The Old Man Movie: Lactopalypse

Writers: Oskar Lehemaa, Mikk Mägi and Peeter Ritso

Directors: Oskar Lehemaa and Mikk Mägi

The first rule of The Old Man Movie: Lactopalypse is not to make comparisons with Aardman Animations. Although directors Oskar Lehemaa and Mikk Mägi employ stop-motion photography and construct characters from plasticine and scraps of cloth their dark, bawdy and surreal humour is miles away from the eccentric yet oddly sophisticated storytelling of Nick Park.

The film is based upon an Estonian web series by Peeter Ritso and Mikk Mägi (the former wrote the movie along with the co-directors). This may account for the episodic nature of the story in which characters jump from one crisis /gag to another. The start of the film has two pre-credit sequences setting the background and introducing the villain before the story even begins.

A period sequence establishes not only is Estonia heavily dependent (to the point of addiction) upon milk but that cows, if not milked daily, will explode, showering the area with milk– hence Lactopalypse. Three urban children are deposited at the farm of their grandfather (the titular Old Man) for the summer. The arrangement is not satisfactory to any of those involved. The Old Man regards the children as work-shy burdens, ignorant of basic working practices (they vaguely think milk comes from almonds) while the youngsters find the farmyard chores to be onerous and the treatment of the farm animals unnecessarily cruel.

However, the cow at the farm responds to the greater freedom allowed by the children by escaping. The Old Man, desperate to recover the cow before his customers go into withdrawal, sets off on a tractor in pursuit and in such a rush he leaves behind one of the children who has an inventive nature and radical ideas for producing milk without cows. The Old Man has, however, a rival – The Master Milker (who fell into disgrace in the opening sequence and who has mutated into a wheelchair bound creature who weeps and sweats milk) who believes the cow should be destroyed before it can explode.

The Old Man Movie: Lactopalypse is essentially a road movie with the characters bumping into suitably eccentric situations and learning life lessons before returning home. Identifying the target audience is not easy. The cartoon-like characters and one or two gags-The Old Man amusing his young guests by squeezing farts out of a pig- might appeal to youngsters. The are also some great expletives – ‘’Holy horse dick!’’ and ‘’Horsecock!’’

But the situations are adult and not always appealing. The villagers rapidly turn into a violent mob when deprived of their milk. Like the inhabitants of Royston Vasey even at the best of times they have a sinister aspect. There is a far from lovable alcoholic and during a funeral one mourner spits on the corpse. A group of unemployed loggers are forced to become minions for the villain comforting themselves with the litany a man’s got to work until confronting a creature so monstrous they conclude there is more to life than work.

Some of the gags might appeal not just to adults but to adults who have had few drinks to get in the mood. A talking tree tricks travellers into performing a sex act in a sight gag that would be hard to explain to children. The need to take a more humane approach to farming is resolved by a character shoving his head up the backside of a cow to become a hybrid creature.

The film is at its best when the back-to-basics animation coincides with the surreal humour. A child inventor develops a creature capable of taking milk from humans. It is a wonderful Heath Robinson construction made up of farmyard equipment, old refrigerators and heaven know what else; it bellows like Godzilla as the inventor remarks in an understated manner: ‘’I made a cow’’.

The scattershot approach limits the extent to which the movie achieves a cohesive whole but The Old Man Movie: Lactopalypse contains more hits than misses.

The Old Man Movie: Lactopalypsewill have Talent Q&A screenings starting between 24th – 29th May, with UK wide screenings from 2nd June.