Summary
- Spaceballs is a beloved cult classic due to its hilarious parody of Star Wars and its wide variety of comedy and one-liners.
- The movie pokes fun at iconic Star Wars elements, such as the opening crawl, Darth Vader's helmet, and the simplistic theme of good versus evil.
- Spaceballs also takes jabs at movie merchandising, sound effects, and references other sci-fi franchises like Star Trek, resulting in a fun and entertaining space odyssey.
The best Spaceballs quotes show why the 1987 Mel Brooks sci-fi comedy remains a cult classic decades later. Spaceballs is a parody of the Star Wars franchise, but the movie has established its own iconic status with its hilarious gags, from the fun references to the fourth-wall-breaking fun. The movie's plot is largely unnecessary as it loosely follows Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope. What makes Spaceballs such a cult classic is the band of colorful characters and highly quotable dialogue throughout the space odyssey. Each character provides plenty of hysterical one-liners, with Dark Helmet (Rick Moranis) often responsible for the funniest Spaceballs quotes.
Though it Star Wars satire for a lot of its jokes, Spaceballs is often considered one of the best Mel Brooks movies because of its wide variety of comedy and a script packed full of one-liners and gags that are hilarious even out of context. The most memorable Spaceballs quotes poke fun at the sci-fi genre and movie making in general, use hilarious puns, and embrace the wackiness of the characters to lambast much more than Star Wars. The result is a wide array of hilarious lines that give Spaceballs the reputation as one of the most beloved sci-fi comedies of all time.
25 "If You Can Read This, You Don’t Need Glasses."
Opening Crawl
The opening crawls in Star Wars movies are among the most iconic aspects of the franchise. so it was inevitable that Spaceballs would have its own take on the concept. The crawl initially is fairly straightforward and does its job of setting up the main story of the movie that is about to unfold. However, the audience knows there is a joke coming and sure enough, as the words get smaller and further away, Spaceballs reveals the entire opening crawl to be a standard eye exam. It is a fun way to kick off the Mel Brooks Star Wars spoof, and the text is expectedly hilarious. Here's the Spaceballs opening crawl in full:
Once upon a time warp...
In a galaxy very, very, very, very, far away there lived a ruthless race of beings known as... Spaceballs
Chapter Eleven
The evil leaders of Planet Spaceball, having foolishly squandered their precious atmosphere, have devised a secret plan to take every breath of air away from their peace-loving neighbor, Planet Druidia.
Today is Princess Vespa's wedding day. Unbeknownst to the princess but knownst to us, danger lurks in the stars above...
If you can read this, you don't need glasses.
24 "I Can’t Breathe In This Thing."
Dark Helmet (Rick Moranis)
Another Star Wars element Spaceballs pokes fun at is Darth Vader's iconic helmet and labored breathing. Rick Moranis's character, Dark Helmet, is the Spaceballs parody's take on Darth Vader is responsible for many of the best Spaceballs quotes. The first appearance of Dark Helmet, complete with an absurdly oversized helmet and the familiar breathing sounds of Darth Vader, takes no time to poke fun at the Star Wars Sith Lord. Dark Helmet's breathing gets increasingly labored until he opens up the helmet gasping for breath. While Vader's helmet was to save his life, it seems Dark Helmet's headgear is a purely aesthetic choice and not very practical.
23 "You Idiots! These Are Not Them! You’ve Captured Their Stunt Doubles!"
Captain of the Guard (Stephen Toblowsky)
Mel Brooks' spoof movies were known for breaking the fourth wall, and this early Spaceballs quote from the Captain of the Guard played by Stephen Toblowsky. Spaceballs has several fourth wall breaks, and one of the best comes when the heroes are seemingly captured by Dark Helmet's forces. However, it's quickly revealed with this hilarious line that the prisoners taken by the guard aren't the crew of The Eagle 5 but the stunt doubles of the actors playing them.
22 "The Ship Is Too Big. If I Walk, The Movie Will Be Over."
President Skroob (Mel Brooks)
Mel Brooks' role as Yogurt certainly makes for some hilarious Spaceballs quotes, but perhaps the funnier role is that of President Skroob. Meant to be a less threatening and more incompetent stand-in for Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars, Skroob even gets a moment like Palpatine's entrance in Return of the Jedi. He arrives slowly walking down an aisle of stormtroopers standing at attention. In Spaceballs' version, however, President Skroob briskly walks past all the soldiers, explaining that the movie doesn't have enough time for him to walk.
21 "Now You See That Evil Will Always Triumph Because Good Is Dumb."
Dark Helmet (Rick Moranis)
As entertaining as Star Wars is, it has sometimes been criticized for being overly simplistic in its portrayal of good versus evil. Spaceballs leaps on that simple theme and has a lot of fun poking fun at the generic heroes versus villains story of the original Star Wars trilogy. When Dark Helmet and Lone Star face off in the climax of Spaceballs, Dark Helmet's argument for why his side is superior is hilariously childish, taking the subtext of Darth Vader's attempts to sway Luke Skywalker to the Dark Side and delivering the message in the way a 10-year-old would.
20 "They've Gone To Plaid!"
Barf (John Candy)
Parodying the many space chase scenes in the Star Wars franchise, Dark Helmet's Spaceball One chases after Lone Starr's ship, the Eagle 5, by going to "ludicrous speed", which proves to be far too quick for the pursuit speed that they actually need. As Spaceball One speeds past them, Barf and Lone Starr are engulfed in a plaid-patterned light, referencing the way that the light of the stars starts to bend when lightspeed is engaged in Star Wars. It is a silly sight gag that is a reminder that some of the space-age jargon in these types of movies sounds ridiculous if the audience really examines it.
19 "Spaceballs, The T-Shirt! Spaceballs, The Coloring Book! Spaceballs, The Lunchbox! Spaceballs, The Breakfast Cereal! Spaceballs, The Flamethrower!"
Yogurt (Mel Brooks)
Spaceballs is all about poking fun at Star Wars in a loving way, and the massive impact that the original sci-fi blockbuster made wasn't just in filmmaking but in merchandising. This hilarious Spaceballs moment comes from Yogurt, another Mel Brooks character, who's a play on Star Wars' Yoda. As Yogurt, Brooks takes the time to show off all the ready-made Spaceballs merchandise within the movie itself — capping it all off with a big blast from the flamethrower. Certain choices in the Star Wars franchise, such as the Ewoks, are seen by some as included only for merchandising opportunities. Spaceballs just takes a less subtle approach to that idea.
18 "I've Lost The Bleeps, I've Lost The Sweeps, And I've Lost The Creeps."
Radar Technician (Michael Winslow)
Michael Winslow is best known to movie fans as Larvell Jones from the Police Academy movies, in which he got to extensively show off his abilities in mimicking sound effects with his own voice. Winslow makes an appearance as a radar technician on Spaceball One who explains the ship's loss of function in the way that only Winslow can, simulating just what a "beeps", "sweeps", and "creeps" sound like with his amazing voice. The noises are accurate and instantly recognizable from endless sci-fi and space-set movies, and it's unsurprising that Windslow's brief appearance led to one of the best Spaceballs quotes.
17 "Lock One. Lock Two. Lock Three. Loch Lomond!"
Snotty (Jeff MacGregor)
Though most of the gags in Spaceballs are inspired by the Star Wars franchise, some other famous sci-fi properties are referenced throughout. One of the most direct references comes in the form of a teleportation technician named "Snotty", who is obviously a nod to the character of Scotty from Star Trek. The lovingly named "Scotty" often shows his Scottish pride in Star Trek and so too does Snotty with this direct and silly homage to the character. It is part of the reason Spaceballs is so much fun for sci-fi fans as so many different franchises collide.
16 "Listen, We're Not Just Doing This For Money. We're Doing It For A S*** Load Of Money!"
Lone Starr (Bill Pullman)
Spaceballs' leading hero Lone Starr is more a riff on Han Solo than Luke Skywalker. Lone Starr's all-around scoundrel-like qualities are hilariously highlighted by this line as the crew of The Eagle 5 consider their perilous mission. As he convinces his loyal partner, Barf, of the benefits of their mission, the short-sighted Lone Starr may not come off as smart, but the way he exaggerates the qualities of the swashbuckling reluctant hero archetype that is so popular in space operas is hilarious.
15 "God Willing, We'll All Meet Again In Spaceballs 2: The Search For More Money."
Yogurt (Mel Brooks)
Yogurt bids farewell to the main characters after their meeting and sends them off with another of the movie's more meta nods to the commercial success of Star Wars. The fact that Yogurt is the character who is most interested in the money-making potential of the movie is even funnier given director Mel Brooks plays the role. Though Spaceballs 2 never happened, the fact Brooks finally made History of the World Part 2 means it's still possible a Spaceballs sequel could appear one day, but until then this hilarious quote is the closest it's come to being confirmed.
14 "Look, Your Highness, It's Not That We're Afraid. Far From It. It's Just That We Got This Thing About Death. It's Not Us."
Barf (John Candy)
Barf is clearly a loyal friend if not a particularly brave one. That's part of what makes the John Candy Spaceballs character such a quotable one. In this notably funny exchange, Barf explains to Princess Vespa (Daphne Zuniga) that, as reckless as he and Lone Starr seem to be, even they aren't dumb enough to go up against the murderously uptight Spaceballs. It is a hilarious moment of Barf explaining away his unwillingness to risk his life as simply being a matter of preference, as if death was like a type of food that just doesn't sit well with him.
13 "Oh, No. Not Again."
John Hurt
Of the many, many pop culture references made throughout Spaceballs, one of the funniest without a doubt is John Hurt's cameo in the diner scene. It is a short appearance, but one that sets up the obvious yet hilarious joke as he suddenly collapses and an alien bursts out of his chest. This is a direct reference to Ridley Scott's iconic sci-fi movie Alien, but it's the baby alien's rendition of "Hello! Ma Baby" that adds an even stranger element to it. Hurt's delivery of this Spaceballs quote is particularly hilarious as he is in disbelief that such a thing could happen to the same person twice.
12 "Please, Please, Don't Make A Fuss. I'm Just Plain Yogurt."
Yogurt (Mel Brooks)
Spaceballs has a lot of fun playing on the iconic nature of the Star Wars characters, though Mel Brooks doesn't focus so much on the parody aspect of the movie that opportunities for simple puns are missed. As Yogurt, Brooks delivers this simple yet satisfying one-liner play on Yogurt's name in response to a chorus of praise from the crew of the Eagle 5 — delivering it with the total confidence that only Mel Brooks can give to such an obvious joke.
Lone Starr: Who hasn't heard of Yogurt!
Princess Vespa: Yogurt the Wise!
Dot Matrix: Yogurt the All-Powerful!
Barf: Yogurt the Magnificent!
Yogurt: Please, please, don't make a fuss. I'm just plain Yogurt.
11 "I'm A Mawg: Half Man, Half Dog. I'm My Own Best Friend."
Barf (John Candy)
Played by the late film legend John Candy, Barf is clearly a parody of the iconic character of Chewbacca from Star Wars, being literally a half-man and half-dog creature with a wagging tail and a love for bone-shaped treats too. Barf hilariously explains this and the pun at the center of his species' name when he first meets Princess Vespa and Dot Matrix (Joan Rivers), delivering another of the movie's most simple yet effective gags. Candy also has a certain lovable quality that sells him as a humanoid puppy dog, making this Space Balls quote that much funnier.
10 "So. At Last, We Meet For The First Time, For The Last Time."
Lone Starr (Bill Pullman)
The final confrontation between Lone Starr and Dark Helmet was built up to as an intense climactic moment, but Spaceballs then treats it with just as much irreverence as it gives to everything else. Lone Starr marks the occasion with this hilarious observation about how the two characters hate each other yet have no real history with one another. It is another twist on the kind of lines typically delivered in sci-fi and action movies, while also showing Lone Starr's dim-wittedness as he takes a moment to think about what he said and still doesn't see any problem with it.
9 "I Am Your Father's Brother's Nephew's Cousin's Former Roommate."
Dark Helmet (Dark Helmet)
Spaceballs found the perfect way to parody Darth Vader's famous "I am your father" moment from The Empire Strikes Back. The Star Wars twist is one of the most iconic shock-reveals in cinema history, and Mel Brooks' take on it led to one of the most recognizable Spaceballs quotes. It is fitting that Spaceballs takes this impactful moment and turns it into a silly and ridiculous gag that, by Dark Helmet's own admission, means nothing. While the original Star Wars scene has been parodied endlessly, this sticks out as one of the funniest takes.
8 "We're At Now, Now."
Colonel Sandurz (George Wyner)
As effective as Mel Brooks is at breaking the fourth wall in his movies, this might be his most mind-bending approach to such a gag. In trying to figure out how to outdo the heroes, Dark Helmet and his underlinings decide to pop in their VHS copy of Spaceballs to see what happens. It is a brilliant idea and shocking that no movie had done it before. However, just as Dark Helmet gets confused about where they are in the movie, it is a strange concept for the audience to wrap their heads around, adding to the fun of the moment.
7 "Excuse Me, I'm Trying To Conduct A Wedding Here, Which Has Nothing To Do With Love! Please Be Quiet!"
The Minister (Ronnie Graham)
Annoyed with the constant interruptions during Vespa's second attempt to marry Prince Valium (Jim J. Bullock), this hilarious Spaceballs quote comes from the minister (Ronny Graham). Vespa is unhappy to be marrying someone she doesn't love, and this is reflected in the minister's attitude, as he seems used to marrying people who aren't in love. What makes the quote so funny is the minister's tone and the quiet apologies from the wedding party, as well as the fact that the minister is played by one of the movie's writers.
6 "My Hair! He Shot My Hair! Son Of A B****."
Princess Vespa (Daphne Zuniga)
Daphne Zuniga made an impression as Princess Vespa, the Spaceballs take on Princess Leia, and this quote and the scene she says it in are unforgettable. Initially, Vespa isn't thrilled when Lone Starr hands her a gun. Her stance is that she hates guns— that is until one of their group's pursuers takes a shot that hits her hair. Seeing the princess go into action-hero mode is a fun moment while also being a fun nod to the iconic nature of Princess Leia's hairstyle and how it became such a beloved aspect of the character.