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Fast Times at Hanna-Barbera High

Summary:

Secret Squirrel wasn't really expecting much when he and his mom moved to a new town, but he quickly got dragged into a motley crew, featuring a former powerpuff, a thieving rat, a mutant ant, a dancer of destruction, Morocco Mole. At first, he was weirded out, but he found that they are the best friends a guy could ever have. Even if they have their misadventures the only way they know how: by being themselves.

Chapter 1: The New Kid in Town

Notes:

Now for a story about the motliest of motley crews: The Hanna-Barbera Bunch (and few Cartoon Network characters)

Title reference to a movie I've never seen based on a book I've never read

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"Gooooooood mooooooooooorning, everybody! On this lovely Monday morning! Let's start things off with some Loveboy!" shouted a melodious female voice on the radio when it suddenly turned on because it was the alarm. The young teen groggily started to wake up and saw the time, groaned and got up. He pulled the covers off his body, revealing that he was wearing baby blue boxers. As he got up and into his bathroom, he neglected to turn of the alarm so he did his morning routine to the song "Dangerous"

 

He jumped into the shower, blood started pumping, jumped out and shook the water off his body, finish drying off with a towel. That's when his reflection caught his eye.

 

Buck teeth with braces, big, yellow eyes and to top it off, a face full of tan-colored fur. Not conventionally attractive but whatever. 

 

The braces did remind him to brush his teeth, after all they are going to come off soon. After that he ran back into his room to get dressed. He put on a somewhat worn grey hoodie, a pair shorts from an old school uniform, and finally an indigo baseball cap that he wore backwards and like a mask.

 

Now he ran down the stairs, carrying a backpack, about to leave for school, only for his mother to stop him from going out the door.

 

"Aren't you forgetting something?" she asked.

 

"Don't worry, I'll have breakfast on my way."

 

"No, I was thinking of something else..." said his mother.

 

The son thought about a moment before asking,"My skateboard?" and grabbed it off the floor, leaving the house.

 

The mother then facepalmed at this as if to say ,"Seriously?" but then the son, out of nowhere, opened the front door and suddenly gave his mother a goodbye kiss on the cheek. For a moment, he flashed a smile that said,"Yeah, as if I would forget." before leaving for school.

 

As the boy was on his way, his mother ran out of the house to say,"Good luck, Bigie boo!" to which he suddenly stopped, winching and shouted."MOM!!" before going back on his way.

 

The mother merely smiled at her son's reaction and said to herself,"Oh, James, if only you could see how much your son has grown," before heading back inside.

 

As for the boy, he was busy skateboarding and doing various tricks on his way to school with some music blasting out of his headphones. He was doing it for enjoyment or to delay getting to school. But some of the kids on the way did stop to watch for a moment before continuing on their way.

 

"HEY, LOOK OUT!!"

 

Unfortunately, he didn't hear so he ended up crashing into two other teenaged boys on their way to school.  

 

One was a short, brown bear wearing a tuxedo T-shirt, shorter, grey mole in a orange turtleneck,and our hero, a squirrel actually, were on the sidewalk dazed but fine. The bear and the mole helped each other up when the bear noticed that the mole wasn't wearing his signature hat, a fez nor his glasses but he was now wearing a dark blue looking baseball cap. That's when he turned his attention to the squirrel, who was starting to get up.

 

He rubbed his forehead and realized two things, one, he can barely see and two, he wasn't wearing his cap. He was about to react accordingly but then he realized that he wearing someone's glasses and took them off and stare at it curiously when he noticed the fez on his head. As soon as he pulled it off, he realized that those two were staring, especially the one in HIS cap.

 

"Hey! That's mine!" he shouted as he swapped hats and gave the guy his glasses back,"That's better. Well, see ya." He picked up his board and began to leave when the mole stopped him.

 

"We're sorry we got in your way." his friend nodded.

 

The squirrel paused and said,"Well, it's more my fault. I should have been watching where I was going."

 

Now the three just stood there, looking around awkwardly, trying to keep the conversation going. When the mole says,"I'm Morocco." His friend then followed his lead and added,"And I'm Boo-Boo!"

 

"Morocco? Boo-Boo? What?!" the squirrel said aloud, then noticed the two staring,"Ahem, sorry," now realizing he had to tell them his name, something he never looks forward to. Now, he racking his brain for a new nickname, something cool but reasonable. But he threw that out the window when he said the first thing to come to mind.

 

"Secret...Secret Squirrel."

 

As soon as he said that he wanted to put his foot in his mouth but the two guys seemed to buy it, especially Morocco, whose eyes immediately lit up.

 

"Oh, yes, a squirrel family of two just moved here but...where's the father?"

 

Secret then said, rather coldly,"I don't know what the Disney Channel happened to James but frankly, guys, I don't give a damn."

 

Morocco and Boo-Boo were both shocked at that comment. Sure, Morocco had that evil twin brother of his and Boo-Boo's an orphan but not caring about his father?! That's seems a little excessive, especially since Secret, from what little they seen, wasn't really type to be like that. But then, Secret changed the subject.

 

"So...is the high school any good?"

 

"Oh, yeah," answered Boo-Boo,"But it's because everyone knows each other. We haven't had a new kid since Atom Ant during freshman year."

 

"Oh, joy," said Secret, sarcastically. 

 

"What school did you go to before?" asked Morocco.

 

"Last school I went to was an all-squirrel school and let me tell you, it was awful. When Mom said we were moving away again, I was just happy to not have to go back to that school again," he answered, before asking,"So what are the student's like?"

 

Boy, did they have a lot to say. They talked about various students and mentioned some of their names, Yogi, Huckleberry, Snagglepuss, Super Snooper, Blabber Mouse, Magilla Gorilla,  Bunny....

 

"Where do they come up with these names?" Secret thought to himself,"Wonder what they would think of my real name."

 

"Oh, and Penny Ardilla, what a sweetheart!" Morocco continued, interrupting Secret's thoughts for a moment.

 

"Penny? Wow, normal name, wait a minute-," Secret thought to himself before asking,"Is Penny a girl?"

 

Boo-Boo, confused, answered,"Yes..."

 

"Well, what's she like?

 

Morocco and Boo-Boo excitedly said,"Well, she's a very nice kid, very pretty...for a squirrel, I guess. Lot's of kids like her and we think you'll like her, too. Actually, until now, she was the only squirrel in school."

 

"Really?!" shouted  Secret, perhaps a little too enthusiastically, then he cleared his throat, saying,"I mean, really? Okay, cool."

 

The boys then started laughing.

 

Morocco was still a little curious about why Secret hated his father and proceeded to ask. But after he did, Boo-Boo said,"Morocco, maybe he doesn't want to tell us."

 

Secret himself wasn't paying attention. He was reading the sign for the high school, where they finally got to.

 

"Hannah Barbara High School? Must of been one ugly chick."

 

Morocco and Boo-Boo shook their heads, saying,"Hanna-Barbera's two guys."

 

"Oops. Oh, well, see ya," Secret said as he walked away.

 

"See ya? Where are you going, Secret?" asked Morocco.

 

"I'm gonna take a look around."

 

"We can show you around," said Boo-Boo, walking toward him.

 

"Thank's but no thanks," Secret said, running off.

 

Now alone, Morocco and Boo-Boo looked around and talk to each other. Suddenly Boo-Boo spots someone and waves, shouting,"Look, there's Yogi!"

 

"Do you think his parents will adopt you?" Morocco asked.

 

"I sure hope so, come on, let's go talk to him."

 

Meanwhile, Secret was busy looking around the school. He noticed that the student body was very diverse. There was an purple octopus in a red vest talking to a yellow cat in a purple jacket with white sleeves and matching purple hat. Sitting on a bench was another yellow cat, albeit more muscular was drumming on a textbook with a skinnier reddish-brown cat reading his copy. Secret paused when he saw seven short kids dressed like '20's gangsters following some Barbie looking girl.

 

"Beautiful...but too much pink," he muttered before walking away.

 

He saw a group of teens and a Great Dane walk out a green and blue van with orange flowers and the words 'Mystery Machine' in orange letters.

 

"Might as well call it 'the Hippie Mobile."

 

He also saw similar teens with their gimmicks before walking away and good thing too because Dick Dastardly and his dog, Muttley showed up. Unfortunately, as he kept walking, he didn't notice that he was in someone's way.

 

"Hey, look out!" shouted a shrill voice but before they knew it, Secret suddenly holding on the shoulders of a super-strong, high-flying, from what he could tell, purple-clad girl.

 

Secret couldn't believe this was happening but it was and everything was going so fast that he held on his cap.

 

The girl looked back, noticing the squirrel and shouted,"What the-?" and thought to herself,"Great I race Atom Ant and end up picking up some extra weight. Hmmm...., no time to pick him down. I Have to finish this race. I NEED to WIN!" She then shouted to Secret,"Hang on tight!" and went even faster.

 

Secret kept spitting out hairs as the girl's ponytail kept slapping him on the face.

 

They flew around campus, twisting and turning but amazingly, Secret still held on.

 

"Look, little guy, the finish line!" she shouted.

 

Secret chuckled weakly, taking her word for it and still held on.

 

Suddenly, the girl stopped flying and the group of students cheered and ran up to her. The girl started bowing as her competitor, a fire ant the size of a fist wearing an orange letterman jacket and a white helmet, finished. 

 

"Atom, I won!" shouted the girl.

 

But the ant shouted,"Bunny! You know I hate being called that! Call me Adam!" then added,"Congrats but next week, I'm gonna win."

 

"Yeah," said Bunny, rolling her eyes, and remembered Secret,"Hey, where's the little guy?"

 

"Little guy?" asked Adam, looking down at himself.

 

"Not you! I'm talking about that new squirrel kid, I accidentally picked him up while flying!" she explained.

 

"Oh," said Adam, looking around. That's when they found him, trying to walking away, but was very dizzy and then passed out.

 

Bunny, Adam, and some other concerned students gathered around him and one said, "We better take him to the nurse."

 

To Be Continued...

Notes:

Now I'm gonna talk about my favorite line in this chapter: "I don't know what the Disney Channel happened to James but frankly, guys, I don't give a damn."

Originally it was "I don't know the Disney Channel happened to James but I don't care." Apparently, Disney Channel is Hell. "Frankly, I care don't give a damn." Gone with the Wind reference.

There was be cussing because well, it's a High school Fan fic.