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Rosanna Arquette
Rosanna Arquette: ‘Real love feels like freedom.’ Photograph: Getty Images
Rosanna Arquette: ‘Real love feels like freedom.’ Photograph: Getty Images

Rosanna Arquette: ‘I fear the world will fall into the hands of fascist dictators – and white supremacy’

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The actor and film-maker on being ghosted for her politics, the best kiss of her life and having an angel experience

Born in New York City, Rosanna Arquette, 61, starred with Madonna in the 1985 film Desperately Seeking Susan, for which she won a Bafta. Her other movies include Pulp Fiction and Crash. In 2002, she made Searching For Debra Winger, a documentary about women in the film industry; her podcast series is called Radical Musings. She is married, has a daughter and lives in Los Angeles.

When were you happiest?
I am trying to find a little happiness at least once a day, so this morning.

What is your greatest fear?
That the world will fall into the hands of fascist dictators, and white supremacy.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Reactivity in anger instead of taking a breath. I can be explosive.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
The same thing. We’re always projecting.

Aside from a property, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?
A ring I bought at Reinstein Ross for myself after a big break-up. It was kind of shallow.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?
I have ugly feet.

What is your most unappealing habit?
Twitter.

What did you want to be when you were growing up?
A ballet dancer, and for a while I wanted to teach children with Down’s syndrome.

What was the best kiss of your life?
My daughter used to kiss me all over my face with her mouth open, and it was the cutest thing in the world.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Oh my God.

What is the worst thing anyone’s said to you?
That someone I loved dearly didn’t want me there when they died. It was horrible and it wasn’t true.

What is the worst job you’ve done?
A really bad film for no money: the director had no idea what he was doing and I was wondering: why am I here?

What does love feel like?
Real love feels like freedom.

Have you said ‘I love you’ and not meant it?
Yes, I feel bad, but it was a long time ago.

What has been your biggest disappointment?
People who have ghosted me for my politics.

If you could edit your past, what would you change?
I would have skipped the time my daughter was nine to 13, when I was in a toxic relationship.

How often do you have sex?
Enough.

What is the closest you’ve come to death?
About 40 years ago I drove off an embankment and tumbled down a huge hill. I was standing in the field with my car smashed like a can, saying, “Am I dead?” because I had seen myself dead in the car. Then someone said, “Are you OK?” and I didn’t have a scratch. I believe it was an angel experience.

What has been your closest brush with the law?
I’ve been arrested a few times for civil disobedience, for standing up for climate action.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
Be grateful.

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