Edgar Allan Poe said, “I need scarcely observe that a poem deserves its title only inasmuch as it excites, by elevating the soul. The value of the poem is in the ratio of this elevating excitement.”

Wayne Dyer: “Van Gogh never made a penny in his entire lifetime. He painted because it was his soul, his excitement. It was what aligned him with his Source of being.”

Gene Roddenberry: “… excitement is not made of car chases.”

Readers yearn for excitement in books. This post will help writers create that feeling without overuse of excited or excitement.

Emotion Beats and Physical Manifestations

An excellent first approach when trying to describe an excited character is to show the excitement via body language and reactions such as the following.

• flashing eyes
• wide eyes
• bright eyes
• dilated pupils
• frequent blinking
• initiating and maintaining eye contact
• a broad grin
• a dimpled smile
• a trembling chin
• laughing
• flushing
• a glowing face
• giggling
• dancing
• hyperventilating
• speaking rapidly
• stuttering
• clapping one’s hands
• hopping up and down
• grinning while raising one’s arms
• rubbing one’s palms together
• skipping instead of walking
• bouncing one’s feet while one is seated
• a rapid heartbeat (only obvious to POV character)
• excessive perspiration, especially if one is experiencing nervous excitement

If you need additional beats, consult a body language dictionary. (As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.)

Adjectives

If you’re creating an action scene where brevity is crucial, or writing flash fiction with a tight word count, synonyms for excited might work best for you.

Heed the subtle connotations and excitement level implied by the following words.

A to G
aflame, animated, ardent, aroused, atingle, avid, bouncy, bubbly, charged, eager, ebullient, elated, electrified, enlivened, enthusiastic, exhilarated, exuberant, fervent, fervid, feverish, fiery, fired up, frenzied, gaga

H to Z
heated, hot, hyperactive, impassioned, keen, keyed-up, lively, overactive, passionate, peppy, perky, roused, sparkling, sparky, spirited, stimulated, stirred, stoked, thrilled, tickled, titillated, wired, wound-up, zealous

Similes and Metaphors

Figures of speech offer extraordinary opportunities to stimulate the imagination. Take care, though, to avoid purple prose.

You could liken a character’s emotions to the reactions of:

• a baby taking its first steps
• a cat that sees [a bird, its favorite treat, a mouse]
• a dieter who has achieved the “ideal” weight
• a lawyer whose client has just been acquitted
• a newly engaged bride-to-be
• a pilot making a first solo flight
• a writer who makes The New York Times Best Sellers list
• an actor who has just been awarded a prestigious role
• ants that have discovered a kid’s secret candy stash

Or create indirect comparisons like the following:

• a beast that keeps one awake at night
• a bottle of soda about to explode
• a bundle of kindling in one’s gut
• a glowing ember in one’s soul
• a lightning bolt that jolts one’s heart
• a river bubbling through one’s veins and flushing one’s face
• a wind of emotion
• an exhausting interval of passion
• an irrepressible [fount, spring]
• fireworks exploding in one’s chest
• the urge to dance tingling in one’s toes

Colors

Although excitement doesn’t have a color, characters who are excited might blush or flush. Conversely, nervous excitement might cause paleness.

Flushed skin colors
beet red, blaze red, blood red, cherry-soda red, crimson, crab-apple red, flame red, flaming red, lobster red, neon red, radish red, scarlet, wanton red

Note that most of these colors are exaggerated. A person’s face won’t actually look beet red, for example, but the phrase would work for many narrators.

Pale skin colors
alabaster, ash white, cameo white, chalky, china white, eggshell white, ivory, milky, parchment white, porcelain white, sheet white, specter white

See 1000+ Ways to Describe Colors for more options.

Scents

Excitement raises body temperature, which accentuates the odor of a character’s skin. Therefore, a person might smell like, reek of, or be redolent with the scent of:

A to W
aftershave, baby lotion, baby shampoo, baby wipes, a barn, BO, body lotion, cleaning solution, deodorant, disinfectant, essential oils, a garage, garlic, hair conditioner, hair dye, hand sanitizer, hay, horses, kelp, a kitty litter box, laundry detergent, leather, licorice, neoprene, an old mattress, onions, perfume, perspiration, room deodorizer, shampoo, soap, unwashed clothes, vinegar, a wet dog

Consider the environment and activities of characters. Sometimes you can reveal their occupations or favorite hobbies by describing only their scent.

The Versatility of Verbs and Phrasal Verbs

Instead of saying that something excites a character, you might wish to choose a substitute word or phrase from this list.

A to T
arouse, awaken, blow someone’s mind, breathe new life into, brighten, delight, electrify, energize, enthuse, exhilarate, fascinate, galvanize, grip, incentivize, inflame, inspire, inspirit, interest, intrigue, invigorate, jolt, light a fire under, motivate, move, pep up, pique, raise someone’s hair, rivet, rouse, stimulate, stir, thrill, tickle

Choose colloquialisms only if they suit your narrator’s voice.

Nouns

Excitement?

Another word might serve better. As with adjectives, pay attention to the level of emotion and the personality of your narrator or character before choosing any of the following nouns.

A to W
ado, agitation, animation, brouhaha, bustle, buzz, chaos, disorder, dither, elation, ferment, frenzy, furor, fuss, hoo-ha, hubbub, mayhem, melee, moil, pandemonium, passion, pother, ruckus, stimulation, stir, thrill, titillation, to-do, turbulence, uproar, wildness

Props

Well-chosen props augment a story by sparking new twists or subplots. What excites you? Would it excite your characters? Perhaps something from this list would.

B to G
a book signing event, chocolate, a date with a famous person, finding out that [an ex, one’s mother, a significant other, a sister, a spouse] is pregnant, a first date, the first day [of a new book release, of school, of spring, on a new job], giving or receiving a gift, good news

H to W
a high school prom, the release of [a Broadway show, a movie], a ride in [an experimental plane, a spaceship, a sports car, a submarine], travel to __________, a wedding, winning [an award, a contest, a football game, a hockey game, a race, a tennis match]

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