here are some signs that he may have a crush on you:
- Did he ask for you your phone number? Don't despair if he doesn't—he may see giving you his as a more subtle way to show he's interested. If he gives you his, text him immediately with your name so that he has your number. After giving your number, give him a smile and say something along the lines of “Give me a call sometime, we can hang out!"
- Pay attention to how often he calls or texts you. If he texts you a lot, that's definitely a sign that he's interested. If he never texts you, he may be shy. Don't be afraid to make the first move here—it's possible that he's just waiting for your text! If you text him on multiple occasions and he doesn't respond, though, it's probably a sign that he's not into you.
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See if he’s always looking for excuses to touch you. It’s only natural that if a boy likes you, he’ll go out of his way to touch you more. If you’re sitting next to each other and your knees or legs are touching, or if he keeps “accidentally” touching your feet with his, then it may be because he likes you. If you’re in a group setting and he tends to playfully push or shove you a lot, to poke you, or just to touch you in some other silly way, then this may also be a sign that he has a crush on you.[3]
- Take a look at what he does the next time you’re together. Does he end up subtly touching you or brushing up against you a few times? If so, then he may have a crush on you. Of course, if he’s really shy, then he may not try to touch you and may even be a little bit intimidated when he’s near you.
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See if you can catch him staring at you. This can be another sign that the boy has a crush on you. If you look over at him during math class and catch him looking at you, or if you see him looking at you all the way across the cafeteria, then it may mean that he has a crush on you. If he blushes and looks away, or just seems embarrassed that you’ve “caught” him staring at you, then it’s even more likely that he has a crush on you.[4]
- The downside is that if you’re always trying to catch him staring at you, he’ll start to think that you’re the one who has a crush on him. But that’s true, isn’t it?
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See if he turns his body toward you when you talk. The next time you talk to the guy, see if he turns his chest, shoulders, and feet toward you, and if he generally points his body in your direction. If he has a crush on you, then he’ll want to be closer to you and to be absorbed in what you’re saying. He may even lean toward you to get closer during conversation. If he’s turned away from you, has his arms crossed, or is angling his shoulders in the opposite direction, then he may not have a crush on you after all. Though body language isn’t everything, it really can help you get a sense of whether a boy has a crush on you or not.[5]
- Of course, it can also help to observe the boy with other people. See if his body language is more open toward you than it is with others. If he just always crosses his arms over his chest when he talks to people, then it won’t mean anything bad if he does it around you.
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See if he fidgets around you. Fidgeting is a prime sign of nervousness. If the guy tends to play with the drawstring of his hoodie, pick at his nails, brush away an imaginary spot on his shirt, or kick at nothing when he’s around you, then it may be because he likes you and feels nervous. The next time you talk, see if he moves his arms and other body parts around more than usual. If so, then this may mean that he has a crush around you because he’s nervous about how he should act when you’re together.
- He may also play with his phone or just look at it just for something to do. This may not mean that he’s bored and wants to talk to someone else, but that he’s just nervous about talking to you.
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See if he preens around you. If you see the guy fixing his hair, looking in a mirror or reflective surface, brushing a spot off his shoes, or adjusting his shirt or pants a bit when he’s around you, then it may be because he has a crush on you and is nervous about looking his best. The next time you talk, see if he acts a bit self-conscious about his appearance. If he does, then it may be because he likes you and wants to look his best.[6]
- Think about it: you tend to spend more time looking in the mirror before you see your crush, don’t you? Guys feel the same way. If the boy likes you, then he may be wondering about how he looks right in the middle of talking to you.
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See if his face lights up when you walk into a room. This is one of the biggest giveaways that the guy likes you. If you walk into a room, whether it’s a classroom or a birthday party, and his face lights up, his eyes get bigger, and a smile spreads across his face, then this may mean that he has a crush on you. He may not come over to you immediately, and he may act more coy about how he feels, but this first reaction shows that he really may have a crush on you after all.[7]
- His face may light up and he may turn away or try to play it cool instead of coming up to you immediately. But if you see the initial look in his eyes, you’ll know his true feelings.
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See if he gives you his full attention when you talk. If a boy really has a crush on you, then he’ll be likely to give you all of his attention. He’ll turn his body toward you, make eye contact, and won’t look around for his other friends or text them during your conversation (unless he uses his phone as a crutch because he’s nervous). If his friends walk by and he doesn’t even see them, or if he doesn’t keep looking around the room, then it’s because he has a crush on you and is completely absorbed by you.[8]
- The next time you talk, see if he gives you all of his attention. If he looks at you closely, responds to what you say, and seems really engaged, then he may have a crush on you. However, he may also be so nervous that he may zone out because he’s so busy worrying about what to say next!
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See if he asks you if you like anyone. If the boy asks you if you like anyone or if you have a crush on anyone, then this is a dead giveaway that he has a crush on you. He may be asking because he’s jealous or nervous that you like other guys, or because he’s secretly hoping that you’ll say that you like him. This may not be the most subtle way for him to go about it, but most boys don’t know better. If he’s always teasing you or bothering you about whether or not you like someone, then it may be because he has a crush on you.
- However, there is one exception to this rule. He may be asking you if you like someone because one of his friends likes you and he’s really asking for him. See if he has a friend who is always eyeing you and who you may think could have a crush on you instead.
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See if he talks about how he can’t find the right girl. If the boy is always telling you that none of the girls he knows are good enough for him, or that none of them are as smart, pretty, or interesting as you, then this may be his way of telling you that you’re the right girl for him. If he’s gone on dates with girls and tells you that he didn’t really like them, or if he’s always just telling you about how other girls never measure up, then this may be his way of telling you that you’re really the one for him.
- Just make sure this doesn’t mean he has you in the Friend Zone. If he’s asking you for advice on his dating life, then it may be because he just looks at you as a friend. But if he just “complains” to you about how he can’t find the right girl, then he may be telling you that he has a crush on you.
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See if he’s always finding subtle ways to compliment you. Another sign that the boy has a crush on you is that he always finds a way to give you a compliment. He may not say something as obvious as, “You look so beautiful today,” But he may tell you that your dress is a pretty color, that he likes your new earrings, or that he thinks your new shoes are awesome. Just the fact that he notices how you look, what you do, or what you’re wearing shows that he pays attention to you and that he probably has a crush on you.
- He may also compliment things like how awesome you are at sports, how smart you are in class, or how much he loves your jokes. Though some guys are more shy about complimenting character traits or talents instead of just sticking to the more obvious things, this can also be a way for him to show that he has a crush on you.
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See if he tries to find out about your plans. Another sign that he has a crush on you is that he’s always asking what you’re up to over the weekend. He may really be asking because he wants to make sure that you’re not going on a date because he’s feeling jealous. He could also be asking as a way of asking you to hang out with him, or because he’s hoping that you’ll ask him to hang out with you. If he wants to know what you’re doing away from school, then it’s probably because he wants to be a part of it.
- He may just say something simple like, “Are you doing anything fun this weekend?” If you say you’re not, then he may use this as a good time to ask you to hang out. If he does that, then there’s a good chance he has a crush on you.
- Watch his face when he asks you what you’re up to over the weekend. If you say you’re hanging out with girlfriends, then you should see if there’s a noticeable relief on his face because you’re not hanging out with any boys.
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See if he opens up to you. If a boy has a crush on you, then he may open up to you about some of the stuff he’s been thinking and feeling. He could tell you about his favorite pet, his siblings, his friendships, or even his dreams for the future. If you find him telling you some things that seem personal, and if he even says something like, “I don’t tell many people this” or “Not a lot of people know that about me,” then it’s a sign that he thinks you’re special. If he has a crush on you, then he may open up to you more than he would to most people.
- If he doesn’t really open up to you, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like you. It just means that he’s a bit more shy.
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See if he laughs more around you. If the boy has a crush on you, then he may be more nervous around you than he would be around other girls. This may lead him to laugh a lot more around you than he normally would. He may laugh really hard at something you say that’s barely funny, or he may even laugh slightly at something you said that wasn’t meant to be funny at all.[9] The next time you’re together, pay attention to how much he laughs around you and see if he laughs more than normal. If so, then it may be because he has a crush on you.[10]
- Study him when he’s around other people. Is he just the type of guy who is always laughing, or does he laugh more around you? If his laughter is reserved for you, then it may be because he has a crush on you.
- You can also see if he always goes out of his way to make you laugh. If he seems to crack more jokes around you than anyone else, or if he just seems to try harder, then it may be because he has a crush on you.[11]
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Ways to Ask a Guy if He Likes You
Community Q&A
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QuestionIf he teases me a lot, does that mean he likes me?
Community AnswerConsider the context. Does he tease you about things lightly and playfully, touch you or seem nervous while he does it; or does he tease you about things in a hurtful manner, and doesn't stop when you ask him to? Playful teasing along with other signs of a crush may indicate he likes you, but hurtful teasing definitely doesn't. Keep in mind that if you two are friends, teasing may be a way of him joking around, and doesn't necessarily mean he likes you more than as a friend. -
QuestionHow do you tell the difference between someone who is just shy and someone who is nervous?
Community AnswerA shy person will be shy (and most likely quiet) around everybody, regardless of how they feel about them; if they're nervous, they'll only be nervous around certain things or people and may talk much more than usual. If you can't tell whether a guy is nervous or just shy, examine his interactions with other people. Does he show signs of anxiety (e.g. stuttering, looking away, or having shaky hands or sweaty palms) around everybody, or just when he's around you? If he only acts like that around you, it's more likely that he's nervous, which may mean he likes you. -
QuestionWhat if I don't like the boy who has a crush on me?
Community AnswerIf he's not actively trying to show you he's interested, then you may be able to get away with not bringing it up and just acting normally around him. On the other hand, if he's flirting, tells you he likes you, or asks you out, you'll need to gently (but firmly) turn him down and make it clear you're not interested. How to Reject Someone Nicely can help you figure out what to say - but whatever you do, be respectful and don't make fun of him, since rejection hurts and it's unkind to embarrass someone about it.
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Pay attention to how often he is with you and how close he gets to you as well as how much eye contact he offers. Many guys will do this as a subtle sign that they are attracted to you![12]Thanks
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If the guy and his friends see you, his friend might start nudging him, punching him in the shoulder, or giggling.Thanks
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It's been proven that when someone who likes you romantically looks at you, their pupils dilate.Thanks
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References
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201603/why-is-it-so-hard-tell-if-someone-likes-you
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/let-their-words-do-the-talking/201607/5-ways-tell-someone-likes-you
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/let-their-words-do-the-talking/201607/5-ways-tell-someone-likes-you
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201603/why-is-it-so-hard-tell-if-someone-likes-you
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/someone-likes-you/
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-bottom-line/201105/want-know-if-someone-likes-you
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/male-body-language/
About This Article
Dating Coach
This article was co-authored by John Keegan. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health. This article has been viewed 1,640,067 times.
Co-authors: 88
Updated: August 7, 2023
Views: 1,640,067
Categories: Crushes
Article SummaryX
If you want to know if a boy has a crush on you, pay attention to how he acts and what he says when you’re around. Notice if he ever tries to impress you, and especially if he looks your way when he does something cool or exciting. See if he asks to hang out with you regularly, and if likes sharing personal details with you. Compare the way he treats you to the way he treats other girls. If you think he’s trying to show off to you, get your attention, or be extra chivalrous to you, he might like you! For other telltale signs, like seeing if he likes you based on how often he texts you, read on!
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"This article helped a lot. Even though I already knew my crush liked my friend, and my friend liked him back, this still helped me to understand if anyone else liked me, or if my crush really did like me back. He doesn't, but I'm happy for my friend."..." more
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