Everything We Know About Mindy Kaling and BJ Novak's Relationship—Including Sweet Details from Her Book
Mindy Kaling and B.J. Novak have one of the most charming, adorable and at times baffling relationships in Hollywood. They dated until they didn't, but remain so incredibly close that the world basically just wants them to call it a day and get hitched already. Kaling touches on their close friendship in her Amazon essay collection, Nothing Like I Imagined (Except for Sometimes), explaining that Novak is much more social than she is (she suffers from at times crippling social anxiety) and knows exactly how to push her buttons—but in the absolute best way.
Their friendship is so fascinating that they even got a book deal for it! Learn all about this adorable will-they-or-won't-they pair, whether Novak could ever be Kaling's husband,
2004: Mindy Kaling and B.J. Novak meet while writing for and starring in The Office
Kaling and Novak met while filming and writing The Office in 2004 when they were both 24 years old. Almost immediately, they had as off-and-on a quasi relationship as their characters, Kelly Kapoor and Ryan Howard, had onscreen. Novak attempted to explain to Vulturein 2012, "We were never really dating, we were never really not dating. We didn't know. No one knew. All you'd know for sure as that you'd always find one of us next to the other, even if we weren't getting along." He also noted that their characters began dating before they did and that Kelly and Ryan's ups and downs were inspired by their own constant arguments.
Kaling says that their relationship is "weird as hell," adding, "He is not my boyfriend, but he is not my best friend. I guess you could describe our relationship as a 'romantically charged camaraderie with loud arguments,' but I don't think Facebook would accept this as a new status."
She recalled to Vulture that they fell in love after working closely together in the writers' room "and then dated on and off for a couple of years, and now we are just, like, best friends. Like, real best friends. It’s the kind of friendship you have when you are embedded with someone, that you can only get by putting in that insane amount of time with people."
Kaling admitted in the essay "Lonely in LA" from her new Amazon book of essays that she was hoping to form a tight knit group of girlfriends when she moved to LA in 2005. Women she could watch rom-coms, shop and cry with. "Instead, I had B.J." she revealed. "He is my genuine best friend, and actually pretty in touch with his feminine side, but he would never do any of that stuff. B.J. doesn’t have much social anxiety (I’ll get into that later), and he’d rather die than ride in a white limo, but for some reason he’s the person who gets me the most."
Kaling revealed in 2015 that she and Novak actually grew up about 10 minutes away from one another, but didn't meet until the show that made them both stars.
2004-2013: B.J. Novak said Mindy Kaling "bullied" and lied to him on the set of The Office (but in good fun)
Novak recalled to The Guardianin 2016 that Kaling trolled him regularly at work. “She would lie to me. She would make up these – just out of nowhere – purposeless lies that I believed. Like saying that Allison Jones, the casting director of The Office, was also an actress who had been the third lead in Cold Mountain. And so I just thought that."
He gave an example: "There was this director, this older woman who directed a couple of episodes, and Mindy told me I couldn’t tell anyone, but Greg Daniels, the showrunner, used to date this woman in college. And then Greg asked me what I thought of her cut and I lied to Greg and said I thought it was great, because I was nervous to insult his ex-girlfriend, so he didn’t make the edits that I wanted. And later I asked him about it and he was like, ‘What are you talking about? She’s 20 years older than I am, we didn’t go to college together!’ I realized that Mindy just made it up. It actually affected my work-life!”
January 2013: B.J. Novak gets to work on The Mindy Project
Kaling hired Novak as a consulting producer on The Mindy Project and had him guest star in a 2013 episode in which he briefly dates Mindy before realizing he's actually in love with his best friend. Novak told Entertainment Weekly, "I don't know that it's a direct analogy, but it's definitely inspired by our relationship," Novak replied. "We are pretty inseparable best friends with a lot of chemistry ourselves, and we're not dating. Whenever we date anyone else, I think there's a period where the person is very skeptical of our friendship: 'Everyone seems to think you two might be a couple, and I don't mean to get in the way. Are you sure you're not dating? Are you sure you're not going to end up dating?' It's such a common thing to have that platonic best friend that becomes a little weird when you start dating someone."
Novak also joked that month that he and Kaling are "soup snakes," a reference to when Michael Scott misread "soulmates" on The Office. Since then, they've referred to one another as "soup snakes" numerous times.
May 2013: Mindy Kaling takes B.J. Novak to her first-ever Met Gala
Kaling told Us Weekly of her big night out, "This is embarrassing, but I'm a really impatient person. I had my hair and makeup done, and I had my pal BJ deejaying. He's my date tonight. We were listening to Nirvana and we drank a little."
2014: Mindy Kaling reveals B.J. Novak dumped her and broke her heart, while Novak admits he wished they'd gotten along better
In a 2014 interview on The Howard Stern Show, Kaling said Novak broke her heart when he broke up with her when they were both 24.
"It was years and years ago that that breakup happened. I was so sad, not angry, sad." Stern asked if she would have married Novak if he'd asked. "At the time? Yeah. I was 24. For the record, if anyone asked me to marry them, I would have said yes." Still, she insisted they wouldn't reunite romantically, explaining, "I love him, and I think he's a great person, but I'm not holding a candle for B.J."
For his part, Novak said in a Reddit AMA that he was closest to Kaling in terms of his colleagues from The Office.
"I was closest with Mindy Kaling, and also least close with Mindy Kaling, on a minute-by-minute basis. And I wouldn't trade it for the world. Actually, I would trade it for the world. What am I talking about: I'd trade it for a more consistently positive relationship with Mindy Kaling. She's the best."
February 2015: B.J. Novak humblebrags about his and Mindy Kaling's books
Or maybe not so humble.
He also boasted to Bustle about his friendship and working relationship with Kaling, explaining that they argued the most but also allied with one another most in The Office writers' room. "It's really fun to be her BFF, it is less fun to work with her. Mindy knows exactly what she wants, which makes her a great artist, but it is less ideal to get what you want."
He also noted how lovely her texts are. “It is a fantastic relationship with a lot of shorthand. I feel so lucky that I get a brilliant text from Mindy Kaling, like, once an hour. It’s like something you’d win at an auction — Mindy Kaling will blow up your phone!”
May 2015: B.J. Novak and his mom give Mindy Kaling a shoutout
Novak posted a photo of a shopping cart on Instagram complete with a Boston magazine featuring Kaling on the cover while at a grocery store with his mom.
June 2015: Mindy Kaling and B.J. Novak get a joint book deal
“It won't be a tell-all about our relationship,” Kaling insisted to Vanity Fair. “We don’t know all that much about it. We are in the early stages and we just did a work session on it. I think it's going to be great and funny, though.” She explained of working with Novak, "It's kind of not hard. I worked with him for eight years on The Office and basically it was like going to college twice with him because we spent so many hours together at that show. So it’s not hard actually. The experience is like what it would be like if you went to college and grad school with somebody. You meet someone and quickly find out you are great at working with them. So you want to keep that going. We understand each other, so it makes working together easy. I love working with him.”
The same month, Novak honored Kaling for her birthday.
"Happy Birthday @mindykaling," he wrote. "No amount of glamorous red carpet photos can ever cover up your truest and most wonderful self (though I understand why you usually go with those looks and not this one)."
Related: Mindy Kaling on Mom Life, Her New Netflix Show and the $14 Self-Care Product That She’s Hooked On
September 2015: Mindy Kaling admits she loves that fans ship her and B.J. Novak as a couple
"When people say that [they want us to get married or date], it makes me feel so cool," Kaling told The Guardian. "Like, 'Oh, people are thinking about me like I'm a character!' We are so different and we fight a lot, but the gift [Novak] has always given me is the utter and total belief that I am one of the greats. And it is an intoxicating feeling."
November 2015: Mindy Kaling supports B.J. Novak at his app launch
Kaling stopped by the launch of Novak's app, The List.
December 2015: B.J. Novak and Mindy Kaling party together
Kaling and Novak attend a pal's Christmas party together, and she was dressed to the nines.