Young Frankenstein (1974)
Marty Feldman: Igor
Photos
Quotes
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Igor : You know, I'll never forget my old dad. When these things would happen to him... the things he'd say to me.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : What did he say?
Igor : "What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don't you get out of there and give someone else a chance?"
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[Froederick and Igor are exhuming a dead criminal]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : What a filthy job.
Igor : Could be worse.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : How?
Igor : Could be raining.
[it starts to pour]
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Igor : Dr. Frankenstein...
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : "Fronkensteen."
Igor : You're putting me on.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : No, it's pronounced "Fronkensteen."
Igor : Do you also say "Froaderick"?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : No... "Frederick."
Igor : Well, why isn't it "Froaderick Fronkensteen"?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : It isn't; it's "Frederick Fronkensteen."
Igor : I see.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : You must be Igor.
[He pronounces it ee-gor]
Igor : No, it's pronounced "eye-gor."
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : But they told me it was "ee-gor."
Igor : Well, they were wrong then, weren't they?
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Igor : What is this?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Schwartzwalder Kirschtorte.
The Monster : [off-screen] MMMMMMM!
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Oh, do you like it? I'm not partial to desserts myself, but this is excellent.
Igor : Who are you talking to?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : To you. You just made a yummy sound, so I thought you liked the dessert.
Igor : I didn't make a yummy sound, I just asked you what it is.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : But you did. I just heard it.
Igor : It wasn't me.
Inga : It wasn't me.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Well, now look here. If it wasn't you, and it wasn't you...
[he asks himself]
The Monster : [off-camera] Mmmmmm!
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Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : [to Igor] Now that brain that you gave me. Was it Hans Delbruck's?
Igor : [pause, then] No.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Ah! Very good. Would you mind telling me whose brain I DID put in?
Igor : Then you won't be angry?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : I will NOT be angry.
Igor : Abby someone.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : [pause, then] Abby someone. Abby who?
Igor : Abby... Normal.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : [pause, then] Abby Normal?
Igor : I'm almost sure that was the name.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : [chuckles, then] Are you saying that I put an abnormal brain into a seven and a half foot long, fifty-four inch wide GORILLA?
[grabs Igor and starts throttling him]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Is that what you're telling me?
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Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : You know, I'm a rather brilliant surgeon. Perhaps I can help you with that hump.
Igor : What hump?
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Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : [Reading from his grandfathers' notebook] "As the minuteness of the parts formed a great hinderance to my speed, I resolved therefore to make a being of a gigantic stature."
[pause]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Of course. That would simplify everything.
Inga : In other vords: his veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Exactly.
Inga : He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : That goes without saying.
Inga : Voof.
Igor : He's going to be very popular.
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Inga : Werewolf!
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Werewolf?
Igor : There.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : What?
Igor : There, wolf. There, castle.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Why are you talking that way?
Igor : I thought you wanted to.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : No, I don't want to.
Igor : [shrugs] Suit yourself. I'm easy.
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Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Igor, help me with the bags.
Igor : [Imitating Groucho Marx] Soitenly. You take the blonde, I'll take the one in the toiben.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : I was talking about the luggage.
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Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Love is the only thing that can save this poor creature, and I am going to convince him that he is loved even at the cost of my own life. No matter what you hear in there, no matter how cruelly I beg you, no matter how terribly I may scream, do not open this door or you will undo everything I have worked for. Do you understand? Do not open this door.
Inga : Yes, Doctor.
Igor : Nice working with ya.
[Dr. Frederick Frankenstein goes into the room with The Monster. The Monster wakes up]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Let me out. Let me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. What's the matter with you people? I was joking! Don't you know a joke when you hear one? HA-HA-HA-HA. Jesus Christ, get me out of here! Open this goddamn door or I'll kick your rotten heads in! Mommy!
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[Frederick, Inga and Igor find an abandoned violin]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Well this explains the music.
Igor : It's still warm.
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Igor : [Peek back out from the castle's door] Blucher!
[Horses Whining]
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[after failing to bring the creature to life]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Nothing.
Inga : Oh, Doctor, I'm sorry.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : No. No. Be of good cheer. If science teaches us anything, it teaches us to accept our failures, as well as our successes, with quiet dignity and grace.
[starts beating up the creature]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Son of a bitch! Bastard! I'll get you for this! What did you do to me? What did you do to me.
Inga : Stop it! Stop that! Stop it! You'll kill him!
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : I don't want to live. I do not want to live.
Igor : Quiet dignity and grace
[rolls eyes]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Oh... mama...
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Igor : Wait Master, it might be dangerous... you go first.
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Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Damn your eyes.
Igor : [to camera] Too late.
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Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Are you ready?
Igor : Are you sure this is how they did it?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Yes! It's all written down in the notes! Now tie off the kites and hurry down as fast as you can!
Igor : What's the hurry?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : There's a possibility of electrocution! Do you understand?
[no answer, shouts]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : I said, there is a possibility of electrocution! Do you understand?
Igor : [suddenly appears next to Fredrick] I understand. I understand. Why are you shouting?
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Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Uh, you were sent by Herr Falkstein, weren't you?
Igor : Yes. My grandfather used to work for your grandfather.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : [Nervous laughter] How nice.
Igor : Of course the rates have gone up.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Of course, of course. I'm sure we'll get along splendidly.
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Igor : I heard the strangest music from the upstairs kitchen and I just... followed it down. Call it... a hunch. Ba-dum chi.
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Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : With such a specimen for a body, all we need now is an equally magnificant brain. You know what to do?
Igor : I have a pretty good idea.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : [pointing to Igor's hump] Good man. Didn't you, didn't you use to have that on the other side?
Igor : What?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Your, uh, oh nevermind.
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Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : STAND BACK, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! HE'S GOT A ROTTEN BRAIN!
Frau Blücher : It's not rotten! It's a good brain!
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : IT'S ROTTEN, I TELL YOU! ROTTEN!
The Monster : [lunging at Dr. Frankenstein] RRAAAAAAAA!
Igor : Ixnay on the ottenray.
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Igor : It's gonna be a long night. If you need any help with the girls, I'll be...
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Igor : Two nasty lookin' switches over there, but I'm not going to be the first.
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Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Eyegor.
Igor : Froadrick.
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Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Throw... the third switch!
Igor : [shocked] Not the *third switch*!
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Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Have all the preperations been made for the transference?
Inga : Yes, doctor.
Igor : Are you sure you want to go through with this?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : It's the only thing that can save him now.
Igor : You realize you're risking both your lives?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : [plays a sour note] Yes.
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Igor : Where are you going?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : To wash up. I've got to look normal.
[his bowtie pops open]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : We've all of us got to behave normally.
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[in Victor Frankenstein's laboratory]
Igor : [sings] I ain't got no body, and nobody cares for me. Yakka tak ta a yakka tak ta ha!
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Igor.
Igor : Froedrick.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : How did you get here?
Igor : Through the dumbwaiter.
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Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Well it seems as if our mysterious violinist has disa...
[sees something]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : puh.
Inga : Disa what?
Igor : -ppeared.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Shh.
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Igor : No... walk THIS way!
[the Doctor tries to walk with Igor's cane, then rolls his eyes when he realizes why Igor has the hump]
