When Chris Meloni was revealed to be the cover star of the August/September issue of Men's Health, it's safe to say the internet was not ready.
Not only did the Law & Order star pose for some deeply thirst-provoking photos (more on that later), he also gave a great interview, speaking about religion, mental health, and his glutes. That, it turned out, was the crux of the story; Meloni provided some insight into the workout routine that has helped to shape his butt, which seems to have been one of his most consistently and widely appreciated assets since he first flaunted it on Oz two whole decades ago.
"I catch flies with my ass cheeks, like a Venus flytrap," he said, adding: "I'm clever with my ass cheeks!"
While that kind of playful comment certainly indicates that Meloni is at least partially aware of his longstanding status as a small-screen sex symbol, he did need some help deciphering the modern nomenclature. Specifically, the term "zaddy," which he had somewhat innocently interpreted to be "just a cutie thing." Once it was explained that it is a desirous term reserved for an older gentleman, he embraced it.
"How much am I allowed to taste of this fruit?" He asked. "How much am I allowed to enjoy this?"
Judging by the online response to the cover story—and the accompanying photos—probably a lot. When the story dropped yesterday, "Christopher Meloni" began trending on Twitter, and the platform was sent into a horny maelstrom from which it is still recovering. Here are some of our favorite responses to Meloni's instantly iconic shoot with photographer Ben Watts.
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This content is imported from twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
This content is imported from twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
This content is imported from twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
This content is imported from twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
This content is imported from twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
This content is imported from twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
This content is imported from twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
This content is imported from twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
This content is imported from twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
This content is imported from twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
This content is imported from twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
This content is imported from twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
This content is imported from twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
This content is imported from twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
This content is imported from twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
When the man of the hour himself saw the stir he caused, he responded with the appropriate level of dignity and grace.
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Philip Ellis is News Editor at Men's Health, covering fitness, pop culture, sex and relationships, and LGBTQ+ issues. His work has appeared in GQ, Teen Vogue, Man Repeller and MTV, and he is the author of Love & Other Scams.
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