Archive of Our Own ^beta

Jeongguk raises their shoulder up to their ear, pressing the phone harder into their cheek. It digs uncomfortably into their skin but they can’t really change much about that right now.

“Joon-ah, you know why I can’t take those classes,” they say, trying to keep the exhaustion out of their words.

“But it’s been your dream since you were a teen!” Namjoon argues on the other end of the line, his voice rising. Jeongguk suppresses a sigh, wiping crumbs from the counter while keeping an eye on the door to make sure no customers are coming inside. “Look, I get it. They cost money and your job doesn’t pay enough for it. But you know Yoongi and I would love to help you out.”

“Joonie-yah,” Jeongguk says again, “I’m not trying to get a business degree or go to college. It’s just voice acting classes. It’s really not that important.”

“Of course it’s important,” Namjoon replies, a soft tone mixing into his words. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Jeongguk takes the phone into their hand, letting their head hang low as they wash out the rag. The water is warm against their cold fingers, burning on all the dry spots that they have never really bothered to get any hand cream for. For a moment, they lean against the counter, letting the water run as they close their eyes and hold back another sigh. “Joon-ah, it’s not that easy and you know it.”

“But it could be, and you know that, too.” Silence follows Namjoon’s words and Jeongguk doesn’t know how to respond. The running tap is the only sound that can be heard, and Jeongguk turns it off in frustration, cocking their head to the side.

Just as they’re about to come up with something to say, the door to the shop opens, the bell above it making an obnoxiously loud sound. Jeongguk turns towards the customer, forcing a smile onto their lips.

“Hi, I’ll be with you in just a moment!” Then, holding the mic of the phone closer to their face again. “Joon-ah, I need to get back to work. I’ll come by later, we can talk then.”

They don’t wait for a response before they end the call, sliding their phone back into the pocket of their jeans. With another smile, Jeongguk looks at the customer again, stepping closer towards the cash register.

“Hi,” they say with a bright voice, letting their eyes fall over every part of the man’s face. He’s attractive, Jeongguk notices, his skin almost golden despite it only being early spring. It gives him a beautiful glow, one that Jeongguk finds difficult to look away from. “Do you already know what you’d like to order or do you still need a minute to decide?”

The customer in front of them meets Jeongguk’s gaze, the corners of his lips lifting up to mirror Jeongguk’s expression. “Hi. The sign outside says you got Matcha Lattes?”

“Oh, yes, we do! Would you like to order one?” Jeongguk asks, already typing the hot drink into the tablet in front of them.

The man nods enthusiastically, bringing one of his hands up to tuck a strand of brown hair behind his ear. The rings on his fingers shine in the light of the lamp above them, bright in contrast to the dark green blouse he’s wearing. It slips off his shoulder a bit as he puts his hand into the pocket of his beige pants, and Jeongguk can’t help but notice the tattoo on his shoulder, full of colour and soft lines. It’s just as beautiful as his face, making him even more attractive in Jeongguk’s eyes.

They force their gaze away from the exposed ink, looking at the customer’s face again. “Alrighty, one Matcha Latte for you. Anything else you’d like to get?”

The man hums, taking a look at the display case that’s separating them. There are still a lot of brownies and cakes in it, different kinds of donuts and cupcakes that haven’t been sold yet. Since the little cake shop only opened two hours ago though, it’s not all too surprising. They usually only sell out on the weekends, and it’s a Monday noon, only just past 12 PM.

Jeongguk still thinks the store would get a lot more customers if there were some tables and chairs around, but Seokjin, the owner and one of the main bakers, decided that dealing with customers and having to wait tables would be too much of an effort. So instead, he opted for a small but cute shop where you could only buy all the sweets and then immediately get out and continue your walk or take your food home with.

It has a nice touch to it, and Jeongguk actually even prefers not having to deal with customers the entire time they’re on a shift. No customer interaction lasts for more than a few minutes at most, and since business is slow most of the time, all of the employees work at peace and on their own. The only shifts that Jeongguk does share with a coworker is when they’re covering for one of the bakers’, spending half the night and the entire morning at the back of the shop to prepare all the cakes and donuts.

“Can I get one of those peanut strawberry donuts?” The man asks, his gaze lifting to meet Jeongguk’s again. “Or, no, wait, I think I’d rather get a simple chocolate cupcake. Or should I get both? Which one do you prefer?”

The struggle on the man’s face makes Jeongguk laugh lightly, their head tilting to the side. “Ah, that’s a difficult choice. I think both of them are really good. But if you’re looking for some sort of sweet dessert, I’d recommend you to go for the donut. It’s light and fluffy. The cupcake is a bit heavier and more filling.”

“Peanut strawberry donut it is then,” the man says, giving Jeongguk a bright smile. His eyes almost shine with it, and returning it comes naturally to Jeongguk, the need to fake it already gone. “How much is it?”

“With the Matcha Latte together that would be ₩7,000. Are you paying with cash or—”

“Cash, yes,” the customer immediately says, handing Jeongguk a few bills.

Jeongguk accepts them, their cold fingers brushing against warm ones. There is paint on the man’s nails, small flowers and cute emojis drawn onto them. Something about it makes Jeongguk’s heart flutter in their chest, a tingling feeling spreading through their stomach. This man has tattoos, a handsome face, a soothing voice, and wears nail polish. If Seokjin was here right now, he would tease Jeongguk for dealing with a customer who is just their type.

Jeongguk presses their lips together as they give the customer his change back, putting the donut into a box before walking over to the espresso machine to prepare the Matcha Latte. The man’s eyes follow them, and Jeongguk wonders what he’s thinking of them, and if those thoughts are similar to Jeongguk’s despite only exchanging a few sentences with one another so far.

For a moment, they think about writing their number down onto the sleeve of the cup, playing with the thought of adding a cute message and a question for a date. But then, they look at the customer again and decide against it, not wanting them to feel uncomfortable or weirded out by being hit on when all he wanted was to get a coffee and a sweet dessert. Instead, Jeongguk writes a simple have a nice day :) onto the cup before starting to prepare the actual drink.

“Are you working alone right now?” the customer asks, making Jeongguk halt in their movements for a second. The man notices his mistake quickly, his eyes widening. “Sorry, that sounded so creepy. I was just wondering because I’ve never seen someone work alone at a bakery before.”

“My coworker is in the back right now,” Jeongguk lies, preferring to play it safe even if they're kind of interested in the customer. It’s a question they get asked a lot, surprisingly, and it always makes them uncomfortable in the same way.

“Ah, yeah, that makes sense,” the man says, nodding to himself. Jeongguk fills the matcha into the cup before filling the stainless steel cup with milk, bringing it up to the steam wand. “I’m Hoseok, by the way. I just started working at the tattoo parlour down the street.”

“I’m Jeongguk,” they reply, giving the man, Hoseok, a smile. “I started working at this cake shop two years ago.”

It’s the last thing they say before steaming the milk, the loud noise of it filling up the entire store. The playlist Jeongguk put on is barely audible anymore, and they can see Hoseok wanting to say something before realizing that it’s too loud to be heard. As soon as Jeongguk is done, Hoseok speaks again, a smile on his face.

“It’s nice to meet you, Jeongguk-ssi. Maybe we’ll see each other again if I don’t get fired on the first day.”

The joke makes Jeongguk laugh. “Good luck with that.”

“Thank you,” Hoseok says, and Jeongguk can clearly hear the lightness in his voice. They respond to it with a smile of their own, putting a lid onto the Matcha Latte and sliding it over the counter towards Hoseok. “And thank you for the drink, Jeongguk-ssi.”

“No problem at all, Hoseok-ssi. I hope your first tattoo session will go well.”

“My first at this studio, not my first in general,” Hoseok responds. “I’ve been tattooing for more than eight years already.”

“That’s a long time, oh wow. I used to want to be a tattoo artist, too, but I’m not a particularly good artist,” Jeongguk chuckles. “It’s still fun to watch people tattoo, though. I think that’s my favourite part of getting one done on myself.”

Hoseok’s eyes widen slightly. “You like tattoos, too? You must know the parlour down the street, then?”

“Of course I do,” Jeongguk smiles. They step towards the sink again, turning on the tap to rinse out the stainless steel cup they used to steam the milk. “I walk past it every day on my way to work and back.”

“Ah, yeah, that makes sense.” Hoseok laughs quietly. His lips spread into a wide smile, his eyes crinkling around the edges. “Have you gotten tattooed there already? Do you know any of the artists there?”

“Oh, uh, no, sorry. None of the artists’ styles really speak to me. Lots of dotwork and traditional and realistic stuff.” Jeongguk shakes their head. “I’m more into blackwork, or colours. Some lineart here and there. That kind of stuff.”

“That’s what I do! Colours and blackwork I mean,” Hoseok says with excitement in his voice.

Jeongguk’s eyebrows lift up all on their own. Putting the clean cup aside, they lean against the counter again. “Do you have, like, an instagram or a portfolio or something? I’d love to see some of your stuff if you don’t mind showing me.”

“Yes, of course! I really need to leave soon or I’ll be late, but I can write it down for you.” Hoseok looks around the shop, and it takes Jeongguk a moment to realize that he’s looking for a pen and a piece of paper.

“Oh, here—” Jeongguk says, grabbing the two items from a drawer under the cash register. They slide them over the counter towards Hoseok, watching as he scribbles down an Instagram username and then, right under it, a phone number.

Jeongguk’s eyes find Hoseok’s face. There is a sheepish look in his gaze, a blush somewhere high on his cheeks. “If you ever want to schedule an appointment with me,” he says.

“Only if I want to schedule an appointment with you?” Jeongguk dares to ask, feeling blood rush into their face at their own boldness. They force their eyes to stay locked with Hoseok’s though, trying to calm their erratically beating heart.

Hoseok’s mouth lifts up into another smile, and something about it makes Jeongguk feel breathless. “That’s up to you.”

For a split second, Hoseok’s eyes fall onto Jeongguk’s lips. Their gazes meet again so quickly, however, that Jeongguk thinks they must have imagined it. Their tongue finds the ring in their bottom lip anyway, playing with it nervously as they watch Hoseok grab the donut box and the Matcha Latte, taking a few steps backwards.

“See you soon, Jeongguk-ssi,” he says, his eyes shining at Jeongguk.

“Yeah,” Jeongguk replies, raising their hand weakly to wave. “See you soon.”

With one last smile, Hoseok turns around and steps out of the shop.

“Yah, Jeongguk-ah, you forgot the hazelnut donut.”

“I didn’t forget shit, they were sold out by the time my shift ended,” Jeongguk responds, toeing off their shoes with Yoongi right in front of them. “And no, I will not put it aside next time. Tell Namjoon to come by himself if he really wants one. Or you can just take one with you after your next baking shift.”

“He’s a paying customer either way, what does it matter if you buy it for him or if he’s there to do it himself?” Yoongi asks, taking a simple chocolate cupcake out of the box. He barely gave Jeongguk a chance to fully enter the apartment before he took it out of their hands, the two of them still standing halfway in the door. “Thanks anyway, though. At least the cupcakes are also good.”

“Hey, everything we make is good! And now move, I want to sit down and breathe for a bit.” They put their boots in a row next to Yoongi’s and Namjoon’s shoes, a special place that’s always empty for them. “Today was so exhausting. I feel like I need to sleep for an entire day to make up for it.”

“What happened?” Yoongi asks, moving over to stand in the doorframe that leads to the living room.

Jeongguk closes the front door behind them and sighs, wiping over their forehead with the back of their wrist. “Nothing. Everything. Ugh.”

“Hey. What’s wrong, Gguk-ah?” Yoongi cups his hand around Jeongguk’s elbow, leading them to the couch in the living room. The two of them sit down, Jeongguk with their knees pulled up to their chest. “Did something happen?”

“No, no, don’t worry, it’s just—-” Jeongguk sighs again. “It’s just customers. Had so many weird interactions today of people telling me how to do my job, telling me servers don’t deserve tips anymore, people calling me a nice young man and it’s just so… It’s just the social dysphoria, I think. I don’t know.”

Yoongi puts the box full of sweets down onto the small table in front of them, turning sideways to be able to fully look at Jeongguk. He doesn’t say anything, waiting patiently for Jeongguk to continue.

“There was this cool guy today,” Jeongguk says, “or, like, I assume he’s a guy. I don’t know, I didn’t ask. He was attractive and he seemed nice and funny. I think he flirted a bit with me? Not real flirting, but he made comments about us seeing each other again and stuff, and he gave me his number but I’m pretty sure he perceived me as a man, and I don’t think he’d still be interested if he knew that I’m not.”

The words taste bitter on Jeongguk’s tongue and they hate that it’s even something they have to worry about. Of course there’s nothing wrong with people not wanting to date someone who’s basically genderless. But someone kind of hitting on them because they perceive Jeongguk as a man? That’s… rough. And exhausting. And it only makes Jeongguk get their hopes up for a moment before remembering that not everyone knows they’re genderqueer.

That moment—reality finally reaching them—is one that hurts every single time it happens. Whether it’s at a club on a night out with their friends or while they’re getting tattooed or talking to customers. The impact is always the same.

Jeongguk sighs, leaning their head back against the couch. “Ah, he was just a guy anyway. Cool and handsome and a fucking tattoo artist who has a smile that rivals the sun, but in the end, he’s just a guy. I shouldn’t feel so miserable about him.”

“You know just as well as me that this isn’t about him specifically but an ongoing issue that invalidates your gender and your gender expression,” Yoongi says and despite the words sounding harsh, his voice is soft and warm.

“I mean, he doesn’t know I’m genderqueer. And he also didn’t call me a man or offer that I call him Hyung. And technically, I’m also just assuming he’s a guy right now so, like, maybe I’m just a hypocrite.” Jeongguk shrugs absent-mindedly. They bring the tip of their pointer finger up to their lip piercing, pushing the ring through the tiny hole there repeatedly. “I don’t know. This is too much for my brain right now. When will Namjoonie be here? I told him I’d come over but I’m honestly tempted to invite myself into your bed and take a nap or something.”

“Mi case es tu casa,” Yoongi says, making an inviting gesture with his hand towards the bedroom. “And about the guy thing: If he doesn’t accept you being genderqueer, then he doesn’t deserve you anyway.”

“Ah, Yoongi-ssi, always so sweet and self-loving,” Jeongguk muses, giggling high in their throat when Yoongi shoves their knees with his hand.

“Yah,” Yoongi makes. “Don’t be a brat. I’m trying to help you.”

Jeongguk’s laughter weakens, a smile forming on their lips. “I know. Thank you. I’ll see what I do.”

“Alright. Just don’t overthink it, yeah? No person is worth that much struggle with yourself.”

“Got it,” Jeongguk says. A sigh leaves their lips as Yoongi gets up, the box of brownies and cupcakes still in his hand. Jeongguk watches Yoongi leave the living room and walk into the kitchen, putting some water into the kettle to prepare tea or coffee or whatever else he’s in the mood for right now.

It makes Jeongguk think of Hoseok again and the Matcha Latte he ordered. The subtle hint at flirting in his voice when he told Jeongguk it was up to them to decide whether they text or not. The bright smile on his face just before he left. The sweet voice telling them that they’ll see each other soon.

Jeongguk closes their eyes for a moment, exhaling slowly through their nose. Then, they get up as well, walking over to the kitchen to join Yoongi.

///

The next couple of days pass without Hoseok coming by the cake shop, and Jeongguk tells themself that it’s fine like this. It’s them who didn’t text Hoseok after asking if they were allowed to, so it makes sense for Hoseok to feel uncomfortable or maybe even rejected.

It’s a struggle, every day they walk past the tattoo shop, to not look into it and try to find Hoseok with their eyes. But somehow, Jeongguk manages to keep their gaze locked onto the ground every single time, avoiding the tattoo parlour as if it didn’t exist.

It’s exactly what they’re doing with Hoseok’s Instagram account, the piece of paper with the name scribbled onto it still somewhere in the pocket of their coat. They haven’t really found the courage yet to take a look at it, too scared to find hints of transphobia on it. Not that Jeongguk is trans—but if someone is against people being anything but the gender they were assigned at birth, then Jeongguk doesn’t want them in their life anyway.

Sometimes, fears like that seem irrational to them, a part of their brain telling them that the chances of someone plotting a hate crime against them for their gender identity being close to zero. But another part of their brain can’t help but be scared, worried that they’re just being too hopeful and optimistic. It’s a risk they’re not always willing to take, and thinking about Hoseok makes them question whether it’s worth it or not.

He didn’t seem like a queerphobic person when they met, but first impressions can always be misleading. Jeongguk has met countless people at work who seem to be one thing and then turned out to be the complete opposite. So Hoseok seeming like a nice and open-minded person doesn’t necessarily have to be who he truly is.

Thoughts like that have been buzzing around Jeongguk’s head ever since Hoseok first came in on Monday noon, and now, on Thursday evening, they wonder why they’re still spending so much time thinking about him. Yoongi told them not to overthink it, yet here they are, cleaning the espresso machine ten minutes before closing and wondering what their next step should be, or if there should even be a next step at all.

The bell on the door rings as a burst of cold air enters the shop, and Jeongguk has to suppress a shiver. With a smile already on their lips, and a greeting ready in their mouth, they take a step to the side and come eye to eye with none other than Hoseok, the words immediately dying on their tongue.

“Hoseok-ssi,” Jeongguk says, squeezing the rag they’re still holding in their hands. “Hi. What can I get for you?”

“Hey,” Hoseok says and unlike last time, he sounds shy and hesitant now. His hands are hidden in the pockets of his puffy jacket, a white shirt with a band name printed onto it just underneath it. A thin golden necklace is wrapped around his nape, hanging low over his chest. He looks good. Comfortable, and warm, and good, and Jeongguk wishes they could trail their hands over his exposed collarbones, move them under the fabric and feel the warmth against their own skin. “Uh, can I get a Matcha Latte and two Chai Lattes with a shot of espresso each?”

“Oh,” Jeongguk makes, fiddling with the rag in their hands. “I’m so sorry but the espresso machine is already cleaned and turned off. I can offer soft drinks though?”

“Ah, no, it’s fine, but thanks. My coworkers will have to live without it tonight, I guess.” Hoseok chuckles quietly but it sounds weak and dry, none of the brightness from a few days ago in it. “Can I get a chocolate cupcake, then? And, uh, one pistachio cookie and a piece of the cheesecake?”

“Of course,” Jeongguk says, typing the order into the tablet in front of them. Then, because they miss seeing a smile on Hoseok’s lips, “Are you on coffee duty or something?”

The words do make the corners of Hoseok’s mouth lift up, his head tilting to the side slightly. “No, not really. Just thought I’d do them a favour. They’re in the middle of a session and didn’t want to interrupt it so I thought I’d get them a little something on my way home.”

“It’s almost 8 PM and they’re still working?” Jeongguk’s eyebrows rise up, their hands grabbing for a box under the counter to fill the sweets into.

“Ah, yeah,” Hoseok says. He puts one of his hands on his nape, the rings on them catching Jeongguk’s eye briefly. “It’s more of a private session if that makes sense. They finally got together after crushing on each other for the past two years and they decided to be all cute and romantic and get matching tattoos. So now they’re tattooing each other after their last clients today left, so they’ll be in there for another two hours at least.”

“My friends also got matching tattoos when they finally made their relationship official,” Jeongguk laughs, thinking of Namjoon and Yoongi. “Just a small one though, near their ankles. They were inseparable for the first month or two, as if they hadn’t been fucking for at least a year at that point. They’re actually still sending heart eyes at each other every single day and it’s been three years by now.”

“Sounds like work is gonna be lots of fun from now on, then.” Hoseok’s smile is audible in his words, and Jeongguk glances up to see it, placing the tongs back onto the tray of cupcakes in front of them. “I guess it’s the official label that just kind of changes things. From friends to girlfriends after wanting it for so long. Makes sense for them to be so up in the clouds, I guess.”

“Yeah, I think so, too,” Jeongguk replies, forcing themself to ignore the flutter of their heart at the mention of girlfriends. Of course they know that Hoseok wouldn’t have slightly flirted with them if they were queerphobic but getting the confirmation feels good nonetheless.

They suppress a smile as they put the box onto the counter, folding the top of it down so that it’s closed. With one hand on the edge of the tablet, they lean against the bar, double-checking that they typed the order in correctly.

“You…” Hoseok starts, trailing off slowly. Jeongguk’s eyes find his, surprised to see a grimace of uncertainty and hesitation on Hoseok’s face. “Uh, you didn’t text…”

Jeongguk freezes, their breath getting stuck in their throat.

“I mean, you obviously don’t have to!” Hoseok immediately says, his voice rising a bit as if he couldn’t keep the words to himself. His hand rubs against his nape again, and Jeongguk thinks they see a slight tremor in the movement. A dry sigh leaves Hoseok’s throat, and his eyes fly over the counter for a moment before they settle back onto Jeongguk. “I was just—I thought I felt something there but I must have misinterpreted the signs or something. And I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable so if you’d like me to get my coffee somewhere else from now on then—”

“No,” Jeongguk interrupts, blood rushing into their cheeks as they force themself to keep looking at Hoseok. “No, I, uh… I was just unsure if you would really be interested or not.”

“Oh. Okay,” Hoseok says, pausing for a moment as if to process Jeongguk’s words properly. “May I know why?”

Jeongguk takes a shuddering breath, their fingers tightening their grip on the tablet and the counter. “I’m not really… a guy.”

Hoseok stays quiet, no part of his expression shifting to show a hint of what he might be thinking. Jeongguk wets their lips, swallowing audibly despite the loud music that’s playing from the speakers.

“I’m definitely not a woman either, though,” they continue slowly, hesitant and careful. “My pronouns are they and them in English, if that helps. Korean doesn’t really have gendered pronouns so there’s nothing I could change here to make it more gender-neutral but that doesn’t mean I’m a guy, and I guess I was just unsure if you’d still be interested. Since I’m not a man, I mean. I’m—not really anything of the sorts. It’s complicated.”

“Alright,” Hoseok says, nodding once, then again a second later and a third time just after that. “Well, I’m a cis guy but I’m not gay if that’s what you’re worried about. I don’t really do labels. But I think you’re cute and attractive and I really enjoyed talking to you last time I was here. And I’d really like a chance to get to know you better. If you also want that.”

Jeongguk stares at him, their eyes flying over every single centimetre of Hoseok’s face. There’s no hint of a lie on it, no trick or disgust or hatred. Only hesitation and hope, a flicker of the same want that Jeongguk noticed on Monday already.

With a deep inhale, Jeongguk nods, the tight knot that formed in their stomach loosening. “I do want that. I would love it, actually.”

“Alright,” Hoseok says again but this time there’s a smile on his face, relief evident in the way his shoulders drop, the tension finally leaving him. Confidence seems to seep back into his limbs, his back straightening. Jeongguk stares at him, their heart fluttering in their chest. “So I can look forward to a text from you tonight?”

“Or maybe we can skip that and go out after my shift? I should be out and done in thirty minutes.” Jeongguk can’t hide the shimmer of hope in their voice, but somehow they don’t even mind. Something about Hoseok makes them want to be open and vulnerable, and as frightening as it is, it’s also freeing.

Hoseok laughs quietly, his hands finding the counter, just a few centimetres away from Jeongguk. “I would love to. But I just finished a ten hour session. A huge back piece with lots of details. I’m so tired, I’m gonna pass out as soon as I’m in bed, and you deserve better than that.”

Jeongguk blushes so hard they can actually feel the warmth of their own cheeks in contrast to the rest of their face.

“Tomorrow though,” Hoseok continues. “Tomorrow I only have a session from 10 AM till 3:30 PM. I could pick you up after your shift?”

“My shift ends at 3:15 PM. How about I pick you up instead?” Jeongguk asks. It feels just as bold as when they asked Hoseok if they could text him for anything other than a tattoo request, and for some reason, it feels good.

Hoseok returns their smile, bright and warm. “It’s a date.”

That same night, Jeongguk lies in bed with their dog Bam cuddled up to their side, their phone in their hand as they finally find the courage to search for Hoseok’s Instagram account.

It’s exactly like most other tattoo artist’s accounts, full of pictures of people he put art on as well as his own designs that are still available. The name at the top has he/him right next to it, and Jeongguk wishes they had found the courage to look at it right after they met rather than waiting until now. Maybe it would have saved them some of the overthinking they did over the past couple days.

They scroll down to the feed slowly, looking at all the tattoos Hoseok has created. The most recent post, from just an hour ago, is of someone with their back turned to the camera, and based on what Hoseok said at the cake shop earlier, Jeongguk is pretty sure that’s the back piece he was talking about. It’s detailed, with lots of red and black ink, flawlessly decorating the person’s skin. It’s beautiful, and exactly something Jeongguk would’ve gotten tattooed as well if they had come up with it sooner.

Most other tattoos are just the same, blue and pink and green lines, some blackwork here and there, human figures as well as flowers and random items and lettering. It’s all kinds of different things yet they all have the same distinct and unique style to it that Jeongguk quickly starts recognizing as Hoseok.

They spend more time scrolling through his pictures and skipping through his story highlights than they’d like to admit, even ending up on the posts that he got tagged in at one point. Almost all of the pictures there are of people showing off the tattoos they got from him, but a few of them are also of Hoseok himself. Jeongguk clicks on the most recent one, posted on Monday by the tattoo parlour he just started working at.

It shows Hoseok together with who must be the other tattooists there. He’s wearing the same green blouse and beige pants Jeongguk already saw him in on Monday, and he has his arms around the two people standing next to him. There is a big smile on his face, his hair pulled away from his forehead with a pair of dark sunglasses. He looks good. Incredibly good, and Jeongguk can’t believe they’re actually going on a date with him tomorrow.

Somehow, the entire thing feels sort of surreal to them. A hot tattoo artist asked them out on a date. The thought almost makes them laugh out loud.

It’s not like it’s Jeongguk’s first date, not even their second or third one, and it’s also not like Jeongguk hasn’t been in a relationship before. It’s just that after their last relationship ended after they figured out more about their gender, they haven’t really found the courage to try again, too worried of getting invalidated or misgendered or simply not respected.

With Hoseok though—and the tagged posts of him at pride parades and at the beach with someone who has top surgery scars on their chest—things feel different. Or like they could be.

Jeongguk really hopes that they will be.

///

Throughout the entire morning, and during every single second of their shift, Jeongguk is so excited that it feels impossible to hide it. They’re obviously not doing a very good job at it either because both of their baker-coworkers tease them as they get the shop ready to open, as well as the coworker who comes in at 3 PM to take over the store for the rest of the day long after the bakers have left.

The excitement is like static running through their veins, a buzz accompanying every single beat of their heart. When they walk out of the cake shop at 3:17 PM it’s with a skip in their steps, their hands fiddling with their hair to make sure it looks good. They know that Hoseok has seen them twice already when they weren’t styled or wearing something that makes them look pretty, but somehow the urge to look good for their first date together is too strong to resist.

It’s with Namjoon’s and Yoongi’s advice that they put on a loose pair of blue jeans today, the rips on the knees showing off part of the tattoo they have on their right thigh. The black boots they are wearing make them a centimetre or two taller, and the black turtleneck hugging their chest and arms is accompanied by a silver necklace dangling down to just above their navel. They look good, and they also feel like it.

With their wallet in their hand, and a small bag hung over their back, Jeongguk steps into the flower shop that’s just a few stores away from the cake shop, greeting the old lady behind the counter with a warm smile on their face. Seokjin always buys tulips every week from her, putting them into a clear vase to decorate the counter at work with, so Jeongguk kind of knows her by now.

She recognizes them immediately, a confused expression on her face despite the smile on her lip. “Is it Monday already, Jeongguk-ah?”

“Ah, no, Hyejin-ssi, I’m not here to pick up flowers for the shop,” Jeongguk replies, slowly stepping up to the counter. “I, ah, wanted to get a flower for someone else today. Do you perhaps have sunflowers already? I know it’s technically not their season yet, but…”

“I’m sorry, Jeongguk-ah, sunflower season isn’t for another four to five months.” She gets up from the high stool she’s sitting on, walking carefully around the counter. “If it’s something yellow you’re looking for, I also have yellow roses and tulips. But if you want something for its meaning of happiness, then I have some daffodils for you right here.”

“Daffodils as in Narcissus?” Jeongguk questions. “Isn’t that flower more about selfishness?”

Hyejin laughs, picking one from a pot full of them. “Depends on the story and the colour. This orange one here stands for joy and enthusiasm. Isn’t that how you feel about this date of yours?”

“Ah, Hyejin-ssi,” Jeongguk says, a blush rising to their cheeks. “How did you know?”

“You only ever come in here if Seokjin sends you. And you look even more handsome than you usually do. Did you think that just because I’m an old woman I wouldn’t notice?” She walks back over to the cash register as she talks, putting the orange daffodil down onto the counter. “I think the young woman you’re taking out will be happy about this flower. Or man. Whatever you young people are up to today.”

Jeongguk chuckles quietly, pulling out a few bills from their wallet. “Thank you, Hyejin-ssi. I’m sure he’ll like it.”

“It’s on the house,” Hyejin says, pressing Jeongguk’s hand back towards their own body. “You can pay next time when you get a whole bouquet for the second date.”

“Hyejin-ssi—”

“Now go before you’re late, Jeongguk-ah,” she interrupts, turning around as if Jeongguk has left the shop already.

Jeongguk watches her for a second before they put the money away again, taking the flower off the counter. They bow to Hyejin even though she can’t see them, a smile on their lips. “Thank you, Hyejin-ssi. Have a nice day!”

They wait another second in case she wants to say something more before they finally leave, shoving their wallet into the pocket of their coat. With the flower in their hand, they walk down the street towards the tattoo shop, already spotting Hoseok right outside it.

He’s wearing the same jacket that he had on yesterday, a pair of black slacks underneath it. The chunky sneakers he’s wearing add to his height and his fingers are covered in rings again, holding his phone tightly in his hands. Jeongguk has to exhale deeply to calm the butterflies in their stomach, twisting the ring in their bottom lip as they walk up to Hoseok.

Hoseok must hear their footsteps because he raises his head, a smile immediately spreading across his face when their gazes meet. “Hello, gorgeous.”

“Hi,” Jeongguk responds, their cheeks heating up at the compliment. They come to a stop right in front of Hoseok, forcing their hand away from their lip piercing. “Ah, uhm, I got you this flower. It’s an orange daffodil. Uhm, Hyejin-ssi, the owner of the flower shop, said it stands for joy and enthusiasm. I hope you’re not allergic to them?”

“I’m not,” Hoseok says and Jeongguk watches as his smile turns softer. He puts his phone into his pocket and reaches out to accept the flower, his warm fingers brushing against Jeongguk’s cold ones. “Thank you, Jeongguk-ah. That’s really sweet of you.”

“Ah, it’s nothing much.” Jeongguk tilts their head to the side in a weak gesture of shaking it, their gaze falling down to their feet before they look up at Hoseok again. “Uhm, are you hungry? I doubt you had a proper lunch, so I thought we could eat something. Would you be up for that?”

“Food sounds amazing. What did you have in mind?” Hoseok breaks off most of the stem of the daffodil before tucking it behind his right ear, fixing his hair around it to make it more comfortable. It looks so beautiful that Jeongguk is tempted to snap a picture, wanting to keep this image in their mind forever. It makes Hoseok look soft and delicate, pretty in a way Jeongguk couldn’t have predicted. It’s beautiful.

“There’s a small ramen restaurant around the corner,” Jeongguk says. “More like a hole-in-the-wall thing. The best ramen I’ve ever eaten in my entire life. You up for it?”

“Lead the way.” Hoseok makes an inviting gesture with his hand and Jeongguk suppresses an amused huff, starting to walk into the right direction. Hoseok follows them easily, knocking his shoulder against Jeongguk’s. “So, you wanted to become a tattoo artist?”

“Oh, yeah,” Jeongguk laughs, “but I really wasn’t joking when I said I’m not a good artist. I can’t draw shit and I also wouldn’t just want to tattoo other people’s art all the time. Even if I could draw though I probably wouldn’t have done it. Not fucking it up is a huge responsibility and I don’t trust myself like that. You seem to be pretty good at it, though. When did you start?”

“When I was twenty,” Hoseok replies. His arm keeps brushing against Jeongguk’s while they walk, and they like it more than they thought they could. “Was training for, like, three years before that, though. I felt just the same as you in the beginning, that I would mess up a lot and that the responsibility would be too much for me to handle. But you get used to it, I think? I’m still worried about it a lot but I try to tell myself that my clients trust me so I need to trust myself as well.”

“That’s so cool. You’re so cool, Hoseok-ssi,” Jeongguk says in awe.

“No need to be so formal with me, Jeongguk-ah,” Hoseok says, smiling at Jeongguk. “We’re literally out on a date. You can speak comfortably with me.”

Jeongguk halts in their steps briefly, gnawing on their bottom lip with their teeth. “You wouldn’t mind me calling you Hoseok-ah? I’m twenty-five, and you’re, what, twenty-eight? I don’t want you to feel like I’m disrespecting you but Hyung or Oppa aren’t really… well, my thing.”

“I know that you’re neither a man nor a woman, Jeongguk-ah,” Hoseok responds kindly, no hint of judgment in his voice. “And I don’t mind that you’re three years younger than me. Being called Hoseok-ah is perfectly fine with me.”

“Alright,” Jeongguk breathes out. “Thank you, Hoseok-ah.”

The two of them finally come to a stop in front of a small ramen shop, Jeongguk immediately leading them into the line. It only takes a few minutes for it to be their turn, and Jeongguk lets Hoseok say his order first before they tell the cashier what they want, handing over the money as soon as the total is said out loud.

Hoseok argues with them over it, saying he’s older and should therefore pay. But Jeongguk disagrees, saying they’re the one who technically asked Hoseok out and therefore get to pay. Hoseok sighs and says he’ll take care of the bill next time, but it sounds so endeared that Jeongguk’s stomach tingles, heat rising up into their cheeks.

The two of them continue walking once they get their food, going wherever their feet carry them. Hoseok keeps talking about his job as a tattoo artist, telling Jeongguk about all the cool designs he has already done, all the wonderful people he has gotten to meet, all the fun sessions, and all the amazing experiences. Jeongguk listens attentively and excitedly, happy to find out more about Hoseok’s passion and love for his job.

He talks about how he started tattooing and that back then he never thought it would turn into something so big and something he would love to do for the rest of his life. Because what started as a simple hobby is now something Hoseok can’t imagine living without, something that gives him a purpose, something to look forward to and get excited about. It’s something that Hoseok loves more than anything else, and Jeongguk can hear it in every single word he says.

When Hoseok asks if the cake shop is something like that for Jeongguk, they shake their head with a laugh, almost choking on the ramen in their mouth. Once they have swallowed properly, they tell Hoseok about how it was always Seokjin’s dream to open a bakery, and how Jeongguk and Yoongi helped him through every step of it.

Working as a cashier and sometimes as a baker there was only meant to last for a month or two, something to help Seokjin out with in the beginning. But it’s fun, and it pays enough to live comfortably off, so Jeongguk doesn’t mind still doing those jobs. Seokjin wanted to promote them to assistant manager several times already but Jeongguk never really felt comfortable with the responsibility of it, letting Yoongi get that position instead.

Their dream though, Jeongguk tells Hoseok, is something completely different. Or at least it used to be. It’s something that didn’t really work out despite them yearning so much for it, so there might not be a point in trying after all.

Just as Hoseok is about to ask what exactly Jeongguk is talking about, raindrops begin to hit them. It starts slow and easy but gets intense very quickly, Hoseok cursing with his empty ramen box in his hand.

“Shit, I didn’t bring an umbrella with me,” he says as he drags Jeongguk with him, trying to fit the two of them under the awning of a small ice cream shop quickly. He takes Jeongguk’s empty food container and throws it into the trash can behind them with his own one. “You don’t happen to have one in that backpack of yours?”

“Nope, sorry,” Jeongguk chuckles. They step closer to Hoseok to get out of the rain completely, their shoes almost touching Hoseok’s. The rain is wet on their face, and they spot drops of it on Hoseok’s cheeks and forehead as well, some of them even clinging to his lips. Jeongguk’s gaze drops down to Hoseok’s mouth unwillingly, their breath getting caught in their throat.

“We can’t hide under here forever. The people working here are already staring at us.” Hoseok’s voice sounds rough with the drums of the raindrops around them, his lips moving quickly, softly. Jeongguk swallows audibly before they force their gaze back up to Hoseok’s eyes, watching as his gaze moves from the windows of the ice cream shop back to Jeongguk. “You think they might have an umbrella they’d be willing to sell us?”

“I doubt it,” Jeongguk says, a smile forming on their lips. “But there’s a public library on the other side of the street, right across from us. They have lots of sitting options and won’t kick us out if we’re quiet. Wanna go there?”

Hoseok’s eyes fall behind Jeongguk, probably trying to spot said library through the heavy rain. “Sure. Let’s run?”

Jeongguk laughs but agrees, and together the two of them try to get to the other side of the street, Hoseok shrieking as soon as the rain hits him again. It makes Jeongguk grin widely, and they hold the door of the library open for Hoseok, immediately following him inside.

The two of them are drenched from head to toe, but no one in the library looks at them as they try to suppress their giggles. Jeongguk’s eyes crinkle from how much they have to smile. With their hand cupped around Hoseok’s elbow, they lead him to the back of the library and straight into the section for picture books and children books.

“They have the comfiest beanbags here,” they say, nodding with their head towards a blue one in the corner. There are a bunch of stuffed animals next to it, a worn out giraffe and a frog that looks an awful lot like Kermit. “Come on, let’s sit down.”

Jeongguk shrugs off their wet coat and hangs it over the back of a small chair before dropping back into the beanbag, exhaling in relief. Hoseok smiles at them as he takes off his jacket as well, revealing an oversized black sweater underneath. Small red hearts are embroidered all over it, and Jeongguk wishes they could touch them, feel the thread against their fingers.

“Hoseok-ah,” Jeongguk says, patting the beanbag invitingly. “Come here.”

“Just a moment,” Hoseok says, holding up a finger. He stares at all the picture books around them, the small boxes near the ground so that children can access them easily. Then, he leans down and takes one of the picture books out of the row before joining Jeongguk, throwing himself halfway into their lap.

Heat rushes into Jeongguk’s cheeks, and tentatively, they lean against Hoseok’s side, their arms and legs touching. The butterflies in their stomach flutter back to life, and they drum their fingers against their own knee, averting their gaze shyly. It falls onto the picture book Hoseok picked from the box, The Very Hungry Caterpillar.

“Ah,” Jeongguk makes in excitement, “that one is so cute! Is it one of your favourites, too?”

Hoseok’s eyebrows furrow in confusion, and it takes him a moment to realize that Jeongguk is talking about the picture book in his lap. “Oh, no, I’ve never read it before. I only picked a book so that it’d seem like we’re here to read.”

“Do you wanna read it now?” Jeongguk asks. “It’s so cute. I even have socks with the caterpillar on them.”

The expression on Hoseok’s face smooths out, a smile forming on his lips. It’s small but soft, and full of warmth. Something about it makes Jeongguk’s heart skip a beat in their chest. “You wanna read it out to me?”

“Oh.” Jeongguk blushes, playing with the loose threads over their knee. “Yeah. Alright. I can do that.”

Hoseok opens the book for them, moving slightly so that his shoulder is leaning against Jeongguk’s chest, his ear close to Jeongguk’s mouth. Slowly, Jeongguk moves their arm from behind Hoseok over to his waist, trailing the tips of their fingers weakly over the fabric of his sweater. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah,” Hoseok breathes out softly. He presses Jeongguk’s hand closer to his body with his elbow, turning his head slightly so that he can rest his cheek on Jeongguk’s shoulder. “Read to me?”

With a shuddering breath, Jeongguk starts reading the words on the page, quiet enough for only Hoseok to hear. There aren’t any children around them right now, no parents or other people anywhere near the two of them. But Jeongguk stays close to a whisper anyway, shy and hesitant.

It takes them a couple of pages before they find the courage to be a bit louder, their thumb moving in circles over one of the hearts embroidered into Hoseok’s sweater. Towards the end of it, Jeongguk even starts to enjoy it, their voice naturally playing along to the words and sentences written on the pages.

Hoseok coos once it’s over, closing the book softly. “That really was cute. It’s so simple but so adorable. We should read another one.”

He doesn’t wait for a response before he gets up. Jeongguk immediately misses his warmth against their body, only now realizing how cold they feel without Hoseok pressed against their side. They force themself to stand up as well anyway, following Hoseok to the wooden boxes full of picture books.

The two of them barely speak as they flip through the books, exchanging a comment or two before taking one out and holding it in their hands so that they can read it together in a bit. A few minutes pass just like that and by the time the two of them have looked at every single cover at least once, they have collected more than thirty picture books.

Jeongguk sits down on the beanbag first again, moving their arm out of the way so that Hoseok can sit with his side pressed against Jeongguk again. This time, Hoseok even carefully throws one of his legs over Jeongguk’s, sitting stiffly for a moment before Jeongguk puts their hand onto his waist again.

They go through the selected picture books slowly, Jeongguk reading out every single one of them. Some of them are short and funny, made to teach children how to count or what different fruits are called and spelled like. Other ones are sad but cute at the same time, showing friendships and families and children who feel different but are deserving of love nonetheless. 

At one point, they read a book about a small penguin and its dreams in life, talking about all the various possibilities they have, all the passions they could go after. Hoseok laughs about most of them, and Jeongguk loves the way they can feel it with their hand on Hoseok’s stomach, his entire body shaking with it. His lips spread into a beautiful smile every single time, almost forming a heart with how wide it is, and Jeongguk wishes they could lean forward and feel it against their mouth.

“Ah, Jeongguk-ah, I never knew picture books could be so much fun,” Hoseok exhales giggly, his hand falling onto Jeongguk’s thigh, close to where the rips expose their skin. “You’re so good at all the voices and the emotions! Wow, you’re incredible.”

“Oh.” Jeongguk can feel the heat rising into their cheeks. “Thank you, Hoseok-ah.”

“Have you ever considered doing something like this? Professionally or for fun, I mean. Like a podcast! I’m sure other people and especially children would love to listen to you as well.”

The blush on Jeongguk’s face gets deeper, and they thumb over Hoseok’s sweater, averting their gaze. “Ah, I’m really not that good.”

“Don’t undermine yourself, Jeongguk-ah!” Hoseok exclaims, turning so that he can look at Jeongguk. Something about their expression must give away how much the compliment truly means to them because Hoseok sags against their side, a soft expression on his face. “Is this what you talked about earlier? Your dream that didn’t work out? Voice acting?”

Jeongguk swallows audibly, pursing their lips. “Yes. But that’s a story for another time.”

“Alright,” Hoseok says. His voice is low and soft. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t feel comfortable with it. Just—know that I think you’re amazing, okay? And that I really enjoyed listening to you.”

Jeongguk’s heart flutters in their chest, and hesitantly, they meet Hoseok’s eyes. There is nothing but sincerity in them, warm and safe. Jeongguk manages a small smile. “Thank you.”

Hoseok returns their smile, squeezing Jeongguk’s thigh weakly. Jeongguk presses their hand closer to Hoseok’s stomach, nuzzling their face into the side of his head. His hair smells faintly like vaseline and green soap, soft against Jeongguk’s skin. Hoseok makes a satisfied sound somewhere deep in his chest, and Jeongguk hides a smile in his hair.

They stay like that for a moment, only separating once an announcement echoes through the library, letting all visitors know that they’re about to close in fifteen minutes. Jeongguk sighs quietly, and together the two of them put all the picture books back before finally leaving. The rain has stopped by now and when Jeongguk checks their phone for the time, they realize that it’s almost 7:30 PM already.

“Oh wow,” they say, falling into step beside Hoseok. “We were in there for three hours.”

“Ah, time truly flies when you’re having fun.” Hoseok turns his head to beam at Jeongguk. Jeongguk can’t help but mirror his expression. In another moment of boldness, they find Hoseok’s hand with their own, lacing their fingers together tightly.

Hoseok’s skin is warm against theirs, soft and smooth, the complete opposite to Jeongguk’s cold and dry ones. Hoseok doesn’t seem to mind though, squeezing Jeongguk’s hand tightly. His thumb moves in circles over Jeongguk’s knuckles.

“Wanna go for a walk through the park?” Hoseok asks, his voice bright.

Jeongguk purses their lips, slowing their steps. “I would love to. But I have a dog, Bam, and I need to get home and feed him and take him out for a walk. Maybe—Maybe tomorrow though? I work till 8:30 PM though, so I get if that’s too late for you.”

“Not at all,” Hoseok says. “Can I pick you up after your shift?”

Jeongguk’s heart flutters in their chest. “I’d love that.”

“Amazing.” A smile lifts up the corners of Hoseok’s lips. “Can I lend you some company on your way home? Because I really enjoy spending time with you and I would love to have a few more minutes of that.”

“Asking so nicely will even get you thirty more minutes with me,” Jeongguk jokes, pulling Hoseok with them in the direction of the train station.

Hoseok follows them easily, and together, the two of them make it onto the train just in time, squeezing themself into the full wagon. Neither of them speak a word during the ride but Jeongguk realizes they don’t really mind. The silence between the two of them is comfortable. Jeongguk doesn’t feel the need to break it even after the two of them get off the train, walking slowly towards their street with their hand still in Hoseok’s.

It only takes the two of them a few minutes to reach Jeongguk’s apartment building, and they stop near Jeongguk’s door, standing close to a street light. Hoseok turns to stand in front of them, his shoes almost touching theirs with how close the two of them are.

Carefully, Jeongguk brings their empty hand up to the side of Hoseok’s face, slowly touching the petals of the orange daffodil behind his ear. They’re soft and pillowy against their skin but it’s nothing compared to the way Hoseok’s face feels against the tips of their fingers, smooth and warm. His cheeks appear almost red in the sunset, and Jeongguk can’t help but look at Hoseok’s lips again, stare at the pinkness of them, the light stubbles just above and underneath them.

Hesitantly, they move their thumb over Hoseok’s chin, drag the pad of their pointer finger up his jaw. Hoseok’s breath hitches, and Jeongguk can feel it against their hand.

“Jeongguk-ah,” Hoseok exhales quietly. Jeongguk forces their eyes away from Hoseok’s lips to look into his eyes instead. There’s an expression in them that Jeongguk can’t quite read, a mix of anticipation and want and nervousness. It makes Jeongguk’s heart flutter, their stomach feeling tight tight tight.

With their hand cupped against the side of Hoseok’s face, Jeongguk’s gaze drops down to Hoseok’s lips again. They take a deep breath, wondering what it feels like to have Hoseok inhale it right out of them again. “Hoseok-ah. Can I kiss you?”

Hoseok doesn’t reply. Instead, he leans forward and slots his lips right against Jeongguk’s.

For a moment, Jeongguk stands there frozen still, allowing themself to memorize the feeling of Hoseok against them like this. Then, they return the gentle pressure, moving their mouth slowly against Hoseok’s. His lips aren’t as soft as they look, a kind of dryness to them that Jeongguk can’t help but soothe with their tongue, exhaling deeply as Hoseok sighs contently against their mouth.

They separate for a split second only before their lips touch again, Hoseok putting his hand onto Jeongguk’s waist to pull them closer. The butterflies in Jeongguk’s stomach start fluttering around like crazy at that simple action, and Jeongguk can feel heat rise into their face again. They move their hand to hold Hoseok’s chin instead, opening their mouth to let Hoseok lick against the roof of it. The sensation tickles and they can’t help but giggle high in their throat, Hoseok matching their smile with one of his own.

Another satisfied sigh leaves Hoseok as he leans his forehead against Jeongguk’s, their breaths mingling softly. Jeongguk presses another kiss to the corner of Hoseok’s mouth before they put some space between the two of them, taking half a step back.

It’s only then that they realize that they had their eyes closed, and they open them again to look at Hoseok, meeting his gaze. There is a smile on Hoseok’s face, and he brings their entangled hands up to his mouth to leave a kiss on Jeongguk’s knuckles, causing Jeongguk’s heart to beat erratically in their chest.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Hoseok asks, a hint of hope in his voice.

Jeongguk smiles and leans forward to press a peck to the back of Hoseok’s hand as well. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Then, with their lips still tingling from the kiss, they force themself to let go of Hoseok and dig out their keys, unlocking the door to their apartment building. They turn around to smile one last time at Hoseok before they go inside, wishing it was tomorrow already.

///

“He’s perfect.”

Seokjin hums, continuing to lift Bam’s paws up and down as if he was dancing along to the music. Yoongi and Namjoon are sitting on the couch next to Jeongguk, Namjoon holding a book in one hand while Yoongi is applying red nail polish to the other one.

“He’s truly perfect,” Jeongguk says again, a groan following their words. “God, how can someone be so perfect.”

“No one is perfect,” Seokjin argues back teasingly, and Jeongguk would throw a pillow at him if he didn’t have Bam on his lap.

“I’m so serious. I’ve never met anyone as good as him.”

“Ouch,” Yoongi comments emotionlessly.

Namjoon chuckles and puts down his book, turning to look at Jeongguk. “You have a crush on him. It’s cute.”

“It feels like more than just a crush, though,” Jeongguk says, dragging a hand across their face. They tuck a strand of their dark hair behind their ear, remembering how just last night Hoseok did the same thing out on their walk in the park. “He’s so good, guys. He spent three hours reading pictures with me on Friday evening. It was our first date, and he didn’t mind at all! He even enjoyed it, I could tell that he was genuinely having fun. And he didn’t make any weird comments about my gender or ask what exactly it means and just—”

Jeongguk’s shoulders drop, their hands tucked between their knees. They’re wearing sweatpants now, but last night, in another pair of ripped jeans, Hoseok’s hand was right there on their skin, tracing their tattoos while they were sitting on a bench, letting Bam run over a field of grass freely.

“I like him so much,” Jeongguk quietly admits. “I like him so, so much and we only went on, like, two dates together. I saw him on Friday evening and last night as well, but I already want to see him again. I want to invite him over and cook him dinner, and watch him work on his drawings for tattoos, and kiss him with stupid morning breath, and fold his laundry, and go to Bam’s regular vet appointments with him and all that domestic shit. Is this normal? I have no idea if this is normal. It’s never felt like this before.”

“Ah, Jeonggukie-yah. Of course it’s normal to feel like that.” Seokjin nudges Jeongguk’s knees with Bam’s paw. “You two are dating, and you’re not one to do casual relationships. So yeah, you’re starting to develop feelings, and that’s not a bad thing.”

Jeongguk gnaws on their bottom lip, watching Yoongi apply nail polish to Namjoon’s pinky finger. “I’ve only known him for a week and I already feel like I’m head over heels. Am I going too fast?”

“It’s not too fast if it feels good and right,” Namjoon says.

Jeongguk lifts their gaze, looking at Namjoon. “We barely know each other.”

“Yeah, but every relationship starts like that.” Namjoon shrugs with his shoulders, Yoongi gently taking his other hand onto his thigh. “Friendships, partnerships, romantic relationships. You always start as strangers, you always need to get to know one another first. That’s how you create a bond and a relationship in the first place. And isn’t the only thing that matters how you feel while you do that, and how you feel while you’re with that person? If you’re happy, and Hoseok is happy, and things feel good and comfortable, then I’d say go for it.”

“Really?” Jeongguk breathes out.

“Really,” Namjoon smiles, encouraging in all the ways Jeongguk needs.

Jeongguk bites onto their bottom lip, nodding weakly. It’s weird but somehow things with Hoseok really do feel right. Good and right and safe. He treats Bam well, and listens to whatever Jeongguk wants to share with him. He smiles like the sun itself, and tells Jeongguk about whatever his mind comes to and everything that matters to him. He holds Jeongguk’s hands with care, and kisses them like they’re precious and wanted. And on top of all of that—

“He said I’d be a good voice actor.” Jeongguk stares at the ground as the words leave their throat. They can feel their friends’ eyes on them but decide to ignore it, tapping their pointer finger against the inside of their knee. “On Friday, when we read all those picture books together. I read them out loud to him and he said it was amazing. That I’m—incredible.”

Everyone is silent for a moment, and Jeongguk can feel their heart beat erratically inside their chest. It’s Yoongi who speaks then, his voice soft and low. “Did you tell him about it?”

“No,” Jeongguk immediately responds. “I didn’t. But it’s not a big deal anyway. It’s not like something bad ever happened, either. There isn’t really anything to talk about. You guys know there isn’t. But hearing him say he enjoyed listening to me was… nice. It made me feel good.”

“A lot more people would tell you that if you—”

“Not now, babe,” Yoongi interrupts Namjoon, and Jeongguk feels thankful for it. “I’m glad, Jeongguk-ah. That he supports that. And that you feel comfortable with him like that. He must be a great guy if you didn’t mind reading those picture books to him.”

Jeongguk presses their lips together tightly and nods. “He really is.”

///

Jeongguk finishes the little heart on the Matcha Latte, sliding the cup over the counter towards Hoseok. “Here you go.”

“Thank you, Jeongguk-ah,” Hoseok says, smiling down at the drink before he takes a sip. “Ready to go now?”

“Just one more thing,” Jeongguk says, washing out the steel mug before putting it to the side. They walk to the back of the shop, nod at their coworker and finally clock out, putting on their coat and slinging their bag over their shoulder. Then, they take the dark pink carnation off the desk where they placed it earlier this morning, break off half of the stem, and walk back to the front of the shop, coming to a halt next to Hoseok. Gently, they tuck it behind Hoseok’s ear, smiling as Hoseok’s cheeks turn red. “Now I’m ready.”

“Ah, Jeongguk-ah,” Hoseok murmurs, rubbing his nape again. “What kind of flower is it this time?”

“A pink carnation,” Jeongguk admits.

“And what does it mean?”

Now it’s Jeongguk’s turn to blush, and they avert their gaze, wetting their lips. “That’s not important right now. We should go, right? Where are we going anyway?”

“Come on,” Hoseok laughs, taking Jeongguk’s hand into his own one. He softly pulls Jeongguk along with himself out of the cake shop and towards the train station, his fingers still so incredibly warm against Jeongguk’s. “I’m taking you to my favourite record store. And I thought afterwards we could get some dinner. You up for it?”

“Another afternoon and evening with you? Of course I’m up for it.” Jeongguk pulls their entangled hands up to their mouth and presses a kiss against Hoseok’s knuckles.

“Are you even into records?” Hoseok asks.

“I’m not not into them,” Jeongguk says, grinning when Hoseok weakly bumps his elbow into their side. “I love music but I don’t have a CD player or a record player so there hasn’t ever really been a point in buying a physical version of an album. I’d still love to check it out though. And you having a favourite record store means that you must have a record player at home, right? Do you have an entire collection of vinyls?”

“Something like that.” Hoseok smiles.

“Oh wow.” Jeongguk’s eyes widen as they take in the size of the record shop, all the boxes and shelves full of vinyls. They cover almost every wall and almost every metre of the floor, just enough space left between them for people to somewhat be able to walk around. “That’s. A lot.”

“My apartment looks similar to this,” Hoseok laughs. “You could say music is my second passion, right after tattooing. I have more vinyls than I can remember to count.”

“That’s… That’s really cute.” Jeongguk turns to look at Hoseok, a fond expression taking over their face.

Hoseok’s eyes widen. “Yah! Since when is buying lots of records cute?”

“I don’t know, since you started doing it?” Jeongguk smiles. They lean against Hoseok’s side, adjusting the flower behind his ear. Hoseok stares at them in a mix of confusion and amusement, the corners of his lips slightly rising. “Show me your favourites?”

The smile on Hoseok’s face widens, and excitedly, he drags Jeongguk towards some labeled boxes, bending down slightly to flip through them. He pulls out some of them, reading the album title and artist name out loud to them before explaining when he got it and why he got it. Jeongguk knows some of the albums already, a band name here or there. But most of the records are completely new to them and Jeongguk tells Hoseok about how they can’t wait to listen to all the new music together with him.

Hoseok’s lips spread into a beautiful heart at that, and he puts his arms around Jeongguk, pressing a quick peck to their lips. Jeongguk’s cheeks turn red immediately, and they avert their gaze, scratching their nose in an attempt to hide how flustered they are. Hoseok notices it anyway of course and giggles at them, taking their hand into his to leave a kiss on the side of their thumb.

Jeongguk presses their lips together and huffs out through their nose, their heart fluttering as if it grew wings. “If you don’t stop, I’m gonna look like a fucking tomato for the rest of the evening.”

“You’re a cute tomato,” Hoseok says. “A cherry tomato. I like you like this.”

Jeongguk pushes their elbow weakly into Hoseok’s stomach, playful and teasing. Hoseok pecks their hand again and leads them over to another section, continuing with some foreign musicians. There are French and German singers Jeongguk recognizes, as well as a bunch of American and British ones that Jeongguk has never heard of.

They move over to indie rock and post rock after that, heavy metal and rap, pop and hip hop. Hoseok has a few albums from every single genre, even picking out new ones that he wants to buy today. Jeongguk can only watch fondly, their eyes glued to Hoseok the entire time. It’s endearing to see all the excitement in Hoseok’s eyes and on his face, and Jeongguk wishes they could buy the entire store just to see Hoseok smile and laugh forever.

Sooner or later, though, they have made their way throughout the entire shop, and there is nothing left for Jeongguk to see. Hoseok has five records in his arms that he wants to buy, and Jeongguk playfully argues with him over being allowed to pay for half of them, wanting to gift Hoseok whatever will make him happy. Hoseok only agrees with the demand that he gets to be the one to pay for their dinner, and Jeongguk only says yes because it makes Hoseok nuzzle up to their side, his nose pressed into Jeongguk’s hair.

“Mh, you smell like raspberries,” he says, inhaling deeply. “Is that your perfume?”

“It’s my shampoo,” Jeongguk laughs as they lead Hoseok out of the store with them. “Why? Do you like it?”

“I love it. I always smell like green soap and vaseline because of work. It’s like the smell just clings to me wherever I go.” Hoseok purses his lips, taking Jeongguk’s hand into his own again.

Jeongguk laces their fingers between his. “Yeah, I smelled it back in the library. It smells clean and calming. I like it.”

“You do?” Hoseok asks, and Jeongguk nods. “My ex used to hate it. Always made me shower as soon as I came into his apartment, wouldn’t even let me onto the fucking couch before that.”

“Well, good thing I’m not your ex, then,” Jeongguk says, feeling a strange kind of urge to protect Hoseok from people like that. 

“Yeah, good indeed.” Hoseok exhales with a hum, turning his face left and right to take a look at the street. “There’s usually a food truck around the corner, near a small park. What do you say? Should we eat some greasy chicken wings dipped in hot sauce and get all messy and dirty?”

“Ew, why would you say it like that?” Jeongguk fake-gags. “Disgusting. Absolutely horrendous.”

“Come on,” Hoseok laughs and Jeongguk follows blindly.

It only takes the two of them a minute to reach the food truck and since there’s no line in front of them, they get their food quickly. There’s steam rising from it, the box as big as Jeongguk’s head. Hoseok only smiles at them as he leads them to a bench in the park, taking a seat with the chicken carefully in his lap.

The two of them start eating almost immediately, digging into the food as if it’s their last meal on earth. It’s the messiest Jeongguk has ever eaten, their wrists dripping with oil and sauce before they’re done with the first piece. Hoseok looks just the same, and Jeongguk laughs at him, endeared and amused at the same time.

They take a few breaks here and there to continue talking, Jeongguk telling Hoseok about their friends and how the three of them are basically like a family to them. Hoseok listens attentively and throws so many comments in that Jeongguk can practically feel how much he truly cares and wants to get to know them, and it makes their chest feel warm, the butterflies in their stomach coming back to life.

Hoseok tells Jeongguk about his best friends as well, two people who he has known since high school. Jeongguk finds out that the trans guy he saw in Hoseok’s tagged posts on Instagram is called Taehyung, and that he’s one of the tattoo artists from the parlour Hoseok now works at. The other one is called Jimin, an androgynous and agender model that Jeongguk has seen on billboards all around the city already. 

“She teased me for hours when she found out I was going on a date with someone,” Hoseok whines, wiping oil away from his mouth with the back of his hand. “Said she could see how much effort I was putting into my outfit that day and that it was finally time for me to go out with someone again. It was horrible, Taehyung even joined even though he’s usually more laid back and calm.”

“Yoongi also teased me when he helped me pick out my outfit. He has this way of doing it lovingly, though, and he only wants me to be happy, so it’s difficult to feel genuinely offended at it,” Jeongguk laughs.

“God, I wish Jiminie was like that,” Hoseok says but it’s evident in his voice that he doesn’t actually mean it. “She always sounds so mean when she teases me. But I know that deep down she also just cares about my happiness. And if I ever told her to stop, she would never say a word about it again. Fuck, she’s amazing. She and Tae both are. They’ve been together for a decade, some crazy soulmate thing. It’s amazing.”

“It also sounds amazing.” Jeongguk drops their hands down into their lap, keeping everything above their wrists away from their pants so as not to stain them. They imagine themself and Hoseok like that ten years from now, still together and still happy. It’s a nice picture, and they find themself smiling at it, hoping that one day it might become real.

Then, they realize what they just thought about and blink, pulling themself back into the current moment. Imagining a future with Hoseok on their third date? That’s—That’s a lot. That’s truly and genuinely a lot, and Jeongguk doesn’t know how to feel about it.

“Hey, ah, I got a question actually,” Hoseok suddenly says. “Now that we’re already talking about our friends.”

“What is it?” Jeongguk asks, their eyebrows furrowing.

“Ah, well. I want to tell my friends about you. Properly, I mean, and not just as ‘someone I’m going out with’.” He puts air quotes around the last part of his sentence, meeting Jeongguk’s gaze. “But I don’t know if you’d be okay with me basically outing you to them? But I also obviously didn’t want to misgender you so I sort of kept it vague until now.”

Jeongguk stares at him wordlessly, their brain needing a moment to fully process Hoseok’s words. Then, once they understand the meaning of them, warmth spreads through their chest, traveling all the way down into their stomach and the tips of their fingers.

“Hoseok-ah,” they breathe out softly. “Of course you can tell them. Thank you for asking, but of course you can. I only ever hide my gender identity when I feel like it’s not safe for me to be honest about it but your friends are people you trust, and I trust you. Even if they weren’t trans and agender, I would trust that you’d never be friends with people who wouldn’t accept and support non-cis people. I’m safe with you, and I know I’ll be safe with them, too. So, yes, Hoseok-ah, you can tell them all about me comfortably.”

Hoseok nods weakly, the corners of his mouth lifting up slightly. “Alright. Thank you, Jeongguk-ah.”

“Thank you for being so considerate and sweet,” Jeongguk says honestly. They hesitate for a moment but decide to take Hoseok’s hand into their own anyway. It’s just as sticky and greasy as Jeongguk’s but neither of them seem to mind. “Now let’s finish this so that I can take you home, alright?”

“You wanna get rid of me already?” Hoseok asks, clutching a hand to his chest in fake-offense. “And I thought what we had was special.”

“Yah,” Jeongguk exclaims, shoving Hoseok weakly. “It’s past  9 PM already and you have a tattoo appointment at eight in the morning, you need to get home and sleep. Don’t neglect your health for my sake.”

“Alright, alright, no need to attack me,” Hoseok laughs, grabbing one of the last few pieces of chicken from the box. Jeongguk grabs another one, smiling as they stuff their mouth full of it.

It doesn’t take the two of them much longer to empty the box completely, both of them so full that they can barely breathe. They stop by a convenience store on the way to the train station, buying some wet wipes to clean their hands and faces with. They sit next to each other on the subway after that, their legs touching and their shoulders constantly brushing against one another. Hoseok holds one of his wireless headphones out for Jeongguk, and they accept it without hesitation, putting it into their ear to listen to Hoseok’s music together with him.

Once they get off the train, it’s up to Hoseok to lead the way. The walk to his apartment building is a short one, and before Jeongguk realizes it, the two of them come to a stop, Hoseok’s hand squeezing theirs tightly.

“Thank you for another fun evening,” Hoseok says, a soft smile decorating his face.

“You’re thanking me for doing something I enjoy?” Jeongguk asks with a laugh. “I had just as much fun as you, Hoseok-ah. I already can’t wait to see you again and you’re still right in front of me.”

“Ah, that’s my charm. I’ve got you all wrapped around my little finger.” The words are said teasingly but Jeongguk can’t help but think about how much truth there is to them. They have never been so enamored and into someone before, have never felt so safe and comfortable with someone they were dating. It’s like a whole new world has opened up to them, all inside of Hoseok’s big and warm heart, and they don’t think they’ll ever get enough of it.

“Can I kiss you?” Jeongguk asks and before the question is even fully out of their mouth, Hoseok’s lips are on theirs, soft yet longing.

Jeongguk returns the kiss immediately, putting a hand onto Hoseok’s waist to pull him closer. He tastes like chicken and faintly of wet wipes, and Jeongguk is sure they must taste just the same. They don’t really care, though, and neither does Hoseok, apparently, relaxing against Jeongguk’s body.

Their free hand finds Hoseok’s face, cupping their palm around his jaw, the tips of their fingers on his neck and up in his hair. Hoseok sighs against their mouth, prodding at Jeongguk’s lips with his tongue. Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate for even a moment before parting them, inhaling forcibly through their nose. Their heart is beating erratically inside of their chest, thumping against their ribs in a way that feels like it’s going to jump out any second. The butterflies in their stomach fly into all kinds of directions when Hoseok sucks on their tongue, and they can’t hold back a pleased sound, tilting their head for more.

Hoseok separates from them for a moment and it’s enough to make Jeongguk whine high in their throat. It gets them a deep chuckle from Hoseok, the sound causing something in Jeongguk’s belly to tighten. With more vigor, they dive back into the kiss, pulling Hoseok as close to them as possible.

Hoseok’s hands begin to wander at that, following the lines of Jeongguk’s stomach over their shirt up to their chest before trailing higher to their nape. His fingers tighten around the short hairs at the back of their head and it forces a high-pitched moan out of Jeongguk. Their cheeks heat up in embarrassment but Hoseok only kisses them in response, tugging at their hair again.

This time, Jeongguk gasps against his mouth, losing themself in the delicious pain of it. Hoseok exhales against their lips before licking into their mouth again, squirming with the lack of air.

“Come up with me?” he asks quickly, leaving Jeongguk no room to respond before he kisses them again, just as enthusiastic as before. Jeongguk pants breathlessly, forcing themself to pull away slightly.

“Can’t,” they breathe out between kisses. “Work.”

“Fuck work,” Hoseok murmurs and Jeongguk laughs against his mouth, slowing the kisses down to something deeper, something softer. Hoseok matches the new pace leisurely, swiping his thumb back and forth just underneath Jeongguk’s jaw. He smooths out the hair at the back of Jeongguk’s nape that he tugged on, drags one of his hands back down to Jeongguk’s chest. It rests right above their wildly beating heart. “No, you’re right. Fuck, I hate that you’re right.”

Jeongguk chuckles again, pressing a peck to Hoseok’s lips and then the corner of his mouth, down to his jaw and the side of his neck. They nuzzle into the soft skin there, breathing in Hoseok’s calming smell. “Next time we can. But tonight you and I need to rest. Alright?”

“Alright,” Hoseok responds, nodding weakly. Jeongguk leaves another kiss on Hoseok’s collarbone, forcing themself to finally put some space between them again. “Alright, yeah, we both need to sleep. God. You’re awful, do you know that? Kissing me like crazy and then telling me to rest. I can’t believe I willingly went on a date with you.”

“Shut up,” Jeongguk laughs, tasting Hoseok’s giggles on their tongue with another deep kiss. When the two of them separate again, Jeongguk makes sure to adjust the carnation that’s still tucked behind Hoseok’s ear, softly trailing their fingers down his face to his jaw. “Tell me how the appointment goes tomorrow, alright?”

“I’m just getting my knee tattooed,” Hoseok says quietly. “No biggie.”

“If you say so.” A smile forms on Jeongguk’s lips and they can’t help but lean in for another kiss.

Hoseok hums against their mouth and laughs as the two of them part, taking one of Jeongguk’s hand into his own to press a gentle peck against their dry knuckles. “Text me once you’re home?”

“Of course,” Jeongguk says softly. “Sleep well, yeah? And eat a nice breakfast in the morning. You need to be in a good state for the appointment, alright?”

“Will do, baby.” With one last kiss to Jeongguk’s lips, Hoseok finally lets go of them completely, a big smile on his face as he turns around to walk up to the front door of the apartment complex. Jeongguk watches him until he’s completely out of sight, walking up the stairs inside the building. Then, they put their hands into the pockets of their coat and sigh, already missing Hoseok’s warm body pressed against their own.

///

Next time doesn’t really turn out to be the next time they see each other. Not even the time after that, or the one after that, or any of the other times within the next week or two that they spend together.

They go on dates in the morning before Jeongguk’s shifts and go on other dates in the evening after Hoseok’s appointments. Hoseok visits Jeongguk at work whenever he has a small break between clients, pressing a kiss to Jeongguk’s outstretched hands and allowing them to make a Matcha Latte for him. Jeongguk stops by the tattoo parlour on their way to the train station, bringing Hoseok a brownie or a donut and whatever flower they got their hands on before finally leaving.

Sometimes it’s a dark pink carnation again. Other times it’s a red chrysanthemum, a white dittany, or a simple orange daffodil again. But every time the two of them see each other, no matter if it’s for a date or a simple hello and a kiss, Jeongguk brings him a flower, each one of them with their own special meaning.

March turns into April like that, and the days are getting longer and warmer. They go on walks at night together with Bam, making out on park benches like hormonal teenagers, lying down on the grass to count the stars. They go on library dates and read picture books again, go to bookstores afterwards to buy some of them, and eat cheap food with good quality. They laugh, and talk, and get to know one another in a way that feels like they have known each other for an eternity already, and Jeongguk feels like they won’t ever get enough of it.

Hoseok is kind, and sweet, and caring. He’s funny and attentive, and every moment spent with him warms Jeongguk up from the inside, their heart coming closer and closer to jumping out of their chest and straight into his hands instead. Because Hoseok is just so—good. And he’s everything Jeongguk never knew they wanted and needed.

He buys hand cream for Jeongguk’s dry hands and makes sure to apply it for them whenever they say it’s useless anyway. He shares his music with them on the train and on walks, talks about the origin of the musicians and how wonderful it was to see the band live during a festival. He surprises Jeongguk with picture books he read in his free time, excited to share it with them and read it with them. He accepts Jeongguk’s home-cooked meals in big lunch boxes with a flustered smile and a kiss of gratitude, reluctantly going back to tattooing his clients. And he picks Jeongguk up after work and takes them home even if he finished his last session of the day hours earlier.

It’s almost ridiculous, especially because they only started dating merely a month ago, but Jeongguk feels like they are head over heels in love with him already, or at least very close to it. They have never felt like this so quickly for anyone before, and none of their previous relationship can compare to what being with Hoseok feels like. Everything is different with him. Good, and light, and warm. And Jeongguk hopes it’ll stay like that forever.

///

“Welcome to my humble abode,” Hoseok says as he opens the door for the both of them, kicking his shoes off before he’s even inside the apartment.

Jeongguk takes their boots off as well, copying Hoseok when they pick them up and leave them on the shoe rack right next to Hoseok’s. Black Doc Martens and Chunky Snoopy sneakers. Jeongguk loves the sight of it.

“Make yourself comfortable,” Hoseok says, pressing a gentle kiss to Jeongguk’s lips. Then, he takes off his jacket, a thinner and shorter version of the puffy one he used to wear up to a week ago. “And I really mean that. I want you to feel at home here, okay?”

“I know, Hoseokie-yah. Thank you.” Jeongguk pecks his cheek before they, too, take off their coat, hanging it up next to Hoseok’s. Once their hands are free again, they put their arms around Hoseok’s waist, rest their forehead against his soft neck. “You’re so warm.”

“Yeah? Are you still feeling cold? Come on, let’s lie down on the couch with a blanket. Your hands are still freezing,” Hoseok comments softly.

Jeongguk chuckles quietly, the sound turning into a groan quickly. “My hands are always cold. Fuck if I know why. But the couch and a blanket sound amazing right now.”

“Come on,” Hoseok repeats, leading Jeongguk to the living room. They waddle through the hallway like penguins, Jeongguk refusing to let go of Hoseok for even a second. It’s only once they’re in front of the couch that Jeongguk is willing to separate from him, halting in their movements when they finally take in the room around them.

“Is that a jeans couch?” Jeongguk asks. “Hoseok-ah, you have a jouch?”

“My friends gifted it to me as a joke when I moved in and I never saw a reason to buy a new couch when I have a perfectly usable one right here,” Hoseok says, shrugging.

Jeongguk looks at him in fake-disgust. “A jouch, Hoseok-ah. You have a jouch. Oh God. And I’m supposed to lie on it? That’s like lying on a bunch of jeans!”

“It’s not!” Hoseok laughs, jabbing his finger into Jeongguk’s side. Jeongguk shrieks, giggling when Hoseok does it again. “It’s really soft and smooth! At least try it out before you judge it.”

Hoseok pokes Jeongguk again, and Jeongguk laughs, trying to catch his hands between their fingers. “Okay, okay! I got it, the jouch is holy to you! I got it, ah, Hoseok-ah!”

“You’ll learn to love it eventually,” Hoseok says. He pecks Jeongguk’s lips and drags them over to the couch properly. Jeongguk can’t suppress the smile on their lips when they lie down on it, pulling Hoseok on top of them. He lies down easily, slotting one of his legs between Jeongguk’s, threading his hand through Jeongguk’s hair. “Hey, pretty.”

“Hey yourself,” Jeongguk replies, putting their arms around Hoseok’s waist. HIs body is pressed against theirs like this, a warm and comfortable weight. Jeongguk drags their fingers up and down Hoseok’s back, feeling the dips and nubs of his spine against their hand. It’s relaxing and soothing, and they breathe out in relief.

They just finished an eleven-hour shift, covering for their coworker who was supposed to work the afternoon shift. It’s the third day in a row that they worked all day long, and they had to cancel on Hoseok twice already. Hoseok still came over during his lunch break, spending fifteen minutes stealing kisses from Jeongguk and pretending to be busy drinking his Matcha Latte whenever another customer came in.

He surprised Jeongguk this evening by picking them up again, offering to take them home with him. It didn’t take much to convince Jeongguk to say yes, the promise of cuddles enough for them to send Namjoon a text asking if he could take Bam to his and Yoongi’s apartment after taking him out for a walk. And now, finally, Jeongguk can just lie down and breathe without customers constantly interrupting them, Hoseok’s body pressing them down into the couch just right.

“Hey,” Hoseok says quietly, dragging his short fingernails over Jeongguk’s scalp. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Jeongguk exhales slowly. They tilt their head back, pressing their lips against Hoseok’s for a brief moment. “Just, you know, exhausted. ‘s nice like this, though. You’re comfy.”

“I’m glad,” Hoseok whispers, kissing Jeongguk softly. Their eyes fall closed, one of their hands lifting up to cup around Hoseok’s neck. Hoseok smiles, his lips separating from Jeongguk’s. “You should rest. It’s been a few long days for you.”

Jeongguk groans, opening their eyes slightly. “Keep kissing me?”

“Only because you asked so nicely,” Hoseok laughs quietly, leaning down again to connect their lips. Jeongguk immediately closes their eyes again, sighing into the kiss. It feels good to have Hoseok like this, their bodies almost melting into one.

Another content exhale leaves Jeongguk, and when Hoseok puts one of his hands against Jeongguk’s face, they can’t help but part their lips, licking into Hoseok’s mouth slowly. Hoseok meets their tongue and tugs on their hair again, light and testing. It drags a keening sound out of Jeongguk and they dig their fingers into Hoseok’s waist, their pinky finger resting on a sliver of exposed skin. Hoseok is soft there and just as warm as everywhere else.

“Jeongguk-ah,” Hoseok murmurs, his voice hoarse and deep. Jeongguk’s belly tightens at the sound of it, and they pant against his mouth. Their hand moves from his nape to his neck, feeling Hoseok’s pulse right against their palm. It’s just as quick as Jeongguk’s own one, both of their hearts beating in sync.

A shuddering breath escapes Jeongguk, and in a moment of courage, they trail their hand under Hoseok’s shirt and onto his skin. Hoseok moans against their mouth, and Jeongguk allows themself to venture further, dragging their hand up over Hoseok’s back, feeling every single knob of his spine. They move their thumb over his jaw, tilting Hoseok’s head lower so that they can deepen the kiss properly, biting teasingly into Hoseok’s bottom lip.

“Jeongguk-ah,” Hoseok repeats and this time it makes Jeongguk’s dick twitch in their underwear. Instinctively, they kick their hips up into Hoseok’s, feeling the bulge that has formed there. “Jeongguk-ah, I’m—”

“D’you wanna stop?” Jeongguk pants against his mouth. They force themself to put some distance between the two of them, giving Hoseok the space he needs to breathe. Hoseok follows them, though, locking their lips together again, his tongue finding Jeongguk’s easily. A moan leaves Jeongguk’s throat, and they bite into Hoseok’s lower lip again, sucking it into their mouth.

The heat in their belly tightens when Hoseok repeats the action on them, one of his hands following the lines of Jeongguk’s body down to the side of their hip. Something about the weight of it there arouses Jeongguk even more, kissing Hoseok with a bruising force. Hoseok whines, breaking apart from Jeongguk.

His lips find their jawline instead, trailing his wet mouth down to their neck and behind their ear, close to where their pulse is the strongest. He latches onto the patch of skin there, sucking it between his teeth, nibbling on it, using his tongue to soothe the sting of it. Jeongguk’s back arches off the couch slightly, and they tilt their hips up for more, trying to move them against Hoseok’s.

“Is this okay?” they ask breathlessly, panting for air. “Hoseok-ah, you need to talk to me, is this okay? Can I keep going? Do you want this?”

“Want you so fucking bad,” Hoseok gasps against their neck. He leaves a trail of wet kisses on the other side of Jeongguk’s neck, starting to move his hips together with Jeongguk. Their dicks brush against one another, hidden behind layers of underwear and jeans, but it feels so good that Jeongguk can’t help but moan. They drag Hoseok up by his neck, kissing the air straight out of his mouth. “God, Jeongguk-ah, you have no idea how much I want you.”

“Yeah?” Jeongguk pants, a satisfied smile tugging at the corner of their mouth. “Tell me about it.”

“Since the first time I fucking saw you—” Hoseok stutters in his movements, dragging his cock deliciously slow against Jeongguk’s. “Wanted to get on my knees for you right then and there, fuck. Your stupid hot glasses and rolled up sleeves and—God, you’re so hot and you don’t even know it.”

Jeongguk laughs hoarsely, the sound turning into a low-pitched whine when Hoseok sucks on their pulse again. “Fuck, feels so good. Don’t stop, don’t stop , feels so good, ah—”

Hoseok’s lips find Jeongguk’s again, swallowing their noises straight out of them. They gasp into Hoseok’s mouth, trying to drag their hips against Hoseok’s firmer, harder, faster. Hoseok seems to catch on because his movements turn sloppier but quicker, and the heat in Jeongguk’s stomach tightens tightens tightens.

“Oh God, fuck, Hoseok-ah, I’m close, I’m so close, keep going, I’m so fucking close, I’m—”

Fireworks explode behind Jeongguk’s closed eyelids, and they press their hand into Hoseok’s back, hide their face against the side of his neck as one moan after another leaves them, their cock twitching in their underwear with how hard they’re cumming. A shudder wrecks through their body, and they sob into Hoseok’s skin, dry and open-mouthed.

Hoseok’s orgasm follows shortly after, his hips continuing to roll against Jeongguk’s to the point where they almost feel overstimulated. Filthy words keep stumbling out of his throat, telling Jeongguk how good they feel and how amazing they sounded, how Hoseok wishes he had recorded it so that he could replay it for all of eternity. Jeongguk’s spent dick twitches at the thought of it, and they pant against Hoseok’s neck, forcing themself to loosen their grip on him.

Hoseok immediately uses that opportunity to lock their lips together again, wet and warm. Unlike their previous kisses, this one is softer and slower, their tongues moving against each other languidly. Jeongguk sighs into it, happy and relaxed. The hand that they had on Hoseok’s neck trails up to his hair instead, pushing some strands out of his eyes.

“You okay?” Hoseok asks quietly, breathing a gentle peck against the corner of Jeongguk’s mouth. “Was that too much?”

Jeongguk lets out a breathy chuckle. They smooth their hand down Hoseok’s spine and back up again, lazy and slow. “It was perfect. Was it too much for you?”

“Not at all,” Hoseok smiles. “Felt really good. Never wanted it to stop.”

Jeongguk laughs again, reciprocating Hoseok’s kiss easily. For a moment, that’s all they do, exchanging soft kisses and caresses, smiling at one another before reconnecting their mouths. Jeongguk has no idea how much time passes like that, but by the time Hoseok drags himself off their body, the cum in their underwear is dry and uncomfortable.

Hoseok giggles at the expression on their face and pulls them off the couch by their hand, leading them to the bathroom with a few slow kisses. He gives Jeongguk clothes to change into and a towel, letting them shower first. By the time they’re done, Hoseok has prepared a small dinner for the both of them, the table set and the food only needing a few more minutes to be ready. Hoseok uses that time to take a quick shower himself, his skin pink and hot when he joins Jeongguk at the kitchen table afterwards.

The two of them eat slowly, then, Hoseok telling Jeongguk about his clients and Jeongguk telling him about their customers. They laugh together, quietly and comfortingly, the atmosphere domestic in a way Jeongguk has only ever dreamt of. They even do the dishes together once they’re done, exchanging kisses to the shoulder and the cheek whenever they get close enough for it.

Hoseok invites Jeongguk into his bed, then, and Jeongguk goes willingly. The pillows are soft under their head, and the duvet is comfortable on top of them. They hold the covers up for Hoseok to slide into next to them, and he does so after putting on a vinyl, a slow and calming tune filling the bedroom. Hoseok’s arm is wrapped around their waist, and Jeongguk’s own one is lying on his hip, their hand pressed against his back again. The last thing Jeongguk sees before they fall asleep is Hoseok’s relaxed face, their nose tucked right against his warm neck.

When Jeongguk wakes up it’s morning already, the sun shining into the room through the open blinds. It smells like green soap, a hint of vaseline to it, and a smile immediately forms on Jeongguk lips. They inhale deeply, causing Hoseok to grunt in confusion.

“Mhh, time ‘s it?” Hoseok drawls half-asleep, his hand moving up to Jeongguk’s shoulder.

Jeongguk opens their eyes to look at Hoseok, their fingers trailing up and down his spine. There is sleep all over his squished face, his lips parted to breathe through his mouth. Jeongguk leaves the ghost of a kiss on his chin. “Dunno.”

“Phone?” Hoseok murmurs, much quieter than before.

“Left it in my coat pocket last night,” Jeongguk says, pecking Hoseok’s jaw next. “Don’t know where your clock is.”

“There isn’t,” Hoseok responds. For a moment, he stays like that, his face half-hidden in the pillow. Then, he groans, sleepily blinking his eyes open. It takes them a moment to fully focus on Jeongguk, but once they do, he smiles softly, humming. “Good morning, gorgeous. Sleep well?”

A blush spreads across Jeongguk cheeks, and they hide their face against Hoseok’s collarbones. They press a kiss there, too, and Hoseok puts a hand onto the back of their neck, tilting their head up  to connect their lips softly.

“Wouldn’t mind waking up to this more often,” he murmurs against Jeongguk’s mouth, his eyes opening slightly to stare at Jeongguk’s lips. Slowly, he swipes the pad of his thumb over Jeongguk’s lower lip, leaning forward to kiss them again briefly. “You need to cover for a coworker again today?”

“No,” Jeongguk shakes their head, putting some distance between themself and Hoseok. “Seokjin is covering her shift today. I just have my own afternoon slash evening shift today. Need to be at the shop at 3 PM.”

Hoseok hums again, combing his fingers through Jeongguk’s hair. “Want me to pick you up again?”

“You don’t have to. I’m free tomorrow anyway, I’ll probably go to bed as soon as I’m home and spend the entire day tomorrow in bed with Bam.”

“Ah, that sounds nice. Can I join?”

“If you don’t mind going on a walk with me and Bam again, then yeah, of course,” Jeongguk says. They mean it, and they can tell that Hoseok knows that, too. “For now, we should make some breakfast though. I feel like I’m starving.”

“Ouch. Did I not feed you well last night?” Hoseok puts a hand onto his chest in a fake display of hurt, and Jeongguk laughs, pecking his lips quickly before rolling out of bed.

“Come on,” they say as they stretch, suppressing a yawn. “You have a session at twelve and we have no idea how late it already is.”

“At least put on some good music before you force me out of bed.” Hoseok smiles, getting up as well. He puts his bare feet into Mickey Mouse themed slippers, walking over to his record player.

Jeongguk only really notices it now, too distracted and tired last night to pay attention to their surroundings. The only thing they remember from Hoseok’s apartment is the jeans couch and the beige colour of his kitchen table and chairs, the softness of his mattress and the rainbow carpet on the floor. Everything else is a blurry mess.

They take a proper look around the bedroom now, noticing all the see-through boxes filled with vinyls. Most of them have a label printed onto them, different genres or moods written on it, things like hip hop and comfort. There’s barely any decoration aside from displayed records, and Jeongguk’s heart feels warm at the sight, fondness spreading through their chest.

“Come here, want you to pick one,” Hoseok says, smiling softly. Jeongguk walks over to him, careful not to walk into any of the boxes. “Do you know how to put a record on?”

Jeongguk shakes their head, looking at the vinyl that’s still on the record player. It’s the soundtracks of Castle In The Sky, and Jeongguk knows now why it seemed so familiar to them last night. It’s one of their favourite comfort movies, and Hoseok knows that.

“Pick an album and I’ll show you.” Hoseok takes the Castle In The Sky vinyl off the player, and Jeongguk watches as he dusts it off with some kind of brush before he puts it back into some kind of half-plastic sleeve and then into the cover. He sorts it into the comfort box afterwards.

Jeongguk exhales slowly, putting a hand onto Hoseok’s waist. “Are you sure? I don’t want to, like, break it or something like that.”

“If you break it, I’ll just buy a new one. Now come on, what are you in the mood for? Just pick whatever you like.”

Jeongguk musters his face for a moment, looking for any signs of hesitancy or uncertainty. Finding none, they swallow audibly, looking around the room for a moment before they decide they want something fun and exciting, something to start the day on an energetic note with. It doesn’t take them long to find The Death of Peace of Mind  by Bad Omens, and they watch carefully as Hoseok shows them how to turn the record player on and how to put the needle onto the vinyl properly.

They luckily do not break the record when they attempt it themself, and Hoseok presses a wet kiss to their cheek once the music starts echoing through the room, his lips parted into a heart-shaped smile. Jeongguk leans back into his chest for a moment, pulling his arms tighter around their waist before Hoseok lets go of them completely, deciding to finally move on to the kitchen.

The clock there shows that it’s just past 8 AM, and Hoseok cocks his head to the side, getting a couple eggs out of the fridge. “Ah, Jeongguk-ah, we could’ve slept for a bit longer. It’s still so early.”

“What, so you’d rather sleep than be with me?” Jeongguk exclaims in fake-offense, dragging themself over Hoseok’s back. “And I thought what we had was special.”

“Don’t be a brat,” Hoseok laughs, swatting blindly at Jeongguk’s hip. Jeongguk only tightens their grip around Hoseok’s stomach, weakly digging their chin into his shoulder. “Yah, how am I supposed to cook when you’re behaving like a koala?”

“You’ll never get rid of me again so you better get used to it.” Jeongguk nibbles on the side of Hoseok’s neck, breaking into laughter when Hoseok shrieks. They soothe over the spot with a kiss, nuzzling into the skin there. “What are you making?”

“Omelets,” Hoseok says. “Do you like spring onions in yours?”

“Sounds amazing. Want me to cut them for you?”

“Yes, please. They’re in the bottom drawer in the fridge. I washed them after I bought them, but please do me a favour and wash them again anyway.”

“Your wish is my command,” Jeongguk jokes, pecking Hoseok’s cheek one last time before they get to work.

///

“Oh, hey, guys,” Jeongguk greets Namjoon and Yoongi, watching them step into the cake shop one after another. “Aren’t you two supposed to be on a date?”

“Forgot my wallet in the back,” Yoongi says, walking past the counter to get to the staff room at the back of the store, past the bakery and kitchen.

“He only noticed because he wanted to pay for lunch and couldn’t find it in his bag,” Namjoon laughs. He steps closer to the counter, leaning against it with his forearms flat on it. “How’s the shift going?”

“Business is as slow as always.” Jeongguk shrugs, washing off one of the tongs that got some of the cupcake’s frosting onto it. “Why, you wanna work here after all?”

“I’m very happy at the vet clinic, thank you very much,” Namjoon says, smiling. He’s quiet for a moment, watching Jeongguk dry off the tongs. “You don’t look too happy to me, though.”

Jeongguk bites their tongue to hold back a sigh, meeting Namjoon’s gaze. “I know you mean well, Joon-ah, but I really do not want to talk about this. Especially not in public.”

“No one ever comes in here anyway, so it doesn’t seem that public to me,” Namjoon responds.

“I don’t want to talk about it either way, so—”

“I won’t force you to,” Namjoon softly interrupts, “but I hate seeing you so tired and dull every day. I know being a cashier and part-time baker isn’t what you really want to do, and I just want you to be happy.”

“I don’t need to be a voice actor to be happy. I already am happy. And just because it looks different than your kind of happiness doesn’t mean it’s not true.” The words sound bitter on Jeongguk’s tongue, and they only realize how stern their voice sounded once they have already said it.

“It’s been your dream ever since I knew you,” Namjoon says, his voice losing some of its softness. “How can you be happy not chasing it? Is it because of what that guy said? Gguk-ah, you know better than to listen to people like that—”

“What is going on? Why are you two fighting in public?” Jeongguk’s eyes snap to the side, their jaw clenching when they spot Yoongi at the end of the counter. He has his wallet in his hands, a disappointed expression on his face. Namjoon huffs out in frustration, and Yoongi looks at Jeongguk and then at him. “Is this about voice acting again? Right here at their workplace?”

“Hyung, you know just as well as me that we could help Gguk pay for those coaching classes, so why—”

“And you fucking know that I never asked for that and said no to it countless times already,” Jeongguk says, cutting Namjoon off. “So why do you keep mentioning it and making me feel like shit for refusing? Do you think it was easy to give up that dream? Do you think I enjoyed fucking burying it after wanting to be nothing else for literally more than a decade? Things don’t always work out the way we want them to, Joon-ah, so let it fucking go. You’re more hung up on this entire thing than I am.”

“That’s because you’re lying to yourself! If you would be honest for even a moment, you’d see that you still want it just as much as you did on the first day, and that you only pretend to be fine with it! Why don’t you just accept our help and—”

“Enough.” Yoongi’s voice is quiet but strong, silencing Namjoon immediately. “Namjoon-ah, you need to respect Jeongguk’s decisions. It’s not up to you to decide what they do with their life. Stop fucking mentioning it at every chance you get and let them deal with it on their own. You can’t keep invalidating their choices and feelings just because you mean well and want to help. It’s hurtful anyway, and it’s been going on for way too long now.”

“Hyung, if Jeongguk would just listen to me for once—”

“You never listen to what I say either, so why the fuck should I listen to you now?” Jeongguk argues, their grip on the tongs tightening.

Namjoon opens his mouth to say something again, but before he can get to it, another voice cuts in, Jeongguk’s breath getting stuck in their throat. “Is everything okay here?”

Jeongguk breaks their eye contact with Namjoon, looking to the door to find Hoseok there instead. Hoseok looks concerned and cautious, a hard edge to the expression in his eyes.

“Jeongguk-ah, are you okay?” Hoseok asks, carefully taking another step into the shop.

Jeongguk huffs out an angry sigh but nods, forcing their fingers to loosen around the tongs. “Yeah, everything’s fine. That’s Yoongi and Namjoon, my friends. Guys, that’s Hoseok.”

For a moment, no one says a word, the tense atmosphere sitting heavily on all of their shoulders. Then, Yoongi steps forward, bowing his head to Hoseok. “Nice to finally meet you, Hoseok-ssi. I’m Yoongi. Jeongguk has told us a lot about you already.”

“Likewise,” Hoseok says, a hint of cautiousness still evident in the way he keeps eyeing Jeongguk carefully, as if to make sure that everything is indeed fine. “Were you here to pick them up?”

“No, we were just about to leave actually,” Yoongi says. He smiles at Hoseok but Jeongguk can see how forced it is. “It really was nice to meet you, though. Maybe we can repeat this over dinner one day?”

“Sure.” Hoseok nods, watching as Yoongi takes Namjoon’s elbow into his hand, dragging him out of the store with him. As soon as they are out of sight, Hoseok turns to Jeongguk again, his eyebrows furrowing in worry. “Oh, love. What happened?”

Jeongguk shakes their head, pressing their lips tightly together to force the sob back into their throat. The tears in their eyes fall over their cheeks anyway, and before they know it, Hoseok has walked around the counter, pulling them into his arms. Jeongguk sags against him, trying not to break down completely as they hide their face against his neck.

“It’s alright, baby,” Hoseok says, one hand on the back of Jeongguk’s head while the other one moves up and down their back. “Let it all out, I’m here.”

“Can’t,” Jeongguk croaks out, exhaling a trembling breath. “‘m still—still working. Customers could—they could come in any moment, I need to—”

“Shh, it’s fine, shh.” Hoseok presses a kiss to Jeongguk’s hair. “When’s your coworker coming?”

“Her—Her shift starts in five minutes,” Jeongguk sniffles, a sob immediately following the words. “But ‘m s-supposed to stay till half today.”

“Alright. We’ll leave a bit early today, okay?” Hoseok tightens his grip around Jeongguk when another sob escapes them, their tears wetting the skin of Hoseok’s neck. “I got you, love. Just a bit more, and then we’re home.”

Hoseok keeps murmuring quiet reassurances to Jeongguk, trying to comfort them in every way that’s possible right now. Jeongguk manages to calm down a bit more with each word he says, their tears slowly drying, leaving their cheeks uncomfortably stiff. They only separate from Hoseok once their coworker comes in, a few minutes late like she usually is.

Before she can ask any questions, Jeongguk tells her that they can’t stay till the end of their shift today, but that they took care of the laundry already and that there are no dirty dishes left in the kitchen, so there’s nothing to catch up on. She nods, obviously worried and confused, but Jeongguk can’t really pay much mind to it. They take Hoseok with them to the back where their light jeans jacket and their backpack are, allowing him to help them slip into both.

Hoseok hands Jeongguk a new face mask, pulled out from the pocket of his jacket, and Jeongguk hides behind it gratefully. Together, the two of them walk to the train station, Hoseok gently pulling Jeongguk onto the train with him. Jeongguk is quiet during the entire ride, leaning their head against Hoseok’s shoulder, staring emptily into the crowd. It’s Hoseok who makes sure the two of them make it to Jeongguk’s apartment, and Jeongguk takes off the face mask, picks their keys out of the front pocket of their jeans and unlocks both the door to the apartment complex and then the front door to their apartment.

When Hoseok doesn’t follow them inside immediately but rather stands outside in the hallway, new tears spring to Jeongguk’s eyes, a sob reforming in their throat.

“Stay?” They ask shakily, squeezing Hoseok’s fingers between their own.

Hoseok hesitates, allowing Jeongguk to tug him closer. “Are you sure you want me with you right now? Shouldn’t I call Seokjin, or someone else?”

“No,” Jeongguk shakes their head, a lone tear running down their cheek. “I want you with me. Please stay?”

Hoseok looks at their face for a moment longer before he nods, toeing off his shoes and following Jeongguk into the apartment. It’s the first time that Hoseok is at their place but they can’t really bring up any excitement or energy to show him around, struggling already to find the motivation to take off their jacket and hang it up behind the closed door.

Their bedroom is right across the hall and they spot Bam sleeping in his house next to their bed. Other than that, though, everything is the same as how they left it in the morning before work. A sigh escapes them, and for a moment, they just stand in the hallway, not knowing what to do next.

Hoseok seems to read the uncertainty off them, though, because he quietly leads Jeongguk to the bedroom, making a move to sit down on the bed with them. Jeongguk tugs on their entangled hands, shaking their head.

“Not in our outside clothes,” they say, walking over to their closet. “If you wanna lie on the bed, you need to get changed.”

Hoseok accepts a pair of Spider-Man themed sweatpants and a Howl-themed shirt without hesitation, even putting on the pumpkin socks that Jeongguk gives him. Jeongguk puts on some more comfortable clothes as well, their hungry caterpillar socks as well as pajama pants with Edward and Bella from Twilight printed onto them, their sweater a neutral red.

It’s only then that Jeongguk allows the two of them onto the bed, grabbing the hand cream Hoseok bought for them off the nightstand before they sit down, crossing their legs. Hoseok takes the cream out of their hands, unscrewing the lid and squeezing a bit of it onto Jeongguk’s knuckles. His touch is gentle as he spreads it over Jeongguk’s skin, massaging it into all the dry and cracked parts.

Jeongguk only watches quietly, feeling overcome by an emotion they can’t describe. It’s right there in their chest, fluttering to life every time they look at Hoseok. But even when they’re on their own just thinking about him, it’s anchored deeply into their heart, a yearning that only ever gets satisfied when Hoseok is there to soothe it.

It’s a vulnerable feeling, something that makes Jeongguk feel bare in all the right ways. And it’s in moments like these, where Hoseok takes care of them so instinctively, as if he’s been doing it all of his life already, that Jeongguk sees it in Hoseok’s heart as well, a feeling that connects them in ways Jeongguk couldn’t put into words no matter how hard they tried to.

It makes something inside of them break, but somehow it doesn’t feel scary at all. Not when they know Hoseok is right there to put it back together with his caring hands and tender words.

“Namjoon and I fought earlier,” Jeongguk says, their eyes locked onto where Hoseok’s fingers are still applying the moisturizing cream into their palm. “At the cake shop, just before you came in. Actually exactly when you came in. Yoongi tried to stop it but Namjoon and I wouldn’t listen.”

Hoseok hums quietly, and Jeongguk can feel his gaze on them. “Are you scared you two won’t make up again?”

“No, no, I’m sure we will eventually. That’s not it.” Jeongguk shakes their head. “It’s just—It’s the same topic every single time and I’m sick of it. I keep telling him it’s not something I want to talk about but he mentions it again and again and again just because he thinks he can convince me otherwise.”

“Have you two tried to talk about it properly?”

“That’s not it either. It’s—” A sigh escapes them. They bite their tongue, their eyes flickering up to Hoseok for a moment before falling back onto their entangled hands. “It’s about voice acting.”

Hoseok’s movements halt, and Jeongguk closes their eyes. “The dream that didn’t work out?”

“Yeah,” Jeongguk exhales. “I’d have to take classes for it to work out. Classes that cost more money than I can afford. Don’t get me wrong, Seokjin pays me well and it’s more than enough for how I live. But not enough for those classes. And Namjoon keeps trying to make me accept help from him. Financial help. Even though I’ve been telling him for years already that I don’t want his money and that things are fine like this. He keeps insisting I can’t be genuinely happy without chasing my dream and it’s just—It’s the same discussion every single time and I hate that he won’t just stop.”

Hoseok’s thumb swipes over Jeongguk’s knuckles, slow and repetitive. For a moment, he doesn’t say anything, and Jeongguk opens their eyes to look at him again. “There’s more to it.”

“What do you mean?” Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“That’s not the only reason,” Hoseok says, his voice quiet and soft. “The classes being too expensive, I mean. There’s more to it. Do you want to tell me?”

Jeongguk clenches their jaw, forcing themself to breathe in slowly. They take one of their hands out of Hoseok’s hold, dragging it over their face and up into their hair. “It’s just—”

They groan in frustration and let their head drop. Their elbow digs into their thigh uncomfortably but they ignore it, hiding their face in the palm of their hand.

“I’m not confident enough, I guess,” they say, pausing for a moment after. They look up at Hoseok, finally meeting his eyes again. “And I’m worried that because I look like a man and sound like a man, I’d only ever get casted for male roles. Which would make sense, I guess, because there aren’t really many animated shows or movies with non-cis characters that get dubbed into Korean, and I certainly don’t sound like a cis-woman either so that’s out of the question anyway. But it’s just—I don’t want to voice male characters all day long and have another part of my body and my being tied to my social dysphoria. I experience enough of it because of my looks alone already and I really don’t want to add my voice to the list. So I feel like it’s just not really worth it. It’s fun but not it for me if I’d have to hide myself and suffer because of it.”

The expression in Hoseok’s eyes changes. Instead of worry and care, there is sadness visible in them now. It tugs uncomfortably at Jeongguk’s heart, and they reach out for Hoseok, pulling him into their lap.

“It’s fine, Seok-ah,” they say before he has any time to respond properly. “I have found my peace with it. Of course it’s still something I would love to do and something I find joy in, but I don’t need to do it professionally for it to be a part of my life. You don’t need to worry about it, okay?”

“I’m gonna worry either way because I don’t want you to be sad.” Hoseok threads a hand through Jeongguk’s hair, cupping his hand around the back of their neck. “Don’t get me wrong, I believe you when you say that you have found your peace with it. But I still wish you wouldn’t have to worry about all of that in the first place.”

“Like, that I wasn’t genderqueer?” Jeongguk asks, an uncomfortable knot forming in their stomach.

“No, God no, baby, that’s not what I meant at all,” Hoseok immediately says. “I wish society was more accepting and supportive so that you and other non-cis people wouldn’t have to deal with worries and realities like that. I’m sorry that it seemed like I said I wish you weren’t genderqueer. I like you for all that you are. Of course that includes you being non-binary.”

“Genderqueer,” Jeongguk corrects. They smooth their hands over Hoseok’s waist and up his back. “Sorry. My ex used to say that, so I guess the way you said it just sort of reminded me of that.”

“What an asshole. I’m glad you’re not with that person anymore.” The expression on Hoseok’s face turns into a grimace.

“Yeah, believe me, me too,” Jeongguk laughs. “He broke up with me when I started figuring out some stuff about my gender. I switched to he and they pronouns back then, and he left me, saying he wished I was just a normal man so that he wouldn’t have to be forced to end our relationship. He also said voice acting was childish though, so I probably should’ve broken up with him long before that.”

“Do you still have his address? For purely legal reasons, of course.”

Jeongguk laughs again and Hoseok kisses the side of their head, his lips spread into a smile. Jeongguk leans back to kiss him properly, short and gentle. As soon as the two of them part, Jeongguk slides their hand under Hoseok’s shirt, feeling his warm skin against their cold fingers. “You really don’t think it’s childish?”

“What? Voice acting?” Hoseok asks and Jeongguk nods. “Of course not, Jeongguk-ah. I think it’s amazing. Being able to put so many emotions into your voice alone, change it whenever it’s needed, speak along to already animated or filmed scenes? That’s insane! It’s really cool and takes an awful lot of hard work. Just think about all the Disney movies kids watch and love because voice actors dubbed it for them! Jeongguk-ah, voice acting isn’t childish, are you kidding me? I still wish more movies were dubbed so that I could enjoy them with the familiarity of my native language.”

Gnawing on their bottom lip, Jeongguk looks into Hoseok’s excited eyes. “Really?”

“Really. And you would be fucking amazing at it. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise,” Hoseok says. He bends down to kiss them again, separating quickly. “And I don’t know if you ever told Namjoon about how you not wanting to take those classes is related to your gender, but I think this discussion between the two of you would really benefit from it. Which doesn’t mean I think it’s okay of him to keep forcing his help onto you even though you’ve refused several times already. But he’s your friend and only wants to see you happy, and I think that might just make him forget to see trees instead of just the entire forest. Or however that saying goes.”

Jeongguk chuckles at the last part, pressing their lips together as they nod. “You’re right. He should accept my no even without knowing all the reasons, but I’ve known him for years and I know that he means no harm. He genuinely wants to help me and see me happy with something I wanted to be in the past. I’ll call him tomorrow, ask him if I can come over. Would that be okay with you?”

“What, because of our date?” Hoseok asks.

“Yeah. We’d have to move it later into the evening instead.”

“Gguk-ah, love, of course that’s okay with me.” He smooths a hand down the side of Jeongguk’s neck, his thumb resting against their collarbone. “Don’t neglect your friends because of me, alright? You can also talk to him right now if that’s what you’d prefer. I can leave and you can meet up with him and talk it out—”

“No, no, I—” Jeongguk begins, breathing out deeply. “I wanna stay with you right now. Not because I don’t care about my friends, because I really do. But Namjoon and I fighting over this is something that has been affecting Yoongi for a long time as well and things didn’t really go well at work earlier. I’m sure they need to work on it on their own for today before Namjoon is ready to make up with me.”

“Alright. But don’t overthink it until then, okay? Like you said, you’ve been friends for years now and this topic has come up a lot. The both of you will smooth things out with time.”

“I won’t, don’t worry.” Jeongguk traces along Hoseok’s spine, following the lines of it up and down. They kiss him again, a series of short and gentle pecks, calming both of their minds and hearts.

For a moment, neither of the two say something, reveling in the comfortable silence that has formed around them. Then, slowly and gently, Jeongguk separates from Hoseok completely, staring up into his eyes. “Any idea what we could make for dinner?”

///

Just like Jeongguk said, it doesn't take them and Namjoon long to make up. They call him a day after the fight, some time after Hoseok already left for work, and ask if they can come over to talk about it all. Namjoon agrees, a reluctant tone in his voice that Jeongguk knows is more shame and guilt than unwillingness to make up.

Yoongi is nowhere to be seen when they arrive at the apartment, and Namjoon says he went out for a walk, wanting to give Namjoon and Jeongguk the space to talk privately. Jeongguk just nods and sits down on the couch with him. They open the topic slowly, but honestly, and finally tell Namjoon about how they’re worried being casted for only male characters would make them feel dysphoric.

Namjoon listens to everything they have to say, not making any kind of defensive comments when Jeongguk says that despite all of that, Namjoon should have accepted their no anyway. Just like Yoongi said, insisting on it is hurtful and invalidating, and it’s been going on for the past two years.

It’s with tears in his eyes that Namjoon apologizes, agreeing that the way he acted wasn’t okay and that he should have given up on it much sooner. He’s sorry for not letting it go, and admits that wanting to help doesn’t change the fact that he only made things worse somehow. Jeongguk forgives him easily, hoping that this will finally be the last time the two of them talk about this topic.

Once Namjoon has calmed down a bit, he asks Jeongguk about Hoseok, apologizing for the fact that he got to see such an ugly side of Namjoon first. He says that Yoongi’s invitation for dinner was a serious one, though, and that the two of them would love to finally meet him officially and properly. Namjoon refers to Hoseok as Jeongguk’s boyfriend, and their cheeks heat up so rapidly that they get flustered, trying to hide behind their hands.

The two of them have never really talked about any labels or making things official, but thinking of Hoseok in terms of their boyfriend makes the butterflies in their stomach come back to life, a tingling feeling spreading through their body. It’s a conversation they aren’t sure needs to happen, more than convinced that they and Hoseok both know that what the two of them have is something exclusive and special. But the thought won’t leave their mind anyway, and they have to fight back the urge to mention it during their date with Hoseok that evening, following him around a museum he wanted to check out.

What Jeongguk does mention, though, is Yoongi’s dinner invitation, and that Jeongguk would love for Hoseok to finally meet their friends. It should have happened weeks ago already, is what they say, and they don’t want to wait any longer with it.

Hoseok laughs, his lips spreading into a heart yet again. He looks more beautiful than any of the paintings and sculptures surrounding them, and Jeongguk can’t help but steal a kiss from them. With his hand on Jeongguk’s nape, Hoseok says that Jimin and Taehyung have been pestering him about wanting to meet Jeongguk as well, and that he would love it if they could combine it somehow.

It doesn’t take them long, then, to make concrete plans, Jeongguk inviting everyone to their apartment on the following weekend. They cook together with Seokjin beforehand, their three friends already at their place before the agreed time to help them set everything up.

“You guys do know that this isn’t a party, right?” Jeongguk says, checking on the food again to make sure it hasn’t suddenly started rotting since they last looked at it two minutes ago.

“There’s cheap beer and music,” Seokjin replies. “Sounds an awful lot like a party to me. A small one, but a party nonetheless.”

“If you start stripping again I won’t hesitate to throw you out,” Jeongguk says sternly. Seokjin laughs and Jeongguk sighs, their shoulders dropping. They turn towards their friends, all huddled around the dining table. “I want this evening to go well, okay? Hoseok is really important to me and I need you guys to get along well with him if things are supposed to work out between us in the long run.”

Yoongi nods, smiling playfully. “Don’t worry, we’ll wait till the end of the evening before we show him your baby pictures.”

“Yah!” Jeongguk throws a rag at Yoongi, hitting him square in the face. The doorbell rings just a second later and all of them freeze, Jeongguk’s eyes widening. Seokjin is the first one to move, walking to the door. Jeongguk runs after him, reaching him just as he buzzes Hoseok and his friends in. “If you guys show him my teenage pictures I will throw you off the roof into a dumpster.”

“Yeah, good luck with that, Matthew,” Seokjin laughs, referencing a scene from Daredevil . Jeongguk pokes their elbow into his side, soft enough not to hurt but hard enough for Seokjin to move out of the way.

They open the door just as the first knock echoes through the hallway, coming face to face with Hoseok. “If my friends pull you between them onto the couch, do me a favour and run.”

“What?” Hoseok says, a confused smile on his face.

“Oh, don’t listen to them.” Seokjin moves in front of Jeongguk, bowing his head to Hoseok and his friend. “Hi, I’m Seokjin. From what Jeongguk told me I’m the oldest of us all, so feel free to speak comfortably with me. Come in, come in, Yoongi and Namjoon are setting the table right now.”

“Thanks, I’m Hoseok.” Hoseok smiles at the two of them, toeing off his shoes as he walks into the apartment. He presses a quick peck to Jeongguk’s lips, his hand warm on their waist. “Hey, beautiful.”

“H-hi,” Jeongguk stutters, feeling shy all of a sudden. They have never really been much into PDA in front of their friends, always too flustered and embarrassed for it. They feel just the same with Hoseok now, scratching their nose in an attempt to appear nonchalant. Hoseok presses another kiss against their cheek before he walks past them and into the kitchen.

“Well, that was cute,” someone says, and Jeongguk looks up at Hoseok’s friends. “Hi, I’m Jimin, it’s so nice to finally meet you!”

“I’m Taehyung but I think you already knew that.” Taehyung smiles. “Hoseok told me so much about you, it’s so good to finally meet you myself.”

“Ah, likewise,” Jeongguk says, bowing their head slightly. “Uh, come in, please, and make yourselves at home. The kitchen is the first door to the right, the bathroom is right next to it. The living room is to the left.”

“Thanks,” Jimin says, bending down to take off her shoes. Taehyung simply kicks them off his feet, putting them next to where Hoseok left his. “It smells amazing in here. What did you cook?”

It’s Seokjin who replies, closing the door behind all of them as he leads them into the kitchen. The table is already set, Hoseok laughing about something Namjoon said. After the fight Hoseok partially witnessed, Jeongguk was worried that he might be holding a grudge against Namjoon now or that the two of them might find it difficult to leave that first impression behind and start anew. Seeing them get along well already, though, fills Jeongguk’s heart with warmth, and they smile as they watch the two of them talk.

Yoongi introduces himself to Jimin and Taehyung, then, Namjoon following right after. They all sit down at the dining table, squeezing themself around it to make it fit. It’s a table meant for four people, not seven, but they make it fit somehow, Jeongguk sandwiched between Hoseok and Taehyung.

They eat the Bibimbap and the Kimbap that Seokjin and Jeongguk prepared, talking about how their friendships started and how they’re more like a family by now. Jimin and Taehyung ask Jeongguk questions about their job, and Seokjin and Yoongi ask Hoseok about what it’s like to be a tattoo artist.

The conversation barely stops after that, a new topic always arising through the one they were talking about before that. Laughter echoes through the kitchen for hours, Jimin and Namjoon hitting it off especially well and barely finding a stop to their conversation. Taehyung talks to Seokjin and Yoongi about the bread he likes to bake, and Jeongguk watches it all happen with a smile on their lips and warmth in their heart, happy to see all of them get along so well.

“You okay?” Hoseok murmurs next to them, his hand finding Jeongguk’s knee under the table. His other arm is propped on the back of Jeongguk’s chair, the tips of his fingers trailing up and down their spine. “You’ve been quiet for a while now.”

“Just—enjoying watching them, I guess,” Jeongguk replies. They turn their head towards Hoseok, their faces almost touching with how close they are. There is a smile on Hoseok’s lips, small but soft, and Jeongguk can’t help but lean forward to taste it briefly. “Didn’t think this evening would go that well, to be honest. Or, like, I was scared it wouldn’t. I think I’m mainly relieved now to see them all get along so well.”

“Mh, yeah, I get that. Was scared shitless, too,” Hoseok chuckles.

“Really?” Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow and slowly, they drag Hoseok’s arm around their waist, linking their fingers together. “You seemed so confident when you came in. You even kissed me right in front of everyone.”

“I needed a good luck charm!” Laughter bubbles out of Jeongguk’s chest at that, and they lean forward again for another brief kiss. “See, that’s what I mean. One kiss from you and the world starts spinning again.”

“Isn’t it usually the other way around? You kiss someone and the whole world stops?”

“No, not for me. Not with you.” Hoseok shakes his head. “Life sometimes feels too slow for me. Like the whole world is standing still, and I’m trapped in the moment, unable to move forward. Sometimes work makes me feel like that, when I’m stuck on a design. Sometimes it’s my family, when I haven’t visited them in too long. Sometimes it’s also just my brain, telling me that everything is frozen and I’m stuck. But with you, things are moving. They are going forward and I know I’m neither trapped nor stuck. The earth spins when I’m with you, and that’s exactly how it should be.”

Jeongguk stares at him, not knowing what to say. That anchoring feeling in their chest tugs at their heart again, making them feel vulnerable but safe. It’s right there deep inside of them, and looking into Hoseok’s eyes now, they believe that he can feel it, too.

A shuddering breath leaves their throat as they lean forward, softly connecting their lips with Hoseok’s. It’s a barely there pressure, the ghost of a touch, like a whispered promise. It’s tender and warm, and Jeongguk feels Hoseok’s heart under their palm, fluttering like a baby bird during its first flight.

Slowly, Jeongguk separates their lips, leaning their forehead gently against Hoseok’s. They trail the tips of their fingers over Hoseok’s chest, feeling Hoseok’s hand move up and down their thigh in soothing strokes.

“You mean so much to me, Hoseok-ah” they breathe out, barely audible to their own ears. “Thank you for sharing that with me.”

Hoseok doesn’t respond, tilting his head back to kiss Jeongguk again. It’s shorter than the last one, more a peck than an actual kiss, but Jeongguk revels in it anyway. The two of them stay like that for a moment longer, their foreheads touching, breathing in the same air, before they find the willpower to separate.

As soon as there is some space between them again, their surroundings come crashing back into Jeongguk, blood rushing into their cheeks. Their friends are still sitting around the dinner table with them, talking animatedly over one another. Jeongguk has no idea if any of them heard or saw what Hoseok and they talked about, but they feel embarrassed anyway. They take their hand off Hoseok’s chest to hide behind it, and Hoseok laughs against the side of their head, pecking their temple.

“You’re so cute, it makes me want to eat you up,” Hoseok whispers, his hand moving towards the dip where Jeongguk’s thigh meets their hip, close to their crotch. Jeongguk’s eyes widen, and Hoseok immediately drags his hand down to Jeongguk’s knee again, pressing another kiss to their hair. “Don’t worry, there’s enough time for that later.”

“What the fuck,” Jeongguk says, heat creeping into their belly. “Shut up, oh my God, since when are you so shameless?”

Hoseok laughs, tightening his grip on Jeongguk’s waist. “You turned into a cherry tomato again.”

“Shut up, this is so embarrassing.”

“Nah, it’s really cute actually.”

“No, it is not, what the fuck. I think I’m gonna scream, oh God.” Jeongguk rubs a hand over their face, hiding another embarrassed and slightly turned on smile. “We should clean up. Now. We should clean up right now. Everyone, let’s move to the couch in the living room, come on.”

Hoseok laughs again when Jeongguk stands up, forcing him to let go of them completely. Jeongguk bites their lower lip to stop themself from laughing as well, getting everyone at the table to stand up with them. Seokjin makes fun of Jeongguk as soon as he sees how red their face and ears have turned, and Jeongguk playfully slaps his shoulder, pushing him out of the kitchen together with everyone else.

It’s only when all of them are in the living room that Jeongguk realizes Hoseok hasn’t come with them. They walk back into the kitchen, watching Hoseok tidy up the table for a moment.

“What are you doing?” They ask, leaning against the doorframe.

“You hate leaving things a mess,” Hoseok replies simply, opening one of the cabinets above the sink to take out some lunch boxes.

A warm feeling spreads through Jeongguk’s chest, and they walk up to Hoseok, hugging him from behind. With their chin propped up on his shoulder, they kiss his jaw, tightening their grip around his shoulder. “Thank you. But I can still clean this up later, once everyone is gone.”

“And feel restless until then?” Hoseok questions. “No way. Let me do it real quick. It’s not gonna take long.”

Jeongguk’s heart fills with warmth so quickly that it feels like it’s going to burst. They gnaw on their bottom lip, hiding their face against Hoseok’s neck. Then, with another peck pressed against his collarbone, they let go of him, turning to the table instead. They collect all the dirty plates and rinse them off, putting them into the dishwasher while Hoseok puts the leftover food into reusable plastic boxes. He smiles at Jeongguk when their gazes meet but doesn’t say a word, and Jeongguk wishes there was a way for them to express just how much Hoseok truly means to them.

It really doesn’t take them too long to clean everything up, Jeongguk swiping over the dining table with a rag one last time before they wash their hands. Hoseok is waiting for them with their hand cream in his hands already, and Jeongguk can only smile as he massages it into Jeongguk’s skin. Their knuckles aren’t as dry anymore as they were three months ago before they met Hoseok, and somehow knowing that someone cares enough about them to pay attention to little things like that makes them feel like they could cry.

Instead of actually breaking into tears, though, they leave a grateful kiss on Hoseok’s lips, stroking a thumb softly over his cheekbone. Hoseok only smiles at them.

Together, the two of them join the others in the living room, walking in to everyone sitting on the ground around the coffee table.

“Thank God you two are finally done making out,” Jimin says, mixing a stack of cards. “Come on, sit down you two. We’re playing UNO.”

“Don’t tell me you actually brought that with you,” Hoseok comments, kneeling down on the floor next to her. Jeongguk takes the last free space right next to him, sandwiched between Hoseok and Seokjin this time.

“It’s the perfect game to play to build the foundation for a strong and steady friendship,” she says. She lays seven cards out on the table, quickly adding more to each individual stack. “It’s not my fault I’m unbeatable at it.”

“Unbeatable?” Seokjin questions. “You? Surely only because you’ve never been up against me before.”

“You wish.”

She throws one last card into the middle of the table, and everyone rushes to grab a stack, chaos immediately ensuing as Seokjin complains about how badly she mixed them while Yoongi argues that it’s purely luck. Hoseok laughs, leaning so far into Jeongguk’s side that they can see every single card he has.

It’s a long round, Jeongguk being the first one to get rid of all of their cards, followed closely by Namjoon, and then Hoseok and Taehyung. Seokjin and Jimin are the only ones left, throwing card after card onto the stack as if their life depends on it. In the end, it’s Seokjin who wins, by putting his last card, a +4, onto a +2. Jimin yells at him, saying that something like that is only allowed if it’s two of the same, and that his win doesn’t count because he cheated. Seokjin tells her to stop being a sore loser, and it doesn’t take them long to mix the cards again, going for another round.

It’s fun, much more exciting than Jeongguk thought at first, and they can barely stop laughing together with everyone else. They end up halfway in Hoseok’s lap somehow, the two of them starting to put their cards together and play as one. Taehyung teases the two of them for it, calling them inseparable lovebirds, and somehow, Jeongguk doesn’t really mind. Hoseok leaves kisses against their shoulder when no one is watching, his hand finding its way onto their thigh again.

For a while, it just rests there and Jeongguk almost forgets about it completely. Then, as soon as they get rid of all their cards first again, it starts slowly moving up and down. His fingertips drum against their knee, trail up the inside of their thigh along the seam of their jeans. Jeongguk’s breath gets stuck in their throat, their heart skipping a beat inside of their chest.

“What are you doing?” They murmur, forcing their eyes to stay focused on the game in front of them. “Hoseok-ah, I’m—”

“I’m just touching you, baby,” Hoseok whispers into their ear, laughing along a second later to Seokjin complaining about having to pick up two new cards again. “Why? Do you want me to stop?”

His hand comes to a halt near Jeongguk’s knee, heavy and warm. A whine bubbles up in Jeongguk’s throat and they swallow it back down, taking Hoseok’s hand into their own. They intertwine their fingers, dragging Hoseok’s palm up their thigh again.

“Want you to keep going,” they admit quietly, turning their head slightly so that no one except for Hoseok can hear them. “But I want us to be alone.”

Hoseok swallows audibly behind them. His grip on Jeongguk’s thigh tightens, and Jeongguk exhales shakily. “Soon. Okay?”

Jeongguk nods, and Hoseok presses a kiss to their clothed shoulder. They continue watching their friends play afterwards, even going as far as to start yet another round. All Jeongguk can think about, however, is Hoseok’s hand on their thigh, and how much better it would feel without a layer of jeans separating their skin from his long fingers. Pictures start filling their head soon after, images of Hoseok’s big palm wrapped around the base of their cock, themself on their knees to wrap their lips around the head of Hoseok’s, Hoseok’s fingers inside them, reaching for that one specific spot—

“Yah, since when is it past ten already?” Seokjin yells all of a sudden, pulling Jeongguk out of their daydream abruptly. “Yoongi and I need to be at the bakery at fucking six! Who even thought starting a shift that early would be a good idea?”

“Literally you!” Yoongi laughs, shoving Seokjin playfully. “You’re the boss! You could change it right now!”

“I like to see you suffer,” Seokjin says.

Yoongi shoves him again, and it’s only then that Jeongguk realizes they were imagining what sex with Hoseok would feel like while they were surrounded by both of their friends. Their ears start burning, and they scratch their nose in embarrassment. Hoseok catches on immediately, chuckling against their ear, his hand squeezing around the inside of their thigh again.

He pats their waist afterwards, motioning for them to get up. Jeongguk does so, awkwardly standing around in their own living room for a moment before Hoseok stands up as well, followed by everyone else. It doesn’t take their friends long to start saying goodbye, then, everyone trailing into the hallway one after another. Jimin and Taehyung are the first ones to put on their shoes, smiling at Jeongguk before they walk out of the door. Namjoon, Yoongi and Seokjin are next, hugging both Jeongguk and Hoseok tightly. It’s Hoseok who closes the door behind the three of them, slowly turning around to lean with his back against it.

For a moment, the two of them only stare at each other. Then, the corner of Hoseok’s mouth tugs up into a teasing smile. “Now?”

“Fuck, yeah,” Jeongguk says, pressing themself against Hoseok as they crush their lips onto his.

They can’t help but immediately moan into it, feeling the arousal from over the past hour crash back into them with full force. Their pants feel tight within no time, and they rut against Hoseok’s thigh, dragging a hand over his sides up to the side of his neck.

“I hate you,” they pant into the kiss, biting into Hoseok’s lower lip before sucking on his tongue. “God, I’m so fucking hard and it’s all your fault.”

Hoseok laughs against their mouth. One of his hands tugs at Jeongguk’s hair and they whine breathily, their hips stuttering. “You’re the one who wanted me to keep going.”

“Shut up.” Jeongguk licks into Hoseok’s mouth, pushing his shirt up so that they can put their hand onto his bare back again. They trail it from Hoseok’s waist down to his hip and onto his stomach, scratching their short nails over his abs. It gets them a weak moan, Hoseok’s hips rolling against Jeongguk’s. “If you don’t touch my dick within the next five minutes, I will fucking cry.”

“That worked up already?” Hoseok chuckles. He doesn’t give Jeongguk any time to respond, licking into their mouth and pulling their hips closer against his own. He starts rutting against Jeongguk’s crotch properly now, matching Jeongguk’s rhythm to the point where they feel weak in the knees, fearing their own legs might give out under them.

A deep whimper leaves them when Hoseok nibbles on their bottom lip, dragging his mouth down to their jaw and then their neck. He sucks on their pulse again, just like the last time they dry humped each other like horny teenagers, and something about it makes Jeongguk chuckle hoarsely. With a hand fisted into Hoseok’s shirt, they pull the two of them backwards, leaning their head back to make more room for Hoseok to suck and lick on.

Jeongguk keeps dragging them through the hallway until they reach the door to their bedroom, pushing themself and Hoseok into the room. Hoseok is ready to drag them to the bed already, and Jeongguk gasps as they try to stop him.

“Wait, ah, need to—need to close the door—”

“There’s no one but us, love,” Hoseok murmurs, licking a long stripe up the side of Jeongguk’s neck.

Jeongguk shudders, losing themself in their arousal for a moment. They drag Hoseok’s head up, clashing their mouths together hungrily. It’s only when they hear the soft sound of paws hitting the floor that they remember what they wanted to do, forcing themself to separate from Hoseok. “Bam,” they breathe out. “Need to close the door.”

“Bam is a dog,” Hoseok laughs. He lets go of Jeongguk long enough for them to close the door anyway, immediately pulling them back into his arms as soon as they are done.

“Bam is my child,” Jeongguk says, smiling as Hoseok laughs again. “I refuse to traumatize him by letting him watch me have sex.”

They lean forward to swallow Hoseok’s giggles right out of his mouth, tasting them on their tongue. Hoseok hums into the kiss and walks the two of them backwards until they finally reach the bed, letting them fall back onto the mattress. Jeongguk laughs against him, catching themself with a hand next to Hoseok’s head.

Hoseok’s lips find their neck again, and Jeongguk can’t help but rut their hips down against Hoseok’s. The friction against their dick is dry in a way that is just as painful as it is good, and they do it again, exhaling shakily. Hoseok’s hand cups the back of their nape, his hips lifting off the mattress to meet Jeongguk’s weak thrusts.

“Hoseok-ah,” Jeongguk whimpers breathlessly. “Touch me. Please, touch me.”

“Don’t need to beg,” Hoseok slurs, biting their collarbone. “Never need to beg with me. Gonna give you everything you want. Just need to tell me how. My hand? My mouth? Tell me what you want.”

Jeongguk moans at the thought of Hoseok’s lips on their dick, imagining the wet warmth wrapped all around them, thinking about how tight and good Hoseok’s throat would feel. It would be fucking amazing, better than anything they have ever felt before. But they shake their head anyway, shivering when Hoseok’s fingertips ghost over their happy trail, toying with the waistband of their pants.

“Come on, baby,” Hoseok whispers against their ear, tugging on the dangling earrings there with his teeth. “Let me make you feel good.”

“Your hand,” Jeongguk finally gasps out. They open their eyes, only now realizing that they closed them to begin with. Meeting Hoseok’s gaze, they rut their hips against his again, breathing out a shuddering moan. “Want your hand on me, and wanna put my hands on you. Wanna feel you all over me. Please?”

“Anything you want, gorgeous.”

Hoseok turns the two of them around quickly, Jeongguk’s back hitting the mattress with a soft thud . Their cock twitches at the simple display of strength, and they moan again just at the thought of what else Hoseok could do to them. Hoseok leans down to kiss them again, fisting the fabric of their shirt in his hands before he pulls it over their head. Jeongguk’s nipples immediately harden under Hoseok’s stare, and they feel shy all of a sudden, playing with the piercing in their bottom lip.

“Beautiful,” Hoseok whispers, letting his eyes run all over Jeongguk’s exposed torso. “You’re beautiful. My gorgeous baby.”

Jeongguk suppresses a shiver at the words, tugging at Hoseok’s shirt so that he’ll take it off as well. Hoseok does so immediately, and now it’s Jeongguk’s turn to stare, admiring the gentle softness of his belly and the tattoos on his skin. Slowly, they drag the tips of their fingers up Hoseok’s side, over his stomach and up to his chest before they trail down again, reaching the button on his jeans.

“May I?” Jeongguk asks, looking into Hoseok’s eyes. There is no sign of hesitation or uncertainty in them as he nods, and so Jeongguk opens them, the zipper rolling down on all its own from the pressure of the bulge there. Something about the sight makes Jeongguk’s cock twitch and they’re sure there’s precum pooling in their underwear already, sticky and wet.

For now, however, they drag Hoseok’s jeans down his legs together with his boxer shorts, letting go of him briefly so that he can take them off properly, throwing them onto the floor without a care. Then, with Hoseok back between their legs, Jeongguk puts their hand over his stomach again, slowly moving it down to his dick. It’s fully hard already, a bit of precum oozing out from the tip. It has a curve to it that Jeongguk finds strangely beautiful, and thinking about feeling that inside of them one day arouses them so much that they feel drool pooling in their mouth.

They loosely form their hand in a fist around Hoseok’s cock, reveling in the way his hips thrust into their grip brokenly. With their empty hand on Hoseok’s hips, Jeongguk tightens their fist, slowly stroking up and down Hoseok’s length. They swipe their thumb over the head, smearing the precum around in circles before moving down again. Hoseok makes a pleased sound, his hips weakly kicking into Jeongguk’s hold again.

“Wanna touch you, too,” he whispers, his voice tight and dripping with want. Jeongguk looks up at him, and somehow they can’t help but lean up on an elbow, pulling Hoseok down into a kiss. His lips are still wet and red from how much Jeongguk bit them. They do it again, soothing over the sting with their tongue immediately after. When Jeongguk starts stroking his dick again, he moans, pushing his tongue into Jeongguk’s mouth.

They separate after a moment, and Jeongguk forces themself to let go of Hoseok’s cock. Hoseok kisses them again briefly before he puts his hand onto Jeongguk’s jeans, waiting for them to nod before he opens the button, pulling down the zipper afterwards. He’s just as slow as Jeongguk was, taking his time as he drags the pants down their legs together with their underwear. Just like Jeongguk thought, the head of their cock is sticky with precum already, a wet spot on their underwear.

Hoseok doesn’t seem to mind though. His eyes get darker as soon as he sees it, a deep groan leaving his throat. He pulls Jeongguk’s clothes down their legs, throwing them onto the floor carelessly before he bends down, pressing a wet kiss to the inside of their knee. Jeongguk gasps, threading their fingers into Hoseok’s hair.

“You’re so hot,” Hoseok murmurs into their thigh, his hand wrapping around the muscles there. His pink and blue nails against Jeongguk’s skin, combined with his thin and long fingers, make Jeongguk breathe out a moan, the heat in their belly spreading lower. “Can’t believe I get to have you like this.”

“Hoseok-ah,” Jeongguk pants. “Please, please, touch me.”

“Told you there’s no need to beg with me, love,” Hoseok says, finally taking Jeongguk’s dick into his hand. Jeongguk moans out loud immediately, their hips kicking up to chase the touch even though Hoseok’s fingers are still tightly wrapped around them. “Shh, I got you. I got you, Jeongguk-ah, gonna make you feel so good.”

“You—” Jeongguk gasps as Hoseok starts moving his hand up and down, slowly stroking their cock, the friction dry but so, so good. “You already are, ah—”

Hoseok kisses his way up Jeongguk’s body, pressing one kiss after another over their hips and stomach up to their chest and their neck before he finally reaches their mouth again. Jeongguk immediately connects their lips, moving their hand to Hoseok’s neck to feel the strong pulse of his heart against their palm. They whine when Hoseok licks into their mouth, letting him suck on the piercing in their bottom lip.

“Oh God,” they shakily get out, their hips thrusting up into Hoseok’s fist. “Lemme—Wanna touch you, too, let me touch you, too, I’m—”

Hoseok chuckles into their kiss and it sounds so endeared that Jeongguk can’t even feel offended. They move a trembling hand onto Hoseok’s cock, tightening their fist around it before they start stroking up and down, trying to match Hoseok’s pace. Hoseok hisses behind clenched teeth, sitting up on his knees. Jeongguk is just about to ask what’s wrong when Hoseok takes their hand off his cock only to spit into their palm, closing their hand back around his dick. He repeats the same action on himself, continuing to stroke Jeongguk with wet fingers, the glide smoother and quicker.

“Fuck, that was so hot,” Jeongguk groans. They tighten their grip on Hoseok’s length, moving it up and down quickly, squeezing every time they reach the head.

Hoseok laughs again, the sound quickly tapering off into a deep moan. “Want me to do it again?”

“Shut up,” Jeongguk says, using their grip on Hoseok’s neck to pull him down into another wet kiss, more tongue and teeth than lips. Neither of them seem to mind though, Hoseok’s hips beginning to roll into Jeongguk’s grip. Jeongguk gasps against Hoseok again when he swipes his thumb over the head of their cock, dragging his fingers down and up again before repeating the action.

It makes Jeongguk feel weak in the knees and they’re sure that if they weren’t lying down, their legs would have given up underneath them for sure. Like this, however, the movement makes them feel shaky, losing themself in the pleasure to the point where they can barely concentrate on stroking Hoseok’s dick anymore. One moan after another leaves their lips, and they thrust up into Hoseok’s fist, suck on the skin just beneath his jaw when the heat in their belly starts to tighten.

“Close,” Jeongguk whimpers, trying to move their trembling hand over Hoseok’s cock again. Hoseok pants against the side of their head, rolling his hips out of Jeongguk’s fist and into his own instead, holding both Jeongguk’s dick as well as his own one now. The added warmth and friction makes Jeongguk keen, their entire body starting to shake. “Fuck, fuck, Seok-ah, ‘m so close already, fuck.”

“Me too,” Hoseok gasps, his voice wet and hoarse, “me too, baby, you feel so good, sound so good, so perfect. Wanna see you come again, sounded so beautiful last time, so fucking hot. Think you can do that for me, gorgeous? Come all over your pretty self?”

“Oh God, I—Fuck, fuck, fuck, Seok-ah, fuck—”

Jeongguk whimpers high in their throat, the pleasure building and building and building until it finally erupts, pushing Jeongguk over the edge so hard that every single muscle in their body trembles with it, one moan after another falling from their lips. A sob catches in their throat, escaping as Hoseok comes too, spilling onto their stomach as well. He curses under his breath, pressing open-mouthed kisses against Jeongguk’s neck, continuing to stroke their dicks until Jeongguk whines in overstimulation.

“Oh God,” they exhale again, their lungs burning with the need for air.

Hoseok chuckles, his chest vibrating right against Jeongguk’s. “Fuck, you’re incredible.”

“Am not,” Jeongguk pants. They loosen their grip on Hoseok’s hips, slowly moving their trembling hand up and down his sweaty back. “You, though. You’re fucking amazing. Made me feel so good I forgot how to give someone a handjob. Made me see stars and all that shit. I can’t even feel my fucking legs right now, what the fuck.”

“Ah, the power of a good orgasm,” Hoseok laughs, pushing himself up with his clean hand beside Jeongguk’s head to be able to kiss them. “You sounded so hot when you came. Saying my name like that… Ah, just thinking about it makes me feel horny again.”

“Shut up, oh my God.” Jeongguk’s cheeks heat up, a blush spreading all the way from their face down to their neck and chest.

“My little cherry tomato,” Hoseok smiles, pecking Jeongguk’s lips again. Jeongguk playfully shoves his shoulder, falling into a fit of laughter when it actually makes Hoseok lose his balance above them. Hoseok joins them easily, leaving a series of kisses on their neck and face. He moves the hair out of Jeongguk’s eyes, stroking the knuckles of his fingers against their cheekbone. “Thank you for letting me have you like this.”

“Ah, what’s that supposed to mean?” Jeongguk giggles.

“Just that I’m grateful for your trust in me,” he shrugs, a tender smile forming on his lips. “And that I’m also grateful that I can trust you like this. Sex hasn’t always been easy for me. I’ve felt insecure a lot in the past, scared to open myself up to someone like this. But with you, everything is so easy, and feels so right. I don’t fear vulnerability when I’m with you. I don’t know, maybe this doesn’t make sense to anyone but me, but being vulnerable around you feels safe, and comfortable. I’ve never felt like this with someone before. So thank you for being you, I guess. And for letting me into your life like this.”

Jeongguk’s heart throbs in their chest, that same emotion that’s deeply anchored to it tugging at it. It makes a knot form in their throat and tears spring to their eyes, a feeling spreading through their chest that’s so strong that they fear it’s the only thing left in them.

They cup a hand around Hoseok’s cheek and smooth a thumb over his cheek, putting their other hand around Hoseok’s own one to lead it to their chest. For a moment, Jeongguk just lets him feel it, warm skin and soft muscles over a strongly beating heart, shaped around an emotion they couldn’t put into words no matter how hard they tried to. But it’s right there, under layers and layers of their being that all belong to none other than Hoseok, Jeongguk’s heart and soul all his to keep.

“I don’t fear vulnerability either when I’m with you,” they whisper, lacing their fingers together with Hoseok’s. “I embrace it in ways I never have before, and it’s all because of you. All because of how safe you make me feel, because of how good and right and easy it feels to be with you. I’ve been scared for years to allow someone into my heart again because of who I am, but with you, it’s like there was no reason to be afraid to begin with. Because you accept me just the way I am, and you take me for who I am, no judgment, no questions. So thank you for being you and for making it so easy to be me when I’m with you. You have no idea how much you mean to me.”

Hoseok blinks at them, his eyes getting wet with unshed tears. He leans into Jeongguk’s touch, hiding his face in their palm for a moment. Then, with the ghost of a kiss pressed against their wrist, he leans down to touch his forehead to Jeongguk’s, exhaling a soft kiss onto their lips.

“I really wish there was a way to express just what I feel for you, but no human has ever come close to describing it,” Jeongguk breathes against Hoseok’s mouth. “Please believe me when I say that you mean more to me than I’ll ever be able to put into words. You’re everything to me, Hoseok-ah. Absolutely everything.”

A tear falls onto Jeongguk’s cheek, and they swipe their thumb over Hoseok’s face, trying to wipe them away. Hoseok inhales shakily against them, pressing his hand into their chest. “You mean so incredibly much to me, Jeongguk-ah, Thank you for being you.”

Jeongguk kisses him again, soft and slow. It’s a gentle touch, full of care and trust. Jeongguk strokes their hand down Hoseok’s cheek and holds him as close as they can.

///

Jeongguk bows to the cashier in thanks, picking the records off the counter before leaving the store. They put the vinyls into a tote bag carefully on their way to the train station, adjusting the strap on their shoulder as they pick their phone out of their jeans pocket. With a few quick clicks, they dial Hoseok’s number, smiling as soon as he picks up.

"Hey, beautiful,” Hoseok says brightly.

“Hello yourself, sunshine,” Jeongguk responds. “Are you still at work? The session was supposed to finish half an hour ago, right?”

“Ah, yeah, but I had to change some stuff on the design and that took a bit longer than expected. We’re taking a small break right now but I think we should be done within the next hour. Scheduled in a spontaneous touch-up session for 4 PM, though. Why do you ask?”

“Wanted to know where I had to go,” they say, walking up the stairs to the train. “I have a little surprise for you.”

“Another flower you don’t want to tell me the name and meaning of?” Hoseok chuckles.

Jeongguk rolls their eyes fondly, arriving on the platform just as the train rolls onto the tracks. “It’s not a surprise if you’re expecting it. But no, I’m not talking about a flower. You’ll see when I get there.”

“Alright,” Hoseok says, and Jeongguk can hear the smile in his voice. “Might still be in the middle of tattooing when you get here, though, so I might not be able to pay much attention to you.”

“Ah, I’ll survive. See you in a bit?”

“See you, love.”

Jeongguk ends the phone call and gets onto the train, not bothering to find a seat since they need to get off again after two stops anyway. They look at the records in their tote bag, hoping that they’re right and that Hoseok really hasn’t somehow gotten his hands onto them yet. They don’t recall seeing them in any of the boxes in Hoseok’s apartment, and they went through all of them together with Hoseok several times already.

The two of them listen to new albums every time Jeongguk is at his place, and Jeongguk has listened to almost everything he owns by now. The vinyls they got today are albums that Jeongguk themself love and have shown to Hoseok, albums that he didn’t know and enjoyed a lot. Jeongguk only hopes that they’re right and that Hoseok will be happy about a small gift like that.

Before they know it, the train rolls into their stop, and they get off together with a bunch of other people. Jeongguk walks past the tattoo shop to pay another small visit to Hyejin, buying lilacs this time. She smiles knowingly, and wishes them a nice date. Jeongguk bows to her in gratitude, and walks out of the shop, heading straight to the tattoo parlour this time.

They can hear the buzzing of tattoo machines as soon as they step into the shop, spotting Hoseok bent over someone’s thigh somewhere towards the back. For a moment, they just stand there, watching him work. When another person comes in behind them, though, they move out of the way and towards Hoseok, keeping their steps light and slow.

Hoseok’s client looks at them, someone who Hoseok has tattooed multiple times already. She recognizes Jeongguk and smiles at them, waiting for Hoseok to swipe away excess ink from her leg before she greets them. Hoseok immediately turns around, his eyes crinkling around a smile.

“Hello, handsome,” he says, leaning his head towards Jeongguk. “Kiss?”

Jeongguk laughs, pulling the strap of Hoseok’s face mask from around his ear before pressing a quick peck to his lips. They immediately put the mask back on afterwards, ignoring the fake hurt look in Hoseok’s eyes. “Don’t let me stop you two. Is Tae in the back?”

“Yeah, he’s eating lunch right now. Why? You wanna join him?”

“Sounds better than standing here and watching you work, so yeah, guess I’ll have my date with him instead.”

“Ouch,” Hoseok says, pretending to clutch at his chest without actually doing so. “And I thought what we had was special.”

Jeongguk laughs and presses a kiss to Hoseok’s hair, walking into the kitchen afterwards. They find Taehyung sitting on one of the chairs there, his phone propped up against a bottle as he seems to be watching something. He stops the video as soon as he sees Jeongguk, though, holding up his instant ramen as a greeting.

“Hello, hello,” he smiles, shoving another chair back with his foot to make space for Jeongguk. “Here to visit Hoseokie?”

“As soon as he’s done, yeah. What are you up to? Got a client in a bit?”

Taehyung nods excitedly, closing the open tab on his phone to click onto an art app instead, turning the screen so that Jeongguk can look at it. He explains the design to them and what the client asked of him, talking about how cool the idea is and how he can’t wait to tattoo it later. He shows Jeongguk some other designs he did today, a bunch of small tattoos someone wanted to get as gap fillers, and somehow, the conversation leads to Jeongguk’s own tattoos, and whether Taehyung is allowed to tattoo them one day or not.

“Trying to get under Jeonggukie’s skin before me? That’s truly a different kind of betrayal, Taehyung-ah.”

Jeongguk turns around to look at the door to the kitchen, smiling once they see Hoseok there. He combs a hand through his hair and steps up to where Jeongguk is sitting, bending down to hug them from behind.

“Hey,” Taehyung says, throwing his hands next to his head in a defensive pose. “It’s not my fault they like me more than you.”

Hoseok gaps in mock offense, and Jeongguk laughs, pressing a wet kiss against the back of his hand. Hoseok joins in quietly, and Taehyung smiles at the two of them. He stands up with an exaggerated sigh, throwing his empty ramen box into the trash can.

“I need to set up my stuff now, but you two have fun, I guess.” He ruffles Jeongguk’s hair as he walks past them and out of the kitchen, leaving Jeongguk and Hoseok alone.

Jeongguk turns their head to the side, puckering their lips out for Hoseok to kiss them. He does so, quick and soft, before he walks around them to sit on Taehyung’s chair. With his hands on either side of Jeongguk’s hips, Hoseok pulls their stool closer to himself, their knee ending up between Hoseok’s thigh.

“Woah,” they breathe out, staring wide-eyed at Hoseok. “Since when can you do that?”

“Since my hot date is sitting too far across from me,” Hoseok smiles cheekily. He bridges the gap between them to kiss Jeongguk again, a bit longer than before. “How was your day, love?”

“Good. It was good. Pretty normal, I think?” Jeongguk wets their lips, tasting the remains of Hoseok’s honeyed lip balm on them. “Oh, uhm, I got you something!”

They pick the lilac off the table, showing it to Hoseok for a second before they put it behind his ear. The purple looks good against his skin, soft and warm. Hoseok smiles at them, lifting up one of their hands to peck their knuckles. They’re as smooth as Hoseok’s own skin by now, all the hand cream they keep applying for Hoseok finally doing its job.

“Thank you, Jeongguk-ah,” Hoseok says softly. “What kind of flower is it this time?”

Jeongguk averts their gaze shyly, gently shaking their head. “That’s a secret for now.”

“Alright,” Hoseok accepts easily. “So it was a flower you got for me after all.”

“Ah, no. The flower is bare minimum by now. No, what I actually got you is this.” Hesitantly, Jeongguk pulls the two vinyls out of their tote bag, holding them out for Hoseok to take.

Hoseok looks down at them immediately, a big smile immediately parting his lips as he sees the covers and names on them. “You got me Naaz and Adamlar?”

“Yeah,” Jeongguk exhales. Hoseok takes the vinyls into his hands, turning them around to look at the tracklists on the back.

“Jeongguk-ah, this is so cool! How did you even find these, I thought the store didn’t have them?”

“Ah, I asked the cashier if there was any way she could get them delivered for me,” Jeongguk says, scratching their nose. “I think she has a crush on me and that’s why she did it. I don’t think she knows we’re dating. Or maybe she does, I don’t know. But she got her hands on them for me anyway and texted me earlier today that they finally arrived so I went there and picked them up.”

“You’re amazing, what the fuck.” Hoseok presses the vinyls against his chest with one hand, cupping the other one around Jeongguk’s nape to pull them into an excited kiss. “God, I can’t believe you did that. And they’re even brand new, are you kidding me? I can’t wait to listen to them with you, this is the coolest shit ever.”

Jeongguk laughs, smoothing a hand up and down Hoseok’s arm. “Baby, you have another client in fifteen minutes. I don’t think you can cancel on them for a couple albums.”

“Shit, you’re right, I totally forgot about that.” Hoseok sighs, biting the inside of his cheek visibly, his head hung low. He straightens back up a second later, his eyes full of excited hope. “Tomorrow though? Wanna listen to them with you together the first time.”

“Or,” Jeongguk says, “I can go home, pick up Bam and some of his stuff, and come back here to wait till you’re done so that we can go to your apartment together. Does that sound okay to you?”

“Sounds fucking amazing, oh my God. Thank you so much, Jeongguk-ah. You’re amazing, you know that, right?” Hoseok trails his fingers into the hair at the back of Jeongguk’s head, scratching against their scalp with his short nails. He kisses the corner of Jeongguk’s mouth softly. “Seriously, thank you. I really appreciate it a lot.”

“I know.” Jeongguk smiles. “You should eat now. I fried some leftover rice with eggs for you.”

///

Jeongguk huffs out a sigh, wiping sweat away from their forehead with a paper towel. It’s only the end of July, but Jeongguk already feels like they are going to melt, worried that the height of summer in August will turn them into nothing but a puddle of their own sweat.

Seokjin doesn’t seem to feel the heat as much as them despite standing near the oven, decorating donuts while new ones are getting baked. He sings along to Jeongguk’s music, a playlist Hoseok made for them, and laughs once he sees the state Jeongguk is in.

“Yah, Jeongguk-ah!” He exclaims, throwing a kitchen towel at them. “If these donuts end up tasting sweaty because of you I will fire you”

“I’m not even anywhere near them, calm down,” Jeongguk says.

They pick the towel off the floor and fold it, putting it down next to their laptop so that they’ll remember to throw it into the laundry basket the next time they get up. Which might not be for a while, because they are ordering new ingredients for the cake shop, sitting on an empty plastic box with their laptop on their knees. It’s just before 7 AM, both of them working semi-quietly. Since Seokjin’s baking-partner is sick, Jeongguk will have to cover for her once they’re done buying everything the shop needs, not really looking forward to getting even sweatier.

“Hey, how come you’re not sweating like a pig?” Jeongguk asks, glancing at Seokjin briefly. “It’s almost thirty degrees outside and even more in here because of the stupid oven. We should really get a fan or something, the customers will sweat their balls off if they spend even a single second in here.”

“My customers have never complained before and they also won’t start now. The donuts are too delicious for that.”

“Well, your employees are complaining. Don’t you think you should listen to what they have to say?”

“No one except for you is, so I don’t see how that’s my problem” Seokjin says, raising an eyebrow at them. Jeongguk is tempted to throw the dirty towel back at him, only deciding against it in the end because they don’t want to accidentally hit the donuts. Seokjin looks down at the sweets again, the playful tone out of his voice when he talks next. “How are things with Hoseok? I haven’t seen him in a while.”

“Oh,” Jeongguk breathes out softly, taking their eyes off their laptop. “Everything is amazing. Better than amazing. God, Seokjin-ah, he’s so good, it’s unreal. I’ve never met someone so caring and genuine before. He’s wonderful. Everything feels right with him. It’s difficult to explain.”

“Yeah? No issues whatsoever?”

“Absolutely none,” Jeongguk says. “I’ve never been so happy in a relationship before, Jin-ah. Never. I think he might actually be the one for me.”

Seokjin halts in his movements, meeting Jeongguk’s eyes. “The one with capital letters or, like—”

“Yeah,” Jeongguk nods. “With capital letters. The one I want to spend the rest of my life with, or for however long he’s willing to have me. And I know it hasn’t even been full five months yet but, Seokjin-ah, I’m being so serious when I say I’ve never felt for anyone what I feel for him. He means a lot to me. And I can feel that I mean a lot to him, too.”

Seokjin smiles at them. “I’m glad, Jeongguk-ah. After your last relationship ended I was really worried you wouldn’t find the courage to try again. But seeing you with Hoseok now… I’m glad it’s him. Because I can also tell how much he cares about you, and I barely know the guy.”

“Yeah,” Jeongguk laughs, combing a hand through their hair. “He really does.”

They smile at the ground, thinking about Hoseok and how he said the earth spins whenever he’s with Jeongguk, just like it should. How things feel right with them, and easy. How vulnerability doesn’t feel scary anymore.

Their heart throbs, and they wish they could be with him right now, feeling his soft body in their arms, cuddled up on bed with an album playing in the background. It’s been a few days now since the two of them last slept side by side, and Jeongguk misses it a lot already. But Hoseok has been busy with clients and Jeongguk has been busy helping out in the bakery and in the actual shop.

The amount of customers the cake shop gets has more than tripled again now that it’s summer and people actually leave their homes for more than just work and grocery runs, and there’s a lot more to be taken care of now than during winter and spring. Hoseok is also getting more clients now, especially since one of his tattoos on Instagram has made its rounds around what feels like half of South Korea. He still tries to come over to the cake shop for a minute or two during every shift Jeongguk has, and Jeongguk still tries to stop by the tattoo shop on their way back home or stays to watch him work.

Sometimes, the two of them go home to one of their apartments afterwards, lazily making out on the couch with a show on TV that neither of them are really paying attention to. Other times, they use the small breaks they have inbetween their busy schedules to sit outside on a park bench and talk, soaking up the sun as they revel in each other’s company.

Lately though, over the past three to four days, Hoseok has been so caught up in a project that it’s been eating him up, almost all of his free time spent at the tattoo studio or with Jeongguk behind the counter at the cake shop, bent over his tablet to draw. It’s a piece for a client who’s flying in from Australia, meant to go from his nape to his back and down to just above his tailbone. It’s something that would take several sessions over the span of a few months for most people, but this guy is only staying in Seoul for a week before he needs to fly back to Australia, and Hoseok has been so stressed out about perfecting every single detail of the piece that he’s barely been getting any sleep.

He only eats when Jeongguk brings him something and only lets go of his tablet to sleep when Jeongguk is there to force him to. Since Jeongguk has been taking over more baking shifts and cashier shifts now, too, though, they have barely found the time to take care of themselves, let alone Hoseok as well, and it’s taken a toll on both of them.

“Hey, would it be alright if I took a small break around ten to go see Hoseok real quick?” Jeongguk asks Seokjin, swiping their pointer finger over the touch-pad of their laptop to wake up the screen.

“No,” Seokjin replies in a monotone voice, throwing sprinkles all over the chocolate glazed donuts.

Jeongguk rolls their eyes in fake-annoyance. “What are you gonna do if I leave anyway? Throw me out?”

“I’ll fire you, is what I’ll do.”

“Sure, Jan,” Jeongguk replies, going back to adding bags of sugar to the basket.

“Hey, love,” Jeongguk whispers, softly pecking Hoseok’s cheek in order to wake him up. He’s leant over the desk in the kitchen of the tattoo shop, his face squished against his own arm.

With a deep groan, Hoseok’s eyes flutter open, his back making a cracking sound as he tries to straighten up. “Gguk-ah?”

“Yeah, it’s me, sunshine. How was your nap?” Jeongguk helps Hoseok sit up properly, combing a hand through his hair. He has dried drool on the corner of his mouth, but Jeongguk kisses him anyway, short and gentle.

“Didn’t mean to fall ‘sleep,” Hoseok murmurs. He drags a hand over his face weakly, and it’s clear that he’s struggling to stay awake. Jeongguk’s heart aches inside their chest. “Wha’ time’s it?”

“Just after 3 PM,” Jeongguk says quietly. “I was here a few hours ago already. Do you remember?”

Hoseok blinks, forcing his eyes to open. A yawn escapes him, and he tries to speak around it, chuckling when he realizes Jeongguk couldn’t understand a single word. “Yeah, yeah, I do. Did you—” Another yawn, this one longer and stronger. “Did you finish baking?”

“Yeah, took a bit longer than expected, though. What about you? Have you taken any breaks since I came around at ten?” Jeongguk moves their hand from Hoseok’s hair down to his neck, carefully massaging the stiff muscles there. Hoseok sighs, closing his eyes again for a moment.

“Does my nap count?” he asks.

Jeongguk shakes their head, licking their lips to wet them. “Not if you didn’t mean to take one, no.”

“Ah,” Hoseok makes, looking at Jeongguk. There are bags under his eyes and stubbles on his chin that are at least a day or two old at this point. Jeongguk swipes their thumb over the skin there. “Can’t afford to take breaks anyway, though.”

“Yes, you can, Seok-ah. And you should. When was the last time you slept for more than just a couple hours?” Jeongguk asks.

Hoseok’s eyebrows furrow, obviously trying to remember how long it’s been already. Jeongguk sighs and takes one of Hoseok’s hands into their own, lacing their fingers together. They press a kiss to his knuckles, his wrist stiff from how much he’s been drawing.

“Come on,” Jeongguk whispers against his skin. “I’m taking you home with me.”

“No,” Hoseok says, weakly shaking his head. It looks like that simple movement already affords more energy than he can muster, and he leans his head forward, his eyes half-lidded with how tired he is. “No, I, ah, I can’t. Need to finish the drawing first.”

“Baby, you finished this drawing over a week ago. You haven’t taken a single break from it since you started it,” Jeongguk responds softly. “There’s nothing left for you to work on.”

“No, no, the shoulders. Uhm, I need to go over the shoulders again, make sure the details are good.” Hoseok is almost slurring his words at this point, sleep threatening to pull him under again. He forces his eyes open, running a hand over his face again. “Yeah, the shoulders, I just need to… need to…”

“What you need is sleep, some food, and a break.”

Hoseok shakes his head, and Jeongguk cups their hands around his face, holding him gently and carefully. There are tears in Hoseok’s eyes, and Jeongguk’s heart absolutely breaks at how exhausted and tired he looks.

“Let me take care of you,” they whisper, stroking their thumbs under his eyes, right where the tears have gathered. “Please? It’s your free day today, I checked your schedule several times already. You’re only hurting yourself, love. So let me take care of you, please. Let me take you home?”

A shaky exhale escapes Hoseok, his eyes closing as he nods weakly. The tears begin to flow down his cheeks, no sobs accompanying them. Jeongguk’s heart breaks, and they take a step closer to Hoseok to hold him, softly pressing his head into the soft fabric of their shirt.

“I’m so tired, Jeongguk-ah,” Hoseok murmurs against their chest, his voice quiet and raw. “So, so tired.”

“I know, sunshine,” Jeongguk replies. They press a kiss to Hoseok’s hair, combing through the strands before cupping their hand around his nape again. “I know.”

The two of them stay like that for a moment longer, Hoseok leaning against Jeongguk while Jeongguk tries to offer as much comfort as they can. Then, once Hoseok’s tears have dried, Jeongguk puts some space between them, just enough for them to be able to help Hoseok get up without falling to his knees from how exhausted he is.

They help Hoseok wash his face in the kitchen sink, drying his wet cheeks softly with a paper towel before putting an arm around his waist, slowly leading him out of the tattoo shop and towards the train station. Jeongguk makes sure Hoseok gets a seat once the two of them are in one of the cars, keeping a hand constantly on his back or shoulder to make sure he can stay upright on his own.

The walk to Jeongguk’s home afterwards takes twice as long as usual, Hoseok too tired to move properly. Once they’re inside the apartment, though, Hoseok moves to the couch, ready to fall right into it. Jeongguk softly stops him, tightening their hand around his waist.

“Shower and food first?” They ask quietly.

Hoseok nods, the look in his eyes almost empty. Jeongguk slowly leads the two of them to the bathroom, moving Hoseok to sit on the closed toilet seat as they pull out their phone. They order some food from Hoseok’s favourite restaurant, putting on one of Hoseok’s comfort playlists right after. It doesn’t have the same calming atmosphere to it that Hoseok’s records do, but it has to do for now, the music echoing over the tiled walls.

It’s with gentle hands and soft touches, then, that Jeongguk helps Hoseok out of his shirt and pants, his underwear and socks following right after. Jeongguk makes sure to take their own clothes off as well before they turn on the shower head, adjusting it to the temperature Hoseok likes the best.

Jeongguk pulls Hoseok under the stream first, allowing the hot water to wash away some of the exhaustion and loosen up his stiff muscles. Carefully, they tilt Hoseok’s head back to wet his hair before applying their own shampoo to it, making sure to massage it into his scalp and relieve him of the headache he must be having. Then, once it’s all rinsed out, they apply the conditioner and spread body wash all over their hands, starting at Hoseok’s shoulders, working their way down to his arms and the tips of his fingers.

Hoseok just watches them, silent. He allows Jeongguk to wash his back and his legs, standing still as they detach the showerhead from the pole to rinse the soap off his body. It’s only when Jeongguk tilts his head back to wash out the conditioner that he exhales shakily, one of his hands moving to Jeongguk’s hip.

“What if he doesn’t like it?” he asks slowly, so quiet that Jeongguk has to strain their ears to understand what he’s saying.

“The design?” Jeongguk questions, pushing the showerhead back into its place on the pole.

“Yeah,” Hoseok breathes out. His empty gaze finds Jeongguk’s. Exhaustion is still written all over his iris, the bags under his eyes even deeper than before. Somehow, there’s an edge to the expression in his eyes now though, something that looks like worry or fear. “What if it’s not good enough? He’s flying in from Australia just because of me. Because of this tattoo. What if I fuck it up? I should—I should get back to working on it, I need to smooth out the details on the shoulders, I need to—I need to go back to the studio, I shouldn’t have left, I’m—”

“Shh,” Jeongguk makes, their hands cupping Hoseok’s cheeks softly. He is breathing quickly, his fingers digging into Jeongguk’s skin. “You’re trapping yourself in it, Hoseok-ah. You’re getting stuck. Do you realize that? You’re getting stuck. The earth is still spinning, it never stopped, and it never will. So come back to me, love, alright? The earth is still moving. I got you. I got you, Seok-ah.”

Hoseok exhales a trembling breath, his bottom lip wobbling. Weakly, he nods once, and then again, a bit more sure than before. “Yeah,” he pants out, looking into Jeongguk’s eyes. “Yeah, you’re right. The earth is moving. You’re right. You’re right.”

Jeongguk nods and drags a hand down to Hoseok’s neck, cupping their palm over where his pulse is the strongest. It’s fast but slowing down more and more with every shaky inhale. Jeongguk nods again, and Hoseok closes his eyes, leaning forward to touch his forehead to Jeongguk’s.

“Sorry,” he breathes out, and then, right after, “thank you.”

“Always,” Jeongguk whispers, tilting their head back to leave a tender kiss on Hoseok’s lips. His pulse slows down even more at that, and Jeongguk does it again, Hoseok sighing into the kiss.

When they separate, it’s so that Jeongguk can finish rinsing out the conditioner in Hoseok’s hair, taking their time to comb through the strands. They turn the water off afterwards, getting out of the shower first to take a towel out of a cabinet, wrapping it tightly around Hoseok. Hoseok huffs out something that sounds close to a laugh, and Jeongguk can’t help but press a kiss to his naked shoulder, beginning to dry him off. With another towel, they dry Hoseok’s face and his hair, making sure to squeeze out as much water as possible so that no remaining drops will trail down his neck again.

Once that’s done, Jeongguk dries themself off, too, pecking Hoseok’s hand as they lead the two of them out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. They pick out comfortable but light clothes, pulling on a pair of briefs first before they help Hoseok get dressed. Just as they pull their own pajama pants on, the doorbell rings, their food finally there.

Jeongguk throws on a shirt as they walk to the door, paying the delivery person and bowing to her in thanks. Then, with a bag full of hot food in it, they go back to their bedroom, finding Hoseok seated on the edge of their bed.

“Let’s eat outside, come on.”

Gently, Jeongguk pulls Hoseok out onto the balcony with them, putting the plastic bag onto the table there. They sit down on the cushioned bench and without having to say something again, Hoseok sits down next to them, nuzzling into Jeongguk’s side. Jeongguk puts an arm around his waist and breathes a kiss onto the side of his head, gentle and warm.

“See that?” they ask, their lips moving against Hoseok’s skin. “The sun and the clouds? The birds flying around aimlessly? The leaves moving in the wind? All of that tells you the earth is still spinning, my love. If you ever get stuck in your own little bubble again, look outside and watch the world move. Breathe in the air around you and listen to the city, listen to the sounds of nature, and you’ll hear how alive everything is. You don’t need me to feel less trapped. You only need yourself for that.”

Hoseok makes a strangled sound somewhere at the back of his throat, hiding his face against their shoulder. His body trembles in Jeongguk’s hold, and they can’t help but pull him halfway into their lap, tightening their arms around his waist.

“I got you,” they murmur against Hoseok’s hair, kissing the damp strands. “Cry if you need to, I got you.”

A sob leaves Hoseok’s lips, his hand fisting the fabric of Jeongguk’s shirt. His face is pressed against their chest, his tears soaking into the fabric. Jeongguk can feel the wetness of it against their skin, and they rub a hand up and down Hoseok’s back soothingly, wanting nothing but to offer as much comfort as Hoseok needs.

“Let it out, Seok-ah, I’m right here.”

“I’m just—” Hoseok croaks out, “I’m s-so sorry for—”

“Shh, it’s alright,” Jeongguk says softly. “You don’t need to talk about it. You had a long, long week. Just rest now, okay?”

Hoseok sniffles, another sob wrecking through his body. He presses himself against Jeongguk tightly, staying in their arms until his tears die down and his limbs stop trembling. He looks even more exhausted now that he cried again, and Jeongguk leaves the whisper of kiss on his temple, wiping over his wet cheeks.

They hold a bottle of water up to Hoseok’s lips, making him drink half of it before they screw the lid back on it and put it onto the table. Then, they take the containers out of the plastic bag, the broth they ordered still seaming. There’s meat and vegetables in it, something that will hopefully give Hoseok back some energy.

It’s only once Hoseok has finished almost all of it that Jeongguk takes him back to bed. He curls up on his side immediately, Jeongguk draping themself over his back. With one last kiss to Hoseok’s nape, they pull the covers over the both of them, only closing their eyes when Hoseok finally falls asleep.

Jeongguk opens their eyes groggily, a groan stuck in their throat. It’s hot, and they are sweating, Hoseok’s body pressed tightly against theirs. It’s dark around them, the blinds opened to show a hint of stars outside. With a deep huff, they force themself to look at the clock: 4:21 AM. They need to get up for their baking shift soon.

Another groan escapes them, and they search for their phone under their pillow before remembering that they left it in the bathroom the day before. Reluctantly, they separate from Hoseok, slow and quiet to make sure they don’t wake him.

Once they’re in the bathroom, they grab their phone. The soft playlist they put on is still playing, the battery close to zero by now. Sighing, Jeongguk unlocks it, wanting to turn off their alarm before it rings when they notice the amount of unread messages they have, clicking onto the small icon instead. They’re all from Seokjin, sent some time in the afternoon.

Jeongguk has to read the messages twice before they start making sense to their sleep-muddled brain, but once they do, they exhale in relief. The coworker who was sick over the past week is finally feeling okay enough to come back to work again, meaning Jeongguk can enjoy today without a shift. They send Seokjin a quick thanks bye back, locking their phone and putting it back onto the washing machine.

Then, they walk back into their bedroom and crawl into bed again. Hoseok is lying on his stomach, his snores quiet and deep. Jeongguk smiles as they lie down on their side, putting an arm around Hoseok’s back again before drifting back to sleep.

When Jeongguk wakes up again, it’s only a few hours later, a couple minutes after 6 AM. The sun is already shining into the room, its warmth evident despite the closed windows. Jeongguk sighs, nuzzling into Hoseok’s shoulder comfortably.

They only get up when their bladder forces them to, trying to be as quiet as possible so that they won’t wake Hoseok up. After also washing their face and brushing their teeth, Jeongguk shoots Namjoon a text, asking when they can come over to pick Bam up. Namjoon replies within a few minutes, saying that he needs to leave for work around 7 AM and that he wouldn’t mind taking Bam with him again if Jeongguk can’t make it until then.

They tell Namjoon that they’ll be there soon, moving back to the doorway of their bedroom to watch Hoseok sleep soundly in their bed. He looks peaceful, the only sign of exhaustion on his face being the bags under his eyes that won’t disappear after just one night of good rest. But at least he’s finally sleeping again and Jeongguk doesn’t want to wake him up only to tell him that they’re gonna be gone for a bit.

Instead, they rip a page out of a notebook in their backpack, taking the first pen they can find to write a simple note onto it.

“Going to Namjoon’s and Yoongi’s to steal my dog back. Don’t miss me too much <3”

Jeongguk draws over the heart a few times, the sparkling pink colour of the pen giving it a nice touch. They put the piece of paper onto the kitchen table, deciding that the chances of Hoseok finding it there are the highest. Then, they unhook their keys from next to the door and leave.

Their friends only live a short ten minute walk away, and so the time passes quickly, Jeongguk finally reunited with Bam before they know it. They talk to Namjoon for a few minutes in the hallway of his apartment, agreeing to a picnic in the park on the weekend before they leave again. Jeongguk takes Bam for a walk, then, soaking up the sun and feeling the early morning breeze in their hair. They’re sweaty again by the time they’re back at their own apartment, shushing Bam’s excited noises so as to not wake Hoseok up.

It’s just after 7 AM, a bit early for Bam’s breakfast, so Jeongguk decides to take a shower first. Hoseok is still asleep when they’re done with it, and they only spend a few minutes in the bedroom with him, picking out new clothes to put on. They join Bam in the kitchen then, filling up his water bowl again and deciding to prepare some coffee for themself.

They only get started on breakfast once it’s half past seven, deciding on a simple omelet with tomatoes, spring onions and mushrooms in them. Their phone is lying on the counter next to the sink, plugged in to finally charge. One of Hoseok’s soft playlists is playing from the speakers in it, the volume low to let Hoseok sleep undisturbed for as long as possible.

It doesn’t seem to work much, though, because just as Jeongguk throws the beaten eggs into the pan, arms wrap around their waist, Hoseok’s warm body pressing against their back.

“Mh, smells amazing,” he says, his voice deep and groggy from sleep.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Jeongguk replies, a smile forming on their lips. They turn their head to the side for a kiss, and Hoseok connects their mouths briefly. “How did you sleep?”

“Like the fucking dead,” Hoseok says. He chuckles against Jeongguk’s neck and moves his hands under their shirt, trailing the tips of their fingers over the skin above their navel. It’s an innocent touch, soft and comforting. “How long was I asleep, anyway?”

“Almost fourteen hours, I think. Do you want to lie back down again?”

“What, and miss some precious time with you?” Hoseok asks. “Never. I haven’t felt this rested in ages. Maybe I should overwork myself more often to feel like a newborn baby afterwards.”

“If you don’t die first,” Jeongguk says, shoving their elbow playfully into Hoseok’s stomach. Hoseok huffs out a grunt, pinching the skin of Jeongguk’s belly between his fingers. Jeongguk laughs softly, moving the eggs around in the pan slowly. “I’m serious, though. Please don’t neglect yourself like that again.”

“I won’t. Or at least I’ll try not to.” Hoseok sighs quietly. “It’s just so difficult sometimes to not get stuck in my head about all those little details. That client is gonna be here in less than a week already and I’ve been staring at the design for days, trying to figure out what’s wrong about it. Not getting trapped seemed kind of impossible.”

Jeongguk turns the heat to the lowest setting, turning around in Hoseok’s hold to be able to look at him. “Talk to me next time you feel like that. Or talk to Taehyung or Jimin or anyone else if you don’t want it to be me. Just—Don’t let it get to this point again, please. You were falling asleep at work and crying because of how exhausted you were before you finally accepted my help. It should’ve never reached a point like that to begin with.”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” Hoseok says. He smooths a hand up Jeongguk’s spine, cupping the other one around their face softly. “I’m sorry, I should’ve said something sooner, you’re right. Thank you for taking care of me when I couldn’t do it myself. I… I would probably still be at the tattoo shop if it wasn’t for you. So thank you, I really needed that.”

“Always, Hoseok-ah. I’m just sorry I didn’t notice earlier just how bad it had actually gotten—”

“Don’t put this onto yourself please,” Hoseok interrupts softly. “It’s not your job to notice when I’m doing okay and when I’m treating myself like an ass. You did more than enough already. And I’m really grateful for it.”

Gently, he pulls Jeongguk into a kiss, connecting their lips in what feels like a whispered promise. Jeongguk combs their fingers through his hair, cupping their hand over his neck again, the skin there warm and soft.

Hoseok touches his forehead to Jeongguk’s when the two of them part, leaning forward again only a second later to peck the corner of their mouth, pressing a series of small kisses there. Jeongguk giggles, Hoseok’s stubble tickling their skin. 

“You feel like a cactus,” they laugh, swiping a thumb over his chin. “It feels kind of funny.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, does it bother you?” Hoseok asks in fake-concern, rubbing his face against Jeongguk’s on purpose. Jeongguk shrieks and tries to escape it, but Hoseok holds them tightly in his arms, chuckling fondly.

As soon as Hoseok stops, Jeongguk leans in for a kiss again, tasting Hoseok’s laughter in their mouth. After all the tears he cried yesterday, the sound of his happiness feels even more precious, making Jeongguk’s heart throb in their chest. Softly, they lick into his mouth, wanting to get even the last remains of it onto their tongue.

Hoseok sighs against them, their lips parting with a wet sound. He smiles at Jeongguk, his eyes shining with it. Warmth spreads through Jeongguk’s chest at the sight, the butterflies in their stomach starting to flutter around again. This time, however, it’s not full of excitement and nervous joy, no hint of anticipation in it. Instead, it’s gentle, connected to that emotion that is deeply anchored to their heart.

Jeongguk threads their fingers through Hoseok’s hair again, moving their hand down to his neck and over his spine. “I love being with you like this.”

Hoseok’s eyebrows furrow slightly. “What do you mean?”

“This,” Jeongguk says, cupping their hand around Hoseok’s waist. “Just you and me and nothing else. It makes me feel carefree, and light. I like it. I like you.”

“Well, I would surely hope so. Otherwise you kissing me wouldn’t really make much sense, no?” Hoseok chuckles.

“Ah, you know what I mean,” Jeongguk says. They smile, swiping a thumb over Hoseok’s pulse. “I can feel that you feel the same way about me, but we’ve still never really said it out loud. I’m not saying it now because I need it or want to change something, but just because I have run out of ways to express how much you mean to me, and I never want there to be a doubt about what I feel for you. You mean a lot to me, Hoseok-ah, and I like you more than the word can hold meaning to itself.”

The corners of Hoseok’s mouth lift up into a smile as well, so full of fondness that Jeongguk wants to kiss it off his lips and swallow it down into their lungs. “I like you, too, Jeongguk-ah. So much, in fact, that the word like feels too simple for what I actually feel for you. And I know you said you don’t want to change something, but I think I would really like to be able to call myself your boyfriend. Is that… Is that something you would be okay with?”

“Of course, Hoseok-ah. I would love you to be my boyfriend.” Jeongguk can’t help but finally lean forward, addicted to feeling Hoseok’s lips on their own. Hoseok returns the kiss only for a moment, scratching his nails down Jeongguk’s back when they part. Jeongguk smiles, suddenly remembering a conversation they had with Namjoon a while ago. “Namjoon called you my boyfriend a while ago, and I got so flustered that I felt like my entire face was burning.”

Hoseok laughs, the sound vibrating into Jeongguk where their chests touch. “Yeah? So it’s something you’ve been thinking of me as for a while now?”

“I don’t know, I guess so,” Jeongguk shrugs. “What do you refer to me as in that pretty head of yours?”

“My love, my baby, my Jeonggukie,” Hoseok muses, and Jeongguk chuckles, pecking his chin softly. “I never really gave you a label because I don’t know what you’d be comfortable with. Thought it would be best to open the conversation and ask you, so… What do you like?”

The warmth in Jeongguk’s chest spreads further into their heart, flowing into all of their veins. They press their hand against Hoseok’s back, pull him tighter and closer, breathe in his calming scent. “Hubby is good.”

“Ah, really?” Hoseok asks, an open expression on his face. “Husband doesn’t make you uncomfortable?”

“It’s more of a concept to me than an actual title or label,” they explain. “Boyfriend feels too gendered. But hubby is cool. Wifey as well. Or just, you know, yours .”

“Mine, yeah? I like that.” Hoseok kisses them, a sweet and long peck. “Are you sure you don’t mind husband, though? Doesn’t it feel too gendered either?”

“It’s kind of difficult to explain.”

“You wanna try anyway?”

Jeongguk breathes out a sigh, turning back around in Hoseok’s hold to finally finish making the omelet. It’s a bit dry by now, but Jeongguk tries to save it anyway, spreading the remaining fluid part of the egg around the pan. “Well, let me start by saying that gender is incredibly complicated to me.”

Hoseok nods against their back, trailing his palm over Jeongguk’s stomach again. His chin rests on Jeongguk’s shoulder, his breath hitting the side of their cheek.

“I don’t know how to describe this in a way that makes sense to anyone but me but even though I’m a man, I’m also not really one?” Jeongguk’s words taper off at the end, making it sound like a question. “I’m not agender, like Jimin, but at the same time I’m genderless. I’m not trans like Tae, but I’m also not what doctors said I was when I was born. People perceiving me as a man makes me feel dysphoric but my flat chest and penis don’t. And so sometimes words with specific associations don’t necessarily make me uncomfortable, especially when they’re more attached to a concept than an actual gender. What rather makes things difficult for me is other people.”

“You called it social dysphoria once, right?” Hoseok asks quietly. Jeongguk nods, flipping the egg around in the pan with a controlled flick of their wrist. Hoseok doesn’t like any part of an omelet still being wet when he eats it, and letting it sit on the stove from both sides helps with that.

“Yeah, social dysphoria. It’s like to some extent I’ll always be a man because of all the male experiences I have. Like, growing up with my parents forcing male stereotypes and expectations onto me and all that stuff. That’s not really something I’ll ever not have experienced,” Jeongguk says. “But at the same time I’m just… nothing. A genderless being floating around earth. A non-binary man. Just… someone. God, I don’t even know if this makes any sense to you.”

“Not everything we are and feel has to make sense for it to be real,” Hoseok responds softly.

“Yeah, I guess.” Jeongguk stares at the omelet for a moment before they move to get a plate out of a cabinet. They move the omelet onto the plate, turning around with Hoseok still pressed against their back to put it into the kitchen table. Hoseok doesn’t make any sign of separating from them any time soon, so they carefully sit down onto a chair with him behind them, making themself comfortable in his lap. They lean forward to put two slices of bread into the toaster, pressing them down into the machine. “I don’t know. It’s just so weird and difficult.”

“What is?” Hoseok asks, moving Jeongguk so that they’re sitting side-ways on his legs. The two of them can look at each other now, a soft expression on Hoseok’s face.

“Everything,” Jeongguk says, sighing. “I don’t like knowing that people outside look at me and automatically assume I’m a man just because I have short hair and a bare face and no nail polish and a flat chest. I know I could change some of that. Let my hair grow out or start painting my nails or whatever. But I don’t like myself like that. I like myself the way I am now, in ripped jeans and fun merch. I just hate that it fits into the stereotype of what a man looks like and that people therefore perceive me as one. That’s social dysphoria.”

The bread pops out of the toaster, a nice golden colour to it. Jeongguk moves it onto their own and Hoseok’s plate, beginning to spread butter onto Hoseok’s.

“I feel uncomfortable and dysphoric in public because of society’s views and assumptions, but here, with you or with my friends or alone, I feel good. Because I know you guys know I’m just me, and because I know you guys don’t perceive me as a man, and because you guys use the right pronouns for me.”

“Of course we respect that,” Hoseok says.

“Ah, no, see, it’s not about respecting it,” Jeongguk explains, shaking their head. “Not in this case. People on the street don’t know I’m genderqueer. And I can’t blame them for looking at me and assuming I’m a man. We were all taught from the moment we were born to associate specific things and traits with specific genders. Our brains do it automatically. God, even I do it despite hating it myself when people assume shit about me. So, yeah, it’s not about respecting it because they don’t even know it. It’s just—”

Jeongguk sighs, putting the bread down onto a plate. Hoseok moves his hand in soothing circles over their chest, trailing the fingers of his other one up and down their arm.

“I just wish people wouldn’t perceive me as male.” Jeongguk’s voice is quieter now, exhausted. “But no amount of loose shirts and skirts will make me seem more androgynous. I tried, and even if I had felt comfortable dressing like that, I could tell people were thinking of me as nothing but a man in women’s clothes. Which also sucks because clothes shouldn’t have a gender to begin with but the point is that I will never be able to hide or change my body enough for people to stop assuming I’m a man. And I also don’t want to. Like I said, I’m happy with how I currently look and style myself. I’m just unhappy with how it makes people think of me.”

“I’m sorry, my love,” Hoseok says, and Jeongguk can hear how much he means it. “I wish society would change its views so that you didn’t have to struggle so much with it.”

Jeongguk sighs. They lean into Hoseok’s touch, letting themself rest against his chest. “I know. I wish that, too.”

“Is there anything I can do to help ease your social dysphoria when we’re in public or at home?” Hoseok asks, pressing a gentle kiss behind Jeongguk’s ear.

Jeongguk smiles, cupping their hand around his neck. “Thank you, love, but it’s not something anyone can help me with. It’s just the way it is. Most days it’s not that bad anyway. But on some days I just feel so uncomfortable with it that the simple thought of someone perceiving me as a man makes me want to hide and cry until I dissolve into the void.”

“Baby…” Hoseok whispers sadly.

“Ah, Hoseok-ah, stop frowning,” Jeongguk says, flicking Hoseok’s chin gently. They smile softly as they smooth out the wrinkles on his forehead, pecking the same spot afterwards. “It’s fine, I promise. It’s nothing you need to worry about.”

“I want you to be happy, though.”

“I know, love,” Jeongguk replies, “but this isn’t something any of us can change. And I am happy. So don’t worry about it, alright?”

Hoseok drags his fingers up to Jeongguk’s shoulder, the touch gentle. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I promise. How did we even come up with this topic anyway? Wasn’t I calling you my boyfriend just a minute ago?”

“You were explaining the difference between boyfriend and husband to me,” Hoseok says.

“Ah, right.” Jeongguk snaps their fingers, nodding. “Like I said, husband feels less like a label and more like a concept. Sort of like daddy? And being your husband means I get to do something that no one else does.”

“What, sit on my lap while the breakfast you prepared gets cold?” Hoseok asks playfully, laughing when Jeongguk pokes his side. “Sorry, sorry. What is it? What do only you get to do?”

Jeongguk leans forward, pressing their lips against Hoseok’s gently. They comb their fingers through his hair, settling their hand on his nape afterwards. Parting from his mouth, Jeongguk leans towards Hoseok’s ear, exhaling shakily against it. “Only I get to call you yeobo.”

Hoseok turns so red so fast that Jeongguk can’t help but laugh at him in fondness, happy to finally have turned him into a cherry tomato for once.

///

Jeongguk gets Hoseok to take a break from the design for a bit, convincing him that staring at it for hours with no end is what has started to make it look weird, just like when you say the same word a dozen times in a row and it starts to sound off.

He doesn’t open the file for another two days, only looking at it again on Friday. Jeongguk watches him stare at it for a bit before starting to zoom in on details, smoothing out a few lines or adding some on other parts. He never works on it for more than fifteen minutes at once, fulfilling his promise of taking lots of breaks and not overworking himself.

It continues like that until Monday morning, and Jeongguk uses their break between their baking-shift and their evening cashier-shift that day to visit him. The appointment seems to be going well, Hoseok telling Jeongguk during a small break that the client absolutely loves the design and didn’t want a single thing to be changed. Seeing Hoseok so happy and relieved makes Jeongguk’s chest fill with warmth, and they can’t help but press kisses all over his face, tasting his giggles on their lips.

The week continues just like that, Hoseok working from ten in the morning until eight in the evening again on Wednesday and on Friday. He uses the days inbetween as breaks for both himself and the guy who’s getting tattooed, needing to let his arm and body rest to be able to give it his all. He didn’t schedule any sessions other than consultations on those days, spending the rest of his free time with Jeongguk at the cake shop, watching them work.

In the evenings, the two of them go home together, choosing Jeongguk’s apartment more often than not to be able to take Bam for a walk and feed and play with him. Things are still busy and exhausting, but now that they managed to get Hoseok out of his head, it’s also lighter and easier to deal with again. Jeongguk can’t really explain it, but something about seeing Hoseok on their couch with Bam’s body sprawled all over his lap fills them with such a sense of comfort and home that they wish it could always be like that, wanting to keep Hoseok by their side for the rest of their life.

They said it to Seokjin already, but thinking it to themself feels different somehow. It’s just like when they told Hoseok that they like him, true in a way but also not the full picture. Their feelings for him run much deeper than that, like a bloomed flower’s roots extending far down into the soil. It’s so much more than just liking him, so much more than just loving him. But somehow it’s also exactly that.

The realization doesn’t come as a surprise to Jeongguk, not after everything they have been feeling for Hoseok over the past weeks already, maybe even months. It rather feels peaceful to know that this is what love can feel like—safe and light and warm. Jeongguk can sense it in every single piece of their body, in every vein and every muscle, in each breath they take and each beat their heart pounds. It’s constantly there with them, that anchoring feeling they haven’t put a name to until now.

Love. Jeongguk loves Hoseok. With everything they are and ever will be, and for everything he is and will one day change into. Jeongguk loves Hoseok more than the word itself means, and they love Hoseok more than any word or action will ever be able to express. The feeling is too big, and too deep for that. Too comforting and too soothing. Too bright and too much. But somehow it’s still exactly as it should be.

///

The weeks pass, the days get hotter, and Jeongguk turns another year older.

Their birthday is something they have always looked forward to again right after it ended, and this year it feels even more special because they have Hoseok right with them during it. It’s a nice feeling, knowing that from now on, they will always age with Hoseok by their side, getting to experience life with him together. Somehow, that thought only excites Jeongguk even more, and they can’t wait to celebrate Hoseok’s own birthday with him one day, as well.

“Someone’s very happy to be eating cake soon,” Hoseok laughs, combing a hand through Jeongguk’s hair.

The two of them are in Jeongguk’s kitchen right now, cleaning the remains of flour off the counter. They baked a big cake together, just for the fun of it, and Hoseok is going to take the leftovers to the tattoo shop with him tomorrow, so Jeongguk isn’t really worried about finishing it. On the contrary, actually—they doubt they will even eat a whole piece of it, too stuffed from the amazing dinner Hoseok cooked for them.

“Or do you just like getting older?” Hoseok asks playfully.

“Oh, yeah, that’s definitely it,” Jeongguk says, washing out the rag. Their hands are starting to get a bit dry again because their dishwasher broke so they have to do the dishes by hand at work and at home. Hoseok applies cream to them as often as he can but Jeongguk isn’t really as concerned about it as him. “I’ve always wanted to be twenty-six. I’ve been waiting my entire life for this day, don’t ruin it for me.”

Hoseok chuckles and presses a kiss to their nape, teasingly biting into the skin afterwards. Jeongguk yelps, turning around in his hold so quickly that they almost stumble, their hip hitting the counter. Hoseok immediately soothes a hand over the spot, an apologetic expression on his face. “Sorry, sorry, didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I can barely feel it,” Jeongguk lies, pecking Hoseok’s lips. “On a completely serious note, though: yes, I am happy about getting older. Aren’t you?”

“Love, I’ll be turning twenty-nine in February. I’m almost thirty already, and the number will only keep getting higher and higher after that. Can you imagine me in forty years with gray hair and wrinkles all over my face, barely able to walk because of how I’m breaking my back every day at work now?” Hoseok shakes his head while laughing, trailing a hand over Jeongguk’s arm.

Jeongguk purses their lips, scratching their nose afterwards. “I can, actually. And I have several times already.”

“What?” Hoseok asks. “Imagined me old and weak and ugly?”

“Imagined us both like that. Together. Just like we are now,” Jeongguk says quietly. The expression on Hoseok’s face changes, going from playful to soft, his eyes shining with a fondness to them that makes Jeongguk’s chest warm. “I like getting older because it means I get to live my life and spend it with the people I care about. It makes me happy to know I get to experience so many new memories with you right now, things we get to look back to in the future. Isn’t that something worth celebrating?”

“When you say it like that, yeah, it is.” Hoseok smooths his knuckles over the side of Jeongguk’s neck, close to where their pulse beats steadily. “I never thought about it like that before. I only ever thought about how little time I have left to do what I love, but maybe I should start appreciating it more. Start appreciating you more.”

“What? Yeobo, you appreciate me plenty,” Jeongguk says.

Hoseok gently kisses them, his breath warm against Jeongguk’s skin. “Sometimes it feels like it’s not enough. Like what I do doesn’t come close to what I wish I was capable of to show you just how important you are to me. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah,” Jeongguk breathes out, touching their forehead to Hoseok’s. “It feels like that to me, too, sometimes. Just like saying that I like you doesn't really come close to what I actually feel for you. Does that make sense to you, too?”

“More than anything else,” Hoseok says. “Or, well, almost anything else. Being with you is what makes the most sense to me, like it just fits, and it’s right. But you knew that already.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t like hearing it again.” Jeongguk chuckles, pressing a kiss to Hoseok’s lips. They open their mouth to make space for his tongue, biting into his lower lip before they part. “Thank you for spending this day with me, love. I really had a lot of fun.”

“Ah, I actually have some more for you!” Hoseok pecks Jeongguk’s lips again and separates from them, running excitedly into his bedroom.

Jeongguk smiles after him, finally washing their hands properly and bending down to pet Bam. He’s been accompanying Hoseok and Jeongguk on their date today. The three of them were out on a walk in the park in the morning, stopping for lunch at hole-in-the-wall ramen place and then continuing along the Han River. Hoseok had prepared a picnic for them there, then, playing catch with Bam while Jeongguk drew faces over the clouds with their imagination. The three went to his apartment afterwards and Hoseok got started on dinner while Jeongguk took a shower to get rid of all the sweat and the grass in their hair.

Now, with all of their bellies full and the cake in the oven, Jeongguk can’t imagine what else Hoseok might have prepared for them. They don’t have to guess for too long, though, Hoseok re-appearing in the kitchen with a bag in his hands.

“Do you want to unpack your gifts here or on the jouch?” he asks, and it’s easy to see how excited he is.

Jeongguk laughs fondly, scratching Bam behind the ear one last time before they move closer to Hoseok. “Yeobo, you didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I know,” Hoseok says, “but I wanted to. So, where do you wanna sit?”

“Let’s move to the jouch? I want you to hold me.” Jeongguk cups a hand around Hoseok’s elbow, leading the two of them into his living room.

Bam follows them immediately, curling up on his end of the couch, leaving enough space for Jeongguk to lean back into Hoseok’s chest. One of Hoseok’s hands rests on their chest, the other one still holding the bag out to them.

Carefully, Jeongguk accepts it, touching their cheek against Hoseok’s as they pull it open. There are some clothes in it, as well as two picture books. Jeongguk hesitates, not knowing what to pull out first, deciding to go for the picture books in the end. Both of them are stories Jeongguk hasn’t heard of yet, one of them about how a young girl wishes she could be a boy while the other one is about a young boy loving to wear dresses to school.

Jeongguk almost cries with how much something like that means to them, and they haven’t even read the books yet. Hoseok tells them to go for it, smoothing a hand over Jeongguk’s stomach comfortingly. Jeongguk shakes their head, though, not wanting to get too emotional now. They put the picture books onto the small coffee table in front of them, deciding to read them when they don’t feel like it’ll make them break into tears.

Instead, Jeongguk grabs into the bag again, pulling out the clothes that are neatly folded in it. They have to laugh as soon as they open the shirt, a picture of Matt Murdock in his full black outfit and mask printed onto it, pink hearts surrounding him. Hoseok tells them that he washed the clothes already, and Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate before they throw off the shirt they’re wearing, putting on the Daredevil shirt instead.

They break out into giggles again when they see the sweatpants next, Hoseok joining in from behind them. Calcifer from Howl’s Moving Castle is printed all over the crotch area. Somewhere lower on the thigh is the witch of the waste after she lost her powers, her eyes focused on Calcifer. The speech bubble above her head says “what a pretty fire”, quoting a line she says in the movie. Jeongguk immediately takes off their basketball shorts to put on the sweatpants instead, Hoseok cackling loudly.

“I love this so much, oh my God,” Jeongguk laughs, standing in front of the couch to show off their new outfit. “She’s literally calling my dick pretty, oh wow. Where did you even get these? And this shirt, too! Who came up with the idea of printing pink hearts all over Matt Murdock like that?”

Hoseok shrugs with a chuckle, putting his hands onto Jeongguk’s hips. “No idea, but I had to think of you as soon as I saw it. The sweatpants were an idea from me and Tae, and Jimin got it printed for me.”

“I can’t believe you pulled our friends into that, yeobo, what the fuck.” Tears have gathered at the corners of Jeongguk’s eyes by now, and they wipe them away half-heartedly. With their hands in the pockets of the sweatpants they look down at themself, admiring how absolutely ridiculous and hideous it looks. “Do you think Seokjin will fire me for real if I show up to work like this tomorrow?”

“He will certainly try,” Hoseok says. He pulls on Jeongguk’s hips until they have no choice but to climb into his lap, one of his hands moving under their shirt to touch their skin. “He might even make a pun out of it. Firing you because your pants are on fire, or something like that.”

Jeongguk laughs again and leans forward until their mouth touches Hoseok’s, letting him swallow the sounds right out of them. With a hand on the side of his neck, Jeongguk licks into his mouth, tasting the Matcha Latte he drank while they were mixing the ingredients for the cake. With a content sigh, Jeongguk makes a move to part from Hoseok, only for him to pull them back into the kiss, biting on their bottom lip teasingly.

Jeongguk gasps into the kiss, feeling Hoseok’s pulse quicken under their palm. They chuckle into the kiss. “Don’t tell me this outfit turns you on,” they breathe out into his mouth, pressing their body closer against his.

“You look hot in everything you wear,” Hoseok gets out between kisses. His hand is big on Jeongguk’s hips, his fingertips toying with the waistband of the sweatpants. “Can you really blame me?”

“I’m wearing hideous merch,” Jeongguk laughs, and Hoseok immediately uses that opportunity to move his mouth to their neck instead, sucking on that spot right where their jaw meets their neck. The sensation almost forces a moan out of them, but they suppress it, glancing at Bam lying next to them on the couch. “Yeobo, wait, wait, ah—”

Hoseok detaches from their skin like a reflex, his hand softly trailing up Jeongguk’s neck. “Are you okay? Do you want to stop?”

“No, no, I’m fine, feels so good, I’m fine,” Jeongguk breathes out. They comb a hand through Hoseok’s hair, running it back to his neck to swipe their thumb over his lower lip, wet with spit. “But I refuse to have sex on the jouch, and Bam is right next to us. So if you want me to fuck you while wearing this ridiculous outfit, we should move to the bedroom.”

“Oh my God, it’s not about the outfit for me,” Hoseok groans but Jeongguk can tell that he’s not really offended. He gets up with his hands on Jeongguk’s ass, carrying them a few steps towards the bedroom. “And I repeat, Bam is just a dog, he won’t care about your orgasm face.”

“He is my child, how can you say that?” Jeongguk exclaims, shrieking when Hoseok almost walks them into a door frame. Their sounds turn into whimpers just a second later when Hoseok sucks on their pulse again, finally walking into the bedroom and gently letting Jeongguk fall onto the bed. “I swear to God, if you don’t close the door right now I will wear this stupid shirt every day for the rest of my life and then you won’t just be in a relationship with me, but with Matt, too.”

“Shut up,” Hoseok laughs, pushing the door closed by leaning against it. He stares at Jeongguk for a moment, a cocky grin on his face. “Now what was that about you fucking me?”

///

“What the fuck is that,” Yoongi asks when Jeongguk shows up to their morning shift, a slightly horrified look on his face.

“Oh, this?” Jeongguk asks, holding up the flower in their hands. “It’s just a mini sunflower. I got it for Hoseok, he said he’ll come over during lunch time because he got a small break inbetween clients. I’m confused, did you forget what sunflowers look like? Are you okay?”

“Not the flower,” Seokjin says passively from the other end of the room, a box full of frozen cookies in his arms. “The pants.”

Jeongguk looks down at themself, laughing when they see Calcifer. “Ah, so you have finally noticed this masterpiece.”

“It’s a dick joke,” Yoongi says. “With one of my favourite childhood animes. You are tainting my childhood, Jeongguk-ah.”

“What do you mean finally?” Seokjin asks, ignoring Yoongi completely.

“I’ve been wearing these pants to my morning shift every day for the past two weeks now. And neither of you have noticed until now,” Jeongguk smiles cockily.

Seokjin gasps, putting the box down onto the counter. “You wore those in front of customers?”

“I would love to lie and say yes right now, but I’m afraid you’d get a heart attack, so… no, Seokjin-ah, I didn’t.” Jeongguk shakes their head, walking over to the break room so that they can put their backpack and the small sunflower down onto the table and clock in. “I always get changed into proper pants as soon as I’m here, don’t worry. But hey, have you two come up with any new cookies and stuff yet? Because Hoseok showed me this amazing brownie recipe from his grandma and I think it would be a great addition to our new assortment.”

They pull out a pair of ripped jeans, closing the door to the break room so that they can change. Seokjin sighs, a loud thud following. “Honestly, I’m up for anything at this point. I’ve run out of ideas on what new stuff we could try. I mean, we don’t necessarily need new stuff, but I’m sick of baking the same things every week. I want something new.”

“What about the raspberry cheesecake we made?” Yoongi asks. “Jeongguk-ah, you brought some of it over to the tattoo shop, right? What did they think? Did at least Hoseok like it?”

“Ah, speak of the devil and he shall appear,” Seokjin says. “Hey, Hoseok-ah, If you’re looking for Jeongguk, they’re getting changed in the break room right now.”

Jeongguk zips up their jeans, opening the door as they button them properly. They immediately come face to face with Hoseok, a confused smile forming on their lips. “Hey, yeobo. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, love, don’t worry,” Hoseok says, returning the smile. It looks genuine and soft, and the concern in Jeongguk vanishes, only confusion left now. “Can we talk for a moment?”

“Sure. Is the break room alright?”

“Can they still hear us then?”

“We can also hear you now,” Seokjin comments, “and I really do not want to listen to you have sex, so please be quiet. Wait, no, no sex in the break room. No sex anywhere at work. Wait, do you two fuck here?”

Jeongguk rolls their eyes, bundling up a towel that’s hanging from a hook behind the door to throw it at Seokjin. They hit his back perfectly and Seokjin screams as if he was hit by a bullet, pretending to be bleeding profusely as he falls to the ground. Yoongi ignores him, and so does Hoseok, pulling Jeongguk into the break room and closing the door behind the two of them.

Softly, Jeongguk cups a hand around Hoseok’s neck, stroking their thumb over his jaw. His pulse is quick against their palm. “Are you sure that everything is okay? Did something happen?”

“Nothing happened, Gguk-ah, promise,” he says, pecking Jeongguk’s lips briefly. “Just—Interrupt me if this isn’t something you want to talk about, but Tae just told me that Jimin met this animator guy at a modeling gig a few days ago and he apparently told her how he’s looking for voice actors for his new project.”

Jeongguk’s body tenses, a breath getting stuck in their throat. Hoseok pauses, his grip around Jeongguk’s hip tightening. When Jeongguk doesn’t tell him to stop talking, he continues.

“He told her that what he’s really struggling with is finding someone to voice a character who’s a trans man,” Hoseok explains. “He needs to find someone by the end of today to make it to his deadline on time, but apparently none of the voice actors he asked said yes because they’re worried what something like that could mean for their career, and when Tae told me about that I thought… If you still wanted to try it out, I thought that—”

“No,” Jeongguk says, their voice coming off stern and hard. They swallow audibly, repeating themself much softer and quieter. “No. Thank you for thinking of me, yeobo, but no. It wouldn’t feel right to voice a trans person as someone who’s not trans because there are more than enough professional trans voice actors who barely get hired for any roles because they are trans. I’m sure he would find some if he didn’t just think of cis people to hire.”

Jeongguk shakes their head, averting their gaze from Hoseok’s. His hand is warm on Jeongguk’s hips, grounding and comforting.

“Even aside from that, though, I just—” Jeongguk sighs, looking into Hoseok’s eyes again. There’s nothing but acceptance in them, and the love Jeongguk holds inside their heart for him spreads so quickly through their chest that it’s all they seem to be able to feel. “I don’t want to get a role without any training just because he didn’t find someone else. And I also don’t want to get a taste of what that dream could have been like when I know it’s going to be my first but most likely also my last job as a voice actor. So thank you, Hoseok-ah, but no.”

Hoseok nods, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. “I understand. I’m sorry for mentioning it, baby.”

“No, please, don’t be,” Jeongguk says. They put their hands around Hoseok’s face, kissing him gently. “Thank you for thinking about me, yeobo, I appreciate it a lot. But it’s not something we need to talk about again like this. Me doing it professionally, I mean. I’m happy just talking along to movie dialogues and reading picture books out to you and Bam. Alright?”

“Alright,” Hoseok nods. For a moment, he just looks at Jeongguk, his eyes flicking over every part of their face, as if he’s looking for a hint of uncertainty or anger. Jeongguk smiles at him and kisses him again, pecking the corner of his mouth afterwards.

Then, they let go of Hoseok, reaching blindly for the table behind them. Once they find the stem of the small sunflower, they hold it up to Hoseok, watching the expression in his eyes turn soft. “A sunflower for my sunshine.”

“I would ask what it means but I doubt you would tell me,” Hoseok smiles. Jeongguk mirrors the expression, breaking off half of the stem so that they can tuck it behind Hoseok’s ear. The yellow and brown of the flower looks beautiful next to Hoseok’s tanned skin, making him shine brighter and warmer than the sun itself.

Jeongguk touches the soft petals before trailing their hand over Hoseok’s face instead, their touch feather-light. “Wanted to give it to you later, during lunch, but I think it would miss the sun too much until then.”

A blush spreads across Hoseok’s cheeks, and he rubs the back of his nape, biting his lower lip shyly. Jeongguk kisses him again, then, only separating when Seokjin’s loud voice can be heard through the door.

“Yah, Jeon, I don’t pay you for making out with your boyfriend!” he yells, making Hoseok laugh against Jeongguk’s mouth. “We’re opening in twenty minutes and you still have to set everything up! Stop swallowing his tongue and come out here.”

“I’d love to see you in a relationship one day, Jin-ah,” Jeongguk yells back, pressing one last kiss to Hoseok’s cheek before they open the door. “And who even said we were making out? Is that the best you could come up with, old man?”

“Take that back right fucking now!” Seokjin throws a towel at Jeongguk, but they catch it easily. Hoseok laughs again as he walks past them, squeezing Jeongguk’s hand in his own before he walks back to the front of the shop.

“See you later, love!” Hoseok says over the sound of Seokjin and Jeongguk fake-fighting, and Jeongguk stops to watch him go, already missing him.

Seokjin jabs a finger into their side, cackling when it makes them yelp. “Lovesick fool.”

Jeongguk doesn’t need to agree out loud for everyone in the room to know that it’s true.

///

Jeongguk enters Hyejin’s flower shop, greeting her with a big smile and a wave of their hand. She gets off her chair, slowly walking around the counter.

“My favourite customer,” she says kindly, smiling at them. “What flower do you want today? Another hidden love message your boy won’t know the meaning of?”

“Ah, no. Not today.” Jeongguk shakes their head, taking their gaze off of her to look at a bunch of flowers that are standing towards the front of the shop, right next to the entrance. “Today, I want one of those.”

Hyejin halts in her movements, coming to a stop close to Jeongguk. She looks at him, an understanding expression on her face. “I see. Just one, like always?”

“Yes, please,” Jeongguk says. “He likes to wear them behind his ear. A whole bouquet would be way too big for that.”

“I see,” she repeats, walking over to the bucket the flowers are kept in. She spends a minute just looking at them before she pulls one out. It’s a big one, the petals looking so soft that Jeongguk can’t wait to feel them in their palm against Hoseok’s face. Slowly, she walks back over to Jeongguk, holding the flower up to him. “Take it. And keep your money. I don’t want it for something like this.”

“Hyejin-ssi…” Jeongguk starts, but she shakes her head, pressing it into Jeongguk’s hand.

“Take it. Just make sure to get your wedding flowers from me and we’re good.”

Jeongguk laughs, bowing deeply as they accept the flower. “Thank you, Hyejin-ssi. I’m not taking this for granted, I promise.”

“I know,” she says. “Now go. You’re holding up the line.”

There’s no one except for Jeongguk in the shop, but they listen to her anyway, bowing again before leaving. As soon as they are at the cake shop, they put a wet paper towel around the stem of the flower and hide it in a firm plastic bag, putting it next to their backpack and jacket onto the table. Then, they clock in for their evening shift and go back to the front to greet their coworker, asking her how busy it’s been so far.

She leaves fifteen minutes later and Jeongguk takes care of the shop alone for the rest of the afternoon and evening, another playlist echoing through the speakers that Hoseok put together for them. They recognize every single artist and song by now, all of it ones that Hoseok has shown them. It feels like having Hoseok right there with them as they work even though he’s still at the tattoo parlour, working on someone’s leg or chest or arm.

Time passes quickly when their head is filled with thoughts regarding nothing but Hoseok, and before Jeongguk knows it, it’s time for them to clean the espresso machine and get started on closing the shop. They make a Matcha Latte for Hoseok before they actually shut everything down, and just a few minutes later, Hoseok comes into the shop together with Bam, ignoring the closed sign at the door.

“Hey, beautiful,” Hoseok says, walking around the counter to kiss Jeongguk hello. “Got anything I can help you with?”

“Nope, but I did make a Latte for you.” Jeongguk pushes the cup over to Hoseok, beginning to put all the cookies back into plastic boxes so that they can store them in the fridge until tomorrow. “Feel free to change the music if you want to, but I should be done within the next thirty minutes anyway.”

“Are you sure I can’t help you?”

“Sunshine, you don’t work here. Officially, you’re not even allowed behind the counter.”

“Seokjin literally yells at me every time I stay on the customer side of the store, I don’t think those rules really apply to me.”

“Shush,” Jeongguk makes, pecking Hoseok’s lips again before they bend down to pet Bam. Bam’s tail immediately starts wagging excitedly, and he tries to lick over Jeongguk’s face, Jeongguk moving back quickly. “Bam isn’t allowed behind the counter either. You’re lucky he’s not losing all his winter fur right now, otherwise everything here would be full of it already.”

“Alright, alright, got it, I’m awful to be around,” Hoseok laughs, leading Bam with him back to the other side of the counter.

Jeongguk goes back to putting everything into the fridges in the back, washing the remaining dirty dishes, and counting the cash and the tips afterwards. Once that’s done, they make sure that the cash register is properly locked and hidden in the break room before they put on their jacket, taking their backpack and the plastic bag with them. They clock out then and turn the lights off on their way to the front of the shop, holding the door open for Hoseok and Bam. After locking it behind them, they turn back around to Hoseok, and take his hand into theirs.

“Wanna take Bamie for a walk here or around your apartment?” Jeongguk asks, staring at the dark sky around them. It’s past 8:30 PM by now, but both them and Hoseok are used to it already.

“Mh, here?” Hoseok says. “We could get some food from that ramen place before we head home.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Jeongguk presses a kiss to the back of Hoseok’s hand, a smile on their lips as the two of them go towards the park together.

They walk a long route, Bam running after his ball every time Jeongguk or Hoseok throw it. The stars aren’t visible in the sky above them, the light pollution in the city too strong for them to really shine. But Jeongguk and Hoseok enjoy the walk anyway, reveling in both the silent moments as well as the ones in which they almost talk over one another with how exciting the conversation gets.

It’s almost 10 PM by the time the two of them are finally at Hoseok’s apartment, Jeongguk toeing off their boots while Hoseok takes off his sneakers. Jeongguk still loves the sight of both of their shoes next to one another, and they also smile at it now, warmth all over their chest.

Hoseok gets some napkins and chopsticks ready while Jeongguk carries Bam to the bathroom, cleaning off his paws so that he won’t get the apartment dirty. They join Hoseok in the living room, then, dropping next to him onto the couch. The soft soundtracks to a ghibli movie are playing in the background, and Jeongguk sags into Hoseok’s side, nuzzling a kiss into his shoulder.

“Feels good,” they sigh, breathing in the smell of vaseline and green soap that clings to Hoseok’s clothes.

“What does?” Hoseok asks.

“This,” Jeongguk replies, trailing their fingertips over Hoseok’s knee. “Finally being home after a long day at work. I really like working at the cake shop, but sometimes all I want to do is take an entire month off to lie next to you in bed all day long and just breathe, you know?”

Hoseok hums, nodding against the top of Jeongguk’s head. “I know that feeling. Don’t get me wrong, I love tattooing, it’s what I was born to do. But sometimes the exhaustion hits me so hard that I want to cancel all of my upcoming appointments for the next week and just cry myself to sleep.”

“Oh, yeah, let’s have a crying session tomorrow at eight, I’ll invite all of our friends,” Jeongguk jokes. Hoseok pokes their side, and they laugh weakly, tilting their head back to leave a kiss on Hoseok’s neck. “Maybe we should do that, though.”

“What, break down in front of everyone else?”

“No, silly,” Jeongguk says. “Go on vacation together. Or, like, take a few days off to rest and just be together. We haven’t spent a full twenty-four hours together since you overworked yourself because of that client from Australia. We’re always so busy with work, and we don’t even get Sundays to ourselves because I always work on that day. Maybe we should just schedule a break to actually get one. We could also travel somewhere if you want, but being with you for more than a few hours and a night of sleep would already be enough for me.”

“You want to spend your vacation with me?” Hoseok asks, and there’s a wet tone to his voice.

“Well, I mean, yeah,” Jeongguk says. They straighten up to properly look at Hoseok, tightening their hand on his thigh as they start feeling insecure all of a sudden. “You don’t? Which would be fine of course, like, I obviously don’t want to force you or something like that. I just, you know… I thought it could be nice. To be with you like that.”

“You’re asking me if I—Jeongguk-ah, love, of course I would love to spend more time with you like that.” Hoseok cups a hand around their face, laughing in what sounds like disbelief. “Why would you even doubt that? You’re everything to me, Gguk-ah. A vacation with you sounds like a fucking dream. We could go to Jeju, or Tokyo, or just travel from your apartment to mine and back all day long. We’ll take Bam with us, I’m sure he would love the adventure.”

Jeongguk laughs fondly, squeezing Hoseok’s thigh. “Yeah? You wouldn’t mind just staying home all day long?”

“With you?” Hoseok asks. “Never.”

He leans forward and kisses Jeongguk, soft and gentle. Jeongguk smiles into the kiss, their entire chest feeling warm at Hoseok’s touch. They lean their forehead against Hoseok’s, breathing in the same air, their eyes closed. “I got you something and I would really love to give it to you now. May I?”

“You’re asking for permission? Of course you can, love. You never even need to ask,” Hoseok says, combing a hand through Jeongguk’s hair. With another small peck to Hoseok’s lips, Jeongguk separates from him, getting off the couch.

Their hands are shaking when they reach the hallway, kneeling onto the floor to get to the plastic bag. Carefully, they take the flower out of it, unwrapping the wet paper towel from its stem. They have to take a big breath to calm their nerves before they can walk back into the living room, Hoseok’s eyes widening as soon as he sees what Jeongguk is holding in their hands.

“Here,” Jeongguk quietly says, holding the flower out for Hoseok to take. Hoseok just stares at it, and Jeongguk’s nervousness grows, their heart beating erratically in their chest. Slowly, they sit down side-ways onto the couch, their knee touching the side of Hoseok’s thigh. “Don’t you want to ask me what flower it is, and what it means?”

Hoseok’s gaze lifts off the flower, meeting Jeongguk’s eyes instead. The expression in his iris is difficult to read, a wet sheen to it that makes Jeongguk swallow audibly. Hoseok’s voice is weak when he speaks, close to the hint of a whisper. “Will you even tell me?”

“Ask me,” Jeongguk mutters softly. “Ask me what it means.”

“What does it mean, Jeongguk-ah?” Hoseok complies, and Jeongguk has to take another big breath before they can reply.

“It’s a red rose,” they say, taking Hoseok’s hand into their own to cup it around the flower, “and it stands for commitment, and faithfulness, and loyalty. It stands for love. And I’m giving it to you because I love you, Hoseok-ah. I truly and genuinely do, and these words still barely even come close to how much you actually mean to me, and how important you are to me. But I love you so much that it’s all I’ve been able to feel lately. It’s all over me, in every breath I take and in every word I say. I love you with all that I am. And I hope you can feel it just as much as I do.”

Tears gather in Hoseok’s eyes and he closes them, gripping the red rose tightly in his fingers. Gently, Jeongguk cups a hand around Hoseok’s neck, stroking over the soft skin there with their thumb, the fingers of their other hand wrapped around Hoseok’s wrist.

“Was that too much?” Jeongguk asks with a weak laugh, biting their lower lip nervously. Hoseok opens his eyes immediately, his eyelashes wet with unshed tears. He shakes his head, combing his fingers through Jeongguk’s hair soothingly.

“No, no, that was—” He breathes out a shaky exhale, a smile forming on his lips. “Jeongguk-ah, I love you, too. So, so much that it feels like the word itself doesn’t do my true feelings any justice. You’re it for me, Jeongguk-ah. You’re who I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I can’t believe I only truly realized that when you said you’d still want to be with me when we’re old and wrinkly and too weak to laugh like we do now. I love you so much, Gguk-ah. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life.”

He leans forward to kiss Jeongguk, the touch soft yet full of emotions. Jeongguk can feel the honesty in it, the warmth and the love that are in Hoseok’s heart just as much as they are in their own one, and they can’t help but deepen it, pressing themself against Hoseok as much as their position allows them to. Hoseok laughs against their mouth, smoothing a hand over their nape.

“I can’t believe you confessed to me today of all days,” Hoseok says, smiling against Jeongguk’s lips. “Call it destiny or simply a coincidence, but I was planning to confess to you, too, just tomorrow.”

Jeongguk strokes their thumb over his jaw, breathing another kiss onto Hoseok’s mouth. “Why exactly tomorrow?”

“Because I planned a surprise for you that I wanted to show you once it’s done,” Hoseok admits. There is a shy smile on his face, and it makes Jeongguk’s heart bloom with love.

“Yeah?” they ask quietly. “What kind of surprise?”

Hoseok rubs Jeongguk’s nape in the same manner he always does on himself when he gets nervous or flustered, tugging lightly on the short hairs there. “I scheduled an appointment with Tae. To… To get your flowers tattooed.”

“My flowers?” Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“Yeah,” Hoseok says softly. “All the flowers you gave to me. I dried and pressed them all into a notebook. I—Here.”

Hoseok leans towards the table, grabbing a simple black notebook off of it. He holds it out for Jeongguk to take and they do so carefully, looking down at it.  They always assumed that Hoseok used it for drawings, but holding it in their own hands now, they can tell that it’s much too thick for that, lots of gaps between the pages that they never really questioned before.

Slowly, Jeongguk opens it, coming face to face with an orange daffodil taped to the first page by its stem. There’s a date written underneath it, the day of their first date back in March. And then, at the bottom of the page: orange daffodil — joy, enthusiasm.

Jeongguk’s breath gets stuck in their throat, and they glance up at Hoseok for a moment before they turn to the next page, seeing the dark pink carnation there. Just like on the first page, the date is written down here as well, and right underneath it: blooming relationship.

The rest of the notebook continues just like that, each page another flower and date with its meaning at the bottom.

red chrysanthemum —  happiness, love at first sight

white dittany — love and passion

lilac — beginning of love

sunflower — devotion and loyalty

The list keeps going on, even the flowers dried and pressed that Jeongguk gifted him more than once because they felt and wanted to say the same thing with it. It makes tears spring into Jeongguk’s eyes, their fingers feeling the soft petals of the last flower in the book, another white dittany, against their skin.

“You knew?” Jeongguk asks with a trembling voice, moving their eyes from the notebook up to Hoseok’s face. “You knew all this time what these flowers meant?”

Hoseok shakes his head, a soft smile on his lips. “Hyejin-ssi told me. I went to her shop to ask because I wanted to know for sure what they meant before I got them tattooed. She’s a wonderful woman, maybe a bit scary at times. She kept telling me how special you are and how lucky I was to have caught your interest.”

“You’re the lucky one?” Jeongguk laughs in disbelief. They rub a hand over their face, watching as Hoseok takes it between his own ones to gently hold it. His nail polish is red today, matching the colour of the rose they gave him. “I’m the one whose boyfriend loves them so much that he kept every single flower I ever gave him. God, you even tried to find out what they mean because you cared so much, are you kidding me? If one of us is lucky, then it’s definitely me.”

Hoseok chuckles quietly, leaning forward to kiss Jeongguk. It’s warm and soothing, calming Jeongguk’s erratically beating heart. Exhaling a trembling breath into it, they cup their hand around Hoseok’s neck tenderly. They look into Hoseok’s eyes, seeing nothing but the same warmth and fondness that has been there for what feels like months now, the same thing they realize now must be all the emotions he just spoke about.

“You really love me?” Jeongguk asks quietly.

“Of course I do.” Hoseok says it like it’s the only answer that would ever make sense to a question like that. “How could I not?”

The tears in Jeongguk’s eyes finally flow over their cheeks, and they laugh a broken sound, wiping the back of their hand all over their face. Hoseok stops them softly, touching their own palm to Jeongguk’s cheeks instead. It does nothing to stop the tears, but it fills Jeongguk with warmth nonetheless, and they pull Hoseok into another kiss, trying to put as much of their feelings into it as they can.

Hoseok returns the kiss with just as much of his own emotions in it, his love flowing through Jeongguk’s veins and right into their heart. It’s the best feeling Jeongguk has ever experienced, so deeply intertwined with their own that it almost feels like just one instead. Hoseok seems to feel it as well, his own tears mixing into the wetness on Jeongguk’s face. His thumb swipes over Jeongguk’s cheeks, and he breathes against their mouth, touching his forehead to theirs.

“Ah, I need to text Tae,” Hoseok suddenly says, and Jeongguk is just about to ask why when Hoseok continues. “He needs to add a rose to the design.”

Laughter bubbles out of Jeongguk’s chest, and they put their lips against Hoseok’s again, full of love and joy. Hoseok returns it with just as much devotion and happiness, his body pressed so hard against Jeongguk’s that the two of them almost melt into one. Somehow, it feels like that's exactly how it should be.