Romance noun the pleasurable feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.

St Valentine’s Day noun 14 February, a day on which special greetings cards are sent to sweethearts or people to whom one is attracted.  Except in Japan……

Anyone who knows me may well know that in my very long list of things that I’m extremely cynical about, Valentine’s Day features prominently.  I can think of few things less romantic than buying overpriced tat for your partner on the exact day you are expected to.  Fortunately for me, any time I’ve been in a relationship over this nonsense of a day, it’s been with someone equally nonplussed by it.  Ok, so it might be that someone who looks up Wikipedia for his definition of romance shouldn’t be dishing out opinions on it so freely, but l like to think I know what it is all the same.

To give it some due credit, the tradition does actually stretch back to long before the days of big greetings cards companies marketing the hell out of it.  Apparently the tradition of writing a Valentine’s card or note actually stretches back to at least the 15th century in Europe (Thank you, History Channel), but though I can just about forgive someone for carrying on a centuries old tradition of romantic verse in amongst the bloated commercial nonsense, I reserve absolutely the right to mock anyone dumb enough to take their partner out for a “romantic” meal, only to be skinned for a marked up Valentine’s Day rip off charge on top of the usual tariff.

I can’t say for sure if the Japanese apply these cynical charges to bills on February 14th, but as you might expect, the Japanese do Valentine’s a little differently to everyone else.  Firstly, it is generally only women who are obligated to but gifts for men on Valentine’s day.  I say obligated very deliberately; on Monday, a female colleague explained that in addition to giving Honmei Choco (“True feelings chocolate”) to your man, Japanese women also give Giri Choco (“Obligation chocolate”) to male colleagues, teachers, friends and suchlike.

Any misogynists reading out there may be nodding and smiling at this apparent inequality, just as any feminists may be shaking their heads and frowning; but things are not that simple.  In Japan, things are never that simple.  This is a country that used to have 3 different currencies, for goodness sake.  Indeed, they actually had 3 separate currencies, used to buy different things.  For example, the coins that bought you rice in feudal Japan could not buy you soy sauce, and vice versa.  I’m not sure if any of them would have been legal tender for a Valentine’s card, in case you are wondering.  Anyway, as I hinted, it’s not all good news for the men, as the Japanese also have what is known as White Day one month later on March 14th.  On White Day, the Valentine’s favours are returned by the men, with gifts of 2 or 3 times the value received.  Exchanging gifts is a very important part of Japanese culture, which reflects the Japanese spirit of sharing and group harmony.

I think it’s time to let the men of Japan in on a secret.  As some readers will probably know, an alternative holiday has been popularised back west in recent years, which just happens to fall on White Day.  Anyone who hasn’t a clue what I am on about should google “March 14th” now.

So as I mentioned, teachers are often among those who receive gifts on Valentine’s, and so it was that I duly received one from some of my students today.  It was the last day of English lessons for the school year (the school year finished in March here in Japan) in one of my elementary schools, and I received a thank you card from each of my 6 regular classes, including the impressive heart shaped effort pictured below.  It’s custom to apologise when people show you kindness in Japan.  If my other schools do this for me I’ll have a lot of apologies to make between now and the end of term.

With all said and done, it’s left me with a little less cynicism in my heart, but Hallmark and Clinton Cards can still get to ****.

Andrew

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