I waited a whole week to write. Ughhh. But. Here it is. My blog on Poland.
We loaded the busses about 7:45 pm on Thursday February 16. I sat with a girl I didn’t know and ended up making a new friend. Immediately I felt like I was on the way to the March for Life… overnight charter bus baby. I’m positive I slept about 5 minutes at a time before some part of my body went numb. Legs, butt, arm. “Pilgrimage.” I reminded myself every time I woke up. We stopped twice I believe. Once in the Czech Republic where there were “everlasting roses” that captivated us and ice-cream that tempted us… Finally. FINALLY. It was 4 in the morning. They woke us up and told us a little about Our Lady of Czestochowa. We parked next to a hotel where we would be eating breakfast after the unveiling of Our Lady. So we finally got off the bus and walked sleepy eyed and sick (with that feeling of not sleeping all night) to the shrine of Our Lady of Czestochowa.
I’ll give you all a brief history of Our Lady. According to tradition, the icon of Jasna Gora was painted by Luke the Evangelist on a tabletop built by Jesus himself. Like, woah. Dude. That’s enough for me to get a little, okay, extremely excited. For about 500 years it remained in Constantinople. Then it was given as a gift and stayed in Belz for about 600 more years. It finally arrived in Poland in 1382 with a Polish army. It had been struck with an arrow. In 1430 Hussites attacked the monastery in which Our Lady was chilling. They slashed the virgin’s face with a sword and left it desecrated in a puddle of blood and mud. It is said that when the monks pulled the icon from the mud, a miraculous fountain appeared, which they used to clean the painting. But both the arrow and the sword gashes remain visible on Our Lady today. The miracle for which the Black Madonna is most famous for occurred in 1655, when Swedish troops were about to invade Czestochowa. Polish soldiers prayed fervently before the icon for deliverance and the enemy retreated. In 1656, King John Casimir declared Our Lady of Czestochowa “Queen of Poland”. During Nazi occupation, Hitler prohibited pilgrimages to Jasna gora, but many still secretly went to go see the beautiful Black Madonna. In 1945, after Poland was liberated, half a million pilgrims journeyed to Czestochowa to express their gratitude. During the Cold War, Jasna Gora was a center of anti-Communist resistance. Pope John Paul II prayed before our Mama in 1979, 1983, 1991 and 1997.
So that’s just a little about the Black Madonna. Now, it was about a 15 minute walk up to the shrine. And when we got there we pushed in trying to get to the very front. Right in front of our Mama. There is a little chapel surrounding her, but you can see through the bars that constitute as the chapel walls. What was really cool, which another friend pointed out to me, was the fact that so often Mary waits for us to pray through her to Jesus. She waits to intercede for us. Here, at her shrine, we waited for her. She was like, “Okay kids, I’m always up here waiting for you, so now, you’ll just have to sit there and wait for me.” And then she is unveiled, with loud trumpets and beating drums. Goosebump worthy right there. The veil slowly lifts from the bottom up and everyone in the building has their eyes on Mama. Everyone is waiting to see her beauty. Everyone is waiting to see the beautiful icon Luke painted on a table that Our Lord and Savior built. Like. Just stop reading right now and think about that. Intense. It’s awesome. It doesn’t matter if you’re Catholic, Protestant, Lutheran, Nondenominational, or not even Christian, everyone can appreciate something beautiful. And let me tell you, Our Black Momma is a babe.
So after we had that amazing encounter with Our Lady, we walked back to the hotel where we were greeted with an amazing buffet style breakfast. Coffee (a must), scrambled eggs, all kinds of breads, meat, jams, and dude, coco-puffs. I never thought I’d see them again! We feasted and drank enough coffee to have our pupils shrink and to talk like mice would talk if they could. Fast. And squeaky. We then headed back to the Shrine.
We got to walk around a little, and what’s awesome about the shrine is that people leave necklaces, bracelets, rosaries, pins, beads of all kinds for Our Mother. And they are hung up all around the Icon. There are also crutches, walkers, and other devices to aid those who can’t walk, hanging up on the wall too. Our Mama heals, and people leave being able to walk, leaving their crutches behind. How awesome!
One opportunity we got was to kneel around the Icon. You start on the left side on your knees and walk (on your knees) to behind the Icon. It’s like a little hallway. And when you are directly behind the Icon you put your head against the wall tell Mama your intentions. After you kiss the wall, you continue kneel-walking around the Icon. It was amazing. And I took all of the personal intentions I had received from friends and family to Our Momma. It was such a powerful experience. And it was then that I fell in love with Our Mother all over again.
Momma Mary has helped me so much in my life already. She’s been there and she’s listened to me and she’s taken my prayers to Our Lord. She is the Mother of God. She is always there for us to be our Mother too. All we need to do is pray to her. She’s beautiful, you know. And without her, I’m not sure where I would be right now. She is everything beauty, purity, life and truth should be and look like. She’s my Momma.
We also got to have mass in the chapel that the Icon is held. Which is awesome. There is like mass after mass right after mass. And so as soon as the first mass was over, we all pushed in to get a good seat in front of Mary. I got to sit in like the second row and was immediately overcome with appreciation and gratitude for my faith, for my life, for this opportunity. Located to the right of the Icon is a gold rose which Pope John Paul II gave as a gift to Our Lady. To the left is the sash that he was wearing when he was shot in St. Peter’s square as part of an assassination attempt. You can still see the blood spots of Blessed John Paul II. What a beast.
Mass was beautiful. I was tired, sore, emotional, but happy. And Mary just really loved on me during mass. Father gave a homily about the first time he came to the Shrine and it was about how there were several disabled children, physically and mentally, singing to Our Lady and how they had the purest voices that just reached the center of your heart. Immediately I started bawling. I mean come on, any story like that is going to make me cry, couple it with exhaustion and you better be prepared for the water works. It was also cool because the intentions that we had written the night before on the bus were all located on the alter during mass. Like, wa-bam! Straight to Jesus through Mary.
After mass we had some time to walk around and see the museum and adoration chapel and gift shop, then we loaded the busses and began our journey to Auschwitz. What a change of emotion.
Growing up you hear about the Holocaust, you learn about the Holocaust, you do mandatory reports on the Holocaust, but none of that even remotely prepares you for what you experience walking into a concentration camp. Auschwitz is probably the most well known of them. Did you know that the Nazi’s bought out like 42 acres of land surrounding the concentration camps so that nobody knew what was going on? The killing of so many was kept away from the world.
Many Poles, Jews, Gypsies and other various nationalities were all held in the concentration camp. It was a work camp and many were expected to just die of horrible conditions there. We walked under the sign that so many had walked under before us, “Work Makes You Free”.
We walked into the old barracks which have been transformed into museums. We saw heartbreaking pictures and horrifying facts. Our tour guide gives so many of these tours, yet she was still filled with so much emotion. It’s something that has obviously really touched her. What got me was when we went into the barrack of personal possessions and things that had been taken away from those entering the camp. It was astonishing, horrifying and disturbing to see all of the pairs of shoes, all of the cups, plates and bowls and luggage with names still on them.
But the thing that gave me goosebumps, the thing that brought tears to my eyes, was the container of hair that lined a whole wall of a barrack. Hair. Something so personal, so common, so annoying at times. Yet, it was something taken away, unfairly. Many women are strongly attached to their hair. They can’t stand for it to be cut even more than 2 inches. Can you imagine a woman standing there, outside, naked, humiliated having her head shaved? A little girl, who seconds ago had been holding a doll her grandmother had given her for her 5th birthday which the Nazi’s had taken away and smashed before her eyes, was now standing in the cold, crying, as men with calloused hands and dirty nails roughly cut off all of her brown curls. Imagine it. And imagine looking into a case full of hair from 140,000 people and knowing that every single strand of that was once attached to the head of a living, breathing, loving, sad, heartbroken human being. It get’s ya. Let me tell you.
The other thing that really impacted me was the case filled with artificial legs and crutches. Polish war vets from World War I were the ones that accounted for this large collection. But man, that stuff is powerful. They took artificial lets of human beings. Can you even image such brutality?
We walked solemnly through the museums. I was numb most of the time. It was hard to imagine that people had once slept where I was not walking. People had once prayed for deliverance where I was standing. People had once cried where I was crying. It’s deep.
We saw a replica of the wall where many of the executions took place by guns. There is a little memorial and flowers left from visitors of the camp. We saw the square where they had roll call every morning. Rain or snow, sleet or hail. Our tour guide told us that the longest roll call they ever had was 21 hours during the first week of the camp because they couldn’t find everyone. Can you imagine standing in the freezing cold, hungry, tired, with hardly any clothes on waiting to be called, waiting for all of the names to be called, men in coats roaming the lines, yelling, cursing, hitting? The first person to die at Auschwitz was a man during this roll call. He died of exhaustion. Just pure exhaustion sent him overboard. How many thousands followed after him…
We also got to see the cell where St. Kolbe spent 2 weeks in starvation and did not die. St. Kolbe gave up his life so that another may live. And the man he died for even made it out of the camp. He lived to see the liberation of Poland. He lived to have a family. He lived to tell the story of how a man laid down his life for him. Expecting him to die in two weeks, they put Fr. Kolbe in a starvation chamber. Within those two weeks he saw nine other prisoners pass. He did not, and on August 14, 1941, a soldier injected him with carbolic acid and Father Maximilian Kolbe became a martyr of charity. “There is no greater love than to lay down your life for a friend.”
Towards the end of the tour we made our way to the gas chamber that is still standing today. What a powerful reminder that building is. You walk into a small room where they were told to strip down for their “showers” and you follow it around into a big open room. All that is sitting in there now is a memorial for those that were killed in the very location you are standing from a toxic chemical. You just have to stand there in silence and hear the fear around you that is still there. Hear the dreams of those that have passed. The longings for those that were murdered. You walk into the next room and all you see are the ovens used to cremate those that were just killed in the previous room. It’s really heartbreaking. It’s really terrifying looking around and realizing that at one point a child was standing where you are about to be killed. Can you even imagine? Even as I sit here, I can’t. And then you leave. You exit the gas chamber and crematorium. You get to leave. To walk out into the cold. To breathe in fresh air. To hug your friends. You, unlike so many others, get to leave. It just seems so unfair…
I had that moment again when we got to leave Auschwitz. We got to leave the camp. We got to safely walk out without worrying about losing our life or getting caught. It’s really powerful when you stop and think that just like that, I am able to leave a place where so many have died. Where so many have been killed for no reason. We left Auschwitz, and went to Birkenau.
Compared to Birkenau, Auschwitz looks a ton better. In Birkenau they lived in huts. The walls were full of holes, the bunk beds weren’t beds at all, more like horse stables, but stacked up so that 3 people could sleep in one “stable”. I can’t describe the feeling of walking along the train tracks that entered the camp. It was an intense moment when our tour guide said, “Where you are standing right now is where this man in the picture was told he would be dying.” Like, how can you even fathom that feeling? That fear? You honestly can’t. We walked along the camp, noticing the remnants of the four large gas chambers that were destroyed right before the liberation so as to destroy any evidence of what went on at the camp. We finally made it to the end of the train tracks and the end of the camp. What a moment to look back at the tracks where dozens of train cars came in with people just waiting to die. What a moment to think that as they reached the ends of these tracks they had fear in their heart and sorrow in their eyes. So many people, innocently killed. Genocide, Holocaust, terror.
And some of you that read this won’t agree with me on this, but how is abortion different? We are killing those that we don’t want. We are taking them into buildings where they do not know where they are. We are inserting instruments into what is supposed to be the safest place for a child, the mother’s womb. We are killing them quickly, but not painlessly. We are not giving them a chance. We are not seeing the value they have on this Earth. We are killing our own. And how secret is this holocaust going on in the United States.
After Birkenau we headed to our hotel in Krakow. We had free time after dinner but I was too exhausted emotionally and physically. I went right to bed after dinner.
The next day we got a tour of Krakow from the cutest little Polish woman. She was adorable and quite fast… We got a quick tour and were set free to wonder Krakow. What was on the agenda? SHOPPING! Bahhh. Everything is so cheap in Poland so we found a hat shop and a scarf shop, and lots of other little presents were bought along the way. We met back up with everyone in the early afternoon and headed to the Shrine of Divine Mercy.
Sister Faustina Kowalska joined the Congregation of the Sisters of Our Lady of Mercy at the age of 20. Can you imagine becoming a nun at the age of 20? That’s like me, right now, entering a convent. Uhhh. She became famous for her mystic visions of the Merciful Christ which she described in the Little Diary she kept. She died at age 33 of tuberculosis. When Jesus came to her He told her to share the mercy of Jesus. To share the merciful love of the father. He also told her to paint this picture. It is of Jesus with a ray of white symbolizing water, baptism and reconciliation and a ray of red symbolizing blood, communion, and nourishment for the soul. It is signed at the bottom saying, “Jesus I trust in you.” And this is where the Catholic faith get’s the divine mercy chaplet. It’s a powerful chaplet. “For the sake of His sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.”
We had mass, had time for adoration, had the opportunity to kiss the relic of St. Faustina, had a talk from the cutest nun, had time to go to the gift shop and wander around the shrine. We got to see the sunset. 🙂 That was so beautiful. After everything, we hoped back on the bus and headed back to Krakow where we had the evening to ourselves.
We tried to find pierogi, but the place we wanted to go to was out of them… so I had this strawberry pancake thing. It was really good. Not pierogi good, but still good. That night some went out, I stayed back in the hotel taking some time for myself and just relaxing. It was sooo good.
The next morning we had mass and some more time to explore Krakow. Mark, Jenna and I were bound and determined to have pierogi. After some hard core searching, we found this place tucked back into this like secret alley. We went in and had pierogi with meat and pierogi with strawberries. Both were absolutely delicious and I just wanted to keep eating! Bahh. I love pierogi…
We met up with everyone else and headed to Wadovice, where John Paul II was born and raised. It was really awesome to see the house where JP2 was born, where he spent his toddler years and middle school years. We got to see the church where he worshiped Our Lord and the font where he was baptized. It was awesome. We got to kiss a relic of Padre Pio and have Papa cake! Which is absolutely divine. Sooooo good. I wanted to get like five more pieces. After touring the museum we walked back to the busses and just like that, we were off to Gaming.
On the way back we ate at this restaurant that served us in the upstairs room. It was really good and the chocolate cheesecake was to die for. It was nice to just sit and relax with friends. After dinner we had about a 7 hour bus ride back to the Kartause. Let me tell you, I was so ready to hop off that bus when we pulled into the parking lot. It was so nice to be in my bed by 3 am on Monday. The rest of Monday was spent relaxing and catching up on sleep. I am totes a fan of these recovery days.
Poland was exhausting. It was emotional. It was life changing. Poland is a country so full of history. Of terrible events, and yet, it is a country so beautiful and so full of hope. So many smiles and so much pride. You take things for granted. Everyone does. It’s good to be reminded that you are living, you have life within you. You are called to love. It was a reminder to me that I am made for something great. That I am blessed beyond belief and that prayer goes a long way. Our Lady of Czestochowa—Pray for us! St. Maximilian Kolbe—Pray for us! St. Faustina—Pray for us! Blessed John Paul II—Pray for us!
Randoms for the week:
1.) I AM SO STRESSED ABOUT MIDTERMS. This week is all midterms and I’m freaking out. I have 150 questions to memorize for Western Civ, a crap ton to learn for Christian Moral Principals and many time periods to claim to memory… Sigh.
2.) Rome and Assisi is this week. 10 days in Italy. Is this really my life? I can’t believe that I’m actually here and traveling as much as I am. And I also can’t believe that I’m about to complain about traveling… yeah, I’m exhausted. I wish we had more of a break between Poland and Rome/Assisi. But alas, we don’t and I need to do laundry before we go see Papa Bene.
3.) I don’t really have a third. Although I am happy that Amaretto is only 5 euro at Spar.
4.) Ohhh. I remember. An Austrian man bought me a drink last night. Haha. Awesome right? He was totally harmless and completely drunk. But he had beautiful eyes… (a 4 year old son, and 13 years to my 20.) But, it was fun nonetheless. He really wanted us to go dancing with him. Hah.
Tomorrow holds another full day of studying. But I’m doing it. I’m living the European dream. I’m doing what many will not be able to, and for that I am thankful. I am blessed.
And a special thanks to my grandparents for making this awesome pilgrimage possible 🙂 You rock!
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