“Be Needed, Then Known” Thoughts on Legacy Kingston’s Journey #91

Making a Difference

Making a monumental impact on the greatest number of people possible, that is a noble goal to set out over. Because at the end of the day, once we die, that is the end of our lives, we cease having a significant impact over those that are around us. And we will die, no argument, but when that day comes, what is important is that you have a lasting impact despite your physical absence.

In other words, it is a matter of knowing in yourself whom you have helped, so that when you are gone, people will say to themselves, “I remember he/she helped me with this in my life.” This can be defined as having a legacy.

That is what matters in the end, you helped people because if all you’ve done is accumulate things for yourself and you haven’t made any monumental impact on anyone, well then what was the point of it all? If you die tomorrow and no one cares, is that the root of loneliness?

On the other side of the spectrum, those that are able to leave a lasting touch on those around them where they are missed when they are gone, that is the closest to eternal if one can get (in a secular sense at the very least). It is a patina of immortality when your name is still talked about long after your departure from wherever it is you happen to be.

Being Known & Felt

To clarify, this immortality is not about putting the limelight on yourself so that everyone knows you so as they will all remember you. That is not the point, having people know you is only part of the equation.

The other part is being a pillar in their lives, meaning that they need you. And when people need you, that is when they want to know you. It is needing then knowing, not the other way around. Therefore, it is not about making your presence known, but having your absence felt. Now this is not a matter of trying to hurt others, but being such a quintessential part of their life and daily routine that they feel they are missing a part of themselves when you are not there. That is, you become a part of them.

This is what we should strive for, not to be loud and bombastic during our presence, but useful and essential. The later is the long game of being remembered.

And me personally, I’ve had small/humble experience with this. A good example is by using a personal experience. No one batted an eye when I left Brazil because I was a free agent, unattached to anyone, roaming around with a guitar being loud (busking) in the streets.

But in Tanzania, when I contributed to groups/organizations, I cared, visited homes of the wealthy and the poor, that is where I will be missed (I think).

That is the difference between being noticed and felt.

Kingston S. Lim

March 3, 2021

Nairobi, Kenya

About Kingston’s Journey Series: Kingston’s Journey is a lifelong series. This is the travel journal I take with me. Whether you have questions such as how to change my life or how to travel the world, I think you’ll find value in the life lessons I’ve experienced and documented in this travel notebook. They may serve as travel inspiration for you. In Chinese, there is a saying, “讀萬卷書,不如行千里路.”

This means, instead of reading ten thousand books, why don’t you walk a thousand miles. This is my inspiration to travel every nation (or as many as possible) in my pursuit of my global MBA by learning as much as possible and recording these life lessons learned only by travel. In the end, I think the achievement of dreams, personal growth & aspirations out there through travel and adventure will lead to a more fulfilling life. Living and experiencing the “now” is how I’ll make my life a great memory in the future.