Throughout his decades in public office, President Joe Biden has talked about his family. His two living children, wife Jill, and seven grandchildren are always by his side. In fact, People reported that since his time in the U.S. Senate, Biden had an unwritten rule to uphold family responsibilities. His granddaughters—Finnegan, Maisy, Natalie, and Naomi—and his daughter, Ashley, told Today in a 2021 interview that he calls them all everyday, making an effort to be an active figure in their lives.
In the past, President Biden has spoken about the 1972 car accident that killed his first wife, Neilia Hunter, and their 1-year-old daughter Naomi Biden. The tragedy has informed much of Biden’s political outlook, and his support of working parents. After Neilia and Naomi were killed, Biden became a single parent to his young sons, Hunter and Beau, and commuted four hours a day, every day, between their home in Wilmington, Delaware, and Washington, D.C., where, at 30, he was serving as the second-youngest senator in United States history.
Biden has also talked openly about the way his family and children helped him continue in the wake of personal loss. In an episode of the “On Purpose With Jay Shetty” iHeartPodcast, Biden said, “I had an overwhelming advantage in the loss," before explaining that his siblings, Valerie, Jim, and Frank Biden, were there for him after Neilia and Naomi were killed. He calls them his best friends, explaining that “they helped me raise my kids” during such a trying time.
In the candid conversation, the Commander in Chief opened up about his love for his current wife, Dr. Jill Biden, and his late wife, Neilia Hunter Biden. “No man deserves one great love, let alone two,” he said. With both women, Biden said that he knew he wanted to marry them after their first date.
Joe Biden and Neilia Hunter's love story was tragically cut short, but he has kept her memory alive ever since.
Neilia was born in New York's Finger Lakes region.
Neilia was "the daughter of diner owners in upstate New York," according to the New Yorker, and was born on July 28th, 1942 in Skaneateles. She attended boarding school in Pennsylvania at Penn Hall, where she was active in extracurriculars like French club, hockey, swimming, and student council. She went on to study at Syracuse University, per The News Journal.
Biden met his first wife on spring break.
It was during Neilia's time at Syracuse that she met Biden. They were both juniors in college and spending spring break in Nassau, Bahamas, when they crossed paths.
"She had an easy, natural beauty," and a "warm, genuine smile," Biden's second wife, Jill Biden, wrote about Neilia in her book, Where The Light Enters, per Marie Claire.
Nielia's family was Republican.
Neilia was raised Republican, and her parents initially had misgivings about the Democratic aspiring politician, per Biography. Neilia and Biden also came from different religious backgrounds, since he is Catholic and she was raised Presbyterian.
The couple got married on August 27, 1966.
By that time, Biden had moved to Syracuse and was attending law school there. (He was a law student on his wedding day.) Meanwhile, Neilia received her master’s degree in English and taught English in the Syracuse City public school system, according to the couple's engagement announcement in The News Journal.
Neilia was the "brains" behind Biden’s early political career.
After they tied the knot, the couple moved to Wilmington, Delaware, where Biden worked as lawyer and served on the New Castle County Council. From there, he campaigned to unseat J. Caleb Boggs from his Delaware seat in the U.S. Senate. Neilia was the "brains" of his campaign, according to The News Journal.
Nielia and daughter Naomi died in a tragic car accident.
On December 18th, 1972, Neilia took sons Beau and Hunter, then ages 3 and 4, along with daughter Naomi, who had just turned 1, to buy a Christmas tree for the upcoming holidays. Biden had recently been elected Senator and was setting up his first office in Washington D.C. His brother Jimmy called his sister, who was helping him organize the office, the New Yorker reported.
"There’s been a slight accident," Biden's sister told him.
"She’s dead, isn’t she?" Biden said.
After that phone call, "my whole world was altered forever," Biden later said during his Yale University commencement speech in 2015.
The family’s station wagon was hit by a tractor-trailer, killing Neilia and Naomi and seriously injuring Beau and Hunter. Biden was sworn into the Senate at the Wilmington hospital where his sons were being treated.
"The first memory I have is of lying in a hospital bed next to my brother," Hunter Biden said, while delivering Beau Biden’s eulogy in 2015. (Beau died of brain cancer in 2015.) "I was almost 3 years old. I remember my brother who was 1 year and one day older than me, holding my hand, staring into my eyes, saying, ‘I love you, I love you, I love you’ over and over and over again." (Hunter later named his daughter Naomi in honor of his late sister.)
Following his first wife's death, Biden described a "black hole" in his chest.
He later wrote about the tragedy in Promise Me, Dad: "the pain ... seemed unbearable in the beginning, and it took me a long time to heal, but I did survive the punishing ordeal. I made it through, with a lot of support, and reconstructed my life and my family."
Biden also reflected on his grief and suicidal thoughts to a group of Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) in 2012, describing a "black hole you feel in your chest, like you're being sucked back into it."
He continued in his speech: "Keep thinking what your husband or wife would want you to do. Keep thinking what it is, and keep remembering those kids of yours, or him or her the rest of their life, blood of my blood, bone of my bone, because, folks, it can and will get better."
"There will come a day, I promise you, and your parents, as well, when the thought of your son or daughter or your husband or wife brings a smile to your lips before it brings a tear to your eye."
Biden’s relationship with his kids helped him cope with the tragedy.
Instead of moving to Washington, Biden began commuting from Wilmington to D.C. every day on the Amtrak train.
"I began to commute thinking I was only going to stay a little while—four hours a day, every day—from Washington to Wilmington, which I’ve done for over 37 years," Biden said in that same Yale University commencement speech. "I did it because I wanted to be able to kiss them goodnight and kiss them in the morning the next day... But looking back on it, the truth be told, the real reason I went home every night was that I needed my children more than they needed me."
In 2022, he marked the 50th anniversary of their death.
Biden attended a Catholic mass before visiting their graves to commemorate the sad milestone. Several of his family members, including granddaughter Maisy, wife Jill, and children Hunter and Ashley, were in attendance.
