As a high school senior, I really wanted to write about a movie in a high school setting. I’d planned to pick a recent one, but I realized that Hollywood doesn’t make these movies anymore. So, in order to find a movie to suit my purpose, I chose a teen movie that was popular when I was a little kid: “John Tucker Must Die.”

I love this movie. It has been one of my favorites since I was too young to understand it. I am not trying to tear it apart. I know that this isn’t a movie that’s supposed to be taken seriously. Since the whole premise is unrealistic, it makes sense that details and events throughout the film would be unrealistic too. However, there should be a limit to how much creative liberty writers and directors are allowed to take. Some details were just plain ridiculous and made no sense. On top of that, some of the characters’ behavior or reactions to situations contradict basic human psychology. Here are my main issues:

THE ENTIRE SCENE WHEN THE GIRLS DISCOVER JOHN IS CHEATING ON THEM

This scene is all over the place, but two things stuck out the most.

First issue: A lot of details are off, like when the coach calls seven people for one team and only calls out the four lead characters for the other. Somehow, despite not being called, a few nameless girls know to join this team so Carrie can have someone to whisper to.

Why it’s ridiculous: It just takes away from the realism. It would have taken the writers two minutes to come up with three other names, and it would have taken the coach ten seconds to call them out. They took the time to make up seven names for the other team. What are three more?

Second issue: Everyone’s (lack of) reaction when Heather spikes the ball at Carrie’s head.

Why it’s ridiculous: Nobody would have believed the “it slipped” excuse. There’s really no accidental way to spike a ball directly at someone’s head, and Heather wasn’t even trying to be discreet. People must have seen her. In a real high school, she probably would have been sent to the principal’s office before she even got a chance to throw the ball a second time.

THE FIRST MEETING AT KATE’S HOUSE

The issue: Okay, so all three of these girls get the idea to go to Kate’s house and start plotting revenge on the exact same night?

Why it’s ridiculous: Putting the overly-convenient timing aside, there’s also the fact that none of them ever heard Kate’s name. They didn’t know who she was, let alone where she lived.

ESTROGEN PILLS

The issue: After Heather slips John estrogen pills, he starts acting like a stereotypical girl.

Why it’s ridiculous: For one thing, there is no way ANY pill works that quickly. John wouldn’t be showing any effects until way later. Second, assuming that giving a guy female hormones might make him slightly more feminine (I have no clue how this actually works), it doesn’t actually make him think like a woman. Maybe he’d get emotional, but I highly doubt that he would ask if his shorts made his thighs look fat.

KATE’S SUDDEN POPULARITY

The issue: On her date with John, Kate is suddenly extremely popular, and practically everyone knows who she is.

Why it’s ridiculous: They go to public school with possibly thousands of other students. There is no possible way that everybody would know one person. As a private school student, I might be totally wrong about this, but I’m pretty sure that at a school that big, that type of popularity isn’t really possible.

THE THONG

Surprisingly, John’s wearing the thong and scaling the building isn’t the most unrealistic part of this sequence. Kate’s challenging his masculinity (calling him inexperienced) combined with the promise of sex might actually be enough to get a normal teenage boy to scale a building in women’s lingerie. What struck me the most are the following:

First issue: John barely gets in any trouble after being found in a thong in a teacher’s bed.

Why it’s ridiculous: Okay, so he gets dragged out of the room by the ear, and the coach chews him out, but that’s pretty much it. I’m pretty sure that schools don’t view a scolding and public humiliation as sufficient enough punishment for such an offense. In reality, he would have gotten expelled.

Second issue: Somebody has apparently posted pictures of a half-naked John all over the school.

Why it’s ridiculous: Once again, what school would ever allow this?

Third issue: After John does some fancy basketball trick (that a high schooler probably wouldn’t have been able to do in the first place), the guys that were previously harassing John decide to pick up the thong trend.

Why it’s ridiculous: I’ll admit that his teammates might stop making fun of him after he shows off enough and “proves himself.” But I don’t think they would suddenly want to start wearing women’s undergarments to emulate him. John’s making the basket has a lot more to do with his athletic ability than what type of underwear he has on. These guys must know that putting on thongs is not going to suddenly make them great or improve their technique. They either have the ability or they don’t. And considering the fact that they all made the team at a giant high school, I’m assuming they do.

GENERAL HIGH SCHOOL MALICE

The issue: Throughout the film, usually whenever the girls manage to publicly humiliate John, high school students are openly malicious.

Why it’s ridiculous: Teenagers definitely say a lot of mean things, but they usually do so behind each others’ backs (especially girls). Unless they are truly furious at someone, high schoolers tend to avoid direct confrontation. Any face-to-face confrontation is usually more passive-aggressive.

WHEN KATE DOESN’T WANT TO GO THROUGH WITH THE PLAN

First Issue: When Kate says she no longer wants to break John’s heart, her friends accuse her of being in love with him.

Why it’s ridiculous: Teenagers in movies use the word “love” way too lightly. Why would her feeling guilty equate to her being in love with him? All it means is that, in getting to know him as a person, it’s become harder to hurt him. Plus, now that he’s beginning to change his behavior, she might be afraid that breaking his heart will cause him to revert to his old ways.

Second issue: Beth, Heather, and Carrie argue over who John should be with.

Why it’s ridiculous: So they’re furious at Kate because they think she has feelings for him, but it’s okay for them to suddenly all want him again? Obviously, none of these girls are over this guy; I get that. Kate’s right when she says that they’ve made their lives all about him. But the change from “I hate him” to “he’s mine” happened way too quickly.

THE END

The issue: John displays his honesty by introducing his two girlfriends to each other.

Why it’s ridiculous: I get that this is to show that he’s changed (sort of). He’s no longer a liar, but he’s still a player. I honestly like that the movie doesn’t end with him embracing monogamy and turning into someone that he’s not. I really do. But even if he had open relationships in which girls knew he was seeing other people, I doubt he would be dumb enough to introduce his two girlfriends. That’s not honesty; that’s stupidity.