Jonestown. Heaven’s Gate. Those words bring horror to the reader’s mind. Most reasonable people agree cults have great power to harm their members. But most people wouldn’t add religious sects and Christian denominations to the list of potentially dangerous organizations.
I know I didn’t. But after reading Dr. Laura Anderson’s book, When Religion Hurts You, I have a whole new understanding of how something with great potential for good can turn into something hurtful and even harmful.
Let’s take care of the elephant first. Religion can hurt you. But not everyone will feel the same effects of religion in the same way. Webster defines religion as 1) a personal set or institutionalized system of religious attitudes, beliefs, and practices. 2) The service and worship of God or the supernatural. 3) Commitment or devotion to religious faith or observance.
Our personalities, values, character, Enneagram number, and temperament (sanguine, choleric, melancholic, phlegmatic) determine how we react to religion. Maturity also plays a role in religion’s ability to hurt us. What scares us at one point in life might not scare us at another.
Dr. Anderson wrote the book as part of her doctoral program in counseling (her dissertation). She shares anecdotes about how religion hurt her as a young child, adolescent, and adult.
Most people who work with youth have heard of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). The higher a child’s ACE score, the more likely the child will suffer from trauma. Dr. Anderson explains how ‘trauma is not the event or the thing that happened to us; rather, it is how our bodies and nervous system respond to what happened to us.”
If four people experience the same event, their bodies will react in four different ways. The same event may only traumatize one of the four people. It might also traumatize all four of the people. We can’t predict or know with certainty what will or won’t traumatize someone.
Trauma doesn’t only happen on the battlefield. It can happen in a church, too. Dr. Anderson relates how traumatized she felt as a very young child when she first heard about Jesus dying on the cross and how those who didn’t accept Jesus would burn in hell.
Dr. Anderson also brings two new terms to the table: HCRs (highly controlling religions—the Amish, for example), and AREs (adverse religious experiences). The more controlling a religion, the more likely those who belong to it will experience multiple AREs. The author also explained an important new term: complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD)
She grew up in what she calls a “strict fundamentalist, evangelical, Reformed theological background.” This HCR, combined with her unique personality, caused her body to react to incidents she experienced in a religious setting (AREs) as trauma.
Untreated over time, this trauma manifested itself in her body as CPTSD. She isn't the only one. If you feel triggered or traumatized by all things churchy, this book is for you. If you have a friend or family member who has deconstructed or deconverted, this book is for you, too.
It's time we engage in honest conversation about the not-so-shiny effects of religion.
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Reviews with images
As a religious trauma therapist, this has become one of my most recommended resources.
This is the type of book that's best read in small bites rather than gobbled up all at once. Here's why.Each chapter addresses a specific issue related to religious harm or religious harm recovery that you'll want to create space to really chew on and think about.Here's what's important for you to know.If you're trying to recover from the impacts of a high control religion, then you probably recognize by now that it's not as simple as "I have religious trauma" vs "I don't have religious trauma."This is because adverse religious experiences become deeply intertwined with all aspects of our life. Yes, there may be traditional trauma symptoms, but it's so much more than that.These harmful experiences impact your relationships, your body, your mental health, and even your life choices (both in the past AND present).This book shines a light on how it ALL ties together.I found this book to be beneficial for my own healing journey, and I've already started recommending it to my clients. Highly recommend.My only suggestion is that if you do choose to read it, take it slow. There's a lot of meat packed into 200 pages.
Top reviews from other countries
Dalma
Brilliant Scientific Insight into Religious Trauma
Reviewed in the Netherlands on April 11, 2024